Chandler Kiehl is now friends with Kurt Hummel-Anderson.

!

Joe Hart is now friends with Quinn Fabray, Brittany Pierce, and 15 others.

!

Chandler Kiehl: HI KURT!!!!

Kurt Hummel-Anderson: Hi Chandler.

Chandler Kiehl: Hummel-Anderson?

Kurt Hummel-Anderson: Oh yeah, I have a boyfriend.

Blaine Anderson-Hummel: And here I am. Kurt, who is this?

Kurt Hummel-Anderson: Blaine, this is Chandler. I met him at the music store.

Chandler Kiehl: OMG, Kurt is like SOOOO talented. Well, I haven't heard him sing, but I bet he's super talented. Kurt, can you send me a voice message with you singing? It can be my ringtone. I'll be waiting… brb.

Blaine Anderson-Hummel: Kurt, what the HELL was that?

Kurt Hummel-Anderson: He's harmless; besides let's not forget who said that about a certain meerkat-faced someone who almost blinded you.

Warren Rhodes-Richardson: Hey, I apologized for that.

Kurt Hummel-Anderson: Took you long enough.

Chandler Kiehl: I'm back. What happened? Who's Warren? Hi.

Kurt Hummel-Anderson: This guy from Blaine's old school started hitting on him while he was with me, and it all went downhill from there. We'll leave it at that.

Sam Evans: And you don't want to know all the other things he did.

Chandler Kiehl: I do. What'd he do? I'm all interested now.

Sam Evans: Well, he's married for one thing…to a crazy person.

Joel Richardson-Rhodes: I am NOT crazy, just unstable.

Rory Flanagan: He did stuff to me… :'(

Dean Easton: What happened all this time I was gone?

Sam Evans: Get into chat, Dean, and I'll fill you in.

!

Private messaging between Sam Evans and Dean Easton:

Dean Easton: Sam, tell me what the meerkat-faced boy did to Rory.

Sam Evans: Okay, let's see. Rory admitted he had feelings for me and kissed me. I didn't respond, so he accepted a date from this guy we met at the Lima Bean the next day. I followed him there after getting a call from Kurt, who told me that the guy is a slutpig.

Dean Easton: Slutpig?

Sam Evans: Mm-hmm. Anyway, when I got there, the guy was trying to force himself onto Rory. I got down there and punched him. I took Rory home and we went to sleep. The next day, the psycho slutpig rapes poor Rory in a bathroom and I wrestle a confession out of him…

!

Meanwhile, on the Wall…

Rachel Hudson: I'm bored.

Finn Hudson: I love you.

~Rachel Hudson likes this.

Mercedes Jones: You're bored? Shouldn't you be practicing for that audition you keep going on about?

Rachel Hudson: I'm doing "Don't Rain on My Parade", case closed. I've been singing that song since I was 2 years old.

Chandler Kiehl: O_O

Kurt Hummel-Anderson: I'm thinking of "The Music of the Night". Although I think "Not the Boy Next Door" would be riskier, it seems like a good risk.

Sugar Motta: Didn't Hugh Jackman win a Tony for that musical?

Kurt Hummel-Anderson: Yep, totally deserved it.

~Chandler Kiehl likes this.

!

Sue Sylvester: Black Sue, Wavy Gravy, we have a situation on our hands.

Will Schuester: What's going on?

Sue Sylvester: Domestic violence has struck McKinley High.

Emma Pillsbury: Let me get the pamphlets. Here's Did I Really Fall on the Bus and Hit My Eye on the Stairwell?

Roz Washington: Are you sure you're a licensed guidance counselor?

~Sue Sylvester likes this.

Shannon Beiste: The punching bag came back and struck me, I swear.

Emma Pillsbury: Shannon, you know that none of us are friends with the kids, so you can tell us anything.

Sue Sylvester: Everything you say here will not be repeated elsewhere.

Shannon Beiste: Cooter asked me to do the dishes. I told him I'd do it, but I forgot. One night, and I could tell he had had a few drinks; he got so angry and hit me. But he was so sorry afterwards.

Roz Washington: Have you left the house?

Shannon Beiste: I'm staying with my sister Denise.

Will Schuester: If you need to tell us any more, we'll be here.

!

Kurt Hummel-Anderson: So I did "Not the Boy Next Door" and Carmen Tibideaux LOVED it!

~Blaine Anderson-Hummel, Chandler Kiehl, and Jesse St. James like this.

Jesse St. James: She's all kinds of awesome.

Kurt Hummel-Anderson: That is the first non-annoying thing you've said in a long time.

Rachel Hudson: Please don't talk about NYADA.

Jesse St. James: What happened, Rachel?

Kurt Hummel-Anderson: *whispers* She choked on "Don't Rain on My Parade".

Jesse St. James: *cyberhugs Rachel*

Rachel Hudson: Thank you, Jesse.

!

Nick Duval-Sterling: Jeffy and I are back!

~Jeff Sterling-Duval likes this.

Thad Harwood: And so we're back to getting the crap annoyed out of us.

Wes Montgomery: The quiet was nice while it lasted.

Jeff Sterling-Duval: *singing* In Thneedville, it's a brand-new dawn!

Nick Duval-Sterling: With brand-new cars and houses and lawns! Here in Got-All-That-We-Need-ville.

Jeff Sterling-Duval: In Thneedville, we manufacture our trees. Each one is made in factories.

Nick Duval-Sterling: And uses 96 batteries!

Kurt Hummel-Anderson: Nothing artificial? Damn, that sounds awful.

Joel Richardson-Rhodes: At least Dr. Seuss was making a point out of the shitty environment.

Tina Cohen-Chang: That movie is so cute!

~Mike Chang and 2 others like this.

!

Cooper Anderson: Okay, everyone, I am starting a new master acting class at the Lima community center. If you're one of Blainers' friends, you can join for free. Otherwise, it's $20 per session.

Jeff Sterling-Duval: Nicky, can we go?

Nick Duval-Sterling: Okay. Cooper, we're Warblers, but we swear to God we didn't know what Sebastian was doing.

Cooper Anderson: That's okay, guys. Join in.

Joe Hart: Count me in.

Blaine Anderson: Is this going to involve a lot of pointing? You know how much I hate it when you do that.

Cooper Anderson: It's called acting for a reason.

Chandler Kiehl: Wait, you're the guy from the Free Credit Rating Today commercial! OMG!

David Thompson: Re-cue the fangirl screams…

Chandler Kiehl: Sorry. When I get excited, I shout.

Joel Richardson-Rhodes: Would my hubby be murdered by you lot if we came?

Kurt Hummel-Anderson: As long as he keeps his eyes off my man, we'll be fine.

Blaine Anderson-Hummel: Coop, promise you won't go all Patrick Bateman on him, okay?

Cooper Anderson: I can only say I'll try.