Chapter 27:

Blaine was ignoring Kurt, who was shooting him looks from his seat, looks which seemed to question Blaine's sanity. Blaine's heart was hammering in his chest and his throat was dry, but he was done. He was so fed up with the pretences and with being afraid and with everything. Nothing mattered any more, he may as well just let it all out.

Blaine met Kurt's eyes briefly. Kurt gave him a small nod, which Blaine translated as are you sure? Blaine blinked once. Yes. He tore his eyes from Kurt's blue orbs and looked around the room, looking at everyone rather than anyone in particular.

"There have been a lot of rumours going around about me lately," Blaine spoke up. He could hardly hear himself over the fast paced beat of his heart. "And actually, most of them are true."

He saw everyone exchanging glances with one another, everyone but Kurt and Mercedes, who simply stared straight ahead.

"If you're wondering which ones," Blaine went on. "The one about Quinn not having my baby is true, as we just learned." Blaine glanced over at Puck, who was just watching him, eyes wide. "Also, yeah. I kind of love glee club. Playing football bores me to death. Let's see, what else?" Blaine paused. "Oh, right. The big one. The one that my good friend David Karofsky spread around."

Blaine saw Kurt's eyes flash. He knew he was thinking Blaine was about to out Karofsky as well as himself, but Blaine wasn't going to do that, he simply wanted to alarm Dave.

"If you don't know what I mean by 'the big one', I'll break that down for you," Blaine said. He wasn't sure where he was getting his courage from. Maybe he was just too tired of being a coward, of hiding in the shadows. It was time to come out. Literally. "David has been saying that I'm gay, right Dave?" Karofsky looked away quickly. "So, yeah. I am. I'm gay," Blaine emitted. "I'm gay."

Eyes widened and jaws dropped all over the room. Blaine saw Kurt exhaling, shoulders slumping a little.

"The other half of Dave's rumour," Blaine said, carefully. "Was that I was sleeping with Kurt, there."

All eyes went to Kurt and Kurt simply blinked, his blue gaze locked on Blaine.

"Partially true," Blaine confirmed. "I say 'partially', because I wasn't just sleeping with Kurt. I'm through lying, so I may as well just go ahead and tell you everything. Kurt made me do something I didn't ever think I would do. He made me love him. He made me love him and he made me realise I hated myself, because I did. I hate who I was before I met Kurt. I hate that I made all your lives a misery." He looked towards the glee club. "I hate that I went along with all of you and your stupidity." He looked across at the football team. "I hate that I was living a lie, that I was pretending I was someone else, just to conform to what you all thought I was supposed to be."

Nobody said a word, just watched him with stunned expressions.

"So, Kurt made me realise who I really am and I fell in love with him in the process," Blaine continued. "He's the only one who has been here for me no matter what, even though you guys were supposed to be my friends. I don't really have Kurt any more. I don't have friends. I've literally got nothing right now. So, whatever. Now you know."

Blaine took a long inhale, then exhaled slowly. "To re-cap: I'm gay, gayer than Christmas. I'm gay and I'm through with all of you." His copper eyes fell on Kurt, then. "Except you. I'll never be through with you."

Kurt opened his mouth, the beginning of Blaine's name on his lips, but he stopped then and simply shook his head.

"I love you," Blaine told him and his voice broke. "You got me here, Kurt. You helped me come clean, you're the reason I could do this today. And I thought that at the end of all this, I would at least still have you, which I guess I was wrong about, what with how everything has played out. But still, I owe you for everything. Thank you for what you've done for me. And I love you, I really, really do." Blaine swallowed, a lump forming in his throat. It didn't go away. "So, that's it really. I've said everything I needed to. I know there's still months to go, but I kind of hope I never see any of you ever again once we graduate." His eyes lingered on Kurt. He probably wasn't going to see Kurt after graduation, he didn't have a choice regarding that. "Well, most of you anyway."

Blaine addressed the glee club, then. "Thank you for accepting me, even though I treated every single one of you like crap for years," he said. "I'm not going to bail on you for regionals, because you don't deserve that, so don't worry."

Rachel gave him a sympathetic nod. He looked over at the footballers, who still looked stunned. "Thanks for helping me become something I hated. I'm not going to be at the game on Saturday. For one, I hate playing football. Sure, I'm better than all of you, which wouldn't be hard, but I'm still not going to go, because you don't deserve it. The majority of you are homophobic, which is pretty funny when I look at some of you." Blaine shot Karofsky a brief glance. "If you expect me, as a gay guy, to help you, as homophobes, win a game, you're nuts. And even without that, you're all assholes and I'm not going to waste my time being around you any more."

Blaine took a deep inhale of breath, then looked at Kurt again. "Thank you for helping me find my heart, for putting it back together and for breaking it again. It's stupid, because I want to hate you, but I can't. I love you more than I ever have. I doubt I'll ever stop."

Blaine cleared his throat, glanced around the room once more, then turned away and walked towards the door, just as Mr Schuester walked inside. He stopped still, face contorting with confusion.

"What's going on?" he asked, looking around the room. "Why is the football team here? Blaine? Are you okay?"

Blaine shook his head. "I'm sorry, Mr Schuester," he uttered, then continued on out the door and down the halls and then out into the parking lot. He got in his car, heart aching painfully in his chest, a bitter sweet taste left on his tongue.

He let out a breath he hadn't realised he had been holding and started the car. He drove out of the school grounds and out on to the road and didn't stop until the first warm, salty tear trickled from his eye, followed by a torrent of more.

Blaine cried until he had no more tears left in him, his entire body convulsing with dry, tearless sobs. His head was throbbing and his heart was racing and he closed his eyes because there was nothing left to do.

To: Blaine at 5.01 P.M.
Where are you?

To: Blaine at 5.05 P.M.
Blaine, where are you?

To: Blaine at 5.08 P.M.
You need someone right now. Tell me where you are.

To: Blaine at 5.11 P.M.
Yeah, okay, Blaine, the silent treatment, that's real mature.

To: Blaine at 5.14 P.M.
Fine, I'll be at your house in ten minutes. Bye.

To: Kurt at 5.15 P.M.
I'm not at my house, I'm at the field.

"Hi."

Blaine didn't say a word, only blinked once up at the sky. Kurt nodded slowly, then went and sat down gingerly in the grass near him.

"Are you okay?"

Blaine raised an eyebrow, as if to say what do you think? Which, Kurt guessed, he had a point.

"Do you think you were ready?" Kurt asked. "I know you weren't planning it, but was it the wrong time? Are you sorry you did it?"

"No," Blaine said, breaking his silence. "No, it was time. It felt right."

"Good," Kurt said, relieved. "I was worried."

"Were you," Blaine said and he didn't make it a question.

Kurt sighed, silently. "Breaking up with you didn't mean I was going to stop caring, Blaine."

Blaine snorted.

"Oh, shut up, Blaine, you know I care," Kurt rolled his eyes. He eyed Blaine for a little while, then lay back next to him. Blaine leaned up a bit and looked down at him, brows furrowed.

"You're lying in the grass," Blaine said, stating the obvious. "Aren't you scared you'll get your clothes dirty?"

"I'm making an exception."

"An exception?" Blaine asked. "What for?"

"For you, Blaine," Kurt said, cringing at the fact that there was probably bugs beneath him. "You just—you just did what you did and you need someone, so I'm going to lay here with you."

Blaine lay back and sighed. "Why are you making this harder?" he asked, quietly. Kurt didn't say anything. He didn't want to make it harder. "By being here with me, you're making it harder."

"Do you want me to leave?" Kurt asked, sitting up a bit.

"No," Blaine said, tugging him back down. "No, don't leave me."

Kurt sat back and couldn't shake the feeling that Blaine wasn't just asking him not to leave the field. He didn't say anything about it, just sighed and watched the grey clouds drifting across the sombre sky.

"You can talk to me," Kurt said, after a while.

Blaine was silent and Kurt didn't think he was going to say anything else, but he did.

"I don't know what's going to happen now," Blaine uttered. "I don't know what I'm going to do, or say. I don't know if I'm happy, or sad. I don't know anything."

"Do you think he knows already?"

"It's been over an hour," Blaine pointed out. "He knows. I switched off my phone after I texted you back. I don't want to talk to him yet."

Kurt nodded. He couldn't get rid of the feeling of dread swimming around in the pit of his stomach. After Blaine had walked out of the choir room, all Kurt could think about was Blaine's dad and what he might do to him once he found out what had happened.

Kurt heard Blaine sniffling a little bit. He sat up and looked down at him, studying him properly for the first time since he had arrived at their field. His eyes looked puffy and dilated. His lips were redder than they should have been and he looked tired.

"Have you been crying?" Kurt asked, softly.

"No."

"I thought you were done with lies," Kurt pointed out.

"I am," Blaine sighed. "Okay, fine. I cried. Are you happy?"

"You think I should be happy that you cried?"

Blaine only shrugged.

"Blaine," Kurt said, simply.

"What?" Blaine asked. "What do you want me to do? Should I pretend it's fine that you're cutting me into pieces every time I look at you? Should I just smile and act like I'm okay with you dumping me after you said you wouldn't? I thought I would have you when I did this, when I finally got up the courage to tell them who I am, but I don't. I mean, you're here, but you're not here, Kurt. You're standing in front of me, but you're not really here, where I need you to be. It's not the same."

Kurt opened his mouth to speak, but Blaine went on.

"Don't you get that I love you? That I just want to be with you? That I have nothing else in the fucking world to hold on to?" A small sob escaped Blaine's throat as he sat up to face Kurt. Kurt saw a single tears falling from his eye. "I have nothing left. I have no future, no real family that gives a damn and I don't have you," Blaine informed him. "I have to go home and face a raving lunatic and tell him that the things he's heard about me are true and maybe I wouldn't care as much if I still had someone that made me feel like i was worth anything. I don't know what's going to happen, Kurt. I'm going to have to just take whatever he gives me, because I can't fight back and I can't just walk out of there. For one, I have nowhere to go and secondly, I can't leave my mom. I have nothing, Kurt. I have nothing and my heart's in pieces and I'm just giving up. I don't have any other choice. It's over."

Kurt watched as Blaine buried his face in his hands and cried, his body convulsing with uncontrollable sobs. Kurt moved forward and did the only thing he could think to do: He tried to encircle him with his arms, but Blaine pulled back.

"No," he choked out. "No, you don't get to touch me and then let me go and walk away like I mean nothing to you. Don't. Don't touch me."

Kurt sighed and went closer anyway. Blaine's eyes seemed to question him.

"Shut up and let me hold you, Blaine," Kurt whispered, taking Blaine in his arms. Blaine's face twisted and more tears came and his body began to rock in Kurt's embrace. "You could never mean nothing to me," Kurt said into his hair. "Not ever."

Blaine gave in, his cries getting louder, his entire body shaking violently. Kurt tried to keep him steady, to hold him together, but all he wanted to do was cry with him, cry because he was cared of what this would mean for Blaine, cry because he wanted more than anything to keep him safe, cry because he loved the boy in his arms more than anything else in the world and he couldn't tell him, couldn't have him, couldn't take him by the hand and pull him out of this field and take him to a whole other world where nothing could touch them.

Kurt didn't cry, because he wanted to be strong for him, but he felt his heart contract, because he wasn't ready to let him go. He never would be.

"Come stay at my house tonight," Kurt said, stroking Blaine's knuckles with his thumb.

"I—I can't."

"Yes, you can," Kurt told him. "You're not ready to face him, so you don't have to. That doesn't make you a coward, Blaine, that just makes you human."

Blaine shook his head. "No," he said. "No, I know I don't have to face him if I'm not ready. I just can't be with you if—if.."

"Oh," Kurt said, quietly. "I know we're not—not how we used to be, but I don't want you to go out and get yourself into trouble. I want to know you're safe."

"Why?" Blaine asked, looking as if he didn't understand.

"Why?" Kurt repeated. "That's a ridiculous question, Blaine."

"I don't think it is," Blaine murmured, stubbornly.

"What would you do if the roles were reversed?" Kurt asked. "Would you go home and leave me out here, when it's clearly going to rain?" Kurt gestured up at the harrowing sky, threatening to cry a torrent of cold, angry tears.

"No," Blaine said, quietly. "But I also wouldn't have broken up with you. I would have tried to keep what we had, because, Kurt, when something's important to you, you try to hold on to it, no matter what it takes. Clearly, I'm not important enough to you."

"You can't see where I'm coming from at all?" Kurt asked. "Blaine, you are important to me. You mean the world to me, I just can't spend every day until I leave with you, because I don't know how I'll say goodbye once the time comes. Maybe it's selfish, maybe it's cowardly, but it's the only thing I can think to do right now."

"I do see your side of it, you know," Blaine told him. "I just don't know how you think doing it this way makes it any easier that you're going to disappear out of my life at the end of it all. Whether we're together, or not, this isn't making anything easier, Kurt. I'm hurting. I'm breaking now, Kurt. I'll be breaking later. I'll be breaking for the rest of my life. I don't care when it happens, I'm still going to be broken, so why shouldn't I get to love you for as long as you're here?"

Kurt frowned, because Blaine had a point. He just wasn't sure. He didn't know how he would handle it. He needed time.

"I'm not sure, Blaine, at least not yet."

Blaine sighed, then nodded. "Okay," he said, tiredly. "Fine."

"So, will you please come home with me?" Kurt pleaded. "Please?"

Blaine looked sceptical for a couple of heart beats, then he nodded. "Okay," he said. "Okay, if it'll make you happy."

"I don't know about happy," Kurt told him. "But at least I'll know you're safe."

"I thought you two broke up," Burt told Kurt, once Blaine had gone down to his room and switched on the TV. Kurt had left him there to go get drinks and food.

"We did," Kurt nodded. "But he kind of, um, came out in front of the entire glee club and football team and he can't go home. He had nowhere to go and I just thought—I just don't want him to be out on the streets all night, dad."

Burt nodded, understanding. "Yeah," he said. "Yeah, let him stay."

"Thanks, dad."

"D'you think he'll be okay?" Burt enquired.

"Probably not for a while," Kurt said, truthfully. "But at least he'll be safe tonight, right?"

Burt only nodded.

"I hate this movie," Blaine groaned, covering his head with a pillow.

Kurt smiled a bit. "Why did you pick it, then?" he asked.

"Because I feel like hating things today."

Kurt frowned and sat back with a sigh.

"I didn't mean you," Blaine's muffled voice said from behind the pillow. His fingers crept across and entwined themselves in Kurt's. "I could never hate you."

"Is every—oh. He's asleep," Burt said, lowering his voice.

Kurt sat up a bit and paused the TV. "Yeah, he's been out for a while."

Burt nodded. "I'm going to bed, Kurt," he said, with a yawn. "Will you.. You'll.."

"I get it, dad," Kurt told Burt. "Nothing's going to happen."

"Okay," Burt said. "Good night, Kurt." He looked down at Blaine, then, face softening. "'Night, Blaine."

Blaine didn't stir.

His mouth tasted as if he had eaten stake bread. He sat up, groggily and looked around the room, remembering where he was.

"Hey," Kurt said, beside him.

Blaine turned and looked at him, then settled back against the headboard. He reached across to the can of coke on the bedside table and took a swig. It burned his throat and he coughed a bit, then sat back again, his head throbbing, like something was pressing down on top of his skull.

"We should go get drunk," he told Kurt.

"No," Kurt said. "We shouldn't. You can't drown out every sorrow with alcohol, Blaine."

"I can try."

"Blaine," Kurt said, in a warning tone.

"Fine," Blaine sighed. "Break my heart and ruin my fun."

Blaine wished he could retract that comment the second it left his lips, but he was too tired to explain himself, so he just sat there, scowling.

"I never wanted to break your heart, Blaine."

"Yeah, it seems like it," Blaine said, not without sarcasm.

He didn't want to hurt Kurt, but he was still mad about everything. His life had turned upside down in the space of a few days. He didn't know what to do any more.

"Look at me and tell me you believe this isn't hard for me, too."

Blaine turned his head and looked up into Kurt's sad, blue eyes, at his down turned mouth, at his drawn, pale face, and sighed. "Okay," he said. "I know you're hurting, too, I get it. I just don't see why it has to be like this."

"I told you."

"Yeah, I know," Blaine nodded. "I still don't get it. Your logic sucks, Kurt."

"What do you want from me, Blaine?"

"I want you to give us a chance," Blaine apprised him. "I want you to be as brave as I know you are and give us a chance at making something out of this, because I don't know if you heard me the first thousand and one times, but I actually love you, Kurt. I love you and I can't just let you slip away without a fight, even if you can."

"You think this is easy for me, Blaine?" Kurt asked. "You think that seeing you broken doesn't break me, too? Do you think I like the idea of spending the rest of forever without you?"

"You're willing to spend the rest of forever never knowing what could have been," Blaine pointed out.

He saw Kurt's shoulders drop and he sat back, looking drained. Blaine wanted to go to him, hold him, kiss him, tell him he loved him, do whatever the hell it would take to get him back.

"You're miserable without me," Blaine stated. "I'm miserable without you. What's the logical thing to do here, Kurt?"

Kurt was silent for a little while, then said, "I know." Blaine watched him, intently. "I know, you're right, but I'm—I'm afraid, Blaine."

"So take a chance on me," Blaine sat up and took Kurt's hands in his own. "Take a chance, Kurt. If it doesn't work out, okay, at least we'll have tried. At least we'll know."

Kurt tilted his head sideways and exhaled. "I want to, it's just.."

Blaine nodded, understanding. "I know," he said, softly. "Sometimes taking a risk feels good, Kurt. I was terrified about coming out, but in the end, it was the right thing to do."

"I know," Kurt smiled a bit. "I was so proud of you for what you did today. I mean, i know you were hurting and I was hurting, too, but God, that was so amazing, everything you said, you—you're so strong, Blaine."

"Hmm," Blaine laughed, half-heartedly. "I wish."

"You are," Kurt urged. "You're stronger than you know."

"You're strong, too, Kurt," Blaine pointed out. "If we're both strong in this, then we'll make it. We can do it. At least give us a chance. If you walk away now, we'll never know what might have happened. We'll never know. We'll never have another day just doing nothing out in the field. We'll never sit in the corner of the library making fun of the librarian's shoes. We'll never have another one of those kisses that make me feel like I can't breathe, like I'm on this rollercoaster that might just kill me, but I can't get off, because I'm addicted, because I can't get enough, because I would die rather than never do it again. We'll never have any of that and I can't bear that, Kurt. I can't bear the idea of never having another day just being with you."

Kurt breathed out, shakily, as Blaine moved closer.

"Take me back," he whispered. "Take my hand, take my heart, take everything. Take me back, Kurt. Take me back and just let's see what happens. Take a chance on me. Take me back."

Kurt's eyes were gleaming now. He was taking long, drawn-out breaths and then exhaling in stutters.

"Please, Kurt," Blaine said, in a hushed tone. "Give me a chance. Take all of me, because regardless of what you decide, I'm yours. I'm always yours."

"I—Blaine," Kurt uttered, as Blaine's lips came down over his own.

Blaine placed a chaste kiss to his lips and Kurt seemed to melt into him.

"Please," Blaine whispered, surprised at the yearning in his own voice. "Please tell me, Kurt. I need to know."

"Yes," Kurt said, almost instantly "Yes, okay, yes. Let's try, let's just—yeah. I can't be without you."

"Really?" Blaine asked, breath hitching in is chest.

"Really," Kurt nodded, smiling. "Time to be brave, right?"

"Yes," Blaine chuckled and pressed another kiss to Kurt's mouth. "Yeah, time to be brave. I love you."

"I know," Kurt told him. "I love you, too."

Blaine froze, his heart stilling in his chest. "Do you?"

"Of course, I do," Kurt told him. "I've loved you far longer than you've loved me."

"You scared the crap out of me," Blaine smiled, dropping himself down over Kurt's body. "You never said it back and you scared the crap out me, made me think you didn't love me."

"I was scared of giving you all of me," Kurt told him. "But since we're being brave.."

"Say it again."

"I love you," Kurt smiled.

Blaine lowered his mouth to Kurt's pale neck. "Again."

"I love you."

Blaine dipped his mouth down to meet the pulse in Kurt's neck and he sucked the skin into his mouth. "And again."

"I love you," Kurt repeated and he reached down and pulled Blaine back up and caught his mouth with his. "I love you, Blaine."