May 28, 2013, 7:40 a.m.
On My Heart
On My Heart, Just Like A Tattoo: Chapter 2
E - Words: 2,604 - Last Updated: May 28, 2013 Story: Complete - Chapters: 10/10 - Created: Jul 04, 2012 - Updated: May 28, 2013 1,244 0 6 0 0
Blaine frowned and shook his head, letting it hang low. Kendra let out a sympathetic noise and reached across to take his hand. She squeezed gently and poked Blaine’s chin until he looked her in the eye. “I don’t believe that,” she said firmly. Blaine sighed brokenly, “Well believe it, I haven’t seen hide nor tail of him since I woke up, and mom and dad claim he doesn’t exist. They even hid all of my pictures of him. All my pictures of my friends.” Kendra rolled her eyes, “Honestly Blaine, are you shocked? You’re parents aren’t exactly the most accepting. And I still don’t believe it. There has to be something going on here. That boy loved you more than anything. There’s no way he’s just gone.” Blaine sighed heavily, “Well he did.”
Kendra banged her fist on the table, then blushed at her behavior, “Sorry. Just. No. He...you weren’t there when he finally woke up and realized you were still in a coma. You didn’t see...” Kendra shook his head and Blaine frowned, “What do you mean when he finally woke up?” Kendra sighed, “You were attacked together. He wasn’t as bad off as you were. You...you...God Blaine you were such an idiot...you...you kept getting in the way of them hitting him. You kept trying to keep him safe.” Kendra’s eyes slid shut and a small tear trailed down her cheek. Blaine felt his heart clench, something about the sensation felt familiar. He shut his eyes and brief flashes of times when his heart had clenched before ran through his mind. But much like the strong feelings of happiness, they were indistinct and held no importance. He looked up at her, “I...I loved him didn’t I?” Kendra nodded solemnly, “You...when you were in Columbus... you...he...you two proposed to each other in my shop. It was silly. And you two acted like you weren’t seriously going to get married in a couple of weeks. But it was clear you were going to get married some day.” Blaine felt a tear run down his cheek at the loss of his love that he did know.
“Then where is he?” Blaine demanded. Kendra frowned, “I...I don’t know. I can’t imagine a single thing that would keep him from you if he knew you were awake.” Blaine let his breath escape as he repeated, “If he knew I was awake.” Kendra nodded, “If he knew you were awake.” They let the words hang in the air for a couple of minutes, when suddenly Kendra shot up and exclaimed, “THAT’S IT!” Her shouts earned her several turned heads, and she blushed, taking her seat again. Blaine looked at her warily, “What’s it?” Kendra rolled her eyes, “Do you think your parents would honestly be able to pretend like he didn’t exist if they told him you were awake?” Blaine frowned, obviously not following. Kendra rolled her eyes for the millionth time, as if they had a medical twitch, “Blaine. He’s not around because he doesn’t know you’re up. Your parents never called.” Blain narrowed his eyes, “Then why hasn’t he called?!” Kendra looked at him as if he were thick in the head, “You say that like your parents aren’t perfectly capable of ignoring phone calls.” Blaine slammed his coffee down on the table, “Then why doesn’t he call me? Why doesn’t he come see me? Why isn’t he here? I’m all alone Kendra. All alone. I don’t remember anything and I’m scared shitless and he left me for dead.”
Kendra sighed and looked at him compassionately, “Honey, first of all. He hasn’t called you because he thinks you’re still in a coma. Second, they changed your phone number. And third, he thinks you’re at the hospital, so obviously he’s not just going to waltz into your house expecting you to be there, and he sure as hell doesn’t go there by himself. And fourth, what do you think he’s doing? You two were joined at the hip, if you think he’s not going completely nuts, you are so incredibly stupid that I may consider having you hospitalized. Okay, poor choice of words, my bad.” Blaine shrugged indifferently, “Be that as it may, I still have no way of contacting him.” Kendra rolled her eyes, “I did mention you two were joined at the hip, right?” Blaine shrugged once more, “Yeah, so what? Did I get his phone number tattooed on my ass?” Kendra let out an unladylike snort, “No. Nice try though. But he was with you every single time I’ve seen you in the past year, believe it or not, I actually liked your boyfriend.” Blaine just looked at her, waiting for her to get to her point, “Again. Yeah, so?” Kendra smiled, “I have his phone number.”
This time it was Blaine who shot out of his chair, “You what?! And you’re waiting for me to do something? Why are you just sitting there? Call him!” Kendra looked at him amusedly, as if he was a small child having a tantrum, “Okay. First. Sit down. We have to go about this very carefully. You have to recognize that if he doesn’t know you’re awake, he probably also doesn’t realize that you don’t remember him.” Blaine glared, “I. Don’t. Care. I need to remember. I need someone to help me and my parents are obviously not going to do that. If we were so close as you think, then he’s the person to do that. I’m losing my mind here Kendra! Do you know what it’s like? What it’s like to see your collection of bow ties and have no memory of buying them? To find a tattoo of someone’s initial on your hip and not even know who the fuck it’s for? Or not being able to remember what you did for Thanksgiving, or Christmas? Or Valentine’s day---” Kendra cut across him, “Dude. Chill. I get it. I get that it’s scary. Just relax for a moment. What I was getting at is that you’re not the only person that’s going to have a hard time with it. If you think about it, it might even be harder for Kurt.” Blaine rolled his eyes, “How do you figure? He’s not the one missing the past year of his life!” Kendra nodded, “Exactly. He does remember. He remembers the day you first met. He knows what your favorite food is. He remembers what you two did for Valentine’s Day. He knows what it’s like to dance with you. Pardon me for being crude, but I’m sure he also knows things like where you like to be kissed, how you like to be touched, among some other very, um, intimate things.”
The look that crossed Blaine’s face was a combination of confusion, understanding, and hurt, and outrage. “You mean I lost that too!? For the love of GOD! I loose my virginity and I can’t even fucking remember it. Of fucking course.” Blaine slammed his hand down on the table, seeming to forget for a moment that they were in a coffee house, but then he lost a little bit of his steam, “Shit...Kurt. God. That’s...I’ll be back at square one...and he’ll be all alone at square three hundred...” Blaine frowned at his lap and Kendra patted his hand, “Look Blainey, I’m not gonna lie. It’ll be rough. But I know at the end of it, Kurt will have found you, and you him, and you two will come out hand in hand on the other said, with or without your memory.” Blaine didn’t look up as he asked, “How do you know?” Blaine could hear Kendra smile, “Because that’s what you two do. You find each other.” Blaine nodded slowly, and Kendra squeezed his hand, “Listen, go home. Get some rest. Work on what ever you need to graduate. I’ll get ahold of Kurt, and I’ll call you.”
Twenty minutes later, Kendra’s still in the coffee shop, scrolling through her contacts for a number she hasn’t called in a while. The countertenor sounds worn out when he answers, “Kendra?” Kendra tries to smile reassuringly as the heartbroken tone, “Hey Kurt.” Kurt sighs, “Anything new?” Kendra gives a shaky laugh, “Not one for pleasantries I see.” Kurt grumbles, “Sorry, I just. I’ve been losing my mind. Sorry. How’re you?” Kendra rolls her eyes before she can remember that Kurt can’t see her, “I’m fine honey, and you will be too. Listen, do you think you can meet me at the Lima Bean?” Kurt immediately sounds better, “Sure. When?” Kendra looks at her watch, “I’m here right now, so as soon as possible?” Kurt nods before realizing she can’t see him, “I’m on my way.”
The amount of time it takes the pale boy to show up leads Kendra to believe several traffic laws are broken, and she says as much when he sits down. Kurt shoots her what Mercedes lovingly calls his ‘bitch face glare’, “You said I was going to be fine. I took that to mean you have news. If you don’t I’m leaving.” Kendra swallows, “No, no, I have news,” Kurt’s eyes light up, “But honey it’s not all good.” Kendra feels an ache in her chest as Kurt’s face falls, she gently reaches out to take his hand, before remembering that he didn’t like to be touched. She fleetingly remembers how Blaine had explained it to her, how hesitant he was for physical contact with as many times as he’d been shoved and thrown into dumpsters. She remembers how Blaine had grinned each time Kurt had allowed him to hold his hand, or brush away an eyelash, something so simple, yet such a big deal for Blaine. She takes a deep breath, “Kurt, I’m going to unload alot of information on you. And I need you to be calm about it until I finish talking. If at some point you need me to stop so you can take a breather, just say so. Okay?” She widens her eyes, searching for any signs of life in the cold blue eyes that used to be alight with good humor, love, and compassion. Eyes that show nothing short of death these days.
Kurt nods and Kendra shuts her eyes for a minute, “I’ve seen Blaine,” a quiet gasp escapes the countertenor, “He awoke nine days ago,” Kurt moves to stand, “But Kurt, honey. He, he doesn’t remember anything.” The momentary life in his eyes dies out as Kendra speaks, and he interrupts, “He’s awake? Then how come nobody called me? They said they would call! Kendra! They said they would! They...they promised.” Kendra sighs deeply, “Honey, I didn’t know until yesterday that he was awake. And I met with him today, a couple of hours ago in fact--” Kurt shoots across her, “He was here!? And you didn’t keep him from leaving?!” Kendra smacks the table, “Damn it Kurt. Let me speak. Listen. His parents didn’t tell anyone anything. Just that he was awake. And they aren’t helping him. He met with me today to---Kurt he doesn’t remember anything about the past eighteen months. Nothing. Not you. Not the Warblers. Not even a whole year of Pre-Calc. And his parents aren’t forthcoming. They’re telling him that he has no friends, never had a boyfriend, they apparently packed all of his pictures of you guys away, they’re lying to him Kurt,” Kendra watches as Kurt slowly goes from hurt, to angry, to heartbroken in a heartbeat, “But apparently he found his tattoo, and when his parents weren’t telling him the truth, he decided to go looking. Which is how he found all these photos of you and him, of him and Mercedes, and Rachel and Finn, and Tina and Wes, and David, and all of you guys. But he still couldn’t put names to their faces, so he called me about the tattoo.” Kendra pauses for a minute to let Kurt take it all in.
“What, what’d you tell him?” Kurt wipes at a tear running down his porcelain cheek. Kendra smiles a little bit, “I told him about you getting matching tattoos. He, he had a picture of you two. I think it was from the bonfire you all had after taking Nationals, but he was asleep on your chest and you were smiling at the camera.” Kurt nodded, and dug around in his messenger bag, producing a photo and holding it up for Kendra to see, “I, I took it for me, but he insisted on having a copy.” Kendra nodded, “Typical Blaine. I told him about your two’s proposal. And I told him the outline of how you got together. He, he wanted to stay. To see you as soon as he could. Gosh...Kurt you two. He doesn’t even remember you, but I saw the way he was looking at that picture. He still thinks you’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen,” Kurt rolls his eyes, “But he’s scared. He doesn’t remember a thing and his parents are all he has and they were lying to him. He needs you to help him get it all back. Which is why he was hesitant to leave, but I made him go,” Kurt glares at Kendra, “Kurt, don’t look at me like that. I had to. The thing you obviously don’t realize is how hard this is gonna be on you. Honey he doesn’t know you. All he knows is that he was madly in love with you. He doesn’t remember the day you met. He doesn’t remember your first kiss. He doesn’t remember who said ‘I love you’ first. He didn’t even remember losing his virginity.” Kurt inhales sharply, and nods, “I get that. But I’ll do what ever it takes to get him back. I don’t care how painful it is. It can’t possibly be worse then these past few months. I want to see him.”
Kendra nods, “I figured. And he wants to see you too. But not today, okay?” Kurt opens his mouth to argue and Kendra cuts across him, “No. This is too much information for one day. He just learned that he has a whole host of people he forgot and that his parents are lying to him. You just learned that your fiance doesn’t remember you. You both need to take a breather. How about Friday morning you meet us here? And then we can maybe sort this out. Alright?” Kurt takes a deep breath, his shoulders hunch forward in defeat, “Yes, fine. Friday morning. Early?” Kendra smiles, “9 am?” Kendra can tell that no time is early enough for Kurt, but he nods, sliding away from the table. He kisses her cheek and with that he leaves.
Kendra sits back in her chair watches the Navigator pull out of the parking lot. She feels shitty about the whole thing. She can’t help but feel almost responsible for it too. She knows she isn’t to blame, she knows that the people who are are behind bars now. But she’s the one that suggested they go see that movie. She’s the reason they were at the theater. She’s the reason they were out so late together in a public place. She knows they would have gone out anyway. She knows they would have been in public anyway. But she can’t stop kicking herself over it. She just wished she had a way to take it all back. To go back to that night and keep her cousin and his boyfriend safe. She huffs aloud, well at least I can help them fill in the blanks. And that’s something, but she wishes it weren’t necessary.
Comments
I am so so so glad I clicked on this story because it is AMAZING so far! I'm really excited to see where it goes :D
AWW!! Thank you! You're so sweet(:
oh!! my!! god!!!!! please please update this soon! blaine needs to rmemeber :)
OMG! Do you really think so? Because I'm caught between him remembering (at some point maybe) and him not remembering (like ever at all.) And I am working on the third chapter as I write this response lovely!!! It may not be what you're hoping for but it's a step in the right direction I hope!
OMG I THOUGHT SOMETHING WORSE HAPPENED TO KURT, I HATE BLAINES PARENTS I'M JUST GLAD BLAINE OUT EVERYTHING AND STILL FEELS SOMETHING FOR KURT I JUST HOPE IT ALL WORKS OUT AND HE GETS HIS MEMORY BACK
Me too, honey, me too