Room for Two Hearts - Chapter Four - Patience and Fortitude

Kurt woke to find the Anderson Brothers sitting on the bed in front of him, Cooper with a cup of fragrant coffee and Blaine with a cupcake, complete with pink icing and a lit candle.

“Happy, happy birthday, baby...” they sang in preference to the traditional one.

Kurt laughed, “You know, until I was ten years old, I thought “Auld Lang Syne” was Scotttish for “Happy Birthday!” My mother always sang that to me.”

Blaine giggled. “I thought she was Irish? You sing Toora Loora Loora to me when I'm feeling sad.”

“Yes, she was Irish, but who doesn't sing Auld Lang Syne on New Year's Eve?” he asked, cocking his head to the side in question, and Blaine took in a breath, Kurt was so cute when he did that.

“Blow out the candle so you can make a wish!” Cooper encouraged. He didn't want sad memories to mar this day, he wanted his son and Kurt to have the best day ever in the best city ever.

“Okay...” Kurt closed his eyes and then opened them, blowing out the candle quickly. He turned to Blaine, who followed that with a small kiss to Kurt's lips, making him smile. “Wow, I didn't expect my wish to be fulfilled so quickly!” and Blaine and Cooper giggled.

“It's almost nine, you two get ready and we can be out of here in an hour to catch a bus to the Museum, okay?”

“Ah, Cooper?”

“Yeah, Kurt?”

“I was wondering, if, instead of going to the Art Museum, we might go to a different one?”

“Of course, it's your birthday...where do you want to go?”

“It's near Battery Park, the Museum of Jewish Heritage. They have a permanent display dedicated to the Holocaust. After meeting Sophia, I kind of want to see for myself a bit of what she went through. Is that okay with you guys?” Kurt asked, a little sheepishly, looking at Blaine.

“I'd like that, too,” Blaine said, looking imploringly at his brother...no, his father. Oh, would he ever get used to this?

“Okay, no problem. I'll call and get the information, you two get ready for breakfast. We can stop somewhere on the way.”

~*~*~*~*~

Kurt entered the museum, hand held tightly in Blaine's own. They knew it would not be a pleasant experience, but they both felt they had to do this, to honor Sophia, to understand just that little bit more of how she lived. Cooper was right beside Blaine and walking through the displays he leaned on Cooper from time to time, a sigh the only thing he could give, words just weren't enough.

Tears were in evidence when all three of them, but they thought about the life of their friend, little Sophia, who endured this hell, who lost everyone -including her beloved brother, Hans, who got up every day with fight in her blood, with strength in herself and lived in defiance of the Nazi regime and lived to help other survivors – for her they wept and felt unending pride.

They left the museum feeling so many things, but most of all, they wanted to see Sophia as soon as they got back to Lima, to gather her in their arms and tell her how much she meant to them.

After that, they saw the Statue of Liberty, and on to the Public Library -where Cooper took a picture of Kurt sitting on Patience, on the downtown side, then he took a picture of the Andersons, cuddled together on Fortitude, on the uptown side. There were more pictures: Blaine and Kurt hugging Fortitude, Cooper with his hand apparently in Patience's mouth (hard to do since both marble lions had closed mouths), and they even got a bystander to get one of all three of them sitting on one of the lions.

They went inside where Kurt just stood with his mouth open, gazing at all the stacks of books, his heart beating fast and awe stopping him from moving. He had seen pictures of the library, but this was so different. In the way that you cannot appreciate the grandeur of the Grand Canyon or the Pacific Ocean unless you've seen it yourself, he could not have imagined the grandeur of this building, of this space. He turned and leaped into Cooper's arms, startling the poor man, but Cooper took it all in stride as he hugged Kurt back and patted him, saying, “You're welcome, you're welcome. Happy Birthday,” until Kurt calmed down.

“Oh, Blaine, have you ever seen anything so spectacular? Broadway, The Fashion District, the Statue, the Library....this is like no other place on earth.” His eyes were shining and his happiness spread to everyone around him. Even strangers walking by stopped for a moment, many of them thinking of the first time they had entered the building past the grave and majestic lions, to see all the books. Someone snapped a picture and waved Cooper over for a little chat while Blaine and Kurt moved around the stacks to look at the books and breathe in the unique smell that was only possible in a library.

Cooper came back with a little grin on his face, but the boys were too engrossed to catch it.

~*~*~*~*~

They went back to the apartment for a short time to regroup and rest before going to a restaurant for a wonderful dinner. Kurt was a big fan of the cooking shows on television and he was a huge fan of a certain snarky chef that traveled the world. But this chef had started his career at a restaurant in New York, and Cooper took the boys to La Halle for steak. They had the best time, eating the best food ever and drinking wine, just enough to get happy, and had a great conversation about their futures, planning where they wanted to go to college, what they wanted to do, how they would spend their time together. They left well after dark, taking a cab to Times Square and mingling with the huge crowd there.

There were lights everywhere, people to watch, music to hear and it was all just overwhelming. At the end of the evening, the ball dropped, counting the minutes to the end of Kurt's birthday, to the end of another year, and Blaine took Kurt's face in his hands and kissed him with everything he had in him, Kurt doing the same until they had to break apart before they exploded.

“Happy Birthday, Kurt. I love you,” Blaine whispered in Kurt's ear.

“I love you, too, baby,” Kurt whispered back and they held each other until Cooper came and put his arms around both of them, just smiling at their overjoyed faces.

“I'm going to put you two in a cab to go back to the apartment, then I'm going over to my friend, Mike's place for tonight, Okay?” he asked.

“You don't have to do that...” Kurt started to say before Cooper interrupted.

“I haven't seen these guys in months and I miss them. I will be back sometime tomorrow afternoon, and here's a little something for you to celebrate with,” Cooper smiled, handing Blaine a bottle. Then he turned and whistles and a cab came close, he pushed the boys into the cab and tapped the roof for it to pull away from the curb. He waved at them as they disappeared into the New York traffic.

Back at the apartment, both Blaine and Kurt were walking on air. They had done more, seen more, experienced more -both good and bad, than they had ever done in so short a space of time. They put on music and danced in the living room in their stocking feet, then jumped in the shower and let all the dirt and dust from the streets run off their bodies, dressing in silk pajamas to sit for a while, drinking the champagne that Cooper had given them. They didn't drink it all, neither one wanting to get too tipsy, and ended up in the big bed, arms around each other.

“Blaine, I know we love each other, and we've been together for more than a year. How do you feel about me?” Kurt asked shyly.

“What do you mean? I love you. Unconditionally. What else is there to say?” Blaine asked, a little uneasy. Was Kurt having doubts?

“I know that, and I feel the same, but all my friends have had their 'first time'. And, well, we've never even talked about it.” his eyes begged Blaine to listen to him, to hear him.

“Are you unhappy with the way our relationship is going?” Blaine asked, his eyebrow raising.

“Oh, it's nothing like that. I'm very happy. But I was just thinking about, well, you know...”

“Oh. I think about that, too,” Blaine blushed.

“It's not like we're never intimate with each other, but that would just be, well, the one way I can think of to get closer to you, Blaine. But we don't have to do it, I'm fine with what we have now,” Kurt said, smiling at Blaine; and Blaine thought he really did mean it. But how did he feel? It was true he did think about it a lot of the time, maybe too much. He'd woken himself up too often, thinking about how it would feel, how it would bring them closer together. He sighed and nuzzled his nose into Kurt's neck so he could think a little more before he said anything.

As it turned out, he didn't have to say anything. Kurt understood and just stroked his back, rubbing those small circles into the skin the way he loved so much. He slid down under the covers so they were laying together and Blaine shifted so he was partially on top of Kurt, and kissed his temple, down to his jaw and across his neck, humming in a contented way as though he was ready to do this all night. He unbuttoned Kurt's pajama shirt as he went, kissing and touching and following the paths of muscle as they curved down Kurt's chest. He stopped for a time to lick at Kurt's nipple, so pink and raised to attention and Blaine loved it when that happened. He licked all around it before using his teeth to gently rub it, eliciting those wonderful sounds from Kurt's throat that made his skin break out in goose flesh.

Blaine moved down under the covers, pulling Kurt's pajamas off all together as he kissed his way over Kurt's sensitive belly. He moved to Kurt's thigh and kissed up the inner part where the skin was thin and soft, like rose petals. He rested his cheek on that thigh, closing his eyes to think if he was really ready for more than they had already done, ready to do the final act. Kurt had been patient, had never pushed him to do anything he wasn't ready for. He had patiently explained how things worked, had given him his pamphlets his father had given him. They had made discoveries together. If the pamphlets were a brief, only-physical outline of his parts fit together, their days of exploring were things he had never on earth felt he would experience. But for this, he was scared. Really, truly scared. He did not do well with pain, and he was afraid he would scream or have a spell because he would feel pressured -no matter how gently Kurt did it. But, he had always known he would do it one day and he knew no other way to prepare himself for it.

Kurt pulled him back up, worried because he knew Blaine was hesitating at a point he was usually unstoppable. Something was wrong.

“Tell me, baby, tell me what's wrong. We don't have to do this, you know,” Kurt whispered.

“I was just thinking...I'm sorry, Kurt . It isn't that I don't want you, it isn't that I don't want to do it, I'm just plain scared.”

“It's okay, We can stop, or we can just do a little then stop. Anytime you want, it's in your control. Okay?” Kurt asked, wanting it so bad, but afraid to push Blaine.

“Take off my pajamas, okay?” he asked, turning off the bedside lamp. Kurt took off Blaine's pajamas as requested, then just lay close to him, their skin touching from lips to toes, just touching, nothing else.

Their emotions were too close to the surface, it was too much to lie still, so they began to stroke and rub, kiss and lick, paying attention to every bit of skin, learning each other all over again. They whispered softly to each other, comforting things, loving things, until their hearts were singing and they couldn't get close enough – tugging to be in the same space at the same time. Blaine finally could not contain that longing anymore, and he took the little bottle of lubrication, buttering his fingers and stroking Kurt until he was gasping for breath, urging Blaine to give him more and Blaine slipped a finger in where he had never dared venture before. The moan and sigh that Kurt gave him back shook him to the core, never dreaming such a thing could be so sensual. His hand trembled and Kurt stroked his arm, calming him as he asked for more. Two fingers and Kurt was almost screaming his name, the fire in his belly burning so hot he had to find a way to either make it hotter or put it out.

Kurt was hardly able to articulate anything but moaning, but he was able to tell Blaine not to stop, and Blaine didn't. He kept the steady rhythm, his breath hitching as he thought about what he was going to do next, what he had to hurry and do before he lost his nerve...he had added a third finger, Kurt backing up to get more and Blaine slowing down so he didn't hurt the boy he loved. Kurt gently pulled his hand back, turning in his arms to struggle to find the little bottle, and took some into his own hand, stroking it onto Blaine thickly as he pumped his hand up and down, so that Blaine had to stop him or he wouldn't be able to control himself.

He stilled Kurt's hands and placed him on his knees and hands, kneeling behind him and leaning over Kurt's back, kissing him on his neck and gasping in surprise as Kurt bumped back into him, eager for the next thing to begin. He was trembling and Blaine was a little afraid, but he took himself in his hand and found the right position and pushed gently, The noise that tore out of Kurt's throat really scared him until he realized it was a lustful sound, a longing for Blaine to be inside of him, not a scared or pain filled cry. He pressed more, trying to be gentle in an activity that was not gentle, could never be accomplished in a gentle or soft manner. It required a certain roughness, a firm and strong action to get it done – and all the softness, the gentle and endearing parts had no place in this. So he gathered his courage, hearing Kurt's moans and begging for him to be inside him right now..and he shoved with all his might. Kurt screamed. Blaine froze. But after a tense moment, Kurt was panting, pushing back and wanting him to move. Blaine was out of the frozen fear and could only feel the velvet soft tightness, the warmth sinking into his body as the good feeling he had never imagined began to permeate his skin, his muscles, his brain. Oh, this was good, it was more than Blaine had ever dreamed and Kurt's calling him, begging for more...he knew it would only last a few moments, but he would remember it the rest of his life.

Blaine reached over Kurt's back, one arm holding his belly and the other stroking him, stroking him, stroking him...to the rhythm their bodied synchronized and Blaine participated without conscious thought because his mind was fully occupied with thrusting and listening to Kurt as he fell apart. 'Oh, Blaine...oh...there, there, there...oh..” nonsense things that came out of his mouth without permission, without thought until he stiffened, and Blaine could feel it in the way Kurt's belly was taut with strained muscles and then the breath he let go in ecstasy and Kurt came over and over, overwhelming Blaine whose body followed his love into that climax and they came down, Blaine finally falling on Kurt's back, resting for a while before he could pull back and then lie beside him, watching as Kurt's breathing returned to normal.

There were no words to say, nothing to do, that could end this, so they just lay in the bed together, arms comforting, breathing the only sound. Kisses when their breath was easy again. Closed eyes. They stayed together like that for over an hour before getting up to take a shower and putting clean sheets on the bed. They fell asleep, tangled together as always, and didn't wake up until Cooper knocked on their door the next afternoon.