Sept. 11, 2013, 9:32 a.m.
Everything Will Fall To Pieces
Not The Same Without You: July.
K - Words: 2,504 - Last Updated: Sep 11, 2013 Story: Complete - Chapters: 12/12 - Created: Aug 25, 2013 - Updated: Apr 13, 2022 134 0 0 0 0
After their little 'argument', Kurt and Blaine stopped talking to each other almost completely. Blaine would text Kurt at least once a day to tell him that he loved him but Kurt would only reply before he went to bed as it was almost impossible for him to go to sleep without saying goodnight to him. Kurt was miserable and the only time he would actually leave the house was if he needed to go to the shop or if his dad asked him to help out at work. Other than that, Kurt spent most of his time curled up on either the sofa or his bed, staring at his phone and contemplating whether or not he should call Blaine.
Things weren't much better in New York. Blaine refused to leave his bedroom for any reason other than needing food or the toilet and spent most of his time looking through the pages of the scrapbook that Kurt had made him over a year ago.
"Blaine," Rachel said, standing in the doorway of Blaine's bedroom and watching him flip through the scrapbook pages filled with photos and notes from Kurt. Blaine looked up at his best friend, not saying anything at all. "You've got to stop doing this to yourself. Spending all day wallowing in your bedroom isn't going to help anything between you and Kurt."
"What am I supposed to do, Rach? He's in a completely different state and won't talk to me."
"Fly there and make him listen to you. Don't let him slip further away then he already has without at least trying to fix things," Rachel replied, holding Blaine's hand in her own. "I know that you're Blaine yourself and yes, it was your fault but if you don't do anything about it you might actually lose him."
"I don't know what I'm supposed to say to him. I feel like if I see him I'm just going to burst into tears and that isn't going to help anybody."
"You're such an idiot sometimes, Blaine. All you need to do is apologise. That's all he's wanted you to do since it happened but you're too caught up in your own self-pity to do that." Rachel said before standing up and leaving the room.
Blaine groaned as he let himself fall back against his pillows. He'd screwed up...bad. He honestly didn't even know why he did what he did, so how was he supposed to apologise to Kurt? Picking up his phone, Blaine dialled Kurt's number. Surprisingly, Kurt answered the phone – Blaine was expecting him to just ignore the call, but the sixteen year old actually picked up the phone.
"Kurt?" Blaine said nervously.
"Blaine, please leave me alone." Kurt replied, sounding as if he was crying.
"Kurt," Blaine choked out. "I'm so, so sorry."
"I believe you but that's not enough anymore. No matter how many times you say sorry it's not going to make it hurt any less, please just give me some space."
"Please. Please don't leave me, Kurt," Blaine cried helplessly. "I can't lose you, not again."
"The fact that you had to use 'again' in that sentence just proves that we need some time apart." Kurt said, tears running down his face.
"Time apart? Kurt, we're apart every single day!"
"I know, that's why I came to see you in New York but you just ignored me!" Kurt cried, pacing his bedroom as he clutched his phone to his ear.
"I told you I'm sorry! What else do you want from me?"
"I want you to leave me alone, Blaine!" Kurt practically screamed down the phone, regretting it the second he said it. "I just...I don't know how we're supposed to move on from this if you don't give me some time. It's obvious we need it, we argue every time we talk and I may not be a relationship expert but I'm pretty sure that the relationship we have isn't healthy."
"Kurt," Blaine sobbed into the phone. "Please. I need you, you're my everything. Please don't do this."
"Good-"
"Don't. Don't you dare," Blaine said, cutting Kurt off with a shaky voice. "You said you'd never say goodbye to me." Blaine heard Kurt's sharp intake of breath, and took his silence as a slightly good thing. "Kurt...I- I love you..."
Kurt froze, blinking hard as what felt like a million tears escaped his eyes. "...I love you too." He said quietly before ending the phone call and throwing himself onto his bed, sobbing into the pillow.
"Kurt?" Burt said quietly, coming into his son's bedroom as the sixteen year old sat up and rubbed at his eyes. "Are you okay? I didn't mean to listen to you but you were kinda loud so..."
Kurt shook his head frantically from side to side, "I want him back already." Kurt replied, his lip quivering as sobs overtook his body. Kurt curled in on himself as his dad made his way over to the teen's bed and sat on the edge, enveloping his son in a hug. "What if I made the wrong decision?"
"You weren't happy. Despite how much you may love him, you weren't happy with him so you didn't make the wrong decision, no matter how wrong it may feel right now."
"But Blaine makes me happy, I just...I don't know. I don't feel like he's Blaine anymore. It doesn't feel like he's the same Blaine that I fell in love with." Kurt cried.
"Oh, Kurt." Burt said sadly, hugging his son close as he cried into his daddy's shirt.
Blaine, on the other hand, was a complete mess. His room was wrecked from where he'd torn it apart; a sobbing mess as he shoved everything to the floor and threw other things across the distance of his small bedroom. Rachel ended up having to come in and restrain him before he actually broke something. She held him until he used up all of his energy crying and eventually collapsed into her arms, the two of them slowly sinking to the floor as Blaine held onto his best friend and cried his heart out.
The two nineteen year olds stayed on the floor until it was pitch black outside, and Rachel was slightly shocked that Blaine hadn't cried himself to sleep in her arms. He cried for at least an hour before it became pretty much impossible and he just allowed Rachel to hold him until his chest stopped heaving and he finally felt like he could breathe a little bit. Blaine slowly sat up a little from where he was leaning against Rachel, rubbing at his still damp eyes.
"Are you okay?" Rachel asked, wiping tears from Blaine's rosy cheeks. "Okay, that was a stupid question."
"I screwed up so bad, Rachel."
"I told you, just apologise to him and –"
"I did apologise to him; he broke up with me." Blaine explained, his voice wavering.
"Wait, what?"
"He said that we 'need some time apart' because we just keep arguing every time that we speak."
"Maybe he's right?" Rachel said, receiving a pointed glare from Blaine. "Don't kill me, I just...he has a point. Maybe if you guys take a break for a while, when it comes to working things out you won't be so mad at each other anymore."
"I'm not mad at him though!" Blaine shouted unnecessarily loud.
"No, but you just proved that you can't talk about it and stay calm at the same time so maybe him breaking up with you or whatever was for the best. It'll give you both time to cool down and then you'll be able to properly work everything out."
"I don't want to cool down, I just want my baby back." Blaine said sadly, his eyes beginning to water again.
"You want him to be happy, right?"
"More than anything." Blaine replied honestly.
"Then give him a little bit of time. Don't text him, don't call him; just give him some space."
"I don't think I can handle giving him space. He broke up with me like three hours ago and I already miss him to hell and back."
"You're gonna have to handle it, Blaine, because if you don't then you're gonna make things so much worse."
Blaine sniffled a little, rubbing at his eyes in a childlike manner. "I know that you're right, but I really don't want to be away from him anymore."
"I know," Rachel replied sadly, putting her arm around her best friend as he rested his head on her shoulder. "But you said yourself that you want him to be happy, and maybe this is the best way that can happen."
The next day, Kurt called Quinn as soon as his dad announced that he had to go to work. The blonde haired teen made her way over to Kurt's immediately and held him as he proceeded to cry his eyes out once again and re-tell the story until he fell asleep.
When Quinn heard a knock on the Hummel's front door, she carefully untangled herself from underneath Kurt's body and made her way downstairs. Opening the front door as quietly as possible, Quinn resisted the urge to slam it shut again when she saw who was outside.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Quinn asked, the door barely open as she crossed her arms over her chest.
"I came to visit my mum because I haven't seen her in a while," Blaine began, his red-rimmed eyes telling a different story. "I just...I wanted to see Kurt before I make my way there."
"Why? I think he made it pretty clear that he needs space."
"I know, and I'll give him space, I just really need to see him." Blaine pleaded.
"He's asleep," Quinn sighed. "Once again, he cried himself to sleep in my arms because of something stupid you did."
"Please don't. I've already been lectured about this like, fifty times by Rachel. I know that I screwed up, okay? I know that he needs time and space and I'm willing to give that too him, I just need five minutes and I'll go."
"Fine, I'll wake him up but I can't guarantee that he'll speak to you." Quinn said, shutting the door as she made her way upstairs.
Kurt reluctantly dragged himself out of bed and down the stairs; a sick feeling settling in his stomach at the prospect of seeing Blaine again. When he reached the door, Kurt opened it slowly and shyly, peering around it as if there were a monster outside waiting to eat him.
"Hi," Kurt said softly, his heart thumping wildly against his chest.
"Hey," Blaine replied with a soft smile.
"What are you doing here?" Kurt asked, making his way outside and shutting the door behind him.
"I was coming to visit my mum and I didn't like the way we left things so when I passed your house on the way to my mums, I just..." Blaine trailed off, taking a shaky breath. "I know that I said this already but I'm sorry. I know that doesn't really help or explain why I was such a jerk, but I honestly don't know why I acted like that.
I guess I just...I got so caught up being a 'college boy' that I sort of lost sight of myself and concentrated more on my new friends than you when you came to visit. That doesn't make it better, but I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry and...if I could go back in time and change that whole visit, I would. I wouldn't do it because I miss you and I'm upset that you broke up with me but I'd do it because I know how much I hurt you and I never, ever wanted to do that to you.
I miss you like crazy but if space is what you want...what you need, then I'll give that to you. I want you to be happy more than anything, and if that means that I have to get used to us not being...us, then I will. I'll find a way to let you go if that's what I have to do. I just hope that we can at least be friends?"
Kurt let out the breath that he didn't know he was holding before nodding a little. "I hope so too. I'm not ready yet, I still need some time by myself, but I really hope that we can stay friends too." He smiled, enveloping the nineteen year old in a hug.
Shocked, Blaine reciprocated the hug by wrapping his arms around Kurt's waist. He held the sixteen year old close, breathing in his familiar scent, worried that he would never see him again.
When Kurt tried to pull away, Blaine continued to hold him close for a few more moments, whispering to him in a shaky voice, "Just promise me one thing?"
He felt Kurt nod against his shoulder before he proceeded to tell him his request.
"Promise me that no matter what happens – whether we get back together or we never date again – that we'll always have each other."
"I promise." Kurt replied, his voice cracking as a lone tear escaped his eye.
"Okay," Blaine said suddenly, pulling back from the hug with a smile. "I should probably get to my mum's before she thinks I got lost or something." He laughed slightly, trying to elicit humour from Kurt but only eliciting a little sniffle as he the sixteen year old wiped his cheeks free of tears.
The two of them stood there frozen for a few moments, not knowing how they should part.
"Please just go," Kurt said, his voice wavering. "I'm about a second away from dragging you into my house and never letting you leave; I just don't think I can handle you saying goodbye to me."
"Okay." Blaine replied softly, pressing a gentle kiss to Kurt's forehead before getting into his car and driving away, leaving a heartbroken boy behind.
Blaine cried softly to himself as he made his way to the house he grew up in. He knew that he did the right thing, the thing that Kurt needed the most in that moment, but he couldn't help but think about how incredibly wrong it felt. He wanted to do what was best for Kurt, of course he did, but he sort of felt as if he couldn't breathe anymore.
Kurt, on the other hand, wiped the tears from his eyes with shaky hands before making his way back inside where he found Quinn waiting for him with her arms open wide.
"Are you okay?" Quinn asked, rubbing Kurt's back gently when he fell into her waiting arms.
"Yeah," Kurt sniffed. "I think so."
"Good. At least he hasn't hurt you anymore."
"He hasn't," Kurt replied, pulling away with a little smile. "He just reminded me why I fell in love with him in the first place."