It's called break up,
'cause it's broken.

Chapter 24:

When Blaine walked into the kitchen the next morning, Kurt was already there, eating a bowl of cereal. He'd stayed in one of the empty upstairs bedrooms the previous night. Kurt's eyes dropped when Blaine walked in, but he continued eating.

"'Morning," Blaine muttered, sitting down across from him.

Kurt gave him a small nod.

"Did you, uh, sleep okay?"

Kurt looked up at him. "Not really."

Blaine felt instantly guilty for leaving him by himself. He let out a shaky breath.

"Have you heard anything? From the hospital?"

Kurt shook his head. He pushed the coffee pot towards Blaine. Blaine muttered a thanks and they sat there in silence for far too long and then Kurt spoke.

"I was thinking about taking a walk," he told Blaine. "Just to...to think about things. About everything. I just need to..to clear my head a little bit."

Blaine nodded.

"Okay," he said. "Yeah. Did you.. Did you want to go by yourself, or..?"

"I.." Kurt began. "I thought maybe you could come with me. If you wanted to."

"Sure," Blaine said, nodding. He was surprised.

"I was thinking I'd go to the hospital first and just see my dad and then go," he told Blaine.

"Okay," Blaine said, because he wasn't sure what else to say. "I'll go get dressed and we can leave whenever you're ready."

"Okay," Kurt said. It seemed he didn't know what else to say either.

Kurt went inside the room, leaving Blaine outside. His dad was in the exact same position, no change whatsoever. Kurt sat down in the familiar chair and took his dad's hand, just as he did every morning. This morning, however, he felt worse than ever. He felt so conflicted and torn and he wished he had his dad to tell him what to do.

Kurt sighed and looked at his father's unmoving face.

"Please wake up, daddy," he whispered, quietly. He hadn't called his father 'daddy' since his mom had died. "I need you," he said, a small sob escaping him. "I need you, dad."

"So, you and Brittany," Blaine said. "You never told me what's going on there."

Santana sat back in the plastic chair and folded her arms.

"Not much, hobbit," she told him. "She's been calling, asking how Hummel's doing, but we haven't really talked about...us. Maybe when all this blows over we'll talk, but right now, it just feels...wrong, I guess."

"Santana Lopez has a heart," Blaine teased. "Who'da thunk?"

Santana rolled her eyes, but she was smiling.

"Smart ass," she said. "So, what are you gonna do?"

Blaine shifted uncomfortably. "He wants to go for a walk later," he told her. "I'm sort of scared of what he wants to talk about. I mean, if he wanted to tell me he'd changed his mind, wouldn't he have just said so?"

"Maybe," Santana muttered. "You two are so complicated. And that's coming from me."

"I know," Blaine said. "But he's so worth it."

Santana didn't make any snide remarks, she simply nodded.

Kurt walked out a few minutes later, looking upset and drained. He kept his gaze on the ground and when he reached Blaine and Santana, he stopped. He raised his eyes to Blaine's and Blaine could tell that he had been crying.

"Do you think you're ready to take that walk now?" Kurt asked, voice quiet and broken.

Blaine nodded and stood up quickly. He looked down at Santana.

"You'll call me if anything..?"

She nodded. "Duh," she said, matter-of-factly. "Now get out of here and don't come back unless you're swapping spit and holding hands."

Blaine blushed and Kurt's eyes went back to his feet.

"Um," Blaine said, clearing his throat. "We'll see you later, Santana."

They left the hospital in silence and when they walked outside, Blaine made sure to switch his phone back on. He saw that he had three missed calls from his mom. It had been a few days since he had contacted her. Blaine looked up at Kurt, who was switching his own phone on.

"I just need to call my mom back," he told him.

Kurt nodded and Blaine dialled her number. She picked up on the third ring.

"Hey, mom," Blaine greeted.

"Hi," she said, sounding indifferent. "How are things?"

"Worse," he said, with a sigh. "Not with Burt. He's pretty much the same. It's just.." Blaine lowered his voice. "Kurt's taking it really badly."

"That's to be expected," she replied. "How are you?"

"Not great," he said. "He.. We.. We're not doing great. " Blaine sighed. "Sorry. I'll figure it out. How are things?"

They started walking out of the hospital grounds. The weather was mild, not really sunny, not really cloudy. The breeze was tame and it wasn't too cold, it was just right for a walk.

"Blaine, I know I'm not all the way there when it comes to the whole.."

"The gay thing," Blaine supplied.

"Yes," she said. "But you can still talk to me about it."

"Thanks, mom," Blaine said, gratefully. "But I don't think talking about it is going to help me much."

They kept walking and Blaine saw Kurt's eyes darting around a bit, like he was nervous.

"Um, mom, I have to go," Blaine said. "I'll call you soon, okay?"

"Okay, darling. Take care."

They hung up and Blaine slid his phone into his pocket and fell into step with Kurt.

"Was there somewhere you wanted to go?" he asked.

Kurt shrugged one shoulder. "Not really," he said, quietly. "Just wanted to get away."

Blaine nodded. Kurt had wanted him with him. That had to count for something, didn't it? They walked for a long time, in silence and Blaine guessed that Kurt was using the time to think about everything. Blaine stayed quiet.

They kept walking until they had reached a children's playground. A silent conversation passed between them and they both went and sat on a picnic table. The park was almost empty, bar a couple of joggers and man walking his dog.

"I wanted to talk to you, too," Kurt said, after a while. "I didn't mean to blurt what I did out like that last night."

Blaine perked up at that.

"So, you don't want to break up?"

"No, I do," Kurt said and Blaine's heart sank. "We have to."

Blaine didn't say anything, then he decided that the only way he was going to get answers was to ask questions.

"Why?" he asked. "I thought we were good."

"We were."

"But?"

"But I can't do this any more," Kurt told him. "I can't be.. I can't deal with this."

"I didn't know our relationship took that much effort," Blaine retorted. "I thought we left the effort behind the second we moved in together. We didn't have to make it work after that, we just worked. Has this always been such a hardship for you?"

Kurt's mouth dropped open. "No," he said, too fast. "God, no." He stopped and shook his head. "I'm trying to make this as easy as possible, because I don't.. I don't want to hurt you. Any more than I already have, I mean. I just want us to finish on...on good terms, as good as we can anyway.

"I'm not trying to make it hard. I've never for a second felt like our relationship was a chore. I just can't handle the commitment now, at this point in time. I.. It's really hard to explain."

"Please try," Blaine urged. "I know it's not a good time to say this, but you owe me and explanation."

Kurt nodded. "I know," he said in an almost whisper. "I just don't know how to give you one."

"The truth would be a good place to begin."

Kurt looked torn. He looked around, eyes sad, teeth worrying on his bottom lip. It hurt Blaine to see him like this. He wanted to hold him, let him know he wasn't in this by himself.

Kurt paused then looked back at Blaine.

"I just need to be me, by myself."

"Were you considering it before your dad got sick?" Blaine asked. He knew the answer, but he had to be sure. "Were you thinking about breaking up with me?"

"No," Kurt said, truthfully. "Not for one second."

"Then why?" Blaine asked. "Please tell me. This isn't some stupid thing we can toss aside and forget about. This is you and me. We mean something, Kurt. I can't let you go without knowing why I'm letting you go."

Blaine couldn't ever let him go anyway.

"If you tell me you don't want me, okay, I'll leave you," Blaine went on. "But it has to be true. I'd do anything for you to be happy, including leaving you, because if that was what you wanted and that was what would make you happy, then it would be worth it. So, please, tell me if you're unhappy. Tell me what it is."

Kurt looked down at the grass.

"Are you unhappy?" Blaine asked.

Kurt wavered, then nodded.

"But.." Blaine thought for a moment. "Just last week you told me you'd never been happier. That you loved me and that I made you happy. Was that.." Blaine took a deep breath. "Was that all lies?"

"No," Kurt admitted, then buried his face in his hands.

Blaine's body was shaking. He needed a real answer, a real reason.

"Please, baby," he said, quietly. "Please tell me the truth. All I ever do is love you. All I ever want to do is love you. Please tell me why I'm not allowed to do that any more."

Kurt let out another small sob, then lifted his face from his hands. He wiped at his eyes with his sleeve, then inhaled and exhaled deeply.

"I don't want to feel any more, Blaine."

It was the first time Kurt had said his name in a while. Blaine felt his heart shattering at Kurt's words. He wasn't sure he understood, he felt dizzy and confused.

"Kurt—"

Kurt cleared his throat and sat up straight.

"I'm sorry it has to be like this," he said. "I wanted to tell you that I.. I'm going to stay here. In Lima. For good. When my dad wakes up, he'll need me. I know he has Carole, but I don't think I could bear to leave him again. I'm too scared, too.." Kurt trailed off, shut his eyes, opened them again, then went on. "That's another reason we have to..to break up. You belong out there, Blaine. I've graduated, I can just leave. I know we applied to all those fashion schools, but this..this is more important. I can't leave him and I can't... I just need you to send my clothes back when you go home. You ca have the apartment, you pay most of the rent anyway. You.. You'll meet someone."

Blaine saw Kurt flinching at his own words.

"Someone who'll be able to love you without being too afraid," Kurt continued. "I can't do that for you, not now. I'd rather we didn't keep in touch, because it would just hurt too much. I'm so sorry. This is the hardest thing I've ever done and I.. I don't want to hurt you. I'm trying to be gentle, trying to make it..make it easier. I'm just not sure it's working."

Blaine shook his head. Nothing could have made this easier.

"Kurt," he said. "I don't really know what it's like not to be with you. I told you last week that I think back to who I was before you and I and it's like I don't even recognise who I was back then. Who I am now is because of you. I don't.. I don't know how to be me without you and I certainly don't know what it's like to be...to be with..with someone else. I'm not sure I can do that. I don't think.."

Blaine knew for sure that he couldn't be with someone else. He didn't want anyone else.

"I wish.." Kurt swallowed. "I wish you'd never met me."

Blaine's eyes widened and his jaw dropped.

"What? No," he said. "No, Kurt. You know. You know exactly what would have happened if I'd never met you. Please don't regret this. Even if you want to end it, don't regret it. I won't be able to handle it if you regret what we have. Sure, I'd change a few things. I wouldn't hurt you. I'd treat you right from the very beginning, but I don't regret meeting you. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"Please don't tell me that."

"It's true," Blaine told him. "You're everything to me."

Kurt looked like he was about to burst into hysterics.

"Don't cry," Blaine said, softly, although he was on the verge of crying himself. "I don't want you to cry."

"Crying and hurting is all I ever do any more."

"I wish I could make it better."

Kurt nodded. "Thanks."

"So, is that it? We're not 'Kurt and Blaine' any more. I'm just Blaine and you're just Kurt."

Kurt let out a shaky breath.

"You'll never be 'just Blaine'," he said and Blaine's heart did a flip in his chest. Even when he was hurting him, he still made him feel like he was walking on air. "Not to me. Not to anyone. You're special."

Blaine smiled sadly and he gave in to the tears stinging at his eyes.

"I love you," he told Kurt, even if he didn't think Kurt wanted to hear it. "I love you and I know you don't want me to, but I'll never stop. I love you so much."

Kurt gave in to his own tears then and they looked completely insane sitting on a picnic table, crying their eyes out. It was lucky the park was relatively empty.

After a few minutes, they were sniffling and laughing nervously at how stupid they looked and then Blaine's phone rang. Within seconds, Kurt's was ringing, too. They exchanged a glance and then they both reached into their pockets to retrieve their phones.

"Santana," Blaine told Kurt.

"Finn," he said, sounding breathless. "Something's happened. I can't.. I'm too scared to answer it."

Blaine's heart was hammering in his chest.

"I'll answer Santana," he told Kurt. "Whatever happens," he said, "regardless of what we are right now, I'll be here for you."

Kurt nodded and shut his eyes. Blaine accepted the call.

"Hello?"

"Jeez," Santana said on the other end. "It took you long enough. Are you with Kurt?"

"Yeah."

"Well, you two better get your bubble butts back here, because papa Hummel just woke up."

Blaine let out a sigh of relief, body shaking. He turned to Kurt, whose face was twisted in fear. Blaine's mouth broke into a smile and Kurt's eyes widened.

"He's...?"

"He's awake," Blaine told him, forgetting about Santana, who was probably still jabbering down the line. "He's awake, baby," Blaine said, as he and Kurt moved to embrace one another on instinct. Kurt melted in his arms. Blaine held him tight and whispered into his hair. "He's awake."

"Finn," Kurt said, body still rattling from the news. "Finn, can you pick us up?"

"Hey, dude, you didn't answer my call," was what Finn replied.

"I know, I panicked," Kurt told him. "Santana called Blaine. Can you pick us up? Is everything okay? He's okay, right? Please tell me he's okay."

Kurt felt Blaine's hand coming down on his own. He knew he should probably pull away, but he really didn't want to.

"Uh, yeah," Finn said. "My mom's with him right now. He was talkin' and everything when I was in there, but I, uh, ran outside to call you. He was asking for you. You and Blaine."

Kurt smiled at that. "I'm sorry I didn't pick up," he told his step-brother. "Blaine and I went for a walk. Do you think you could pick us up? Or maybe give Santana the keys and she can—"

"You want me to give Santana the keys to my car? Are you crazy, dude?"

"Maybe a little," Kurt admitted. "So can you pick us up?"

"Yeah," Finn confirmed. "Yeah, sure, man. Just tell me where you are."

Blaine stopped at the door of Burt's room and Kurt stopped next to him.

"You're not coming in?" Kurt asked.

"I... You go ahead. I'm not family, or anything, so.."

Kurt opened his mouth like he wanted to say something, but thought the better of it.

"He'll want to see you," he told Blaine. "I.. I know you've been worried. Please come inside."

Blaine nodded. Kurt gave him a weak smile, then pushed the door open and they walked inside. Burt was sitting up, eyes open, but he looked tired. He smiled when he saw them.

"Dad," Kurt whispered and he rushed to Burt's side.

He looked uneasy, then Burt reached up to hug him. Blaine stood there, shifting from foot to foot and then Burt looked up at him.

"Get over here, Blaine."

Blaine blinked, then walked slowly to stand at Burt's side. Burt reached out and pulled him into a hug. It still surprised Blaine every time Burt Hummel treated him like he was family. It touched him in ways he couldn't explain.

"I'm so glad you're okay," Blaine told Burt, as they pulled apart.

Blaine stood back beside Kurt, who was smiling, tears spilling down his cheeks. Blaine wished he could reach out and hold him, wipe away his tears, kiss his lips. Instead, he stayed still.

"Sit down," Burt said.

There was only one chair. Kurt and Blaine exchanged a glance, then Kurt moved to sit at the edge of Burt's bed. He nodded towards the chair and Blaine sat down. Burt seemed to eye them carefully.

"Am I missing something here?"

"Huh?" Kurt asked.

"You two," Burt said, eyes going from Kurt to Blaine and then back to Kurt. "Why aren't you, I don't know, sitting in his lap?"

Kurt raised an eyebrow.

"What?" Burt said, defensively. "A coupla' weeks ago you woulda been sitting in his lap."

It was probably true.

"It's.."

"Complicated," Blaine finished and Kurt nodded.

Burt watched them, then shrugged.

"Okay," he said, sounding sceptical. "So, tell me what I've missed."

They spent a long time talking about nothing and then Blaine stood up.

"I need the bathroom," he said. "Do you guys want anything?"

"No, I'm good," Burt told Blaine.

Blaine looked at Kurt, who shook his head, eyes on his hands. Blaine nodded and went towards the door. He turned back.

"I'm glad to see you're awake and healthy, Burt," he told him, with a smile. "I'll see you later."

Blaine went outside and shut the door. Once outside, he pressed his back to the cool wall and just breathed.

The second the door closed, Burt reached out and touched his son's arm. Kurt looked up.

"Want to tell me what's going on?" he asked Kurt.

Kurt exhaled shakily, then moved to sit in the seat.

"I broke up with him," he admitted and it felt strange to say those words out loud.

"Any particular reason?"

Kurt shrugged. "A few."

"I thought you two were happy."

"We were."

"Then what went wrong?" Burt asked.

Kurt took a deep breath and then it all came pouring out.

"I'm scared," he admitted. "I'm so scared, dad. I panicked. I looked at you lying here and it scared me so much that I might lose you and when I think about losing Blaine, I don't think I could handle it. I broke up with him, because I don't want to ever lose him. Not to...to death. Not to anything. I... My head is so messed up and I don't want to let him go, but I have to. Can you understand that? I keep pushing him away. I haven't told him the truth, because I know if I do, he won't leave me. I'm going to move back home. To Lima. I can't leave you."

"What happened to the kid with the big city dreams? Where'd he go?" Burt asked.

"I can't.. I can't be out there, knowing he's somewhere in the city. It's so hard, because I love him so much, but I have to do it, dad. I have to save myself, save him, too. I'm too scared to love him. Maybe if we're apart, it'll go away."

Kurt knew it wouldn't ever go away. He would always love Blaine, but he had to try.

Burt just watched him as he spoke.

"So, let me get this straight," he said, once Kurt had finished. "You're ending things with Blaine, leaving him, making it so you never see him again, because you're scared of losing him, of not having him any more?"

Kurt chewed on his bottom lip.

"When you put it like that it sounds stupid," he said.

"Well, that's because it sort of is," Burt told him. "You're closing yourself off from love because you're afraid. Do you think after your mom died that I wasn't scared of losing people I loved again? Do you think I wasn't over protective of you, because I couldn't bear the thought of goin' through all that again? Of course I was. But y'know, Kurt, sometimes you gotta take a chance.

"When Carole came into my life, I was scared. I thought about how it had felt when I lost your mom and I thought 'no way you can deal with that again', but sometimes it's worth it, Kurt. Would I rather spend the rest of my life with Carole and risk being hurt again or would I rather spend it being too afraid, not loving anyone, not letting myself be loved, because I'm too afraid? I'd pick loving her. Every time. Same with your mom. I wouldn't want to go back and not love her because I don't want to experience losing her again. The time I had with her is something I wouldn't exchange for anything. Yeah, it was awful, losing her like we did, but I don't regret loving her.

"Do you really want to spend the rest of your life not loving anyone? Not loving Blaine?"

"I'll always love Blaine," Kurt whispered.

"Not acting on it, I mean," Burt corrected. "Are you just gonna be miserable for the rest of your life, not experiencing all the things that comes with being in a growing relationship? Are you just gonna stick around in boring, old Lima doing nothing, because you're too scared of something that might happen?"

Kurt was silent. His dad was right, it made complete sense, but he was just so scared.

"I'm so afraid, dad," Kurt told Burt. "I'm just so afraid. I don't know what to do."

"You love him, right?"

Kurt nodded.

"Can you really picture a life without him?"

Kurt thought for a minute. He nodded.

"Is it a life worth living?"

Kurt shook his head.

"Then you have your answer."

Kurt looked into his father's blue eyes and they exchanged smiles.

"I'm so glad you're okay, dad," Kurt whispered.

Burt reached out and Kurt embraced him. He cried in his father's arms, for a lot of reasons. He was so glad he was okay, so glad to have him back. He was broken and afraid because of what had happened with Blaine. He was tired and hurting because he'd spent so much time letting himself worry about what he was going to do.

Kurt was so exhausted from everything that had happened, but now he had more to think about and he just didn't know what he was supposed to do.

Blaine knocked on the door and then opened it. He walked inside and Burt looked up from his newspaper. He smiled and held up the paper.

"This is from last week," he told Blaine. "Turns out you miss a lot when you're out of it for so long."

Blaine smiled and walked closer.

"Kurt's not here," Blaine noted.

"I sent him to get something to eat."

Blaine nodded and sat down.

"I've been trying to get him to eat ever since this happened," he told Burt. "It's not easy."

"He can be stubborn," Burt said. "Gets that from me, I guess."

Blaine smiled. He wasn't sure what he was doing there, he'd just gotten the urge to go in, to talk with Burt.

"Kurt told me what happened between you two."

"Yeah?" Blaine asked. "I wish he'd tell me."

He hadn't meant to sound bitter about it, but he couldn't help it.

"He's not thinking straight," Burt said. "And that wasn't a pun, by the way."

Blaine chuckled.

"He thinks he's doing the right thing, but he'll figure it out eventually. Question is, are you willing to wait for that to happen?"

"Always," Blaine said, without hesitation. "I just wish I knew there was a chance of him coming back to me."

"I think there is," Burt said. "He's confused and scared, but he'll open his eyes at some point and he'll realise he made a dumb mistake and he'll be too proud to tell you. That's why you can't give up on him."

"I would never give up on him," Blaine apprised Burt. "I just.. I don't know if he'll ever want to be with me again. I know he loves me and.. I don't.. Sometimes I think I understand why he's doing it, then I think about it too hard and it doesn't make sense, so I think there must be another reason, something behind it, something he's not telling me, that maybe he's been thinking about it for a while, that maybe he's fallen out of love with me. My own mind is my own worst enemy. I let it wander and it makes me crazy. I just wish we could go back to normal."

"You love my son?"

Blaine nodded. "With everything I have."

"Then you'll be patient and wait for him to come round," Burt said. "Kurt loves you. He just overthinks things sometimes and once he gets something into his head, it's hard to get it back out."

Blaine nodded. He knew that, he knew it only too well.

"He said he hurt you," Burt went on. "He feels real bad about it, but he thinks he's doin' you guys a favour."

"I don't get it," Blaine said.

"He'll tell you when he's ready," Burt said. "You're good for him, Blaine. When he told me you guys were seeing one another, I'm not gonna lie, I wasn't happy about it. When you started comin' round more and I saw you with him, I thought you weren't a bad kid. When I got to know you better, I thought you guys were pretty good together and now? Now I think you're for good. Yeah, you're young, but you know what? Sometimes it doesn't matter what age you are. You guys lucked out. You found each other early on in life. I think once Kurt gets his head back he'll regret what he's done. Hell, I think he already regrets it. Give him time, don't give up on him. He'll figure it out and if he doesn't, help him figure it out."

Blaine nodded, feeling a little bit better.

"Thanks," he said. "I needed that. I know we don't.. I know I'm not family, or anything, but you guys—you and Carole and Finn, you've been more of a family to me than my real family ever have and.. I'm grateful. If things don't work out with Kurt, I'll be sad that I won't get to see you all any more. Thank you for everything."

"Don't talk like that," Burt urged. "Kurt'll come round and you? You'll always be family, Blaine. We may not know each other that long, but sometimes it's not about how long you know someone, it's about how you feel about them and sometimes I feel like I have three sons. It's not about blood, it's about love."

Blaine smiled and felt the tears stinging his eyes. It was bitter sweet, he'd gained a family, people he loved, who loved him in return, but at the same time, he was losing the person who mattered most to him and it was tearing him up inside.

He spent a long time talking to Burt and then when Burt had to get some rest, Blaine left the room. Kurt was in the waiting room, with Santana and Finn. He looked up at Blaine and then quickly down at his hands. It didn't look like much had changed.

Blaine went and sat down next to Santana.

"Guess who's got a date tomorrow night," she asked, when he sat down.

Blaine smiled. "You do?"

"Don't look so surprised, I'm totally hot," she said. "I'm sure even you can appreciate that, despite your immense love for all thinks male."

"I'm happy for you, Santana."

"What about you?" she asked and she'd lowered her voice. "You and Hummel figured shit out yet?"

Blaine shook his head. "He won't even look at me."

"So make him look at you," she suggested. "The kid's miserable."

"He has a right to be miserable after what he's been through."

"Yeah," Santana said, "but his dad's awake now. He's miserable for other reasons. Reasons that involve a short, gay boy with too much gel in his hair and a fear of socks. Get your shit together and talk to him."

"Maybe he needs to figure this out on his own," Blaine said. "I don't want to push him."

"Maybe he needs a push."

"Maybe," Blaine said. "But I think I'll give him some space first, just to work things out in his head."

"So thoughtful," Santana said. "I still think you should make some sort of plan, Anderson."

Blaine shrugged. "I don't know how."

"You'll figure something out."

He nodded and sat back. A plan, he wondered and his mind raced with ideas. Now he just had to choose the right one.

Kurt watched Blaine and Santana talking quietly amongst themselves. Blaine looked tired and his eyes were red rimmed, like he'd been crying and maybe he had. It made Kurt's heart ache in his chest when he thought about hurting him.

Kurt had been thinking about everything his dad had said and he wasn't sure what to believe any more. He needed to figure it out. He loved Blaine, but the thought of losing him in the future scared him so much.

Kurt was so glad his dad was okay. The doctors wanted to keep him in for another while, but they said things looked good, which was a huge relief. He felt as if a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders, but where one weight had disappeared, another had formed and when he closed his eyes later that night, the weight came to his mind in the form of Blaine Anderson, with his golden-hazel eyes and his warm smile and his intense love for Kurt. Kurt knew he was only a few storeys away and that he could have gone to him, if he wanted and he did, he really wanted to, but he couldn't, not yet, not when he wasn't sure what to do.

Kurt stayed up until the early hours of the morning, the sun slipping through the small windows, thinking about everything and wondering what he was supposed to do when the only options would result in pain. He drifted off into a restless sleep at around 6AM, still unsure of what to do.

Blaine was two floors up and he fell asleep at around 5AM, his mind filled with the same worries that Kurt's was filled.

Both of them fell asleep alone, wishing they had the other there next to them, but things weren't that simple. They seldom were.