St Marys Ohio – Winter 2001

“Yes, but I could use the help,” Burt Hummel said into the phone to his mother-in-law. “I hate to ask, but I have to be at work for most of the day and Im afraid she cant cope with Kurt for that long. Okay, Mother. Yes, Ill come get you, sure. Ill be there Saturday morning,” Burt sighed into the phone, closing his eyes. It had taken everything in him to ask for help, but his back was against the wall and he had finally admitted to himself that there was no alternative. His wife, Elizabeth, had Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy and there was no cure.

It was arranged now with Elizabeths mother. She would come and help him with Elizabeth and Kurt. He stood up from the table, hanging up the phone and getting his jacket on. He had to pick Kurt up from school in fifteen minutes and he didnt want to be late again. He couldnt face seeing Kurt worried that he wouldnt be there for him.

“Hey, Kiddo!” Burt greeted his little son, walking over to where Kurt sat on the bench facing the playground.

“Daddy!” Kurt exclaimed. His mop of chestnut hair was just the shade of Burts own hair. He had a small spatter of freckles across his little pug nose and his wide smile could light up his face. Kurt was a little on the small side for a seven-year-old, but Burt figured he would hit a growth spurt in the next few years and shoot up. Both he and Kurts mom were tall people.

“What did you learn in school today?” Burt asked. He asked the same thing every day because Kurt loved to tell him all about his day and it was better than the days when he had to tell Kurt more bad news about his mother.

“We are starting fractions in math. I got it right away, so Mrs. Harper put me with Roger so I could help him. He has trouble in math. Then he watches out for me on the playground so I dont get pushed down on the blacktop,” Kurt explained.

“You get pushed down on the blacktop?” Burt asked his son, a frown wrinkling his face.

“Not any more. I used to when we played four-square. The older boys bounce the ball too hard and then I cant catch it to bounce it for the next guy. Ronnie and Grant pushed me over and I skinned my knee last week. Today when we were playing, Roger told them to leave me alone,” Kurt elaborated.

“That was nice of Roger,” Burt said, not sure of what else to say. Kurt had to find his own way at school without having his parents interfere. Burt knew that from grim experience last year. He had stormed into the principals office when someone had pushed Kurt down in the hall and sprained his wrist. The kid did it was suspended for three days, but the harassment of Kurt in retaliation lasted months.

“Whos this Roger kid? I havent heard you mention him before,” Burt inquired. He thought he probably knew just about everyone in the small town of St. Marys, but this name didnt sound familiar.

“Fuller. Roger Fuller. Hes new. He used to go to Frederick Douglas elementary, but he got thrown out, so now he goes to Roosevelt with me. They have a bus for those kids...Belinda is the new girl that rides the bus with Roger,” Kurt told his dad.

“Okay, buddy. So, everything else was good today?” Burt asked. Oh, so these were some of the kids being bussed from nearby Celina when their elementary school was flood damaged. He turned his attention back to Kurt, who was still talking about his day.

“Yeah, I guess so. I was tired after lunch and Mrs. Harper let me go to the nurse. She told me to lie on the cot, and I fell asleep for a while, then I got up and went back to class. It was okay because I was a chapter ahead in reading anyway. I was bored yesterday and read the next chapter,” Kurt explained to his dad.

“Im glad you like to read. You can be anything you want to be if you have a library card,” Burt quoted.

“Mommy says that,” he said, smiling.

“Yes, she does. And shes right. Okay, were almost home. Remember what weve been talking about, Kurt?”

“Yes, Daddy. I must be quiet and walk slowly in the house. I must let Mommy sleep. I have to be careful when I get on her lap. I bermember, Daddy. Im a good boy,” Kurt assured his father, a sweet smile on his face as he thought about his mother.

“The word is Remember, with an R sound, not Be-member,” Burt corrected and Kurt tried out the word several times.

“Okay, I RE-member the rules. Daddy, can I have a dog? Rachel has a cat. Its name is Sheila, and Noah told me today he has a dog named Saw. Thats a funny name, isnt it? Maybe he can get another one and name it Hammer. He said his dog is smart and can catch a Frisbee. That sounds like fun, doesnt it? To throw a Frisbee to a dog?” Kurt chattered on. Burt tried to answer as fast as possible, but Kurt had moved on in the conversation by the time Burt had formed the words to hold up his end.

“Were home!” Kurt crowed, anxious to see his mother.

He got out of the truck, stopped and took three deep breaths just like his dad had been telling him. He closed his eyes and stood very still. He could feel his heart beat, just like Daddy said. It was not going too fast like Mommys did sometimes. Kurt walked in the back door because his dad had parked in the garage after turning down the alley. Kurt didnt like to walk down the alley – there were some very scary dogs at the end of the block. They were behind a high fence, but Kurt had several dreams where the dogs jumped the fence and chased him.

Kurt entered the house, stepping quietly and removing his shoes in the mud room before stepping into the kitchen. He went straight to the refrigerator, looking for the fruit plate he had made for his mother that morning before school. She hadnt even touched it. He took it out, removed the plastic wrap, and then poured her a glass of milk. Taking both things in his hands, he went up the stairs to see his mom.

As he reached her door, Kurt could hear his father in the room, too. He hoped his mother was awake. If she wasnt, then Kurt would lie on the bed next to her for a while. Sometimes he fell asleep and she would kiss his cheek to wake him for supper.

He knocked with the toe of his shoe and his dad opened the door.

“Kurt!” his mother said in her quiet voice, but he could hear that she was excited to see him.

“Hi, Mommy,” Kurt said, walking slowly with the glass of milk and the plate of fruit. He set the plate on the bed and the glass on the table near enough for her to reach. “Can I climb up next to you?”

“Of course, baby. Burt, would you give him a hand?”

Daddy reached over and boosted Kurt up on the bed beside his mother. The little boy slipped off his shoes and got under the covers next to her, leaning back on the pillows.

“Oh, you brought me my favorite fruit plate. Look! Slices of nectarines, red grapes, are these apples from our tree? Thank you, sweetie,” she cooed at him, a smile on her lips as she took a strawberry and put it in her mouth. “Oh, this one was from our garden, wasnt it? I can tell by how sweet it is,” she said. Kurt grinned. His mother could always tell when the fruit came from their garden.

Burt left the room, making his way downstairs to the locked cabinet that contained Elizabeths medication. He put the little pills in a cup and locked the door behind himself, then brought it to her.

“Thank you, Burt dear,” she smiled at her husband, taking the cupful of pills and washing them down with the milk.

“Are you tired, Mommy?” Kurt asked.

“Not too tired. I was hoping I could read a book with somebody. What do you think?”

“I would read with you!” Kurt offered. He loved to read books with his mother. “Which one?”

Elizabeth thought for a moment. “I have it down to three books and I cant decide which one. Either The Egypt Game, King of the Wind, or The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe,” she grinned, already knowing which one he would pick.

“The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, please,” he said with enthusiasm. They were at the part where Edward was riding in the sleigh with the Evil Queen and Kurt had looked up exactly what Turkish Delight was at the school library today. He was excited to tell her about it and maybe ask if they could make some. The article came with a recipe.

Burt grinned at the two of them, then ruffled Kurts hair.

“Im going down to see about making supper. You guys read and in a few hours it will all be ready,” Burt smiled. He left the room, hoping Kurt would remember these good times in the days to come. The trip to the doctor that morning hadnt brought good news. The beta-blockers that they thought might lengthen Elizabeths life werent working, so the doctor had switched her to calcium channel blockers and increased the diuretics. It just didnt look good.

“And we could maybe make a few kinds! Turkish Delight can be lemon or orange and sometimes they make it taste like roses. I like roses, they smell good, but I never wanted to eat one. Sometimes they put nuts in the candy, but I dont want nuts. Unless you want them, Mommy. I would make Turkish Delight for you with nuts...pecans or pistachios? Then it had jello, but not the flavored kind. Are you asleep, Mommy?” Kurt finally asked, getting no response from his mother.

He looked over and saw her eyes were closed, then he studied how she was breathing. He didnt know what he would do if she stopped breathing, but he saw his father check it all the time. Her chest went up and down, faster than his did but that was usual. He pulled the sheet up over her shoulder and kissed her cheek.

“Sleep safe, Mommy, my love will protect you,” he whispered, using the phrase she said to him every night. He slid off the bed and walked back downstairs to see if he could help his dad.

~ ~ ~ KB ~ ~ ~

“Got everything you need?” Burt asked his son. They were loading the truck to go get Kurts grandmother. Burt had explained to Kurt that Grandma Reenie was going to be living with them for a while to help him take care of Mommy. Burt would go down to Kettering, just south of Dayton, where his mother-in-law, Maureen OBannon Whelan, lived and pick her up, bringing her back to the tiny town of St. Marys to live with them for a while. Burt liked her well enough, she was a feisty woman that came to America as a young child from Kilkenny, Ireland, and eventually married another Irish immigrant, Brian Whelan. Brian had passed away not long after Elizabeth and Burt got married, a year before Kurt had been born.

Kurt loved his grandmother, even though he rarely saw her, but Burt had hope they might become closer now.

“Ready?” he asked Kurt again, this time getting his attention.

“Yes, Daddy,” Kurt smiled. “I need to go kiss Mommy goodbye.”

“Sure, son. Make sure you use the restroom before you come back out, its a little over an hour away and I want to get to Dayton before we stop for lunch if I can,” he said.

Kurt ran back inside, remembered to be quiet, and walked slowly up the stairs. The nurse lady that came to take care of Mommy was here to watch over her until they got back this afternoon with Grandma. Kurt smiled at her before climbing on the bed to say goodbye.

“Were going to bring Grandma back,” Kurt said softly, running his hand down Mommys long, long red hair. It was soft and shiny today and it wasnt in a braid yet. Mrs McLaren, the nurse, was going to wash Mommys hair while they were gone.

“You know, Grandma Reenie used to have hair redder than mine,” Mommy said and Kurt grinned. He wished his was red, but Mommy said it was more like his Dads, a fiery chestnut that got lighter streaks in the sunshine.

“I love you,” Kurt said, kissing her on her soft cheek.

“I love you, too, Little Bit,” she said, then gave him a big smile and closed her eyes. She was so tired.

~ ~ ~ KB ~ ~ ~

“Ready!” Kurt announced as he climbed into the truck beside his dad. Burt patted his leg and leaned over to kiss the top of his head.

“Now, you watch the map here,” he told Kurt, pointing to where St. Marys was on the map, “And tell me when we pass through all the towns. Youll need to read the road signs. Which one is after St. Marys?”

Kurt studied the map. He had drawn a red circle around Kettering last night when they looked at the map, so he led his finger down the red and yellow line that meant a road. He looked closely and sounded out the letters of the name of the next town.

“New Breman?”

“Yes! See, I told you that you could be the navigator!” Burt enthused, hoping to get his sons mind off of the troubles at home.

~ ~ ~ KB ~ ~ ~

Reenie Whelan sat on her front porch, looking down the road to see if Burt was anywhere in sight. It was a bit early, but he tended to be early most times. Must be all that German blood, she chuckled. She loved to tease the man who said, “Im a Human...anything else is just an accident of circumstances”, which never failed to make her think she was too vocal in her praise of her homeland, her church, even her name.

She loved living in Ohio, but she had never been back to the Emerald Isle since she was a small girl and her dreams were filled with pictures of the green, lush land of her early childhood. Ireland lived in her heart, even if she didnt remember much more than the sea of green hills rushing down to the sapphire-blue harbor and nights sleeping in her bed in the cottage loft with the smell of peat fire in her nose.

She shook herself out of the daydream when the neighbors dog started to bark, opening her eyes to the sight of her grandson stepping down from Burts truck.

“Kurt!” she called out, struggling to get up from the chair. She had known it would be hard to stand up from, but sat in it anyway and now she was paying for her act of defiance. She smiled to herself for a moment before taking in her grandson.

“Grandma!” Kurt called out, so glad to finally get to her house. It seemed like a ten-hour trip because he forgot to bring his radio to listen to music. The trucks radio had been broken for years.

“Kurt, my sweet child. Come give Granny some sugar,” she said in her beautiful Irish lilt and Kurt put his arms gently around her neck and kissed her cheek.

~ ~ ~ KB ~ ~ ~

Kurt just about talked Grandma Reenies ear right off on the way home. No amount of Burt trying to reign in his son was working as Kurt talked non-stop to his grandmother. He told her about school and the classroom pets, about the boy, Roger, he helped with math. He told her probably his life story, even though she knew all about it already, he was able to make her laugh with delight when he got serious about his love for books and painting and music.

They settled Grandma into her new room, which had once been Burts den and held all of his trophies from High School sports, his fishing rod and fly-tying kit, his stacks of Popular Mechanics magazines that were filled with little slips of paper to bookmark projects he wanted to try but never found time to do. All of these things had been boxed and packed away in the basement storage room or the attic for one day in the future when they would be useful once again.

Kurt had tried to help his dad fix up the room. His dad had no sense of what matched with what and tended to mix flowered designs with plaid, jewel tones with baby pastels, and mismatched wood so the furniture looked like he bought it from a second-hand thrift store. Which he did. But even at the tender age of seven, Kurt had an inborn sense of balance and color that Burt would never understand and he allowed Kurt to pick the decorations for the room.

He must have done a fair job of it because Grandma Reenies face broke out in a smile that out-shined the sun when she stepped into the room. It was not overly big, but enough for her bed, sewing table, a few chairs and things to make it homey.

“Did you help with this, Kurt?” she asked.

“Yes, Maam,” he answered. His parents made certain he had good manners and Kurt enjoyed letting his grandmother know he could be polite for her.

“It is just perfect, sweetheart. Just perfect,” she said, walking over to touch the fabric of the white eyelet lace curtains and sweep her hand over the little rosewood table by the bed. Her eyes watered a bit when she saw the oil painting of The Kells Abbey near her childhood home in Kilkenny.

“I know Mommy wanted to see you right away, Grandma. Can I take you up to her room?” Kurt offered.

“Oh, yes, of course. Thank you,” she said, taking a deep breath. It was so hard for her to see her darling Elizabeth so sick, but Reenie was made of strong stuff and she was determined to show Kurt how to be strong for Elizabeth. She held out her weathered old hand and Kurt took it in his own little hand and led her up the stairs.

“Mam!” Elizabeth cried as she saw her mother enter the room with Kurt. She held out her arms to receive a kiss from her mother.

“My little darling,” Reenie said, pulling a chair close to the bed and taking her daughters hand. “Now, tell me how youre doing.”

Kurt snuggled under the covers with his mother, falling asleep with his arms around her neck as she talked with Grandma Reenie.