Lake Stewart, Ohio – August 1969

“Buddy? Over here!” Andy shouted, looking to see where Buddy had disappeared. They were staying at the cabins where their families had met so long ago, near the lake.

“Im coming!” Buddy called back, a picnic basket in tow as he walked down the pathway to the table near the lake.

Buddy had packed a feast it seemed...cheese and wine, grapes and chicken on toasted rustic bread. He put the cloth on the table and went about setting two places, then laid out the food. Andys eyes got big, he hadnt been expecting such a beautiful meal, they were only going to swim in the lake, after all.

“This is so gorgeous!” he praised, coming up in back of Buddy to put his arms around his lover and kissed him on the neck.

“Hey, be careful. You never know who can see us, Andy,” Buddy said, the fear clear in his voice. Buddy had been bullied in school. He hadnt let it be known that he was homosexual, but the other boys had teased him for being feminine – his clear skin, the amount of time he spent on his hair, his care with anything he touched....then it was his lack of enthusiasm for sports and fast cars. He was a loner and the pack didnt like it.

Andy had gotten by because he did love sports and he could run like the wind. He had lettered in track, and his letter jacket was a shield that kept him safe. He and Buddy had gone to different schools, but saw each other enough that Andy was aware of what went on in Buddys life. He had, in their senior year, talked Buddy into going to Andys school and the year went smoothly, mostly owing to their friendship masking any idiosyncrasies that Buddy had.

The years of being bullied had left their mark on Buddy, though. He still cringed when he was near large crowds of people, still jumped in front of Andy if some sort of danger might be present. It was just instinct and each time it hit Andy how brave Buddy was – and how scared of the world he remained, even to this day almost 30 years later.

“Buddy?”

“Yeah..”

“Were pretty isolated here, I think were okay,” Andy said gently.

“I....I just want to be safe,” Buddy said, drawing away.

Andy wanted to follow him, wanted in the worst way to hold him close, kiss him and reassure him, but he knew that would only make the situation so much worse. Hed seen Buddy have an anxiety attack before and he didnt want to be the cause of it again. It had taken weeks of coaxing to get Buddy to agree to share a cabin with him. So, in the end Andy accepted that it had to be this way and he sat and ate with Buddy, knowing that tonight in the cabin they could be themselves once again.

~ ~ ~ KB ~ ~ ~

“Buddy...thank you for making such a wonderful supper,” Andy said, leaning back on the settee by the fire, Buddy lying back in his arms. They came in and put away the dishes and things, deciding to sing for a while. Andy had played his guitar and Buddy sang along.

“Why dont we go out and take a quick dip in the lake?” Buddy asked. He didnt like to show off in front of anybody else, but they hadnt seen another soul for days. It seemed the cabin was as isolated as the brochure claimed it was.

“Sure, Id love to,” Andy smiled.

Out on the dock, the men sat together and just looked across the water to see the moons reflection.

“Look at the stars!” Buddy said, excited to see so many.

“They seem to go on forever, dont they?”

“Its because there are no city lights to compete, I think,” Buddy said, rolling his eyes at Andy.

Andy leaned forward, looking into the water. The moon was out, but not full yet. Still, they could see fairly well in the dim light. Andy slipped into the water, just a small splash as he sank momentarily before bouncing back to the surface. He shook his head to release the water from his curls – spraying drops of water all over Buddy.

“Hey, Anderson! Stop it,” he said and slipped into the water beside his friend.

He splashed just a bit up into Andys face and giggled when Andy sneezed and grabbed him.

Buddy relaxed into Andys arms, snaking his own up and around his neck. Andy pulled him in close, kissing him thoroughly before he felt Buddys fingers busily undoing the string on his swim trunks. Andy feigned ignorance as he kissed him again, then little kisses down his cheek to his neck. He felt his trunks loosen around his waist and grabbed them before they sank to the bottom of the lake bed.

He reached for Buddys to undo them, but found they werent even there. What was there was warm and excited and poking him in the belly, so he eased his fist around it, stroking and loving the feel of the slickness as his hand moved with no friction. He felt Buddys hand doing the same thing, and the contrast of the cool water to the hot flesh was delicious.

He moved in the water, going around Buddy and behind him to pull him closer, his hand returning to Buddys erection and he pushed until his own cock was warm in the crevice between Buddys butt cheeks. Buddy let out a groan, both of surprise and satisfaction at the intrusion.

Andy kissed Buddys neck, licking under his ear and nibbling a bit to cover Buddys flesh with goosebumps. He loved the way his boyfriend giggled at the tickling sensation. Rubbing his cock hard against Buddy, it wasnt long before it began to slip inside. There was plenty of mineral oil there to ease the stroke, due to a quick session after they got home and got carried away when they were changing clothes.

“Are you too sore, Buddy?” Andy whispered into his ear, not wanting to make him any more sore.

“No, it feels good, baby...just be slow, okay?” Buddy asked. And Andy was – as slow and careful as he could be. He was tender and gentle, letting Buddy set the pace to his inner rhythm. They had all night. Andy let his hand around Buddys cock adapt to that very same rhythm, like a dance under the moonlight, that lasted for so long...Buddy humming the song that Andy wrote for him. Andy looked over, expecting to see those big blue eyes looking back, but they were closed -a beautiful smile dawning on his face as Andy pushed in and out.

They stayed that way for a long time, just moving to the gentle rhythm going on inside their heads, until Andy could feel Buddy beginning to stiffen a little, reaching back to put his hands behind Andys neck and held on, his hips now entering the dance as the pressure built up in both of them – hotter and hotter, pressure that made them each moan and struggle to get closer, stroke harder, whisper encouragement to each other.

Suddenly he could feel Buddy squeeze him tighter, his hands gripping harder, his head thrown back as he groaannned out his climax. Andy was right behind him, the rhythmic squeezing pushing him over.

When it was done, Buddy turned and fell into Andys loving arms, holding him tight.

It was good that was the last day at the lake because neither of them had packed two pairs of swimming trunks.

~ ~ ~ KB ~ ~ ~

“Andy!” Buddy shouted as he walked into the apartment.

“Im in the music room,” Andy called back. He set his guitar down and stood up to greet his partner.

“Youll never guess what happened today!”

“What?”

“I got promoted. You are now looking at the new head of the Art Department!” Buddy grinned, jumping up and down in place.

“Oh, my stars! You got it!!!” Andy picked him up and swung him around the room. “I am so happy for you!”

“I was sure I didnt get it...you know Sally was almost a shoe in, but somehow they picked me. And Sally came and gave me a hug anyway. Oh, Im walking on clouds, Andy!”

“This calls for a fancy supper. Ill call and make reservations – what kind of food do you want? Steakhouse? Chinese? Italian?” Andy asked, although he already knew where Buddy would choose.

“The Normandy!”

Andy was right. He called and made reservations at the small restaurant, asking that champagne be put on ice.

An hour later, Buddy stepped out of his bedroom, dressed in his best suit, a pale gray with a charcoal shirt and a blue skinny tie. Andy was wearing his blue suit and they looked good together as they stepped out to go to supper.

They had French onion soup, thick with melted cheese and then came the Chateaubriand for two along with the champagne. It was lovely as the violinist played a song just for Buddy, as requested by Andy. They strolled home, walking through the park and singing. Some people stopped to look, but just shrugged their shoulders, thinking the pair were probably drunk.

They got home and shed their good clothes, hanging them up and meeting in the living room to watch the television. The public station was showing a concert, so the men danced together to the music – dancing close and kissing.

“Andy, I have a question, but I might be afraid to ask...” Buddy said quietly as they moved across the hardwood floor. Andy smiled at Buddy.

“You know you can ask me anything, my love. Just say it out – dont try to couch it in pretty words, honey,” he said, a shiver crossing his spine as he saw the worried look on Buddys face.

Buddy, kept dancing. He thought it over again, but the words he needed were stubbornly refusing to appear in his brain. He shook his head, maybe something would dislodge this blockage in his thought process.

Andy watched and it was painful to see Buddy trying so hard to get it out. Andy knew this happened sometimes, and each time he wished he could do something, anything to help. Although he also knew from prior experience that Buddys mind would come up with a way to tell him eventually and asking would just make it worse. He moved his hand over, gathering Buddy closer to him and laid his head on his lovers shoulder. Buddy sighed as he relaxed against Andy, leaning his head against his partners as they continued to glide across the floor.

The music ended, but the two men continued to move together, now listening to the song in their hearts.

“Lets go to bed, okay?” Andy asked, kissing Buddys cheek.

Without a word, Buddy let go and walked to the bedroom, removing all but his jockey shorts and climbing into their bed. Andy allowed him a few minutes, went into the bathroom to brush his teeth once again and wash his face. He slipped off all but his underwear and listened to be sure Buddy wasnt crying. He opened the medicine cabinet, taking out two aspirin and got a glass of water.

“Hey, Buddy. I brought you some aspirin for your headache,” Andy said.

“How did you know?” Buddy asked, pulling the blanket and sheet back to let Andy in bed.

“You had that look – your forehead was wrinkled, you had a frown. I could tell something was bothering you even before you said anything, my love,” Andy said, reaching out to take the glass back and set it beside the bed on a small table. He touched Buddys head lightly with his fingers, stroking along the tops of his eyebrows and down over his temple. He stroked again and again, gentle and tender. Buddy laid back, his head on the extra-soft down pillow Andy had gotten him for his birthday. It had lavender inside with the goose down, and the scent of it was good for his headaches. He closed his eyes and tried his best to relax. He wasnt tired – not in a sleepy sort of way, but tired of carrying around the burden of what he had to ask Andy. He recognized, finally, that it was not going to go away until he had said it, so he gathered his courage and just spilled it all out.

“Andy...Im afraid that because my work is here in Westerville that I am holding you back.”

There, he said it. He waited for what Andy would say...not wanting to hear it but needing to get this done with. Hed been thinking about it for weeks now and the promotion at the college made it so clear to him.

“Oh, Buddy. You are not holding me back from anything! I love you. I am fine writing songs...you know Ive been able to sell anything I write, there is no reason for us to move to New York or Los Angeles. I can do anything I want right here in Westerville,” Andy said desperately. He was so afraid that Buddy would blame himself to the point hed leave, and Andy knew his life would be over if he lost Buddy.

“That isnt true. You can sell the songs, but it should be you singing them. You cant be a star on stage in Westerville, you have to go somewhere to sing to crowds and to cut records and be seen!” Buddy was distraught, turning over so he wasnt looking at Andy any more. He knew the tears were coming and he didnt want Andy brushing them away and then kissing him...he couldnt think when he did that. He had finally gotten up the courage to tell Andy – he didnt want that to be sabotaged because he was sure he couldnt gather that much courage ever again.

“Buddy...Im never, never going to leave you and youre going to have to come up with one hell of a reason for me to go to another city without you,” Andy said, his arms trembling with emotion. He could see what it had taken for Buddy to say that, and he didnt want to break him – but he would never let Buddy go. Not unless the man stopped loving him, and he knew that could never happen.

“You have to go, Andy. You have these big dreams, ones you have had since you were 15 for Gods sake. You will end up....” Buddy stopped cold, refusing to look or answer Andy.

“Ill end up what?” Andy asked for maybe the tenth time. Buddy shook his head. He must have spaced out...he better answer Andy, his voice was starting to sound desperate.

Buddy sat up, twisting so he was facing Andy, but no part of him was touching him.

“What? Tell me what you were going to say, Buddy, Pleeeaaase,” Andy said, taking Buddys hands in his own strong ones.

Buddy slumped down, he hung his head for a moment, not wanting to finish this. But it was necessary. He took a great lungful of air and raised his chin, looking into Andys hazel-brown eyes when he realized that he could say anything to Andy, and he would understand.

“I dont want you to end up hating me because I was the cause of you missing the chance you need to have your dream. Staying with me, here in Westerville.............you cant have your dream of being a singing star here. As for me, well, I can be a big fish in this tiny pond. In New York or Los Angeles? I would be a very tiny queer fish in a huge lake. I dont know if I could be that, Andy. I dont. And I feel wretched that I cant give up my career to follow you there....thats the worst part, Andy. I cant lose you. You are my life,” he stuttered out, collapsing on the bed in a mess of tears and sobbing.

Andy sat still for a moment, contemplating how to fix this. He knew he was giving up being a singer when he bought the apartment three years ago, and it didnt matter to him then. His eyes were full of stars when he thought of Buddy, and he would choose Buddy over anything. But now they had been together for a few years, living together like a married couple, he hadnt thought about his missed chance – or if it was still a missed chance.

Andy got up, slipping on his robe and house slippers. He went into the living room, snapped his fingers at Buck and bid him go to Buddy. Closing the door behind the dog, he went to the liquor cabinet and took out the bottle of Glen Fiddich 15 year old Scotch Whisky. He took down a Riedel Vinum whisky glass and poured the golden liquid into the crystal.

Sitting on the balcony, Andy swirled the liquor around, putting it up to his nose to smell it before taking a very small sip. He moved the hot liquid around in his mouth, savoring the smoky flavor and swallowing it just to feel the burn down his throat. He took small sips, one after the other, as he thought about what Buddy had told him. He knew he was being cruel – leaving Buddy alone in his misery – but he didnt know what to do.

Time after time, Buddy had brought this up, though never so bluntly before. He had hinted at it, squirmed around it, denied it. The whole crux of the matter was that Buddy believed he had ruined Andys chance to make it big as a singer and that in time Andy would come to blame him and hate him for it.

Andy had no such qualms. He knew what he was giving up when he proposed they live together. He knew it could never be like a heterosexual couple, they could not kiss in public, introduce each other as their spouse, or anything like that. But when he put those inconveniences up against being with Buddy every day, having him to cuddle with every night, being together and loving each other? No, Andy would pick Buddy every time because Buddy was his life. Nothing else could be said because nothing else made sense. Nothing.

Downing the last of the Scotch, Andy went into the bedroom. Buddy was lying in the middle of the bed, his arms around the neck of his dog. He was still crying, but it had evolved into a quiet, sobbing, wet mess. Andy snapped his fingers and Buck got off the bed, wagging his tail as he licked Buddys face. He heaved his big body down in front of the fireplace and sighed very dramatically. Andy thought of how perfect the dog was for Buddy – they had the same sense of drama.

Andy sat down on the edge of the bed, slipping off the robe and slippers. He crawled up to the head of the bed and gathered Buddy close to his chest. Buddy snuggled close, knowing that he would feel protected and loved in these big, strong arms.

“Buddy, I understand what you are saying. I went and thought it over, knowing you didnt want me to just blurt out the first thing that crossed my mind.”

Buddy looked up, catching the scent of the whisky that Andy only ever drank when he was pushed beyond his limits. He wasnt sure what that said, and he trembled in fear of what it might mean.

“I knew when I asked you to live here with me that we – us – we would be making a decision that was probably going to last the rest of our lives. I drank three tumblers of that same bottle of Scotch the night before I asked you. I have not changed my mind,” he said softly. He put his palm to Buddys cheek, stroking down to his chin and leaving him a chaste kiss on his rosy pink lips.

“Andy...” was all Buddy could say. He rubbed his other cheek against Andys chest, feeling the soft hair that grew there. He could smell the spicy scent of his after-shave, more of the strong smoky odor of the whisky, and the light scent of Andys sweat. He drank in the scent as much as he could, wondering if one day he might not be able to smell it again.

“Buddy, I dont know how many ways I can tell you, how I can make you believe that I mean it when I tell you that you, you, are the love of my life. There will not, could not be anyone or anything that I love more than you,” he stopped, not wanting to let the emotion into his voice yet, nor open the floodgates to his tears. He had to get through this.

“I dont want you to ever doubt me again, Buddy. Never. I dont want you to imagine anything else, or let any more doubts enter your head about us. The only way we are going to be apart is if you want it. Do you want us to break up, Kurt Elijah Hummel?” Andy demanded.

Buddy sat up. In all the years since they met, Andy had never used his full name. Buddy knew that Andy was aware of it, but he called him Buddy just like his dad did, just like everyone did. He looked at Andy, knowing he must be pushed to his limit to speak to him like this.

“No...Andy, no. Without you? My life wouldnt be worth living,” he whispered into Andys chest as he hugged him as close as he could.

“Kurt...Buddy...my love, mine wouldnt be worth it without you. Understand? There is no contest between anything a big city could give me....and what you give me. It will always, always, be you.”

Buddy pressed himself against Andy, getting as close as he possibly could to him.

“It will always be you for me, too, Blaine Devon Anderson III. Forever...into the next life and beyond, just you and me.”