Blaine Anderson, almost at the age of 25, was a very conflicted man. So many emotions and memories were whipping and whirling around in his head like leaves in the wind as he sat at the edge of his bed, watching the brunette curled up beside him sleep peacefully.

Looking down at the little black box in his hands, a sudden wave of guilt racked his body for the fifth time that morning. The sleeping brunette stirred in his sleep, sat up, and stretched. He smiled when he saw Blaine sitting adjacent to him, the sheet slipping further down his bare chest. Blaine returned the smile sadly, thinking back to the night before when he had proposed to the boy, Nathan.

*Flashback*

Nathan Levant was presently folding and putting away laundry in the little L.A. condo he shared with his steady boyfriend; Blaine Anderson. Blaine's birthday was in a few months, and Nathan greatly needed to finish up the painting he would give to him on that special day. A colourful picture of a day they had spent in Napa Valley, viewing the vineyards and beautiful hill like scenery, graced the medium-sized canvas that Nathan owned.

He sighed, content with his life with Blaine, but there always seemed to be something missing in the way Blaine looked at him, where there should've been love, there was only regret in his golden eyes.

Nathan came out of his ponderings when his hand met a small velvet box in one of Blaine's drawers. Curious, he pulled it out and paused, taking in what he had just found. Joy flowed through him as he slowly opened the box and was met with the most beautiful ring. It was a thin silver band with a small blue gem in the middle surrounded by two other small diamonds.

He sat down on the bed and held the box up closer to his face. He didn't hear the door open until a bang echoed through the room, he looked up quickly, but only to see Blaine standing there, his guitar case now at his feet.

Blaine stood there,frozen on the spot, and very alarmed. Nathan sat excitedly, looking up at him with such love filled eyes that Blaine had to look away from the guilt he was now feeling. He was sitting there holding the ring, Kurt's ring.The one Blaine had bought after graduation, it brought him great pain to see that ring again-the gems which he had personally picked to match Kurt's eyes-were now in the hands of his current lover, to whom if he didn't propose to, would surely leave him. Nathan was very much one that needed to be reassured when it came to his experiences of love.

When Blaine finally looked up, he crossed the room and took the ring box from Nathan, got down on one knee, and made a promise that he knew- somehow- felt so wrong.

"Really Blaine, hiding it in the sock drawer? I can't believe I didn't find it earlier!"

Blaine gave a dry laugh, "You're right, I-I just didn't know what else to do with it." It wasn't a complete lie, after the breakup, Blaine couldn't get rid of the ring, it symbolized too much; the passion, the fire. Although it had all been lost.

No, he couldn't think about that; it's been almost five years since then, and the man sitting in front of him now was his future. He did love him…just not the way he's known love to be before- complete. There's no going back now, but why does this feel so empty?

"So now that we're engaged, care to celebrate?" Nathan asked in a shy voice. Blaine only nodded and lowered him onto the bed, although he was still gripping tightly onto the black box.

*End of Flashback*

Nathan watched the hallow object in Blaine's hand with a confused look on his face, although he stayed silent; which made Blaine feel even worse about what he was going to do.

Nathan knew what this was about; he'd almost expected it sooner. He reluctantly got up to put on some clothes. Once he was seated again, Blaine drew a breath and started, "This isn't fair to you, you've always been there for me." He trailed off.

"Please Blaine, just get this over with." Nathan sighed dejectedly.

"I still love him Nathan; everyday I try, harder and harder to forget about him, but I can't." Blaine paused. "I wasn't lying to you, every time I told you I loved you, it's just-"

"You loved him more" Nathan finished.

"He was everything to me Nathan, and you helped me so much to get back into the dating routine, but it won't ever change anything, nothing will." His tone lowered, "I know I'm a horrible person to propose to you and then take it back but…" Blaine trailed off.

"I won't deny that it was horrible, but you're a good person, Blaine Anderson, and if you give him half the love that you gave me, then he is one lucky man- even though there always was something missing." They both stayed quiet for a moment and collected their thoughts as Nathan rose from the bed, slipped off the ring, and placed it in Blaine's hand. Blaine held it to his heart while Nathan melancholy walked out of the room, his head lowered in acceptance.

Blaine sat there in silence for a moment and then rose to start packing his belongings. He didn't know why, but he needed to find Kurt, he needed to fix the mistake he had made almost five years ago.

He would make this right, they needed each other, and he needed his muse again. Before he left the room, he took one last glance at the empty box on the dishevelled bed. He pulled the ring from his pocket, placed it gently in the box, and tentatively put the bundle in his carry-on bag. Blaine had a lot of planning to do, though he'd rather not try.

As Blaine left the bedroom, he saw Nathan curled up on the couch near the door. When Blaine neared the door, Nathan moved toward him, handed him his daily coffee and timidly kissed his cheek for the last time. "A kiss for good luck, like always, but this time don't come back." Nathan said sadly, although understanding was heavy in his voice.

Blaine looked at him, the broken boy he had met almost three years ago, had now turned into a put together young man with Blaine's help, only to be torn back down again; waiting for someone else to pick up the pieces and try to make him whole. When all your life you've been abandoned and broken, will you ever be whole again?

With one last look at the condo, Nathan, and the home they had built together, Blaine nodded and made his way out the door, leaving behind part of himself in the process. Once outside, he could hear Nathan's soft sobs behind the door, and with a parting look- continued on his way towards his desired stop; New York.

New York

Upon arriving, Blaine called his manager to book him a hotel and a cab. He needed to find Kurt, and what better person to call than Noah Puckerman? After his wonderful phone call consisting of a drunken Puck celebrating his and Quinn Fabrey's engagement, he was able to get Kurt's address and away he drove.

Blaine stopped, shocked, for a moment. What was he going to say to Kurt? What if Kurt turned him away? What if he hated him? What if- no- none of that mattered; he needed to explain everything to Kurt.

When he pulled into the driveway, Blaine tried to steady his heart which was beating three times faster than it should. He slid out of the car and approached the door, ringing the bell.

"Kurt!" Blaine exclaimed as the door opened, revealing a man who was most definitely not Kurt.

The taller man gave a nervous smile, Blaine wasn't going to lie, he was attractive; 6'2, dark honey coloured hair, and deep green eyes, ones too easy to get lost in. The man gave a great sigh and extended his hand, "Hi, I'm James Hummel-Walker, you must be Blaine Anderson". He said.