Sam Evans: Currently being tended to by Mercedes after Kurt came over.

Joel Richardson-Rhodes: How much damage was done?

Mercedes Jones-Evans: Just a few bruises.

Kurt Hummel-Anderson: Sam, I'm sorry, but next time, tell me before you have cameras come into my house.

Sam Evans: I'm sorry, Kurt.

Kurt Hummel-Anderson: Apology accepted.

Rachel Hudson: Why did no one invite me?

Sam Evans: We tried to, but the mail system's been screwed up.

Rachel Hudson: Sam, you know that's a lie! I've been getting mail from my dads and nothing from all of you. What great friends you are! Kurt, I'm buying something from Tiffany's and I'll be right there!

~Rachel Hudson has logged off.

!

Rory Flanagan: Who saw the new Spider-Man? I'm broke so I can't go.

Sam Evans: I did, and you're coming with me when I see it again tomorrow.

~Rory Flanagan likes this.

Santana Lopez-Pierce: Brittz and I are going tomorrow too. I heard that redhead chick from Zombieland is in it. Doesn't she go blonde for this one?

Blaine Anderson-Hummel: Yeah, she does. She's hot.

Kurt Hummel-Anderson: *glares*

Blaine Anderson-Hummel: You know I'm 100% gay.

Kurt Hummel-Anderson: If you "are", you wouldn't say things like that.

Harry Freakin' Potter: LMS if you remember the days when Kurt wasn't so irrational.

~Blaine Anderson-Hummel and 34 others like this.

Kurt Hummel-Anderson: BLAINE!

Joel Richardson-Rhodes: Ooh, Blaine's in trouble now.

Blaine Anderson-Hummel: Shut up, Joel.

Tina Cohen-Chang: Kurt, why are you so uptight right now?

Kurt Hummel-Anderson: What with Sam, my 16th, and my so-called-100%-gay boyfriend, typical stress.

!

Harry Freakin' Potter: I love stirring things up on here.

Warren Rhodes-Richardson: Same here.

Harry Freakin' Potter: Quiet, Sebastian, you're so stupid you do it in reality, therefore you get screwed over. And you deserve it anyway.

Warren Rhodes-Richardson: Not every time.

Kurt Hummel-Anderson: As much as I don't care much for either of you, it is true, Sebastian, you always deserve it. Number 1: Hitting on my boyfriend while I sat right there. Number 2: You threw that blinding slushie because you're a douchebag. Number 3: Threatening to post Photoshopped pictures of my stepbrother in exchange for Rachel to drop out of Regionals which, even if she wasn't there, we would've won anyway.

Nick Duval-Sterling: Not to mention trying to mess up me and Jeff by masquerading as a woman.

Nathan Duval: Nicky, what did that little bastard do?

Nick Duval-Sterling: Nate, I know you're in your overprotective big brother mode, but as you can see, Jeff and I are still together.

Kurt Hummel-Anderson: Sebastian did what? You guys gotta tell me about that later, but bonus point. Number 5: More recently, telling the TV cameras that I am, and I quote, "a whiny bitch".

Warren Rhodes-Richardson: I apologized for that last one.

Kurt Hummel-Anderson: Doesn't mean it didn't happen.

!

Rachel Hudson: KURT! I just turned on MTV and I saw that smirky meerkat face saying that you're a whiny bitch. I'm going to break his face!

Joel Richardson-Rhodes: And she couldn't have followed this on here.

Kurt Hummel-Anderson: Sebastian, can I just say you have done a marvelous job? You have managed to piss off all of my friends in 9 months. And for the record, Rachel is the one you do not want to piss off, but you've done it, so I will stand by the side as she kicks your ass.

Warren Rhodes-Richardson: I gotta go.

Joel Richardson-Rhodes: Warren, you are not going anywhere. Face your punishment like a man, although your equipment isn't very manly.

~104 people like this.

Mike Chang: I think one person has beaten Sebastian in that record.

Kurt Hummel-Anderson: Oh yeah, Sebastian, sorry, but you're in 2nd.

Joel Richardson-Rhodes: Who's first?

Jesse St. James: It's me, isn't it?

Kurt Hummel-Anderson: Bingo!

Jesse St. James: Hey, at least I didn't do a bunch of awful things to you guys.

Kyle Travis: Well, there was the egg he almost cracked on Rachel's head.

Noah Puckerman: Weren't you the dude that took it for her?

Kyle Travis: Yep, and I'd do it again!

Rachel Hudson: Aw, Kyle, I still love you for that.

Kyle Travis: As much as girls love me for saving them, I'm still gay.

Kurt Hummel-Anderson: Where have you been, Kyle?

Kyle Travis: I was a one-off character. Apparently, I got replaced by that asshole Dan.

Dan Milstead: I resent that.

Kurt Hummel-Anderson: Yeah, well, too bad. As memory serves, Kyle was a nice guy.

!

Harry Freakin' Potter: I came up with an award. Okay, I actually stole it from a movie, but that's beside the point. The winner is Sebastian Smythe!

Warren Rhodes-Richardson: Me?

Harry Freakin' Potter: Yes, you.

Kurt Hummel-Anderson: Who in their right mind would give an award to that smirky bastard?

Warren Rhodes-Richardson: I can't help the fact that I'm so attractive.

Kurt Hummel-Anderson: *snorts*

Harry Freakin' Potter: Yes, the Douchebag of the Year Award goes to Sebastian Smythe.

Kurt Hummel-Anderson: *starts laughing hysterically*

Joel Richardson-Rhodes: We'll put it up in the living room.

Warren Rhodes-Richardson: JOEL!

Joel Richardson-Rhodes: Oh look, the paparazzi's here! Shit, it's the TMZ people. Don't open the door!

Rory Flanagan: That guy who plays the new Spider-Man, he's hot.

Dean Easton: Yeah, he is. And that scene during the credits was creepy. I thought the guy was Norman Osborn, or at least a shadow or something.

Sam Evans: Hey, it means we get another movie.

Joel Richardson-Rhodes: According to the internet, it comes out May 2, 2014.

Sam Evans: That sucks, but waits like that usually mean that the sequel will be even more awesome. Like James Cameron shooting 2 Avatar sequels back-to-back.

Joel Richardson-Rhodes: I think we're going to take a road trip to LA, Warren.

Warren Rhodes-Richardson: Is James Cameron the one you're after?

Joel Richardson-Rhodes: No, but he needs to go down before Titanic 2 gets made.

Sugar Motta: I love Titanic!

Joel Richardson-Rhodes: Oh God.

!

Kurt Hummel-Anderson: I just passed your place, Joel. TMZ is still outside.

Joel Richardson-Rhodes: Damn. Come on, Warren, we're going through the back. I need a drink.

Blaine Anderson-Hummel: You're too young to drink.

Joel Richardson-Rhodes: Quiet, Blaine, I need this. Another good thing about being married to Warren: you get a fake ID. Besides, you're one to talk. You got drunk the night he asked you two to the gay bar.

Blaine Anderson-Hummel: It was a mistake.

Joel Richardson-Rhodes: I am a steady drunk, much unlike you and your friends. I found a video of a house party from a few years ago. You seemed pretty cuddly with Rachel.

Rachel Hudson: WHO PUT THAT UP?

~Harry Freakin' Potter has logged off.

Noah Puckerman: California boy's in trouble.