Mike Chang: The Expendables 2 – most epic action movie this year!

~Finn Hudson and 6 others like this.

Blaine Anderson: Since Kurt's not online right now, I wish I went with you guys. I sat through the same 2 hours of Dreamgirls that I got 6 years ago. Out of all the musicals I watch, Sparkle's got to be one of the worst.

Noah Puckerman: You are Hummel's bitch. He puts on the puppy dog look and you just melt. You sucker.

Blaine Anderson: I know! There's something about it…

~Kurt Hummel has logged on.

Kurt Hummel: Blaine, what is this with your status?

Sam Evans: Uh-oh.

Blaine Anderson: Kurt, honey…

Kurt Hummel: You and me, we need to talk.

Noah Puckerman: Like I said, Anderson, you poor bastard.

Santana Lopez: Hobbit's gettin' whipped.

Joel Richardson: When a good time turns around, you must whip it. You will never live it down unless you whip it. No one gets away until they whip it.

~Noah Puckerman, Santana Lopez, and 12 others like this.

Blaine Anderson: Shut up, Joel.

Kurt Hummel: Blaine Everett Anderson, you are in no position to tell anyone to shut up. Now be a good boyfriend and fetch my Twilight books.

~Blaine Anderson has logged off.

Joel Richardson: *sniggering*

Nick Duval: Oh no, Blaine, he's going to make you read them to him!

Jeff Sterling: Kurt, you have to record that!

!

A few hours later…

~Kurt Hummel posted a video.

~~Kurt (as Bella): You're going to stay away from her.

~~Blaine (as Jacob): I can't do that!

~~Kurt: Try. Starting now.

~~Blaine: It's not possible. Do you remember how much you wanted me around three days ago? How hard it was to be apart from each other? That's gone for you now, isn't it?

~~Blaine (in normal voice): Bella glared, not sure what he was implying.

~~Blaine (as Jacob): That was her, from the very beginning. We had to be together, even then.

~~Kurt (in monologue): I remembered, and then I understood; a tiny part of me was relieved to have the madness explained. But that relief somehow only made me angrier. Was he expecting that to be enough for me? That one little clarification would make me okay with this?

~~Kurt (as Bella): Run away while you still can.

~~Blaine (as Jacob): C'mon, Bells! Nessie likes me too!

~~Kurt (in monologue): I froze, my breathing stopped. Behind me, I heard the lack of sound that was their anxious reaction.

~~Kurt (as Bella): What…did you call her?

~~Blaine (as Jacob): Well, that name you came up with is kind of a mouthful and—

~~Kurt (as Bella): You nicknamed my daughter after the Loch Ness Monster?

~~Kurt (in monologue): And then I lunged for his throat.

Nick Duval: Blaine, I feel your pain. When Jeff thought I was cheating on him, he made me do the same thing…except it wasn't recorded.

Blaine Anderson: Thanks, Nick. That makes me feel better.

Kurt Hummel: Don't complain, Blainers. You sounded like you were having fun.

Santana Lopez: I am so saving that to my computer.

~32 people like this.

Sebastian Smythe: Damn, I never thought I'd say this, but Blaine, I feel so bad for you.

Blaine Anderson: Never thought I'd say this, thank you, Sebastian.

Kurt Hummel: And how many times have I told you not to talk to him?

Sebastian Smythe: Hummel, I'm trying to be a nice guy.

Kurt Hummel: Like that's ever going to happen.

Santana Lopez: Those two are my best gays; so Fievel, you stay the hell away from them.

Sebastian Smythe: Bite me, Shqueera.

Dan Milstead: Ooh, girl fight!

Sebastian Smythe: Shut your trap, weirdo.

Blaine Anderson: Like I said, not even one day…