Feb. 18, 2015, 6 p.m.
Volunteer Angel: Chapter 11 - The Wish
E - Words: 4,119 - Last Updated: Feb 18, 2015 Story: Complete - Chapters: 43/? - Created: Aug 09, 2014 - Updated: Aug 09, 2014 225 0 0 0 0
Lima, Ohio – November 2012
“Dad, I need to talk to you, if you have a minute,” Kurt asked.
“Sure, kiddo. Whats up?” Burt asked, smiling at his son.
“Its about Andy,” Kurt said softly, his face a mask of determination not to let his emotions out. He wanted to tell someone, but he wasnt sure who. He realized Andy was his best friend, but he couldnt bring this to him. He really didnt want to tell his dad because he knew it would stir up memories of his mother dying, but there was nobody else. Mercedes was his friend, but she wasnt the kind of friend he could bring this to. She would just look at him funny and change the subject. She already thought he was weird and strange to spend so much time at the nursing home.
“Kurt? You look like youre a million miles away, son. Whats troubling you?” Burt asked, trying to regain Kurts attention as he sat on the porch swing next to his son. He put his arm along the back of the swing, and Kurt leaned into his Dads side. He sighed.
“I found out something today, and I dont know how to deal with it,” he started.
“What was it?”
“I was at Kenton to see Andy and I asked the nurse when he was getting the bandages off from the cataract surgery,” Kurt said. “She said I was mistaken, Andy didnt have cataract surgery.”
“Well, I wondered about that,” Burt said, “I never saw anyone with cataract surgery end up with bandages over their eyes”.
“I didnt know what to say, so I just told her I must be mistaken and then she had to go answer a call button. I sneaked into the nurses station and looked up Andys file.” Kurt took a deep breath. “Andy didnt have the surgery. He lost his sight because he has diabetes. And there was something else on his chart.”
Kurt stopped again. He tried to keep a lid on his emotions, knuckling the tears from the corners of his eyes and taking deep breaths, but he couldnt do this. He began to tremble and Burt gathered him up and held him tight.
“Hey, buddy, Im here. Whatever you found out – Im here for you. I love you, Kurt, and whatever it is, well face it together. You will never be alone, my son. I promise,” Burt told him, hugging him close.
“I know, Dad. You dont have to say it – but I shouldnt have done it. I know I shouldnt have looked at the chart. It wasnt my business.”
Burt was silent. He wanted to tell Kurt how wrong it was to snoop into another persons private affairs, but he was pretty sure Kurt had already beat himself up over that. He sat, still hugging Kurt to his side, and waited.
Kurt took another deep breath. “Andy has advanced cardiomyopathy.”
Burt sat quietly, taking in the news and trying to wrap his mind around it. He was well aware of Kurts love for Andy. The old man was pretty much the most important person in Kurts life aside from himself. He thought about how unfair it all was for Kurt – such a good kid, so kind and loving – but he was now facing another person afflicted with this same heart problem, a death sentence that the doctors would treat but never fix. All they could do was to try and make the man comfortable as he died. Burt wondered if Andy had even been told he had it.
“Kurt, I cant sugar-coat this. You are already a man, that doesnt depend on a date on the calendar, it is what life hands you and how you respond to it, you know. You havent been a child since your mom passed away when you were nine. Some boys – and girls – never grow up, they just pass through life. You will never be one of those people, Kurt.
“I am so proud of you, so proud to call such a brave and kind man my son. Im sorry about Andy, truly I am, but youre going to help him through this, I know. I think all we can do is to make his last days as happy as they can be,” Burt said, looking Kurt in the eyes.
“Yeah, Dad. I know. I wish there was another way, but there isnt. I cant tell him I know, I can only be there for him,” Kurt lamented.
“That is enough, Kurt. I think it is all Andy wants.”
~ ~ ~ KB ~ ~ ~
“Wheres Andy?” Kurt asked the next day as he walked by his empty room.
“Down in rehab. You know where that is?” Ruth asked. She was one of the day nurses.
“Yes, thank you,” Kurt said and walked down the corridor, turned into a smaller hallway and down a ramp to the rehab gym. Andy was lying on one of the big tables, two therapists with him.
“Hey, Matt, Stan. Is this guy giving you trouble? Because I think I can kick him back into shape for you...” Kurt teased. Andy grinned. His bandages were gone and he wore dark sunglasses.
“Hi, Kurt. Come to play?” he teased back.
“Maybe, when are you breaking out of this joint?”
Andy turned his head toward Matt, a question on his lips.
“Were done here. Good work-out, Andy. Well be seeing you tomorrow, okay?” Matt asked, placing a comforting hand on Andys knee.
“Nice to see you, Kurt. Andy could probably use some fresh air if you want to walk him outside,” Stan suggested.
“Andy, want to go for a stroll?” Kurt asked.
“Sure, Im tired of being cooped up,” Andy said. “Lets go over to the park, okay?”
Kurt looked at the two therapists.
“Sure, if hes up for it, by all means take him. Ill let Ruth know where you guys are,” Matt offered.
“Andy, do you want to try to walk or do you want the wheelchair?” Stan asked him.
“Oh, the chair. Kurt needs to build up some of his muscles so he can look pretty.”
Both therapists laughed and Stan patted Andy on the back.
A few minutes later, Kurt was walking behind the wheelchair, pushing it along the sidewalk. He was singing a song Andy had been humming and both were now singing softly.
“Oh, when the sun beats down and burns the tar up on the roof
And your shoes get so hot, you wish your tired feet were fireproof
Under the boardwalk, down by the sea
On a blanket with my baby is where Ill be
(Under the boardwalk) Out of the sun
(Under the boardwalk) Well be havin some fun
(Under the boardwalk) People walking above
(Under the boardwalk) Well be falling in love
Under the boardwalk, boardwalk”
“I love that song. Hey, have you heard Bruce Willis sing it?” Kurt asked.
“No...Bruce Willis from the Die Hard movies?” Andy asked.
“Yeah...he actually has a blues band. Theyre pretty good. Ill play it for you on my laptop,” Kurt offered.
“Sure, kid,” Andy smiled.
They left the building by the back door and Kurt pushed Andy along to the park. He sat on a bench when they got to a shady place, pulling his feet up onto the bench and folding his arms over his knees, placing his chin there. He looked at Andy, taking in how he seemed out of breath although Kurt had pushed the chair all the way to the park. He was smiling, but not the big, natural grin he usually had. Now it was genuine enough, but not as full of sunshine and sparkles as Kurt was used to from him.
They went over to the petting zoo, Kurt taking Andys arm to guide him into the enclosure. He bought some of the pellets from the attendant and gave a handful to Andy.
“These are little goats,” Kurt said quietly as they came to get petted and eat the pellets. Andy laughed as they pushed each other out of the way.
“Oh, this is a llama!” Kurt said, his voice with so much appeal in it.
“Those must be your favorites, arent they?” Andy observed.
“Yeah, they are. Ive always just though they reminded me of me...the outsider in the barnyard,” Kurt laughed, but it was bittersweet.
Kurt saw that Andy was getting tired, so he decided to go over to sit by the lake.
“How are you feeling?” Kurt asked.
“You know, dont you? I can hear it in your voice. I am so sorry, Kurt,” Andy said softly. He reached out to put his hand on Kurts knee, but failed to find it. Kurt felt bad making this hard on Andy – but he was so angry about Andy lying to him, he couldnt bear to have him touch him.
“I know people with cataract surgery dont wear bandages over their eyes for weeks,” Kurt said, his voice very even and modulated.
Andy hung his head.
“I know. I knew you would figure it out, but once Id told you that – I didnt know how to fix it. What can I do, Kurt? I know I deserve to have you mistrust me now, but I can tell you it was done with the best of intentions,” Andy said.
“We had an agreement. It was your idea, that we do not lie to each other,” Kurt said, his voice had an edge of ice and Andy shivered for a split second. He knew he deserved this.
“I know. And I broke it. Can you see it in your heart to forgive an old man?” Andy asked, truly afraid he had lost Kurt. He wasnt sure he could lose Kurt and still live, to say the Gods honest truth.
Kurt just sat there, trying to figure out what to say. He was past angry, he was hurt. He could hardly believe that Andy would lie to him, after all the months they had been friends. He put his head back down, chin on arms, to think for a moment.
He looked up as he heard a strangled sob, looked at Andy sitting in the chair, doubled over and crying.
“Hey, Andy...no, dont cry!”
“Are you still here? You were so quiet...I....I thought you had left me,” Andy confessed. His hands trembled as he swung his head slowly, trying to use his hearing to pinpoint where Kurt was sitting.
Kurt felt terrible. He was hurt and was just trying to think, but now Andy looked so forlorn, as if hed been abandoned. Kurt would never want that. His Grandma Reenies words came back to him, Its better to be kind than to be right. He had lived by those words for so long, before all the bullying began, and hed forgotten them. It was as if Grandma was still there, telling Kurt again as he walked with her to visit another shut-in.
He uncurled himself and stood up, moving close to Andy in the wheelchair.
“Of course, I forgive you, Andy. Youre my best friend. Always,” Kurt said, taking the mans hand and enclosing it with both of his own.
“Really? After I deceived you, were still friends?” Andy asked, removing his sunglasses to wipe the tears from his eyes. His hand trembled and he dropped the glasses on the concrete pathway.
Kurt took his clean handkerchief from his pocket and dried all the tears, then kissed Andys cheek.
“Of course were still friends - best friends. I said always, and I meant always,” Kurt said, hugging Andy tightly and for a long time. “I dont know what Id do without you.”
“Thank you, Buddy....Bless you,” Andy whispered. He fumbled in his lap for his sunglasses and Kurt saw them on the ground, the lens cracked and fallen out. Kurt took his own from their case and placed them on Andys nose.
“There, mine are bright pink. I think it suits you,” he said, the smile on Andys face getting bigger.
They sat together for a while, Kurt describing the park, all the flowers in neat beds, the old men playing bocce ball on the packed dirt courts, some teenagers playing tennis.
“Kurt, I think I need to get back to my room now,” Andy said, sighing. He looked worn out, so tired and his lips were just a tinge blue. Kurt took a look at his fingernails – yes, just a hint of blue, like his mother when she was tired.
“Sure, Andy. Ill have you back home in no time,” Kurt assured him.
Back at Kenton, Kurt helped Andy into his bed, removing his shoes and putting a quilt over him. He told Andy hed be right back and went to find the nurse.
“Ruth! I just got back from the park with Andy. He is really tired and.....” Kurt stopped to make sure nobody else was listening, “his lips and fingernails are a little blue.”
“Okay, Kurt. Ill get his medication and be right there. Do you want to go sit with him?” she asked.
“Yeah, Id like to do that if its okay,” Kurt said, turning to race back to Andys room.
“Hey, Kurt?” Andy asked as he entered the room.
“Yeah, its me. I had to stop at the restroom. Do you want me to read to you?” he asked.
“Oh, that would be lovely. Yes, please. Oh, you said you were going to read me a new series! Now that we finished Harry Potter,” Andy said, his voice going up in excitement.
“This is a book my mother read to me when I was little. Its called The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe, by C.S. Lewis,” Kurt started, Andy settled in, his head on his pillow and the quilt pulled up to his chin. He had read this series of books with Buddy when they lived in downtown Westerville, but he saw no reason to tell Kurt, the boy was so excited to read it to him.
Ruth came in and took his vitals and gave Andy some medication, but Andy insisted that Kurt be allowed to continue reading. It was almost dark when Kurt stopped.
“Judy will be in here in a few minutes to get you ready for bed, so I better go,” Kurt said. He had eaten supper with Andy and thought his dad was probably missing him.
“Okay, Kurt. Will you be here tomorrow? It is really important to me...if youre not busy I mean,” Andy tried to cover his intense longing for the boys company, but Kurt could hear it in his voice.
“Of course Ill be here. There is no place I would rather be,” Kurt said. He got up and gave Andy a loving hug, Andys fragile arms inched around his neck, his head on Kurts shoulder.
“Thank you for coming again, Buddy,” Andy said, a little confused. “You are my whole world, and you always will be,” the old man whispered. Kurt wasnt sure if it was meant for him to hear, but he kissed Andys forehead and patted his back.
“Kurt?” Andy said, his eyes closed and his body relaxed into the mattress.
“Yes, Andy?”
“I love you, kid.”
“I love you, too, Andy.”
~ ~ ~ KB ~ ~ ~
“Dad, he didnt look good. I dont know what to do. I got him back to Kenton as quickly as I could, then told Ruth. She was just getting off shift, but she stayed and gave him his medication and checked his blood pressure,” Kurt told his dad.
“It sounds like theyre taking care of him, son. I dont know what else there is to do, really. Some things cant be fixed just because we want them to be,” Burt said. Kurt nodded and laid his head on his fathers shoulder.
They sat on the porch for a while, watching the bats flying around the trees, snatching insects out of the air. Burt finally yawned and stretched his arms.
“I better get to bed, bud. Tomorrow is Sunday, maybe Ill go with you to see Andy, okay?”
“Id like that, Dad, and I know Andy would, too.”
Kurt had been in bed for only an hour when the phone rang. He was up, rushing down the hall in a minute, Burt coming from the other direction. Burt got there first.
“Yes, yes, this is his dad. Oh, well, is there time? Okay, Ill come right now,” Burt said.
Kurt just stood there, frozen. He looked at his father, knowing what it was but not wanting to face it.
“Kurt, go get dressed,” Burt said, turning to go do the same.
“Its Andy, isnt it?”
“Yes, son. Hes calling for you.”
Kurt barely touched the floor as he raced down the corridor to Andys room. He stopped in the doorway to see Judy and several other staff members in the room. Everything was quiet. Kurt walked slowly over to Andys bed and took his hand.
“Andy.”
The man tried to open his eyes, tightened his hand around Kurts.
“Kurt?”
“Im here, Andy. Im holding your hand,” Kurt said, using both hands now to hold Andys cold hand.
“Ah, yes. I knew you would be here when I needed you. Youre my best friend, Buddy...”
The doctor motioned for Kurt to follow him out to the hall.
“Andy, my dad is here. He wants to talk to you, okay?”
“Sure, kid,” Andy smiled and let go.
In the hall, the doctor told Kurt that Andys heart was slowing down. He would get sleepy in a while and just drift off to sleep, then stop breathing.
“It is a very peaceful death, son. If you have to go, this is as peaceful a death as you could have. I am truly sorry, Kurt. I know how much he meant to you,” the doctor said, giving Kurts shoulder a squeeze.
“Can I talk to him alone?” Kurt asked.
“Of course. Ill ask them to let you have some time,” he assured the boy.
When they were alone, Andy told Kurt that he was cold.
Kurt went to the closet and got the thicker quilt. He tucked it around Andy.
“Its still so cold...”
“Here, I can help,” Kurt said and slipped off his shoes. He got into the bed next to Andy and cuddled him close to share his warmth.
“Ah, thats better. Thank you, Kurt,” Andy said softly. “There are some things I want to say to you. I have left you a few things, all in my will. Now, dont say anything, Im not changing my mind and youll only hurt my feelings, so let it go.”
“Okay, I dont want you to fret. Ill be here whenever you need me, Andy. You are my best friend, too. I wish I could fix this...this...”
“No, Kurt. I dont want it fixed. Its my time, you know,” Andy said, feeling his way to wipe the tears from Kurts face. “I wanted to tell you – I know sometimes I called you “Buddy”. You never said anything, but you must have noticed it. Well, Buddy was my best friend. He was my partner, my lover, he was all mine. I love him. We lived together in a time when men were not supposed to love each other, so we had to keep our love hidden. I dont understand why the world would not accept us, but thats the way it was.
Buddy and I were lucky, we had friends who helped us stay safe. I loved Buddy more than anything on this earth, and when I heard you singing – it was as if Buddy had come back to me. He died five years ago, and I had nothing left to live for, Kurt, until that day we met. You made me want to live again. So, I owe you a debt of gratitude. You made my last year here a joyful one, and not everyone can say that.”
“Oh, Andy...I dont want you to go,” Kurt cried, his arms around Andys neck, his head buried in his shoulder.
“No, Kurt. Its time. Im tired of dragging this old body around. And I miss Buddy. I want to be with him again, I miss him,” Andy said, the tears running unchecked down his cheeks. He closed his eyes and tried to take a few deep breaths, but was only able to take a few shallow ones.
They sat together quietly and Kurt sat up more, pulling Andy close so he could lean on Kurt.
“You need to take care of yourself, Kurt. Join the choir, do something to make yourself happy. Kurt you need to live life. Promise me youll try?”
“Yes, Andy – I will do my very best,” Kurt promised.
“Then I promise I will never really leave you. Ill always be in your heart, Kurt. Always. Just look for me and one day Ill be back. I know you think this is an old man rambling, and maybe it is – but I believe that I will never leave you. We were meant to be together and nothing can stop that kind of devotion, just wait and see.”
They sat for a while longer, Andy dozing off and waking from time to time. He was mumbling to himself now.
“Buddy...Im here, Buddy. Im holding you. I told you, we can be together...I love you, Buddy,” he said, his muscles trembling for a moment.
Kurt smoothed the still-thick curls from his forehead and kissed him there.
“Kurt?” Andy said, opening his eyes. “Kurt, thank you...I love you, pal.”
“I love you, too, Andy.”
“Ill never say goodbye, Buddy...Kurt,” Andy whispered. And he was gone.
~ ~ ~ KB ~ ~ ~
“Kurt Hummel?”
“Yes, thats me,” Kurt said, walking into the lawyers office.
“Please, have a seat. And you must be Kurts father?”
“Burt Hummel. Thank you,” he said, sitting beside Kurt and straightening his tie.
“I am Louis Harrington. I am the lawyer for Blaine Anderson, the man you knew as Andy. He left his papers with me and I have the duty to read his will to you.”
Kurt picked at his cuticle for a moment. He was nervous.
By the end of the meeting he was the owner of an apartment in Westerville, Ohio and a large bank account. In addition, his tuition, room, and board had been paid for his senior year at Dalton Academy in Westerville. He was stunned.
“But, Mr. Harrington, didnt Andy have any relatives?” he asked.
“Yes, he did. His brother, Thomas Cooper, who moved to Australia. He had two boys and is living in Italy right now,” Mr. Harris explained.
“Shouldnt this money and the apartment go to the son or the boys?” Kurt asked. He didnt want to cheat anyone out of their inheritance.
“Oh, dont worry. They have plenty of money. They inherited the family fortune because TC worked for his father and became president of the company. Dont worry about them, Andy wanted you to have this, I promise you. Nothing would have made him happier than to know you were taken care of, son.”
Kurt thanked the man and shook his hand. Then he and Burt went back home.
~ ~ ~ KB ~ ~ ~
“Andy?”
“Yes, Im Andy....” he said, looking around himself. He was in a place with white walls, kind of like the inside of a cloud but more substantial. He was afraid to walk for a moment, but found he could walk easily, move around with no pain. He opened his eyes and blinked several times. He could see.
“Where am I?” he asked, but the man in front of him didnt answer.
“Andy, you are a kind man, you gave of yourself and made the people around you happy. You cared so deeply, and you made a difference in the lives of the people you loved. What would you like, more than anything in heaven or on earth?” the man asked.
Andy didnt hesitate for a moment.
“I want to be with Buddy again.”
“Such a simple wish?”
“Its all I have ever wanted for as long as I can remember.”
“Okay, Andy. In return for your lifetime of kindness and love for your fellow man, you are granted your wish. Once again you have chosen to be reunited with Kurt.”
“Thank you....oh, bless you and thank you. Im coming, Kurt,” was the last thing Andy heard himself say.
He woke up in Italy, a little shaky but feeling good. His memory of his former life and the time with the angels was quickly fading, gone for good in a few minutes. The memory of his soulmate, of Kurt, of Buddy, was deep in his memory -buried for now. He sat up in bed and looked around himself, feeling like he didnt know what was going on. His phone rang.
“Hello?”
“Blaine? This is your father. I just called to let you know your flight to the US is booked. Youll be going to Dalton Academy where your grandfather and his brother attended. I think youll make friends there you can count on for the rest of your life, pal. Sound good to you?” his father asked.
“Sure, Dad. Sounds like an adventure....” Blaine shook his head to clear the cobwebs. He felt as if he was waking from a dream, a dream where he was loved and cherished – with someone he loved back.