Dec. 31, 2021, 1:30 a.m.
Sideways: Chapter 14
E - Words: 8,460 - Last Updated: Dec 31, 2021 Story: Complete - Chapters: 37/37 - Created: Dec 31, 2011 - Updated: Apr 13, 2022 12,608 0 22 0 2
Chapter 14:
Kurt glanced down the bus, to the back row and looked at Blaine sitting there staring vacantly out the window. Everyone else was celebrating after having won at sectionals. People were singing and laughing and drinking that awful sparkling cider that Mr Schue had bought. Blaine was sitting at the back by himself.
"Kurt, where are you going?" Mercedes asked when Kurt began to climb out of his seat.
"I thought I'd see if Blaine wanted to join us," he shrugged.
"Why?"
"Um, because he's part of this club and he's all by himself?" Kurt offered.
"So, leave him be," Mercedes waved a hand. "No one cares about Blaine Anderson anyway."
I do, Kurt thought.
"We can't just leave him there, Mercedes," Kurt shook his head. "He looks so lonely. Besides," Kurt said. "He's not so bad."
Mercedes assumed an incredulous expression, her dark eyes wide, lips parted.
"Not so ba—wait!" Mercedes' shocked expression developed into one of amusement and she grinned knowingly. "You like him, don't you?"
Kurt's eyes flashed for a split second, then he feigned surprise and acted as if it was the most ludicrous thing he had ever heard in his entire life.
"What?" he said, voice raised. "No! That's—Mercedes. That's completely ridiculous. I do not like Blaine Anderson!"
"Yes, you do!" Mercedes looked at Kurt in delight and she clapped her hands together. "Kurt has a cru-ush!" Mercedes said in a sing-song voice.
"That sparkling cider is going to your head," Kurt said, with a roll of his eyes, before sitting back and shaking his head.
Kurt's insides were still singing, after what had happened with Blaine by his locker. He knew that the happiness wouldn't last long, however, because Blaine's social status was going to be tainted and his dad was going to cause a scene and he was going to get down about it and probably mad and who knew what that would make him do? But for now, he was just happy. They had won sectionals, Blaine had done something that made him happy and in a way, Kurt felt that he had picked him over.. well, something, anyway.
He knew that it wasn't anything exclusive and that it was going to go back to Blaine stealing kisses from him while Quinn wasn't around and maybe to them doing sexual things and then Blaine freaking out and apologising.
Maybe that made him desperate. Maybe it made him a sucker. He didn't care. At least not right now. He would eventually. He would need to talk to Blaine, tell him they couldn't keep doing it like this, that he had principles, but for now he would just go with it. He would help Blaine get through this, because he knew exactly what it was like to try to deal with everything Blaine was going through and was bound to go through soon enough. He knew what it was like to be a social pariah. He knew what it was like to struggle with your sexuality. He knew what it was like to be afraid. So, for now, he would just be there for him.
"Hi."
Blaine looked around from the window and saw Kurt walking towards him, wobbling a little as the bus jerked. He sat down beside Blaine and looked at him.
"Hey," Blaine replied, eyes going to Kurt's wrist, because he liked to know he was still wearing the bracelet.
"Why are you sitting here by yourself?"
Blaine gave him a look that said 'you have to ask?' and Kurt frowned.
"Come on," he said, tugging lightly on the sleeve of Blaine's jacket. "Come sit with us. They'll be fine. You're part of this team, Blaine."
Blaine exhaled and turned his gaze back to the happenings outside the window. He had been part of another team, too, just hours ago. Now it seemed like everything was gone, like everything was falling apart.
"Look," Kurt said, sitting back next to Blaine. "I know you're worried about what's going to happen with everything, but it'll get better, regardless of what happens."
"I doubt that," Blaine mumbled, still looking out the window. Nothing was happening out there.
"That's because you're so negative all the time," Kurt told him. "Seriously, though. Things are never as bad as we think they are, Blaine. Trust me, there were times when I thought it was the end of the world. Like when my dad was in hospital. I thought that was it and I don't know what I would have done if I'd lost him. It wasn't like my life was all sunshine and rainbows as it was, but it got better. Things always do, eventually."
Blaine felt like an ass not for the first time in Kurt's presence. When Kurt told him about his dad and the things he had been through, it made him feel as if he had minor problems in comparison. He told Kurt as much.
"No problem is a minor problem, Blaine," Kurt responded. "If something is bothering you and it's affecting you in your every day life, then it's a problem, simple as that. Just because someone has a bigger problem than you doesn't mean yours isn't important. If something is bothering you and you're worried, then it's worth talking about, you know?"
Blaine nodded, thinking he understood.
"Besides," Kurt said and Blaine thought his voice sounded a little uneven as he spoke. "I'll help you out in whatever way I can. I—well, what I mean to say is that you don't have on get through it on your own."
"Thanks, but, um," Blaine glanced towards the front of the bus. "Can we talk about this later?"
"Sure," Kurt nodded.
Blaine nodded back, gratefully. He didn't want to talk about it right now. He needed to be alone with Kurt when they talked about his personal problems. The bus was far too crowded for his liking.
"So, are you going to come sit with us?" Kurt asked, smiling and Blaine frowned again, because when Kurt smiled, it made him want to do things. It made him want to say yes to whatever he wanted him to do.
"I don't think so," he said, anyway.
"Oh, come on!" Kurt said. "We've got sparkling cider!"
"Oh, wow," Blaine joked. "You guys are hardcore."
Kurt elbowed him playfully and Blaine smiled harder. He liked when they had little moments like this. It made him feel as if all was not lost.
"But, really, go back up there," Blaine said. "Mercedes keeps glancing down to make sure I haven't magically pulled a slushie from my back pocket and emptied it over your perfect hair-do."
It was true. She glanced back every few seconds, sipping from her little, plastic cup, her head tilted and her eyes narrowed. Blaine had the urge to wave, or flick her off, but he didn't think it would do him any favours.
"She thinks I've got a crush on you," Kurt said, looking down the bus in Mercedes' direction.
"Oh, she does, does she?" Blaine smirked. "And what'd you tell her?"
"I told her the cider was going to her head," Kurt grinned.
"Yeah, all that fizz can make you crazy," Blaine teased.
"Totally," Kurt chuckled. "Come on, come sit with us, Blaine. It'll be fun."
Blaine glanced up the bus at Sam Evans singing the theme song to Pokémon. Brittany had straws up her nostrils. Finn Hudson was trying to balance a straw on his nose. Blaine looked away, shaking his head.
"Yeah, it looks like great fun," he said, not without sarcasm and Kurt elbowed him again.
"Please?"
"No, Kurt."
"Come on," Kurt pleaded. "I want you to. Do it for me."
Blaine looked at him, then, because if Kurt really did want him to, he would probably do it. He liked the idea of being wanted just for himself. Other people wanted him for his status, like Quinn, for example. With Kurt, it wasn't like that.
"Fine," Blaine sighed and Kurt clapped his hands together as if to say 'oh, goody!' and Blaine rolled his eyes, affectionately. "On one condition, though."
Kurt's smile faded and his eyes narrowed, studying Blaine.
"What?"
"You come chill with me in the field later," Blaine stated. "I don't want to go home tonight and I don't really want to be on my own."
He hated admitting that last part, but with Kurt, it wasn't so bad. He didn't think Kurt would judge him, or at least not for those reasons.
"Deal," Kurt said, almost instantly. "Now, come on. Put on that winning smile and channel the Blaine Anderson that I know and love."
Kurt got up and walked back towards the front of the bus, obviously expecting Blaine to follow him, but Blaine stayed still in his seat for a couple of heart beats, his eyes wide and mouth hanging, because Kurt had indirectly said that he loved him.
"Did we just—we just had sex in a field," Kurt said, incredulously. "Oh my God. We just had sex in a field."
"Usually, I'm the one freaking out," Blaine said, staring up at the sky. "This makes a change."
"I'm not freaking out for the same reasons you freaked out," Kurt said, feeling a little dazed. "Actually, I'm not even freaking out at all."
"Yeah, you are," Blaine said, rolling over onto his stomach and pushing himself up on his elbows. He smiled down at Kurt who was staring at the sky with wide eyes.
They were on top of that blanket Blaine had taken with him last time and this time, he'd brought a second blanket, too, so that was over them. Kurt had no idea how it had happened. They had been lying there, watching the stars, like they had done before. Then suddenly they were kissing and then clothes began to fall and Kurt didn't even think to object to doing it in the middle of a God damned field, because Blaine looked far too gorgeous in the light of the moon and if he had said he didn't want him, he would have been lying through his teeth.
"I am not."
"Prove it," Blaine whispered and then he was moving across to hover over Kurt, who simply stared up at him, stunned.
"What are yo—"
Blaine was kissing him again and Kurt thought to push him off so that they could talk and he could complain some more about being naked in a field and having had sex with Blaine without any protection, but then Blaine was deepening the kiss and his fingers were stroking his arm, rubbing tiny circles back and forth, his touch sending small shivers along Kurt's skin, and he gave in with a sigh and kissed Blaine back.
When they pulled apart, Blaine grinned down at Kurt, his eyes a dark gold in the star light.
"You're right, you're not freaking out," he said, then rolled back next to Kurt, their arms touching. Blaine sighed. "I just don't want tonight to end."
Kurt could have taken the romantic analysis of that, which would have been 'I-don't-want-tonight-to-end-because-I-want-to-spend-every-minute-by-your-side-and-that-can't-happen-when-we're-in-public', but he was pretty sure that wasn't what Blaine meant. He was pretty sure that it meant 'I-don't-want-this-night-to-end-because-tomorrow-may-very-well-mean-I-will-be-cast-out-and-friendless-and-girlfriendless-and-have-to-deal-with-my-angry-father'.
Kurt sighed. "Well, no matter what happens, you've still got us, the glee club," Kurt told him, then tilted his head sideways to look at Blaine. "And.. you've still got me."
Blaine turned his head slowly to look at Kurt.
"For how long, though?"
"What?"
"How long do I still have you?"
Kurt knew what he meant. Kurt wasn't going to stick around as the.. the paramour forever.
"I'll always be someone you can come to," Kurt assured him. "No matter the situation."
Blaine nodded, then sighed again.
"If things were different, you know I..." Blaine trailed off, leaving Kurt watching him expectantly. It was clear he wasn't going to finish that sentence.
"You still don't think you're gay, do you?"
Blaine went still, Kurt felt him stiffening next to him. He said nothing, which Kurt thought was an improvement from instant denial.
"Blaine, we just had sex in a field," Kurt said, again, both as a reminder of how crazy that was and as a means of reminding Blaine that straight guys didn't really go around having sex in fields with other guys.
"I know," Blaine said, quietly. "How badly do you hurt right now?"
Kurt laughed a bit then, because he hurt a lot. Blaine had insisted on topping and they obviously hadn't planned on it happening, so they didn't have condoms, or lube, or anything that would make the intrusion easier (besides saliva, but that made Kurt shiver all over every time he thought about it). So, yes, Kurt was feeling very sensitive and uncomfortable and he didn't want to move. Ever.
"I might have to stay in this position forever," was Kurt's reply and Blaine said, his body shaking with laughter next to Kurt's.
"So, all these times when I need to come to you with all these problems, I'll have to come find you here?"
Kurt elbowed Blaine. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately.
"Very funny, Anderson," Kurt joked.
"It'll be just like in 'Pocahontas'," Blaine went on, smiling brightly, a lick of moonlight across his face. "Like when she goes to her grandma for advice. But her grandma is a tree."
Kurt spluttered and tried to sit up, but ended up falling back, groaning, because everything ached.
"Slow down there, Grandmother Willow," Blaine said, laughing. Kurt liked when he laughed, even if he was laughing at him. "Move too fast and you'll hurt yourself even more."
"And whose fault is that?" Kurt smirked.
"Mine," Blaine grinned. "But not once did I hear you refusing it."
As if he ever would.
"Two years," Kurt breathed, half-laughing. "How on earth did Quinn manage to put up with you for two whole years?"
Blaine elbowed Kurt this time and said, "Well, I'm not like this with Quinn, obviously. Speaking is difficult with Quinn. She doesn't listen most of the time. And she can be scary. So, she gets quiet, reserved, cool, 'doesn't-speak-unless-spoken-to' Blaine."
Kurt thought Quinn must have been crazy. She had him and she treated him the way she did. To be fair, Blaine didn't exactly treat her like a queen, but she could at least pretend to give a damn about him. Blaine seemed to pretend he cared about her, at least in public.
"For the record," Kurt began, smiling sideways at Blaine. "I think this Blaine is way cooler than the other Blaine."
"That's nice of you to say," Blaine chuckled, but his heart wasn't in it. "No one else does."
"How do you know if you've never shown this side to anyone?" Kurt enquired and Blaine shook his head immediately.
"I know what they're like."
"You know what, Blaine?" Kurt smiled, sadly. "None of that, the popularity and all that crap, none of that is going to matter a few years down the line. The way I see it, you may as well be yourself from the very start, because if you get too caught up in the pretence, you won't know how to be any other way and then eventually, your whole life will be a lie, you know?"
"I know," Blaine said, very quietly.
"I don't think you do know," Kurt sighed, sadly. If Blaine truly believed that, he would do something about it, but maybe at some point he would understand. Kurt hoped so anyway. Blaine looked uncomfortable and stayed quiet for a long time, so Kurt changed the subject. "I can't believe we're naked in a field. It's filthy here and I haven't moisturised or—"
"I'm sure you'll survive one night, Kurt," Blaine chuckled. "Now stop complaining, hold my hand and watch the stars, because this might just be the final night of happiness I have for the rest of my entire life."
Blaine slipped his hand into Kurt's and gave it a gentle squeeze, as if he just wanted someone to give him a little reassurance. Kurt could do that.
"You'll smile again, Blaine," Kurt told him, turning his head to look Blaine right in those honey-coloured eyes.
"No, I won't," Blaine said and Kurt could see the pain in his eyes. He wasn't sure if there were boundaries now that they'd been so intimate and he wanted to just move across and hold him. He didn't.
"Yes, you will," Kurt said, firmly. "I'll make sure of it."
Blaine walked through the hallways, his head bowed, wishing he didn't have to do this. He and Kurt had parted ways around the corner and even if Kurt had reassured him again and again, he just didn't feel as if everything would go as he hoped.
He turned into the hall where the lockers stood and instantly felt all eyes on him. He raised his head up and tried to look proud, because he was Blaine Anderson and he was better than all of them. Even if he didn't really believe that, he hoped that was the vibe he was giving off.
"Blaine!"
Blaine took a deep breath and turned around to see Quinn running towards him. He was screwed.
"You asshole!"
Blaine rolled his eyes. He was tired. He didn't want to deal with this. Sometimes, when Quinn behaved like this he wanted to shout that he was cheating on her, just to see the hurt in her eyes, but he always thought the better of it.
"I called you, like, two hundred times!" Quinn declared for all to hear once she had reached him. "I cannot believe you would do that, Blaine! Do you know what people are saying?"
"No," Blaine said, tiredly. "But I can imagine."
"No," Quinn said, angrily. "You cannot imagine. They're saying you're turning into a nerd!"
Blaine started walking away from her, but she followed, much to his chagrin.
"There are worse things to be accused of being than an nerd, Quinn," Blaine apprised her.
"Yeah, that's true, Blaine, because do you know what other rumour is going around? And, God, I hope a rumour is all it is. In fact, I'm sure it's just a rumour, because my boyfriend wouldn't do a thing like go gay on me!" Quinn shouted. Blaine's heart stopped, but he continued on, playing dumb. "Karofsky is saying you're sleeping with some gay kid."
"And you're paying attention to what Karofsky says because...?"
"Because you're acting weird, lately, Blaine, you can't deny that," Quinn tugged him back by the arm and gestured for him to follow her inside an empty classroom. He followed because she would follow him anyway and he would rather do this in private than in a hall filled with intrusive students, not to mention teachers.
"So, tell me," Quinn said, once they were inside. "Why'd you do it?"
Blaine sighed and sat down on a table. He looked down at his feet.
"I like singing," he shrugged.
"Oh, God," Quinn said, raising her hands to her head in distress. "Then you are gay!"
"Jesus, Quinn," Blaine groaned. "Singing does not make you gay. I'm not gay."
He kept his gaze low, because he wasn't sure that was entirely true any more. Maybe it was time he addressed that soon. He would think about it.
"Then why?"
"Because they needed a twelfth member," Blaine told her. "Look, I like doing it and they needed me, so I went, okay? I don't know why you're making such a big deal out of it."
Quinn looked deranged now, her eyes wide, brows raised way up high and her lips parted.
"Um, maybe because the entire world is talking about you!" Quinn told him and Blaine rolled his eyes again. It reminded him of what Kurt had said, about none of this mattering in the real world, in the future, outside this town. Obviously the whole world was not talking about one kid ditching his football game for a show choir competition.
"They'll get over it," he shrugged, but he didn't really believe that.
"And what about Karofsky?" Quinn asked and Blaine wished she would just forget about that. "Where would he get a story like that?"
Blaine sighed. He took a few breaths, then looked up at his girlfriend. Her eyes were questioning him.
"Look, here's the deal. You know I got paired with some new kid for English, right? Mrs Flynn's class?" Quinn nodded. "So, turns out the kid—Kurt—is gay. He's in glee, too, so Karofsky, who suddenly hates me for whatever reason, fabricated this tale that I'm having sex with him—Hummel."
"Hummel?"
He gaped at her for a minute. Was she even listening to him?
"Yeah, Hummel. Kurt Hummel. That's the kid I got partnered with."
"And Karofsky just suddenly hates you?"
"Yes, I have no idea why, okay? Maybe it's because I joined glee, I don't know, but he attacked me the other day. You remember."
Quinn nodded slowly, clearly believing him. "So, what are you going to do?"
"I'm going to break his legs," Blaine said. He had no intentions of actually breaking Karofsky's legs, or any of his bones for that matter, but he was definitely going to confront him and have a little talk with him about the janitor's closet incident.
"Okay," Quinn said, looking calmer. "Well, I think if that's just a rumour, we'll be okay. The whole skipping the game, though, I don't know. It was a really dumb thing to do, Blaine."
"Why is everything I like dumb?"
"I never said that," Quinn pointed out. "But it doesn't do much for your reputation, now does it? But maybe it'll be okay! Maybe if you do get in a fight with Karofsky, it'll up your rep.! Black eyes are hot, Blaine, maybe let him hit you a couple of times. Then maybe people will start seeing you as my cool, popular boyfriend again!"
"Wait," Blaine said, furrowing his eyebrows. "You want me to get hurt, just so I don't make you look bad?"
"Admit it, baby, it would help," Quinn said, hands on her hips.
"Actually, Quinn, I don't think I want to continue this conversation," Blaine said, standing up. "In fact, I don't think I want to continue this relationship, either."
Not that Blaine would have defined what he and Quinn had as a relationship.
"Blaine—"
"We both know why we were even together in the first place, so there's no—"
"If you break up with me, do you know what people are going to say?" Quinn said. "They'll think those rumours are true, Blaine. They'll put two and two together and they'll come up with you being a fag. On top of that, I don't think you can afford to leave me. You're on thin ice, Blaine. Me being your girlfriend is going to help put you back on top. How about you think about that before deciding you don't want to 'continue this relationship'?"
She was right. Blaine sank back down onto the table and took a long inhale of breath. Everything she had said, for once in her perfect little life, was spot on.
"Fine," he said, finally. "Okay. You got what you wanted, now can I get my books?"
Quinn smiled, satisfied and leaned up to place a tiny kiss on his cheek.
"Good," she said, once she'd taken a step back. "I'll see you in class, okay, babe? This whole mess will be over and done with very soon, you'll see!"
And with that, she turned around and left the room, swinging her hips. Blaine stayed there another minute. He closed his eyes and thought about how much worse that could have gone. In a way, he was disappointed that Quinn hadn't broken things off. Of course, he had had the opportunity, but he had to save his reputation. It was all he really had. Well, he had Kurt, too, but he was sure he would get sick of the whole arrangement sooner or later. In the long run, this was for the best.
BEEP BEEP.
Blaine reached into his pocket and pulled out his vibrating phone.
1 NEW MESSAGE FROM: KURT.
Karofsky knows.
"Well, look who we have here."
Kurt recognised the voice behind him immediately. He turned around, just as Karofsky's large hands came down on his shoulders. He tried to push him off, but he was far too strong. He pushed Kurt inside an empty classroom and shut the door behind them.
Kurt's heart was hammering in his chest. He wasn't sure what Karofsky was capable of and he really didn't want to find out.
"Karofsky, what do you want?" he asked, hoping he didn't sound too afraid.
"I saw you, you know," Karofsky snarled. He looked mad, really mad. "Yesterday."
"You saw me yesterday?" Kurt asked, confused. "Well, that's probably because I was at school. Good eye."
Kurt cursed his big mouth. The last thing he needed to do was provoke him.
"No," Karofsky said, moving closer. Kurt took a step backwards. "I mean, I saw you. You and Anderson swapping spit at the lockers."
Kurt went still. His initial thought was that Blaine was busted and he felt awful. He knew it wasn't really his fault, but he couldn't help but feel bad.
"Karofsky, Blaine Anderson is dating Quinn Fabray," Kurt said, because it didn't hurt to try. "He's not gay. I don't know what you think you saw, but—"
"Cut the crap, Hummel, I know what I saw and what I heard," Karofsky told him.
"It—It was a mistake!" Kurt said, quickly. "I kissed him. He wasn't expecting it, it just sort of happened. He told me he wasn't into guys and we left it at that. Seriously."
"You expect me to believe that crap?" Karofsky said, laughing cruelly. "I was there from the second Anderson said he liked your fucking, little girl arms."
Oh, well that was different, then. They were officially busted.
"So, what are you going to do, Karofsky?" Kurt said, gaining the nerve from nowhere. "You and I both know what you did to me in that closet and while I'm not about to out you to the entire population of McKinley High, I can't promise you that Blaine won't. So what are you going to do?"
Karofsky looked a little taken aback.
"Why him?"
"What?" Kurt asked, wrinkling his nose.
"You heard me," karofsky said, quietly, eyes on the ground. "Why him?"
Kurt was silent for a moment. He had no idea what he was talking about.
"Why who?"
"Why Blaine Anderson?" Karofsky said, voice raising. "Why not me?"
Kurt froze. Things had suddenly gotten very, very awkward. He could almost feel the ice in the room. He said nothing, but Karofsky went on, his face twisted angrily.
"I don't get it," he said. "He did the same things to you that I did, yet when I kissed you, you screamed like I had a knife to your throat. But when he kissed you—when Anderson kissed you—you kissed him back. You put your fucking, little girl arms around him and you kissed him back!"
"Blaine isn't anything like you."
Karofsky's head shot up and a million emotions passed over his face: Anger, fear, surprise, pain, more anger. Kurt felt sorry for him, then remembered he was actually a full on asshole, way worse than Blaine. He'd done things to him that Blaine never had, he'd said things, too. Karofsky was obviously having sexuality problems and yes, Kurt knew what that was like, but there were better ways to deal with them than beating kids silly.
"Blaine doesn't do the things he does because he wants to. He does them because he thinks he has to. I've seen the pleasure you get from hurting others, Karofsky. I've seen your face. He's not like that," Kurt said, firmly.
"You barely even know him—"
"Actually, I could probably safely say I know him better than any of you guys, who are supposed to be his 'friends'," Kurt said, forming air quotes with his fingers. "You've known him your entire life, I've known him for a little over three months. I'm pretty sure you have no idea who he really is."
"Screw him," Karofsky spat. "Oh, wait, you already have."
Kurt said nothing. Karofsky looked shocked, then, like he hadn't really believed his own words until Kurt had stood there and not denied it.
"You screwed him?"
"That," Kurt said, walking towards the door. "Is none of your business. Before you go around telling everyone about us, you should probably think. Blaine isn't going to sit back and let you say these things about him, regardless of whether they're true or not and I won't be able to stop him. If you do it and he tells everyone about what happened in the janitor's closet and then people ask me if it's true, I'm not really going to be able to say no, am I?"
Karofsky stared at him open-mouthed.
"Exactly," Kurt smiled and walked out the door.
He walked quickly down the hall and turned the corner before pulling his phone out of his bag, hands shaking. He typed a quick text and sent it.
Karofsky knows.
"This is a Blainervention."
"A what?" Blaine asked, looking at Puck and six other guys off the football team standing around him at his locker.
"A Blainervention," Puck repeated in a tone that said 'duh!'.
"Um, that doesn't make any sense—"
"Yes, it does," Azimio said, next to Puck. Blaine noted that Karofsky was not present. All the better.
"Okay," Blaine said, slowly.
"Quinn told us why you went to glee," Puck said and Blaine nodded. "She also told us you're not actually sleeping with Hummel."
Blaine nodded again. "I'm not."
"See, Karofsky gave us some good reasons to believe he was tellin' the truth," Puck went on and Blaine's heart beat sped up. He just wanted to run away and never come back. Maybe even take Kurt with him. "So, we're going to ask you to come clean. Are you gay?"
Blaine spluttered, hoping it was convincing.
"What?" he said, in surprise. "No! I'm with Quinn, how could I be gay?"
"You're sure?"
"Positive."
He could almost feel the entire world laughing at him. No one else knew, obviously, but if they did..
"Okay," Puck said. "Well, just so people don't think we're push overs, we're going to ask you to nicely not sit with us at lunch until after winter break."
Blaine let his mouth hang open. They couldn't be serious.
"What, really?"
"Yeah," Puck shrugged. "It's good logic."
"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard, Puckerman," Blaine shook his head. He felt sick and tired and he wanted to go home and sleep, but he knew it wasn't that simple. Going home meant facing his dad, which would not be pretty.
"Look, Anderson," Puck said, moving forward and pulling Blaine away from the others. "Blaine. You're my bro, right?"
Blaine nodded. He guessed so.
"Right and me and you, we're the number ones round this place. You screwed up and I'm all about forgiveness and all that. We won the game anyway, no harm, no foul, right? So, I can't afford to have my reputation ruined as well, now can I? So, if we just give you a bit of a time out, nothing can go wrong. After winter break, you just go back to being my same old bro, right? Everyone will have forgotten this little mishap and you end up back on top. Simple."
Blaine realised three things, then. One, Puck had the worst logic out of anyone he had ever met in his life. Two, Puck said the word 'right' far too many times and three, as dumb as Puck's logic seemed to be, he had a point. That was the way things worked around here and tomorrow was the last day before winter break. He could handle that.
He nodded. "Okay."
"Good," Puck grinned. "So, you just hang with those glee losers for the last couple of days and then in the new year, you're back where you belong. Everything'll work out fine."
Blaine hoped so, he really, really hoped so.
"Oh and for the record," Puck said. "I don't think you're gay, dude."
Blaine gave him a weak smile, before heading off in the other direction to his next class.
He hadn't thought he was gay either for a long time, but now, he just didn't know.
"Kurt Hummel!" Rachel Berry said sliding into the seat next to him at lunch. Mercedes slid in the other side and they were both grinning like mad women.
"Um, hi?" Kurt offered.
"Is it true? Is Blaine Anderson gay?" Rachel asked, excitedly.
"No, Rachel, he is not. He's dating Quinn Fabray, remember?"
"That tells us nothing," Mercedes shook her head.
"Look, Dave Karofsky made up a rumour, okay? Just because Blaine Anderson is in glee, he thinks he's gay and since I'm the only other out gay kid at this school and I'm in glee club, not to mention the fact that Mrs Flynn partnered us up for English, Karofsky decided he would pull me into his little game and say we're having some kind of illicit love affair."
Kurt gave himself a mental pat on the back. That was super convincing, even if he did say so himself.
"That's all?" Mercedes asked, looking disappointed.
"Yes, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but my life is not that exciting," Kurt told her, with a smile.
"That's a shame," Rachel said, opening her lunch box. It had a picture of a ballerina on it. "You guys would make the cutest couple."
Kurt smiled down at his lunch, hoping no one saw. Maybe they would. Maybe they did. Maybe he would never really find out.
Blaine pushed the locker room door open and walked inside, looking for Karofsky. He knew he would be here. He was always the last one to leave right after gym class. Kurt had texted Blaine exactly what had happened and what had been said and Blaine felt sort of proud of Kurt for doing what he had. Now, he needed to lay down the rules with Karofsky.
"Karofsky!" Blaine shouted as he walked through the lockers. "Where are you, you asshole?"
He heard the metallic sound of a locker door opening a little away from him, so he followed that. He saw him then, sitting on the bench tying his shoe laces. He was sweaty, his hair sticking to his forehead. He looked really flushed, too.
"Heard you're crushing on Kurt Hummel," Blaine smiled, leaing against one of the lockers.
"No, I'm not," was all Karofsky said. He didn't lift his head.
"That's not what I heard," Blaine told him. "The exact words I was told you said were 'why Blaine Anderson? Why not me?' That sounds like you're crushing on Kurt Hummel, Dave."
When Kurt had told him that, Blaine had gotten a feeling in the pit of his stomach. He didn't realise what it was for a few minutes, but then it hit him. He was jealous. He knew it was hypocritical. He was doing these things with Kurt and he was still with Quinn and still sort of bullying Kurt, not as much as before, but he was still doing it, but the idea of anyone else having, or being with Kurt, touching him and kissing him and whispering in his ear, made him feel sick.
"I don't have a crush on Kurt Hummel, okay?" Karofsky exploded angrily. He shot up out of his seat and slammed his fist into a locker.
"Good," Blaine said. "Now what are we going to do about what you think you saw—"
"I don't think I saw anything, Anderson and Hummel all but admitted it, so shut the fuck up telling me I imagined it."
"You're awfully mad for someone who claims he isn't crushing on the guy," Blaine said, looking thoughtful. "You sure it doesn't bother you that I spent last night with him?"
Blaine had no idea where he was getting the guts to say these things out loud from. His heart was beating far too quickly against his rib cage and he felt dizzy and giddy and like he might pass out, but he wanted to hurt Karofsky. He knew Kurt would frown at him for saying these things later. He knew he would tell him that he needed to be more careful, to not provoke him, but Blaine just didn't care right now. Karofsky wasn't going to threaten him and get away with it and he most definitely was not going to have a crush on the guy he—
"Shut up, Anderson," Karofsky said, sounding a little breathless. "I'm not into Hummel!"
"Then it doesn't bother you that I took his virginity?"
Stop, Blaine, his mind screamed. Stop, or you're going to be sorry.
Maybe he would be, but it was worth it, just to see Karofsky wincing like this.
"I see," Blaine smiled, sweetly. "I'm glad you're okay with this, David. Now, what do we do about this information you have? I have some information, too, remember?"
Karofsky mumbled something and Blaine moved forward.
"I didn't quite hear that."
"I said I won't say anything if you won't! God, Anderson! Can you just get the fuck out and let me finish getting changed?"
"Worried about me peeking while you've got your pants off?" Blaine asked, brightly. "No worries, Dave, you're not my type. I like my men with elegance and style. Like Kurt Hummel—oh! Oops! Sorry, I don't mean to rub it in. I'll just be on my way now."
Blaine gave him a wink, before heading outside. He stood by the door and leaned against the wall, the cool brick soothing. His heart was racing and his mind was twirling, but he smiled, because that had been sort of fun. He'd watched Karofsky squirm and pretended as if he was completely comfortable with his sexuality to someone other than Kurt, which felt really good.
He knew it wouldn't last, but he could smile knowing he'd done this, if only for a little while.
"What do you want?"
Kurt looked up when he heard Santana's voice. He saw her sitting there looking up at someone. Blaine.
Kurt eyed him, trying to figure out why he was standing at their table, looking awkward. Gorgeous, but still awkward.
"Um, can I-can I sit with you guys?"
Kurt raised his eyebrows and he saw everyone else do the same. Had the footballers really outcasted him?
"Why on earth would we want you to sit with us?" Rachel asked, in that snooty tone. "You've done nothing but made our lives a misery."
Kurt thought about speaking up, but he didn't think that would help quench the rumours that were going around and as much a he wanted Blaine to just come out and tell the world they were sort-of together, he knew Blaine didn't want that, so he needed to help him and speaking up would not help Blaine in the long run.
Kurt saw Mercedes looking at him and he couldn't really tell what she was trying to say to him. He shrugged and Mercedes rolled her eyes. Rachel was still going on and on about the various things Blaine had done to each member of the glee club.
"Rachel, shut up," Mercedes said and Rachel swung around to look at her, her eyes wide in surprise. "Just let him sit down. He came through for us when we needed him for sectionals, give the guy a break."
Kurt gaped at Mercedes and he knew she was doing this because she had come up with the idea that Kurt had a crush on Blaine just the day before and now these rumours were circulating, so she had obviously put two and two together.
"Come on, Blaine, sit down," Mercedes said, scooting over in her seat, leaving a space between herself and Kurt. Kurt wanted to kick her, because the last thing Blaine needed was to be seen sitting next to the guy he had supposedly been sleeping with. Which he was, Kurt thought, but still. He didn't really have a choice now, because drawing attention to it would make people even more wary.
"It's cool," Blaine said. "I don't want to intr—"
"Blaine, sit down," Kurt said, rolling his eyes.
Blaine sat. A few minutes later everyone had gone back to eating and chatting away and no one even glanced in their direction. Kurt watched as Blaine opened a packet of chips and held the bag up to offer them around the table. Sam, Brittany and Mercedes took one. He offered one to Kurt, but he shook his head.
"How's your day?" Kurt asked, eyes on his sandwich.
"Okay," Blaine said.
"Truthfully, though."
"I pictured it being worse."
"I told you it wouldn't be as bad as you anticipated," Kurt smiled a little.
"I guess," Blaine shrugged. "I spoke with Karofsky just now."
Kurt's heart sank. That couldn't have gone well. Blaine didn't appear to be bruised or cut.
"Oh, yeah?"
"Yeah, he agreed to keeping quiet if I did," Blaine said, quietly.
"Did you threaten him?" Kurt asked, frowning.
"Not exactly," Blaine apprised him. "I maybe said a few things I shouldn't have, though."
Kurt turned to look at him then. "Like?"
"Like—I'll tell you later. I can't say it here."
"Oh, God," Kurt groaned, because if he couldn't even say it in a crowded, noisy room where no one was listening, it had to be bad. "Text it to me. Right now."
Blaine sighed and reached into his pocket for his phone. He began to type. A few minutes later, Kurt took out his phone and clicked into the new message.
I told him we spent last night together. And I said I took your virginity.
Kurt shoved hos phone away, quickly, for fear of someone seeing. He was stunned. Why would Blaine do something like that?
"What the hell?" he hissed.
"I liked watching him squirm," Blaine smiled a little, then sipped from his water bottle. "He's got it bad for you, Hummel," Blaine smirked.
"Ugh, shut up," Kurt grimaced.
"He does," Blaine said, gravely. "Not that I'm happy about it."
Kurt looked at him, his heart stilling for a split second. Every time Blaine said something cute like that he stopped breathing for just a moment and he got butterflies in his stomach. He wondered if Blaine ever got that because of him.
"Really?" Kurt breathed and Blaine nodded. He screwed the cap back on his bottle and laid it down.
"I also might have told him I like my men elegant and stylish, like you."
"Blaine, what the fuck?" Kurt said, quietly. "I thought you were still in denial about the whole being gay thing!"
Kurt felt Blaine's mood change, but he didn't care, because this was weird. One minute, he was adamant that he wasn't gay, the next he was telling people how he liked his men.
"I wanted to piss him off," Blaine shrugged.
"Did it work?"
"Yes, it was awesome," Blaine grinned down at his chocolate bar and Kurt chuckled, because it was funny that Blaine was having such a bad day, yet something as small as this could make him happy.
"What about the others? Puck and Quinn and those guys?" Kurt asked and Blaine's smile disippated.
"That," Blaine said, quietly. "I will tell you about later."
Blaine took his phone from his pocket and pressed the middle button. The text opened up.
Good luck. Let me know how it goes.-Kurt.
Blaine smiled and took a deep breath, before slipping his phone back in his pocket. He was going to need all the luck he could get. He hated when his dad got mad, because he shouted and when he shouted, Blaine's insides shook violently and he was always caught between wanting to cry and wanting to hit his father back. He would never do either.
He opened the car door and stepped outside, the air refreshing. He breathed it in as he closed the door slowly, then walked equally slowly up the garden path. He stopped at the door and reached into his pocket for his keys. He felt the cool metal against his fingers and pushed the key into the whole n twisted it clockwise. The door clicked and he pushed it open and stepped into the hall.
Blaine could feel the tention in the house the second he walked inside. His heart was beating manically in his chest as he walked on, wondering where his mother was. He had always had this crazy, irrational fear that his father would end up murdering his mother and would either have fled, or be waiting inside to kill him, too. It was ridiculous, because he didn't think his dad was capable of that, but there had to be a reason he was thinking it, didn't there?
He turned into the living room and no one was there. It was oddly quiet and he didn't like it. He climbed the stairs, quietly and went to his mom's room first. He tapped lightly on the door and when there was no answer he pushed the handle down and walked inside. He saw her there, in the bed. He went closer, to make sure she was okay, then walked back outside, closing the door quietly behind him.
"Blaine."
Blaine almost jumped out of his skins at the sound of his dad's voice behind him. He turned around, heart racing and looked at his dad. He looked stern and serious, as always.
"I hear you didn't go to the game yesterday."
"C-can we do this some place else? So, we don't wake mom?"
Blaine's dad simply stared at him. Blaine didn't dare look away. After a few heart beats, his dad turned and walked towards his home office. Blaine followed behind. He walked inside and it looked the same as ever: Neat, tidy, everything in its place, just how Blaine's dad liked it.
Blaine watched as his dad went and sat in his revolving chair. Blaine stood there until he gestured for him to sit down.
"Explain."
"I joined glee club a while ago," Blaine said, voice uneven. "And the sectionals competition was on at the same time as the game and I-I didn't know what to do."
"You chose a singing contest over football?"
"They needed twelve members, dad," Blaine told him.
"That's not your concern," he said, looking disgusted. "That game was your chance to be recognised, Blaine. Scouts from every where were at that game. You missed your chance."
Blaine felt the urge to sigh. He wanted to scream and just leave his dad sitting there and go any where but here, but he couldn't do that.
"There will be other games, dad," Blaine said, quietly.
"That's not the point, Blaine," he said. Blaine really hated it whe he felt the need to use his name in practically every sentence. "The point is that in choosing this ridiculous singing, you've also allowed yourself to be laughed at. You'll wind up with no friends and no girlfriend and then what will you have?"
Kurt, he thought. I'll have Kurt.
"Those children in glee club aren't like you, Blaine," his father went on. "You're different, special, you come from a good family, from money. Most of them live in small houses and have no money. You have everything, Blaine. A good background and talent. You can't throw that away for a silly singing competition!"
"Show choir."
"What?"
"It's show choir. That's what it's called and it's not silly," Blaine said. He was fed up, tired of everything. "I like doing it and I'm good at it."
"Show choir isn't going to get you into a top college, Blaine."
Blaine stayed quiet, because he didn't actually have an answer for that.
"And what about Quinn?"
Quinn. Why did they always have to bring Quinn into it?
"What about her?" Blaine almost groaned, but thought better of it.
"Well, you two seem to be getting along fine," his father said. "If and when you do marry her, she'll need you to be able to provide for her and your family, when the time comes."
Blaine stared at his father open-mouthed. Blaine couldn't imagine having to spend the rest of his life with Quinn, even if he knew it was probably inevitable.
"Dad, I don't even like Quinn."
"You don't have to like her, Blaine. She's just the best choice for you," his dad told him and Blaine raised his eyebrows. "Do you think I like your mother?"
Blaine got angry, then. He had never stood up to his dad, not ever, but now he stood up out of his seat and leaned over the table.
"That's exactly why she's the way she is!" Blaine said, voice raising. "It's your fault! I don't want to end up like you!"
Blaine's dad stood up, too, then. He was taller than Blaine, most people were and he looked really mad. Blaine's body was shaking with anger and frustration. He clenched his fists and he could feel his finger nails digging sharply into the palms of his hands.
"Do you want to know what else I heard today from Noah Puckerman's mother?"
Blaine knew what he was going to say. He knew he had heard the rumours (albeit true ones) about himself and Kurt that Karofsky had been spreading around before they had come to an agreement.
"I can guess," Blaine said, sighing, not caring what his father thought any more. If he wanted to beat him to a pulp, so be it. At least he wouldn't die a coward, or at least not in this respect.
"Perhaps, then, you would like to enlighten me," he said, folding his arms. "Where do these rumours come from, Blaine? Do they just grow up out of the ground?"
"They come from David Karofsky being a fucking asshole," Blaine said and his father's eyes filled with intent. He was getting close to boiling point and if Blaine had had any sense, he would have apologised and gotten out of there, but he didn't.
"Language!" his father shouted. "David Karofsky is from a good family."
"So what?" Blaine said. "What is the definition of a good family anyway? Money? Never being home? Being abusive to your wife and son? Because you seem to have that one down pat, don't you, d—"
Blaine stopped, because his father had pushed him hard against the wall. Blaine wanted to push him back. He was sure he could overpower him, but there was something about hitting a parent that didn't sit right with him, so he didn't do it. He tried to hold him off, but it wasn't working.
"So, David just made up these stories about you, did he?" his dad asked, through gritted teeth as he held him firmly up against the wall. "He just decided he would tell the world you were having relations with this faggot? Just for fun?"
Blaine tried to shove away, but his dad pushed him back hard and his back hit the wall, sending the tremor of pain all through him. He groaned. He hated his dad, hated him for what he did to his mom, hated him for what he did to him, hate him for calling Kurt a faggot.
"Karofsky made it up because I joined glee, that's all!" Blaine managed, his ribs aching.
"I hope so," his dad said, voice low and cutting. Blaine felt his stomach dropping. "You need to stay faithful to Quinn in order to—"
"Like you've been so faithful to mom?" Blaine spat out. He wasn't going to take this any more. He couldn't. "Don't think I don't know."
"That," Blaine's dad said, pushing him across to the desk. "Is none of your business."
Blaine lost his footing and fell back on top of the table, knocking everything off. Good, he thought. His dad hated a mess.
"And what if I was gay?" Blaine said, his heart beating wildly. He had never said those words out loud before. "What could you do? Nothing."
"I'll show you what I can do!"
Blaine didn't reply because his father's fist collided with his face and Blaine's head flung back against the desk. It throbbed instantly and he felt his eyes closing a little. Then he hit him again and again and again and Blaine knew he was going to pass out from all the smacks of his head against the hard wooden table. The last thing he thought was that he wouldn't be able to text Kurt back to let him know how it went. Then the world went black and the darkness consumed him, sucked him in until there was nothing, not even pain any more.
Comments
Probably my favorite chapter so far. What can I say, I'm a sucker for angst. But their moment in the field was super cute!
THANK YOU SO SO MUCH!! :D
Blaine Anderson ;-; Im hoping everything starts to get better after this!! I can't take all the angst! Also, I secretly wanted the scene in the field where they had sex. Le smut, but romantic smut because it was without protection and it takes lots of trust and love for them to get there spontaneously. I want to see Kurt tell Blaine that he trust him to do it without le condom and with le spit~~~. And Blaine feels all happy and good and all that fluffy crap that I like. Lol but make it better now!! Great chapter!!! Also your updating timing is great. You update pretty often which is better than what I can say about other writers but I also understand about busy schedules and stuff. I start classes next week and well it's going to get busy.
I actually thought I was giving you all too much fluff, which is why I added in all this angst that wasn't in the original plan haha.Ohhh, I was going to write the field sex scene actually. I had it all planned, I came up with it all when I had to go with my mother to meet her friend and I felt like she could read my mind lol but IDK I left it out. I could maybe write it and add it in as an extra or something? If you really want lol. Thanks haha. I probably won't get the next part done tonight, because I have to go out, but I could maybe write that smut scene... I start back classes next week, too, but it probably won't make updating too difficult, since I've only got two classes this semester. I'm over sharing now though lol thank you for reading and liking it and if yo want I'll write that smut scene and post it as an extra or something :)
lololol there might be! :P I have so much more to write, I feel like this fic is going to be really long haha. THANK YOU! :D
So, yeah, I love jealous!blaine. Like, a lot. You should introduce another guy to have a crush on Kurt, but he'll be really sweet and nice and Kurt will actually like him. But not want to date him. And Blaine will freak out. Yes, I spend my time coming up with headcanons for your fic :P
Thank you! :D
Terrific! I love the way you have written the characters.
:(!!!! I'm very sad now. I love this story!!!
I'm sorry!! Thank you :D
Thank you so much :)
Poor Blaine. I know it must be hard but Kurt makes him happy he should just come clean. and then take his mum away from his father. i hate that man. loving this story by the way.
Blaine knew his choices would impact on his home life, and he sensed his father would turn on him. I hope he's okay, but how freaking cruel, to do this to your son.
Yeah, he's awful lol. Hahah have faith in me :P
I had so much creys at the end, I love your writing :D
THANK YOU SO MUCH! :)
Hahaha Blaine loves watching Karofsky squirm too :P
Omg!! D: Not freaking hate Blaine's dad to much! Poor Blaine's mum! They're just getting thrown around by his asshole! Grrr! I liked watching Karofsky squirm though ;)
Hahaha good, that's what I was going for! :P Thank you!
i hate Blaine's dad so much!! I hope Burt finds out and beats him up. I also hate Quinn. But i did love the scene between Blaine and Karofsky.
Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.
Sweet lord this is even better a 2nd time. Blaine's father is an asshole!