Chapter 13:

Blaine opened his eyes too early the next morning. Bright, colourless light slipped through the small windows near the ceiling and cast shadows all across the room. Blaine lay there looking up at the spotless, white ceiling for a few minutes, until he felt the bed shifting. He turned and looked at Kurt, who had turned over and was now facing Blaine.

Blaine sighed, eyes still on his sleeping boyfriend. He was beautiful. He was always beautiful. His chestnut coloured hair was sticking up and Blaine smiled, because he loved how Kurt looked after sex. He could see his eyes moving behind those pale eyelids. Kurt was probably dreaming. A small smile played on his light pink lips and Blaine wanted to kiss him, but he didn't, because he just wanted to watch him for a little while longer.

The bedclothes covered Kurt from his mid-torso downward, so his wan chest was on display. He was like a white canvas, unblemished, flawless, apart from his small, off-pink nipples and the marks Blaine had apparently left there with his mouth and fingers.

Blaine inched closer, carefully, not wanting to wake Kurt up. He reached out and took the edge of the cover, then lifted it. He wasn't being a pervert, he just wanted to look at him. It wasn't about sex, either. All Blaine wanted to do was admire the beauty of the boy laying next to him in bed.

Kurt didn't move an inch. Blaine slipped the covers all the way back and just looked at him. He was so pale, almost translucent. His body fell down into the swell of his hips and on either side of Kurt's hips, was a light, pink thumb print from where Blaine had held him the night before. Blaine had never really just looked at Kurt in the light after they'd been together. Were those marks new? Had he been too rough with him? He hoped not.

Blaine hated that he had blemished his gorgeous skin, hated that those were the marks his hands had left. He went in search of more. The mark just above the pulse of his neck was still there, it always was. Beyond that, all Blaine could find was a light scratch on Kurt's thigh. He sighed, tiredly and lay back, eyes still on his boyfriend's perfect body, the perfect body he had marked.

Blaine wanted to turn him over, make sure he hadn't done any damage on his other side, but he wouldn't wake him. He looked far too beautiful. Kurt was definitely the most beautiful person on earth, of that he had no doubts whatsoever. He was perfect. He had a well toned body, that curved a little into a set of perfect hips. His hip bones swerved down into a narrow 'V', leading down to his soft, darker cock, a small patch of hair just above it. His legs were long and lean and amazing and his arms were muscled, but still delicate and God, he was beautiful.

Before he could stop himself, Blaine had reached across and touched Kurt's chest. He ran his fingers all the way down, lightly, until he reached that patch of dark hair, then he changed the direction and touched the small thumb marks on Kurt's hips. He swallowed hard, wishing the marks would disappear, even though he knew it couldn't have been the first time he had left them there.

Blaine knew that it wasn't a big deal. It was just that everything was building up and he was letting it get to him. He needed to fix it soon.

In an endeavour to reassure himself, Blaine slipped the covers back from his own body, looking for similar marks, so that he didn't feel like such a monster for blemishing Kurt. He found four, half moon indentations on the back of his left hip, obviously from Kurt's nails, but nothing too awful.

He was darker than Kurt was, his skin sallow. Blaine could never get over the difference between himself and Kurt. While Kurt was all long and lean and elegant and smooth and white, Blaine was short and narrow and dark and hairy. He didn't know what Kurt saw in him, really.

He looked back and forth between his and Kurt's body and frowned. Kurt was like an angel, Blaine was ordinary.

He locked his eyes on his boyfriend's body and sighed again, but this time, he was too loud, because Kurt opened his eyes. He blinked himself awake, then followed the line of Blaine's sight and blushed a dusty pink, high in his cheek bones.

"Oh my God," he muttered and sat up a little, trying to cover himself with his arms.

Blaine smiled and sat up, too. "Hey," he said, reaching out and touching Kurt's arm, "don't get embarrassed. I was just looking."

Kurt eyed him for a moment, then lay back down, revealing himself again. Blaine smirked when he saw that Kurt's cock had grown a little bit.

"I, um.." Kurt trailed off, still blushing.

"Sorry," Blaine apologised. "I didn't mean to catch you off guard. You're just so beautiful, y'know? I just wanted to look at you, remind myself that you're mine."

Finally, Kurt smiled, then his blue gaze fell on Blaine's body and Blaine felt himself hardening a little at the fact that Kurt was just looking at him.

Blaine turned on his side and pressed his fingers lightly over the marks on Kurt's hips. "I'm sorry about these."

Kurt flashed him a look of confusion. "About what? My hips?"

"Don't be ridiculous, you're hips are one of my favourite parts of you," he told Kurt. "I meant the marks. I didn't mean to leave those."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Oh, Blaine," he said, with a sigh. "Those are nothing. They'll be gone by the end of the day."

Blaine just nodded.

"So, why are you ogling me in my sleep anyway?"

"I wasn't—Kurt, it wasn't—I mean—"

"Blaine," Kurt said, firmly, cutting him off mid-sentence. "I was kidding, honey. You can look at me all you want, honestly. It's not like you're not already well acquainted with my..everything."

Blaine nodded again.

"I just meant, are you... You weren't comparing us, right?" Kurt gestured at Blaine's bare body. "I mean, I know I'm no muscle man. I don't have the abs and the muscles and the biceps, like you and I've got..love handles, but—"

"Oh, God," Blaine said, quickly. "Don't finish that sentence. Jesus. No—No. You're perfect. You don't have—God, Kurt. Love handles? You're freaking perfect, stop that, right now."

Kurt just watched him intently.

"I wasn't—I mean, maybe I compared us a little, but my thoughts were more along the lines of 'God, Blaine, you're short and dwarf-like and he's slender and swan-like and how in the name of God did you get so lucky to have him in your arms?'"

"You," Kurt told him, inching closer, "are gorgeous."

Blaine smiled as Kurt pressed a hot kiss to the side of his mouth. "You're beautiful," Blaine whispered against his lips.

Kurt pulled back a few inches, then lowered his mouth to Blaine's ear. Blaine swallowed hard as Kurt breathed his hot breath on his skin. His voice was low and thick and his hand was sliding south. "Blaine," he said, quietly and Blaine could only exhale in response. "Show me how beautiful you think I am."

Kurt didn't have to ask twice. Blaine pushed him gently until he was facing away from him. He rubbed his back as he pressed a hand to the back of Kurt's thigh, then pushed it forward, so that Kurt's knee was bent. He tilted it out a little, then reached down to find Kurt's opening. Kurt whined under his touch and Blaine placed warm kisses over his shoulder and across the back of his neck, as he brushed the pads of his fingers over Kurt's entrance, which was still a little sensitive and sore from the night before.

"Blaine," Kurt breathed. "Please find the lube."

Blaine muttered an 'okay', then kissed Kurt's shoulder once more and climbed off of the bed, cock aching by now. Blaine rooted through the suitcase again, thankful for the white light in the room. He heard Kurt moaning on the bed and promised him he'd be right back, but Kurt didn't stop.

Blaine cursed as he rummaged in the suitcase, through the clothes and the shoes and the bottles of hair product and then he found it, in a small, grey pocket. He grabbed the small bottle and climbed to his feet, turning back to face the bed.

Blaine dropped the bottle and his jaw at the same time.

"Oh, wow," he said, dazed. He bent and grabbed the bottle, then went back to the bed, eyes locked on Kurt, who was now on his hands and knees, ass high in the air, legs spread, while his fingers slipped in and out of his own opening. "God, Kurt, just—God."

Blaine moved closer and popped the bottle open, then squeezed some over Kurt's hand. He watched as Kurt shivered at the cool liquid, but he didn't slow his movements, only brushed his fingers over the lube and continued to finger himself open for Blaine.

"That's it, baby," he said, squeezing some cold lube into the palm of his own hand. He rubbed it over his own cock and kept watching Kurt. "Open yourself up for me. God, you're so fucking hot."

Kurt was whining as he pushed his hips back to press himself down over his own fingers and Blaine watched in amazement.

"Kurt, crook your finger, baby."

Kurt did just that and he cried out as he hit his own prostate and Blaine almost came. He did it again and again and Blaine forced himself to keep his eyes open, because holy hell, this was obscene in the best possible way.

"Blaine," Kurt was panting, fingers slowing slightly. "Come on, Blaine. I'm ready."

"How do you want me?" Blaine asked.

"Um," Kurt hummed. "On your back."

Blaine lay down instantly, Kurt's words going straight to his cock, because that could only mean..

Kurt was climbing over him, settling with his legs on either side of his body. He reached back and took Blaine's erection in his hand, fingers squeezing gently, then lined it up with his stretched, wet opening.

"Fuck, Kurt."

Kurt eased himself down over Blaine, his head flung back, pale neck bare and beautiful. His eyes were shut and he looked a little pained as he pushed himself further down, until he was full of Blaine's cock. Blaine made a mental note to ogle Kurt in his sleep more often.

Kurt stayed still for a while. He opened his eyes and looked down at Blaine.

"Okay, gorgeous?" Blaine managed.

"Mmm," was Kurt's answer.

Blaine caressed his thigh with one hand and the curve of his hip with the other. "How did I get so lucky?" he asked.

"Love you," Kurt told him, placing a warm hand on Blaine's chest, just over his heart.

Blaine slid his hand around and gave Kurt's left buttcheek a small squeeze and Kurt moaned. "Sorry," Blaine said, rubbing over where he'd pinched.

He needed him fuller, needed to be all the way inside him. Blaine took Kurt's buttcheeks in either hand and pulled them apart and Kurt ground himself down until he was completely full.

"Shh," Blaine said, quietly, taking Kurt's hand. "Sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm sorry."

"You didn't—I'm okay," Kurt assured him, squeezing his hand. "Just need a minute."

"Take all the minutes you want," Blaine said, though in reality, he wasn't sure how many more minutes he was going to last.

He reached out and took Kurt's throbbing cock in his hand and pumped on it a couple of times. Kurt choked out a moan, "Blaine."

Blaine reached up and pushed Kurt's sweating hair away from his forehead. "You're so beautiful," he told him again.

"Gonna move, okay?"

"Okay," Blaine inhaled.

Kurt lifted himself up and then pushed back down and he cried out and Blaine had to shut his eyes at the feeling of him tight and warm around him. Kurt repeated the movement a few times, crying out in pain every time. After a few more lifts, Blaine looked up at him and saw the tears slipping out of the sides of his eyes. Kurt raised his hips again and Blaine reached out and caught them. Kurt looked down at him, questioningly.

"Stop," Blaine said, softly.

"What? Blaine, I—"

"Kurt," he said, firmly. "Off."

"What?"

"Just.. We're not doing this. I'm not going to hurt you. Come on," he gave the side of Kurt's thigh a gentle pat, "climb off."

Kurt climbed off, wincing, then kneeled next to Blaine. Blaine reached up and pressed the back of his hand to his cheek, smiling. He wiped his tears away.

"You're too sensitive from last night," Blaine said. "Come on, lie down with me."

"But I—" Kurt glanced down at Blaine's erection.

"It's fine," he assured him. "Definitely not worth hurting you."

"I would have gotten used to it, Blaine. I.." Naked panic spread across Kurt's face. "Oh, God. Has this got something to do with how you were looking at me when I woke up? Is there something.. I mean, I don't care if there is, because screw you, this is my body and if you don't like it you can go to—but...you're just realising you don't like it now?"

"Realising I don't like.. Whoa. No." Blaine sat up and took Kurt's hands. "Jesus. You're perfect. It wasn't—Kurt. I just don't want to make you cry. I'm so turned on by you. How could I not be? You're beautiful. You are. Perfect. Everything about you. I swear, it wasn't anything like that."

Kurt didn't look convinced. He looked sort of mad.

"I still want to.. We have to do this my way, though. I won't hurt you."

"What?" Kurt asked, confused.

"Here," Blaine said, pushing him back against the pillows. He slipped one under Kurt's back, then went and settled between his legs. "I'll make love to you. Nothing too crazy. You're.. Last night was amazing and you're obviously still in, um, pain, so.." Blaine nodded and inched forward.

Kurt's eyes were downcast. Blaine stilled.

"Hey," he said. He reached out and brushed Kurt's hair back again. "What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry," Kurt told him. "I just.. You were looking at me with this..this frown, when I woke up and I guess I just jumped to conclusions. I thought you.. But you weren't. and... Let's face it, I'm pretty hot."

Blaine grinned at Kurt's smirk. "Agreed," Blaine told him. "Still want to do this?"

"Put it in."

Blaine scoffed. "Eloquence was always your best trait."

Blaine dismissed the jokes and pushed gently inside and he made love to him, slowly, carefully, lovingly, holding onto him so that he didn't break and Kurt clung to him, held onto him like he was afraid of him getting away. They made it last a long time and Kurt moaned and whined and Blaine whimpered against his body and they came within seconds of one another and Blaine held onto him, told him over and over that he was beautiful and Kurt told him he loved him.

They showered together and straightened out the room, changed the sheets and made sure everything was fresh and clean and only then did Blaine pull Kurt aside, ready to tell him the truth.

"So, your mom.. You think she's coming round? Maybe?"

Blaine shook his head, unsure. "I have no idea. I thought so at the time, but when I think back, I don't see it happening."

Kurt nodded and thought for a moment. He slipped onto his side and looked at Blaine. "What about this aunt of yours?"

"I don't know," Blaine told him. "I can't.. I don't know."

Blaine sat up and inched back against the headboard, so Kurt sat up, too and looked at him. After a long silence, Blaine turned and looked at Kurt.

"You still willing to listen?"

"Always."

"Okay," Blaine said, with a nod. "First off, I love you. You know that, right? That I love you?"

"Of course," Kurt said. The way Blaine looked at him made him feel a bit sick. What was wrong? "Blaine?"

Blaine ran his fingers through his loose curls and sighed. "Okay," he said, quietly. "I want you to know that I know that you love me every bit as much as I love you. And that's a lot, right? We love each other a lot?"

"You're scaring me now," Kurt admitted, heart beat speeding up. His mind was creating scenarios, scary, unwanted scenarios. "Blaine. Babe. What is it?"

Blaine must have seen the look on his face, because he let his mouth drop a little, then sat up straight and leaned across and took Kurt's hand. "Hey, no. It's nothing you need to be afraid of." He smiled a bit and squeezed Kurt's hand. "Sorry. I never phrase things properly. Sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you."

"What is it?" Kurt asked, feeling a bit more relieved.

"You love me," Blaine said. Kurt nodded instantly. "So why, then, doesn't that feel enough? Why do I feel as if something is missing?"

Blaine shut his eyes and covered his face with his hands, because he couldn't look at him, couldn't see the hurt in his eyes. Kurt didn't say a word and Blaine felt awful, like his insides were churning and freezing and aching and it hurt him so much that he had hurt Kurt.

He felt a warm hand coming down on his upper arm and then his hands were being pulled down from his face.

"Baby," Kurt said, softly. "Come on, stop. Look at me."

Blaine kept his head bowed. He felt sick. Kurt sighed and gave up.

"I don't get it," he told Blaine. "Why are you so upset?"

Blaine looked up, slowly. How could Kurt be so calm?

"I just told you your love isn't enough," Blaine said, bewildered.

Kurt smiled and rolled his eyes. "You're ridiculous," he told Blaine. "I understand, Blaine."

Blaine himself didn't understand. He hoped Kurt could explain it to him. "I don't understand," he admitted. "I've felt so awful. I look at you and I ask myself how you're not enough for me. I'm an awful boyfriend."

"Blaine," Kurt said, entwining their fingers together. "I love you to pieces, okay? But if, for whatever reason, my dad and I had a falling out, I'd feel a little empty, too. It doesn't make you a bad boyfriend, you idiot. It makes you human. Stop beating yourself up over this."

Blaine's head hurt. "You're going to have to simplify that for me, because I feel dizzy."

Kurt gave him a sad smile, then pushed him back gently and looked down at him. "Listen," he said. "You've been being strong for as long as I've known you. It's okay that it hurts, Blaine. They're your parents. You have a want in you and that's okay. It doesn't mean you don't love me. In fact, this isn't about me at all."

Blaine blinked up at him and he let it run around in his head for a while. He felt better, knowing that Kurt had figured him out. He could always rely on Kurt to work out his problems, even when he couldn't work them out himself.

"What do I do?" he asked, finally.

"Well," Kurt began, "do you want to go see your aunt on Sunday?"

Blaine was unsure. "I don't know. It doesn't feel right. Maybe I'm just being stupid.."

"If you felt something was off it probably was," Kurt assured him. "Don't go if you're not completely comfortable. You can't let this lift your hopes if it's going to turn out badly."

"But what if it doesn't?" Blaine asked.

Kurt sighed. "I don't know what to tell you."

"Why does everything have to be so hard?"

Blaine closed his eyes and just breathed for a while. After a long silence, Kurt bent and kissed his lips. Blaine opened his eyes.

"I'll go see her," he told Blaine. "Or maybe I won't."

"Um." Blaine blinked. "What?"

"You give me her address," Kurt explained. "And maybe I'll go see her, maybe I won't. Either way you won't know. If I go and it's awful, I won't tell you and you won't know either way. If I go and she's genuine, I'll let you know."

Blaine thought about. "Okay, so," he began, carefully, "I won't know if you went?"

"Right," Kurt said. "I know it's not the greatest idea ever, but it's something. What do you think?"

Blaine considered it. "Okay," he said. "Yeah. Thank you."

Kurt waved a hand, dismissing Blaine's 'thank you'. "Listen to me, okay?" he said, cyan eyes locked on Blaine. "Don't make yourself feel bad because you need something I can't give you. They aren't the same kind of love, Blaine. It's going to take you a while to get used to the idea of them not being in your life. I know the past year or so has been okay, but you haven't stopped hurting. I know that. Give it time. Maybe your mom will come round. Maybe your aunt Fiona is genuine. We'll wait and see. Until then, you just tell me what you're feeling and I'll help you as best as I can. Deal?"

Blaine smiled and his heart swelled in his chest. He had the best boyfriend ever. "Deal," he affirmed. "I love you, Kurt. It hurt me so much that I wasn't totally happy even when I had you. That's part of the reason I was looking at you like I was this morning. I was trying to make myself see that I couldn't ask for more, because I had it all. I have you and you're so perfect and amazing and.. I guess that's part of the reason I did it."

"What's the other part?" Kurt asked, smirking. "Because you're a perv?"

Blaine chuckled. "Probably," he told him.

Kurt laughed and took his hand. "Come on," he said, pulling him up gently. "Let's go make dinner. I bet Finn is starving and too afraid to come down here in case we've got no clothes on."

Blaine allowed Kurt to pull him to his feet. He watched as Kurt tweaked his hair in the mirror. After a while, he turned and looked at him.

"You feel better, right?" he asked. "At least a little?"

Blaine nodded. "Yes," he told him. "I feel sort of relieved that you understood."

"Good," Kurt beamed. He walked towards the stairs and stepped up onto the first step and flinched. "Ouch," he said. "I forgot about that."

Blaine gave him a slow smile.

"Is that your way of telling me I'm a pain in the ass?"

Kurt waited until Finn and Blaine were watching a football game to call Burt. He needed guidance, someone who would give him their absolute, honest opinion and that person would always be Kurt's dad.

Burt picked up on the third ring. "Kurt?"

"Hi, dad," Kurt said, happily. "Having fun?"

Burt filled Kurt in on their trip. He told him about the hotel and the food and the people and the crazy guy at the reception desk who kept calling Carole 'Louise'. Kurt laughed and was glad to hear his dad was having a good time. When Burt asked how they were getting on, Kurt told him about Blaine and the issue with his family.

"Do you think it's a bad idea for me to go see this aunt of his?" Kurt asked.

"Huh, I don't know, Kurt. You don't think it'd be better for both of you to go together?"

"I'm scared for him, dad," Kurt admitted. "He's fragile right now. What if it makes things worse?"

"You willin' to go see this aunt?"

"If it'll help, yes," Kurt told Burt.

"Well, what have you got to lose?"

Kurt thought about it. "Nothing, I guess. You think I should do it?"

"Can't hurt, right?"

That was true. And if it all went wrong, what Blaine didn't know couldn't hurt him, right?

Kurt pulled up to the house and parked in the driveway, trying to figure out the best way to approach this. He had told Blaine he was collecting parts for his dad, for when he got back to the garage and Blaine had believed him, because they didn't lie to each other. Kurt felt this lie was acceptable, because it was to help Blaine.

He waited a few minutes, then got out of his car and knocked on the door. The house was of average size. It looked relatively normal on the outside, nothing special. Finally, the door opened and a woman stood there. She looked a lot like Blaine's mom, but taller and her hair was shorter.

"Hi," Kurt said. "Fiona?"

She nodded.

"Um, I'm Kurt Hummel. I'm Blaine's boyfriend?"

Kurt couldn't tell what she was thinking from her expression.

She looked behind him. "Is Blaine here?"

"No," Kurt informed her. "I was wondering if I could talk to you? About Blaine? He's fine," he added, quickly. "It's just—I need to just...make sure he stays fine."

Fiona nodded and allowed Kurt inside. The inside of the house was boring, too. It was dull and Kurt grimaced at the awful decor. Did Blaine really belong to this family?

He followed her into the living room and sat down where she gestured. Fiona sat, too.

"What can I do for you?" she asked, flatly.

"Blaine is having a hard time with how his parents feel about..everything," Kurt explained. "I need to know that you're sincere in wanting to be a part of his life, otherwise, he's just going to get hurt again and I can't see him hurt."

Fiona blinked at him with her dark, honey coloured eyes. "What are you asking?"

Kurt considered this. "I need to know how you feel about him being gay."

She was quiet for a long time and Kurt was beginning to think going there had been a terrible idea. Before he could declare that he was leaving, Fiona spoke.

"The way we were raised," she began and Kurt knew it could only go downhill. "We.. It's not how things are supposed to be. But my brother, Ernie.." She paused and looked conflicted. "He's married to a woman, but when we were younger.. He claimed he was in love with his class president. Our parents snapped him out of it, but.. I'm just not sure Ernie is...well. Straight."

Kurt didn't say anything, because he wasn't sure where this was going.

"Blaine is doing what Ernie didn't. Ernie ran and followed the path he was expected to. I just wonder if it would be easier for Blaine to do the same, but part of me wants to make it right.."

"So," Kurt said, carefully, "you're trying with Blaine, because you feel bad that you..didn't try with your brother?"

"I suppose."

"But.." He paused. "You still think that being..that being gay is..wrong?"

"It isn't right," she told him. "But Ernie is unhappy. He always has been."

Kurt was quiet for a few heartbeats. He thought hard. "You're doing this for all the wrong reasons," he told her. "You can't let him think you're accepting him if the only reason you're interacting with him is to make yourself feel better because you see how unhappy your brother is. Telling Blaine you understand why he's chosen not to fight who he is doesn't compensate for the fact that you believe your brother chose the path that was the most sensible. You see he's unhappy, yet you think he did what was best. If you use Blaine to make up for that, it won't make a difference. Your brother will be in the same position as he's in now."

Blaine didn't need an environment like this. His aunt wasn't doing this for Blaine, she was doing it for herself. Kurt stood up.

"I won't tell him I was here," he told her. "I just don't think it's a good idea for him to hear you saying that when he is the way he is. He needs time to learn to live with how his parents reacted. He can't have another disappointment."

Fiona didn't say anything, just looked down at her (awful) shoes. Kurt sighed and wished Blaine could catch a break. He waited another moment and when she said no more, Kurt left.

Blaine finished cleaning up after Finn and then sat and watched 'Hoarders' in the living room. During the commercials, his phone rang and he thought it must be Kurt, or perhaps Santana calling to tell him about her encounter with Brittany.

"Hello?"

"Blaine?"

Blaine dropped his phone.

Kurt opened the front door and found Blaine watching TV. He didn't seem to be paying attention to what was actually occurring on screen, he looked a little preoccupied.

"You okay?" Kurt asked, sitting down beside him.

Blaine looked up at him with those copper penny eyes and shook his head, a little dazed.

"My mom just called," he told Kurt. "She... Um.. She wants to meet us tomorrow."