Harry Freakin' Potter: Everybody, I have an announcement to make. Is everyone logged on?

~Kurt Hummel-Anderson and 30 others like this.

Harry Freakin' Potter: Good, now this may sound weird and it may sound like I'm crazy, but it's true.

Kurt Hummel-Anderson: What is it?

Harry Freakin' Potter: I don't know why this is so hard for me. Just remember that I love you all.

Blaine Anderson-Hummel: What is it?

Harry Freakin' Potter: Remember all those times I said I watch TV and you guys are on it?

Facebook: …

Harry Freakin' Potter: Okay, I'll just say it: None of you are real.

Finn Hudson: What are you saying?

Harry Freakin' Potter: None of you actually exist or belong to me for that matter, well, except for Joel, Dean, Luke, Sebastian's alter ego Warren, Nate, Kyle, and Dan, you're all of my creation. You're all based on me in some way, like Dan; all of your bullshit is based on my sarcastic side.

Dan Milstead: Really? I'm all your snarky comments?

Harry Freakin' Potter: Yes.

Dean Easton: Wait a minute, so everything Sam told me that that meerkat-faced kid did to Rory, did you make that up?

Harry Freakin' Potter: Yes.

Dean Easton: Damn, if I wasn't a figment of your imagination, I'd beat the crap out of you.

Warren Rhodes-Richardson: So, in retrospect, I'm not married? Because Joel is not actually on the show where I come from?

Harry Freakin' Potter: Seeing it like that, yes, you are still single. Everyone else, anything any of you did with Joel, Dean, Luke, Nate, Kyle, or Dan never actually happened, so Blaine is Kurt's first boyfriend; Nick, you do not have an older brother, nor is your last name actually Duval; Jeff, your last name isn't Sterling. Those I actually don't know how got started; I just jumped on the wagon. My name obviously isn't Harry Freakin' Potter, it's really Evan, and because this is still the Internet, my last name will remain clandestine. I'm just a cynical 20-year-old fanfiction writer who loves Glee, the show of which the rest of you originate.

Nick Duval-Sterling: Everything that happened here is a lie?

Harry Freakin' Potter: Some of it happened on the show, but Nick and Jeff, you guys only showed up until Regionals, everything following that with you guys, it's all false. But because I love you two so damn much I keep writing for you. A lot of my stories focus on you two and how you love each other. I'm a slash writer, which means I write same-sex pairings. Most of the OC's (original characters) were created as fillers that became hits, like Joel, you were created in the third Sam/Rory fic because I didn't know how to continue. I needed someone who could screw with Sebastian, which is why I created this whole alter ego for him, the whole Warren Damien Rhodes thing.

Warren Rhodes-Richardson: This isn't my real name?

Harry Freakin' Potter: No.

!

Warren Rhodes-Richardson changed his name to Sebastian Smythe.

!

Rachel Hudson: What's going on?

Santana Lopez-Pierce: According to that guy none of us recognize, we're not real; in fact, half of us are characters he made up.

Harry Freakin' Potter: Like I said, only Joel, Dean, Luke, Kyle, Dan, and Nate are mine. The rest of you belong to RIB: Ryan Murphy, Ian Brennan, and Brad Falchuk, the creators of the TV series Glee.

Sebastian Smythe: You know what? Prove you control us on here. Please prove it.

Harry Freakin' Potter: You really want me to prove it?

Everyone on Facebook: YES!

Harry Freakin' Potter: Okay.

~Kurt Hummel-Anderson, Blaine Anderson-Hummel, Sebastian Smythe, Finn Hudson, Rachel Hudson, Brittany Pierce-Lopez, Santana Lopez-Pierce, Tina Cohen-Chang, Mike Chang, Noah Puckerman, Quinn Fabray, Artie Abrams, Mercedes Jones-Evans, Sam Evans, Rory Flanagan, Joe Hart, Wade Adams, Sugar Motta, Rick "The Stick" Nelson, Missy Gunderson, Will Schuester, Sue Sylvester, Shannon Beiste, Roz Washington, Figgins, Burt Hummel, Jesse St. James, Nick Duval-Sterling, Jeff Sterling-Duval, Thad Harwood, Wes Montgomery, David Thompson, Trent Nixon, David Karofsky, Chandler Kiehl, Cooper Anderson, Dean Easton, Joel Richardson-Rhodes, Lukas Graham, Nathan Duval, Dan Milstead, and Kyle Travis have deactivated their accounts.

Harry Freakin' Potter: And that's why it's called control.