Cooper sat in the kitchen, wondering where Kurt might have gone. He thought he might have gone home, but there wasn't an answer when Blaine called, and Coop was pretty sure he wouldn't ignore Blaine's call. He wasn't at the hospital, and that didn't surprise Coop because Kurt was visibly upset and he was so careful about his dad, he wouldn't go there the way he looked. Plus, the way he looked.....Kurt was wearing yoga pants and a band t-shirt, and Coop knew him enough to know Kurt Hummel would never be seen in public dressed like that, unless he was wearing a paper bag over his head.

An hour went by, then two hours. Cooper had Blaine's phone, so he knew Kurt hadn't called. He began to think about everything he knew about Kurt, all that Blaine had told him in the past weeks. And the light dawned. Cooper got into his car coat and slipped on his Frye boots, found his car keys and left the house, leaving Blaine's phone on the bedside table.

Blaine was still in his room, pacing and thinking about calling someone to see if they had seen Kurt, but he had no idea who to call and he was pretty sure Kurt wouldn't go to cry on someone else's shoulder. He walked back to his bed and threw himself down, trying desperately to keep the thoughts of Kurt on the bridge at bay. He really didn't think Kurt was suicidal – but he also didn't know why he had run away, either. All the depressing thoughts just kept revolving in his brain. Those, mixed with images of what they had shared this afternoon, the tumble in the mud, touching and rubbing and kissing - which brought a bittersweet smile to his face. When the tears of frustration and worry started again, he decided to go and ask Cooper and made it out of his room and to the top of the stairs when he heard the back door slam.

Cooper took Blaine's BMW, checking the GPS to find the address that was already saved in the history. He pulled up, parking and getting out. He walked down the path, seeing no one, so he turned back and walked the other way. It wasn't a large graveyard, but with the trees and bushes, it wasn't easy to see ahead on the path very far. He saw a boy kneeling in the dead grass in front of a marble headstone, he had to look hard to see if it was him.

Kurt was kneeling in front of his mother's grave, the legs of his yoga pants soaked through and muddy on the knees. Cooper waited a moment to be sure Kurt wasn't praying and walked up behind him, sitting down on a marble bench at the next grave.

“You miss her, don't you?” he asked.

Kurt didn't startle, he knew someone had come, but he was surprised it wasn't Blaine. He turned his head, not sure what to say to Cooper.

“Yeah. I do sometimes. She was good to talk to,” Kurt said in a small voice.

Cooper looked at the dates on the headstone. “You were eight? That's a bad time to loose your mom, not that any time is good,” he said. “do you come here and talk to her often?”

“No. Just when I don't know what to do. Did...did Blaine send you? Is he okay?” Kurt looked at Cooper with his huge liquid blue eyes, his lip trembling.

“No, he didn't send me -he doesn't even know I came. He's asleep,” Cooper told him.

Kurt looked guilty and ducked his head. “Oh. I'm sorry. I'll talk to him. How did you know to come here?”

“He mentioned that you came here the night of the blizzard. The address was in the GPS, and I knew you wouldn't go see your father since you were upset. It was just a hunch,” Coop told him.

Kurt looked up at Cooper and held out his hand. Coop took it and pulled him to sit beside him on the little bench. Coop could smell alcohol on Kurt's breath and saw an empty shooter of Southern Comfort beside the headstone. He'd never known Kurt to drink before with the exception of a little wine with dinner. They sat for a while, Coop checking to be sure Kurt wasn't too cold, he'd just gotten over pneumonia after all. Finally, he took pity on Kurt and rubbed his back a little.

“Want to talk about it?” he asked, kicking the small empty bottle with his foot and looking at Kurt with raised eyebrows.

“No. Well, yes and no. I just think I made a colossal mistake – with Blaine,” Kurt said, looking down. “I was at my house and found that bottle in the cupboard, so I brought it to drink a toast to my colossal stupidity. It didn't work. One tiny shooter of booze really doesn't do much,” Kurt admitted.

“What makes you think you made a mistake?” Coop asked, although he already knew.

“I should never have flown off the handle like I did. I let what you said, about us doing things together, get to me. I panicked because I thought you were going to break us up. And I said I love him.”

“Well, do you?” Coop asked.

“Yes. That isn't the problem. It's that I never told HIM. Here I was, spouting off about how we feel, when the truth is that I don't know how he feels, we've never said those words to each other. So, while I might think he loves me, it wasn't my place to say that, not my place to assume it,” Kurt finished, shrugging his shoulders.

“You didn't give him time to react, Kurt. How do you know what he's feeling now if you just ran away and didn't stick around long enough to talk it out?”

“I was scared. What would I do if he doesn't love me? I don't think I could take that. I don't want to see his eyes telling me it was just that he felt sorry for me, that I mistook his pity for love,” Kurt said, tears starting to gather in his eyes.

“You can't run from problems, Kurt. They follow you. And drinking doesn't do anyone any good when it comes to solving problems. You're smart enough to know that, aren't you? I'm no therapist, but my life experience has taught me that much. You did affect Blaine. He's been crying since you left. He tried to follow you, tried to call but you left your phone on the table,” Coop related. Kurt grabbed for his jacket pocket, patting all of his clothes and finding no phone.

“Oh. I was so upset that he didn't call, I came here,” Kurt sighed, angry with himself and putting his face in his open hands.

“Blaine tried the hospital, tried your home phone. I finally got him to lie down in his bed and he cried himself to sleep. I am biased because I'm his brother, maybe, but I think you should go to him. You owe him that much because he loves you, too.”

“He does?” Kurt's eyes got wide.

“He told me, but I knew it already. Are you okay to drive?” Coop asked, but he could see Kurt was sober.

Yeah. I drank it over an hour ago and spilled half of it when I opened the bottle. I'm fine. I better go. Are you...are you going home now?” Kurt asked with a worried look.

“No, I think I'll go catch a movie. Probably a double feature. I'll be home later tonight, much later.” Cooper ruffled Kurt's hair, an action that would bring forth the worst of Kurt's wrath most times, but he kind of smiled and leaned in to Cooper's side.

“Thank you, Cooper. I wish I was as lucky as Blaine to have such a wonderful brother,” Kurt said, getting up to go. He waved back at Cooper who still sat on the bench while Kurt jogged back to his Navigator to go home to Blaine.

~*~*~*~*~~*

Blaine was still asleep when he felt the bed dip. He thought it was Cooper until he smelled a certain scent....a most pleasant odor that made his heart beat faster and his cheeks blush. It was Kurt's cologne and that scent was wonderful. He felt Kurt slip under the covers and slide his arms around Blaine and hold on tight.

“I'm sorry,” Kurt said, so proud he was able to say the words. Then he leaned forward to whisper in Blaine's ear, “I love you.”

Blaine turned to Kurt, only to have his arms pinned to his sides and kisses applied to his lips and chest.

Kurt had a bit to drink while kneeling in the cemetery and it was lingering.

Blaine closed his eyes to contemplate the whole thing, but nothing came to mind. Kurt was covering his face and neck with little kisses and it was making it hard to concentrate, especially since he had just woken up.

“I owe you an apology, Blaine,” Kurt started to say, then flapped his hand at Blaine when he started to argue. “No. I do. I lost myself in my self-righteous anger when I thought Cooper was trying to break us apart. He wasn't trying to do that, I just misread him and panicked. I have not been able to stand up for myself much in my life, and when I finally do - it is against someone who was in my corner and only wanted us to be safe.

“That said, I want to apologize for assuming I knew how you felt without talking to you about it. That was so unfair, and I should never have done it. So, I am sorry, Blaine, and I want to hear what you feel about all of this, because I cannot run on assumptions.”

Kurt sat back, arms crossed over his chest and knees pulled up to his chin.

Blaine just blinked, trying to unravel what all just happened.

“First, I have a few questions. Where were you?” Blaine asked.

“I went home for a minute to grab something and then went to the graveyard to talk to my mom.”

“Oh, Kurt. You were that upset? I wish I'd have known, I would have gone with you. Are you okay now?” Blaine asked, looking deep into Kurt's eyes.

“Yeah. It is comforting to me to talk to her sometimes. That's where Cooper found me,” Kurt said, settling down and shifting closer to Blaine in the bed.

“Cooper?”

''Yeah. He apparently found the address in your GPS. He was concerned about us,” Kurt said.

“Kurt, have you been drinking?” Blaine asked, looking really concerned.

“Just a little. Don't worry, it's not one of my many vices, it was a random occurrence, I promise.”

Blaine pulled Kurt closer and buried his nose in Kurt's neck, his shoulders starting to shake as he began to cry all over again.

“Oh, Blaine, I said I was sorry. I will be more careful with my words from now on, I promise,” Kurt sort of stuttered, patting Blaine's back.

Blaine looked up. “Kurt, I was so scared. I know you were upset, but you just cannot do that to me again. I didn't know what to think, I was so worried you might...might go back to the river.”

“Oh, no..I would never do that! I wouldn't because I......” Kurt stopped, afraid to say any more.

“You what?” Blaine asked.

“We never talked about it. We skirted the issue often enough, but we have not said the words to each other and I don't know how you feel. I think I do, but I don't want to assume something and find out I'm wrong. I don't want to force you to say anything you don't mean, either. Are you okay to talk about our feelings?” Kurt asked.

“Yes. I don't know why I never said it, either, Kurt. But I want you to know that even though we haven't known each other very long -less than a month, really, I feel like I love you.”

Kurt's smile was beautiful. His whole face just lit up and his eyes were the bright blue of a summer's day. He leaned close to Blaine and whispered in his ear, “I love you, too, baby.”

Blaine smiled, tugging Kurt closer to kiss him.

“You know, Blaine, Cooper told me he was going to see a movie tonight. A double feature,” Kurt said in a quiet voice. Blaine grinned. “Do you have a mud puddle in your backyard?” Kurt asked with wide eyes.

Blaine began to laugh, giggling and snorting.

“Oh, that's attractive, Anderson,” Kurt smirked, but he actually thought it was adorable and placed a kiss on Blaine's temple. Blaine turned his head to return the kiss, meeting Kurt's lips and then climbing on top of him to lay his chest closer as he let his lips slide down to Kurt's collarbone, giving open mouth kisses and licking the salty skin, making noises of contentment and lust as he went.

“Strip, cowboy” he said, reminiscent of the afternoon's reenactment of McLintock and the mud pit. Kurt laughed and complied, getting out of the bed and dancing around as he peeled off all of the clothes he was wearing, humming “Big Spender” as he went. Blaine sat up and whistled at Kurt, playing along, but when Kurt was done and dove back into the bed, Blaine was not playing any more. He put his hands around Kurt and dragged him to the head of the bed, covering him with kisses. Kurt slipped under the covers only to find Blaine, naked as the day he was born and wrapping himself around Kurt.

He kissed him again, there was never a time when Blaine didn't want to kiss Kurt. Well, there was also never a time when Kurt didn't want to kiss Blaine, so it worked out. Blaine was licking around Kurt's ear, nibbling on the lobe and breathing into it just to see the shivers appear on Kurt's arms. How hot was that? He went back to licking the ear and whispered, “I love you, Kurt”, which made the shivers come back along with a sigh of contentment as Kurt whispered back, “I love you, too, Blaine.”

“Do you remember we once said we wanted to do more, but not until we knew if we loved each other?” Kurt asked Blaine and Blaine kissed him one more time before answering yes. “Do you want to do it now?” Kurt asked, just the words making him stretch his muscles in anticipation as he felt a shiver of excitement flow over him.
“I do want to. Which.....ah, which way?” Blaine asked.

“Ah, well, you gave me the first blow job, so I think it only fair to let you pick,” Kurt said, trying for diplomacy.

“I don't know. Oh, I'll count to three and we can say which one we've dreamed about?”

“Blaine. You've dreamed about having sex with me?” Kurt asked, wide-eyed and mock-innocent.

“Argh. Try and tell me you haven't had any dreams about me, then,” Blaine retorted.

Kurt blushed. Blaine giggled.

“Okay, then, one, two, three.......bottom,” Blaine said.

At the same time Kurt said, One, two, three....top,”

“Oh. Well, that might just work out very nicely then,” Blaine said, very nervous.

He went to his drawer and took out a tube of lube.

“I thought you didn't have any of that, where did it come from?” Kurt asked.

Blaine blushed. “Ah, I got it on the way home from school yesterday.”

Kurt smiled. “I bet you were a boy scout, always prepared, eh?” he smirked. Blaine glared at him.

But it didn't last long, they were back in bed in no time and wrapped in each other's arms, kissing and petting, stroking and licking until they had lost all track of time or purpose. When the initial frenzy slowed down and they stopped to catch their breath, Blaine snuggled close to Kurt and just lay still, touching as much of his skin to Kurt's as he could. He whispered to Kurt that he loved him and Kurt whispered back for a while, just soft kisses as Kurt began to soothe his hands down Blaine's skin, swirling and stroking, exploring each part with kisses and fingers. He loved to feel Blaine and all the different textures of his body from the slight stubble on his jaws to the silky curls on his head, from the soft and pale skin on his inner thighs to the funny wrinkly skin between his legs.

He touched Blaine everywhere, pulling so many moans and noises from him, each one of which fed the fire of Kurt's desire until he was practically trembling when he got to Blaine's penis. Kurt took it in his hand, gently stroking and leaned in to kiss the head, his tongue coming out to flatten and lick a wide stripe up the underside from the base to the tip, then he opened his mouth to guide the stiff muscle into his waiting tongue, tasting Blaine and humming in anticipation. He spent a few moments swirling his tongue, lapping over the top and sucking just a little, then let go to kiss over Blaine's belly. Blaine cringed as Kurt moved his lips over the scars there, but he'd done it before and Blaine was not as sensitive about it as he had been previously. Kurt moved up to bite lightly on the right hip bone, sucking a purple-pink rose into Blaine's skin.

While he was occupied moving his lips over Blaine's nipple, he got the tube of lube and buttered his fingers and guided Blaine's legs apart on the bed. He had only read about how to do this, so he was very apprehensive about the possibility of hurting Blaine. His hand was shaking as he slid his lube-slick finger into the crevice to find Blaine's entrance. Blaine groaned loudly -which startled both of them and everything stopped for a moment. But Blaine made a noise of encouragement and Kurt moved once again.

He had never touched anyone like this, not even himself, and he was suddenly upset that he hadn't at least tried it on himself first. He didn't want to stop, but he had to ask Blaine something first, so he just laid his finger against the puckered skin and brushed his finger gently back and forth drawing circles around the ring of muscle, .

“Blaine?” He whispered, and Blaine jumped a bit, opening his eyes and turning his head to look into Kurt's blue eyes. He had a question on his lips, but didn't speak.

“I want you to tell me if it hurts, baby. I don't want to hurt you, so tell me. I'll stop, I'll move, I'll do anything you need – but tell me. Okay?”

Blaine nodded his head, as if he were under water or dreaming. Kurt hoped he understood, but vowed to himself to watch for anything that might be pain written on Blaine's face. He kissed Blaine's eyelids and went back to what he was doing, maybe a little more confident.

He moved his finger from just brushing back and forth to more pressure in circling the outside of the ring of muscle. Just this little thing, this touch, was making him crazy. His penis was so hard, it was throbbing and when Blaine made another sound, almost a squeal, Kurt was sure he was not going to last long enough to finish the deed.

He continued circling, the feel of the slick lube now beginning to wear off a little, he could feel the contact with the skin begin to drag a tiny bit, so he drew back his hand and added more. He forgot to warm it and Blaine jumped when he touched him, but the squeal was more excited.

“Oh...oh..” Blaine murmured, the contrast of cold on his hot skin was delicious. Kurt took that as encouragement and began to push his finger inside the ring. It was so different, smooth and soft like velvet and the temperature was much warmer and the tightness surrounding his finger made Kurt think about having his penis there and he had to stop and take a breath. He moved very slowly, watching Blaine's closed eyes for signs of pain, but there was none. He circled his finger, rubbing a bit and feeling the heat that was Blaine's insides where no one had ever been. His moaning was increasing, making Kurt more excited. Kurt began to move in and out a little, still worried about the pain, but Blaine seemed to just want more. So he asked about adding the second finger and Blaine nodded, now holding on to Kurt's arm and shaking a little. Kurt pulled his one finger out and then back in with the second finger. Oh, this was so intense, Kurt rested his cheek on Blaine's buttock, smoothing his cheek and turning his head just a bit to leave a kiss there as Blaine took in a breath. At this rate, they might never get to the intercourse part at all. And neither Kurt or Blaine cared. This was not just the means to an end, this was part of the whole and they meant to experience each and every moment.

They had progressed to three fingers and Blaine was starting to feel the burning that he had been a bit afraid of. His face reflected it, cringing just a tiny bit as he tried to hide it. It hurt, but not too much and he did not want Kurt to stop what he was doing.

“Baby? Are you okay? I can see it's hurting you,” Kurt whispered, his heart hurting from the thought he was causing Blaine pain.

“No, Kurt...don't stop. It's going to hurt, but it hurts in such a good way. I know that makes no sense, but it's true. It burns, but the pleasure is more intense than the pain and I want to do it so it won't hurt next time. Does that make sense?”

“Yes, but you'll tell me to stop if it gets too much. I'm going to hold still for a moment, and you let me know when to move again,” Kurt said, nervous again.

He held his hand very still while Blaine took several deep breaths. Then Blaine moved his hips back just a fraction to let Kurt know he was ready. Kurt added more lube, but warmed it first. He resumed the slow stretch of his three fingers, continuing the rhythm of going in and out as Blaine stopped shivering and began to breathe in an excited manner. “Ah...oh... Kurt....there, right there...ohhh..” Kurt couldn't stop until Blaine reached back and laid a hand on his arm to stop him.

“I'm ready, Kurt. Please, can you make love to me now?” he said in a throaty voice that went straight to Kurt's belly and spread warmth throughout his entire lower body.

“Okay, turn over,” Kurt asked, helping Blaine to get on his knees and spread his legs. Kurt had read this was the easiest way for them to do it the first time, and he was still concerned about Blaine's comfort.

Blaine was on his knees, hands on the bed and shoulders lowered towards the mattress as he arched his back in anticipation. Kurt took the tube of lubrication and added a lot to his hand, warming it as he reached down with his other hand to stroke Blaine's penis, moving his fingers back to gently fondle his balls and rub over the tiny but sensitive bit of skin behind them. He had covered his own penis with the lube, stroking a few times to make sure it was covered and leaned over Blaine's back, kissing down his spine and licking his tongue into the two dimples above his buttocks. He positioned himself and touched his penis to the dusky pink entrance, stretched for him and waiting. He pushed forward and it was maybe a little too fast because Blaine jumped and made a pain-filled jerk of air into his lungs, almost like a cry.

“Oh, my stars, Blaine, are you okay?” he almost shouted, jerking himself back and just catching himself before he fell off the bed.

Blaine was immediately sorry he'd made the sound, “No, Kurt..I'm fine. It was just a shock. Come back here, it's fine,” he mumbled, not knowing what to say to get Kurt back.

“What hurt?” Kurt asked, although he thought it was obvious.
“It's fine, it didn't really hurt, it was just...a shock that you are so big. I wasn't expecting it to feel like that. Let's try again, okay?” Blaine said with a whining need in his voice that convinced Kurt to try again.

He came back on the bed and got back into position as he reached under to put his arm around Blaine's belly to steady him and brought his penis in contact with Blaine's entrance. This time he did it slower and rubbed Blaine's belly as he did it to sort of give him something else to concentrate on if he needed it. It seemed to work because Kurt was able to slide in. It wasn't easy, Blaine was as tight as any virgin ever was in spite of the long time they spent stretching him, and it was all Kurt could do to go slowly. It was the most sensual torture Kurt could ever dream of. His mind told him to go slowly for Blaine's sake, his body told him to thrust for all he was worth for the friction it was starving for and his heart said to stop before he hurt Blaine.

Blaine was having a hard time with it, too, as he wanted it more than anything he had ever wanted, but it burned so badly his body said to run. He finally couldn't take the slow burn creeping along and just suddenly thrust backwards, burying Kurt to the hilt. The shock of the tight, warm friction on Kurt was just short of amazing Blaine thought, if the sounds Kurt made were any indication.

“Kurt, oh...do it, Kurt... not too fast, but move in me, please....” Blaine practically begged, meeting each of Kurt's thrusts with one of his own. The burning faded as the friction and heat began to glow inside Blaine and he was almost overwhelmed with the feeling of Kurt inside him. Kurt was still very careful, not to go too deep and not to thrust too hard, but kept a steady rhythm, moving a little to the left or right until Blaine made one of those sensual sounds, a throaty voice calling Kurt's name and then “Oh, there...there... don't stop, Kurt, ohhhh...there..” and Kurt's rhythm was met with a harder, faster rhythm as Blaine's body clutched Kurt's penis tighter and the throaty sounds increased and became Kurt's name and Blaine's penis began it's orgasm in Kurt's hand and the white-hot ball of fire in Kurt's belly that had been ready for the last few moments came barreling down his shaft and the feeling of an intenseness Kurt had never felt before, never even imagined before, overcame him and he thrust into Blaine harder until the two of them had ridden out to the ends, calling to each other and sharing the best thing they had ever experienced.

It took a few minutes for them to stop shaking, for their breath to return to normal, for their voices to remember how to work. Kurt pulled back, withdrawing his half-hard penis and wanting nothing more than to lie down with Blaine in his arms and sleep.

Blaine lay on his side, still breathing heavy and waiting for his heart to calm down, but he was able to turn on his side, facing Kurt and tug him close so they didn't loose the heat between them. Blaine pulled the blanket over their bodies and loosely wrapped his arms around Kurt, then closed his eyes. After a little while, he dared to open them, looking up to see Kurt looking back at him, his beautiful eyes resting on Blaine's face and a smile gracing his mouth.

“Kurt, I love you.” he managed to mumble before closing his eyes once again.

“I love you, too, baby.” Kurt whispered back.