“You can't pick out the pieces you like and leave the rest.

Being part of the whole thing, that is the blessing.”

Natalie Babbit, Tuck Everlasting

~

Kurt mumbled in his sleep, restless with the pain in his legs. It was more than simple saddle sores, the open blisters were now infected. Reaching to rub a spot on his right thigh, Kurt bumped into his husband.

“Hey, babe, are you awake?” Blaine asked.

“Mmmblgmgh,” Kurt half-replied, his eyes still closed and his mind not awake yet.

“Are you having a bad dream, honey?” Blaine whispered. It had been a while since Kurt had a dream bad enough to wake him, but it happened every once in a while ever since the bullies beat him up in high school. He had always said he was lucky that the incident had happened – otherwise how would he have ever met Blaine? - but Blaine was still sad that Kurt had such a bad time back in those days.

Blaine settled down once again, this time closer to Kurt. He pulled the love of his life closer, his husband's back flush against Blaine's chest, then gave him a few kisses in that beautiful thick chestnut brown hair and on down to the tender skin on the back of his neck. This was paradise indeed. Blaine hummed his content with his arms around Kurt's ribcage, his hands linked together in front of Kurt's belly. He didn't remember feeling this level of contentment until Kurt came into his life. He sent a quick thank-you up towards heaven with the thought that maybe his father – or maybe his mother - was still taking care of him.

After another hour of shut-eye, Kurt was once again whimpering in his sleep.

“Baby, are you okay?” Blaine whispered. He hated to see Kurt sad, even in his dreams. He turned on a flashlight, looking intently at Kurt's face, trying to determine if this required waking the man. He had fallen asleep several times yesterday and Blaine was worried he was getting seriously ill.

Kurt's face was pale in the dim light, and Blaine could still see that he was agitated. He was tensing his shoulder muscles, frowning from time to time. Actually, he looked more worried than angry or upset.

Blaine kissed Kurt's cheek, moving along to his jawbone and then down to his collarbone.

“Blaine?” Kurt asked, sounding lost.

“I'm right here, never going to leave your side. Can you tell me what's worrying you?”

Kurt was silent, apparently having fallen back to sleep. “Hey, babe....wake up and tell me what's going on,” Blaine coaxed. Kurt rubbed his eyes and then his whole face.

“I don't know...I get confused when I first wake up. Give me a minute and I'll talk....I need to start....Is that Katura?” Kurt mumbled, making no sense until he opened his eyes and looked right in to Blaine's eyes.

“Ah....Babe?” Blaine asked, staring at Kurt's eyes.

“Sorry...I was dreaming about Katura and I guess I didn't want to wake up,” Kurt apologized.

“No need to be sorry, honey. I miss her, too.”

“I keep wondering if she's okay – if she misses us. She isn't old enough to understand if they tell her that we're coming home to her in just a few days. She doesn't even know that we said good-bye to her before we left. I'm an awful father,” Kurt said, resting his chin on his knees that were pulled up to his chest.

“I guess I'm a terrible father, too. I did the same thing...” Blaine said, searching Kurt's eyes to know how he was really feeling. Did he honestly think they were bad parents?

“No...this is your job. When I have to go to work, she will be there with you. I was selfish to want to come along, I should have stayed home with our daughter,” Kurt mused. He felt as if he should be feeling guilty, and then he was feeling guilty that he wasn't feeling guilty enough...oh, this was too confusing! He just missed Katura and wanted to be home with her.

“She will be twice as glad to see us when we do get home. It isn't as if we left her with strangers! Grandma Sophie* has probably taken care of more babies that this mountain has trees, for god's sake! Plus, Noah is there, he has a good head on his shoulders. Well, he does now anyway. Lenore adores Katie, and Mrs. Warner will be visiting. I promise, Katie will be fine, babe, she will.” Blaine thought he had gotten his point across, he just wished he believed it as much as he wanted Kurt to believe it.

“You're right. We can't stay with her every minute until she's eighteen. And they do have the numbers of the doctor and everything. Okay...I guess we better go back to sleep,” Kurt mumbled, not looking at Blaine.

“She needs to learn that we are not the only people in the world who love her,” Blaine tried to bolster his point. “Are you really okay?”

“Yes. I miss being with her – she is growing into a beautiful person. Well, she already is, but I guess what I'm trying to say is that I need to be there to see it happen, you know?” Kurt asked, his eyes searching Blaine's for recognition of what he meant.

Blaine's honey-brown eyes were so sincere, Kurt felt a squeeze in his belly. Blaine's eyes were the first thing he saw when he woke up in the lumber camp after being taken off the empty railcar all those years ago, and he never forgot it. At the time he wondered if he had died and gone to heaven, the eyes were so sincere. Many times Kurt had closed his eyes when he was troubled and thought of Blaine's eyes. They gave him encouragement, showed how much Blaine trusted and loved him. At times Blaine's eyes turned almost black when he was turned on. Kurt thought he could probably have an orgasm just by looking into Blaine's lust-filled eyes. He palmed his crotch, knowing just that thought made him hard.

Blaine saw Kurt's hand disappear under the blanket and it wasn't hard to guess what he was doing considering the moan that escaped his sensuous lips. Blaine moved closer and brought their lips together. He didn't need to say anything, they knew each other too well by now and words just weren't necessary. Blaine followed Kurt's arm down below the blanket, finding his hand as it brushed over his erection.

Cuddling closer, Blaine took over and slid his hand under the waistband of Kurt's underwear to caress him.

“Mmmmm,” Kurt moaned, closing his eyes as he moved to deepen the kiss. He slowly touched Blaine's bottom lip with the tip of his tongue and Blaine opened his mouth, welcoming Kurt's soft tongue. Blaine went deeper as his hand did the same, holding Kurt's cock and starting to pump gently. It was more an offer of comfort than a means to bring him to climax and Kurt moved his tongue to rub alongside Blaine's. His hand, being relieved of its duty cupping Kurt's balls, was finger-walking its way across the sleeping bag to find that Blaine wasn't wearing any briefs. Kurt smiled.

Slowly they caressed each other. Tender, gentle strokes that felt good but weren't enough to make them pant and move on to frenzy. They were still sleepy and Kurt was happy with just the feel of comfort he was getting from Blaine. Blaine was also sleepy and meant only to bring Kurt's thoughts away from whatever had caused the nightmare.

Their hands and lips slowed down as they closed their eyes and relaxed into each other, resting in the small hours of the morning.

It was quiet in the tent. Balto was out roaming among the mules – looking for breakfast in the form of small, furry animals. He ran along a rabbit track, stealthy as a wild wolf and flushing the creature out of her hiding place. It was a short run before Balto caught her, flinging the rabbit into the air to break her neck in a quick death. The wolf-dog lay down to enjoy his breakfast before sauntering down to the pond to have a drink after consuming the salty blood of the rabbit. It was the wrong time of year for babies, so he didn't bother to sniff out the burrow as he would have in spring.

Opening his eyes, Blaine realized they had fallen asleep. He looked at his watch and calculated that they had been sleeping for several hours and dawn was due in less than half an hour. He blinked a few times, trying to think of what had happened to make them both awaken in the middle of the night. He realized he was gently cupping his husband's soft penis in his hand, which was resting on his warm ball sac. Blaine smiled. Kurt must have been exhausted to fall asleep when Blaine was holding him like this. He gently tried to move away in order to get circulation back in his hand. Upon getting his hand out from under the blanket, Blaine shook it and started to rub it briskly to get the feeling back. He hated the tingling pain from letting it fall asleep.

“Mmmmm,” Kurt hummed in his sleep, turning to be closer to Blaine. “Babe....” he mumbled and his muscles relaxed, making him press against his husband.

“I'm here, sweetheart...” Blaine whispered. His hand was back to normal so he put it back under the blanket and searched out the warmth he had been resting his hand in since last night. He wrapped his fingers around Kurt's slowly growing erection and tightened his grip to encourage it to grow more. Eventually he began to pump his fist, delighted in the response as Kurt's cock grew and hardened.

Slipping under the blanket, he took Kurt's briefs off and came back to slide his mouth down his erection. It wasn't often that he could wake up and be clear-headed enough to accomplish this before Kurt was awake and out of bed.

“Mmmmm,” Kurt moaned again, squeezing his muscles and stretching.

Blaine took him as far as he could, the tip brushing the back of his throat as Kurt woke, blue eyes big and full of lust. Blaine couldn't exactly smile at him, but he raised one hand and gave Kurt the thumbs-up to make sure this was okay. Kurt grinned and ran his fingers across Blaine's cheek. Then he kissed the tips of his own fingers, placing them on Blaine's cheek.

“I love you, babe,” Kurt murmured before closing his eyes as his orgasm grew closer – welling up emotions within the man. Blaine must have felt a change in Kurt's muscles because he slowly slid back, holding the hard erection in his hand instead and reached up to set his lips on Kurt's mouth for a brief second.

“I don't want you to come too soon, I have plans for that,” he smiled without a trace of a smirk.

Kurt raised his eyebrows in inquiry but Blaine didn't say anything. He got up from the sleeping bag and put out a hand to help Kurt to his feet.

“Let's go down to that pond and wash up, then I can get some food started for breakfast. It looks like Balto has already eaten his...” Blaine noticed, seeing the remains of the rabbit's blood on the fur of his chest.

A half-hour later, they were back in bed - this time sans clothing. Blaine was holding Kurt close, kissing down his neck and down to his chest where he explored with his lips and tongue.

“You taste good, babe,” Blaine said in between touching and caressing with his tongue.

Kurt just smiled back as his husband dipped down to kiss the taut belly right in front of him.

“I need to prove that you do, too,” Kurt said, rolling so he was on his hands and knees and moving over to place a kiss on Blaine's neck before latching on and then moving to give open-mouthed kisses to his waist. He dipped down again, his tongue out to enjoy Blaine's belly then over to run his mouth along the stiff erection he found.

“Oh, babe...there, that's it....” Blaine said aloud as his husband's mouth covered his erection and began to suck, running his tongue over the crown between sucks. Kurt closed his eyes and began to hum, knowing the vibration was what Blaine liked the best.

“Oh, oh, oh....” Blaine moaned, placing his hands on Kurt's head. “Stop...stop now, babe...”

Kurt stopped, pulling back but taking Blaine's cock into his hand so it didn't get cold.

“What's wrong?” he asked, surprised. Had he scraped him with his teeth or something?

“I want you, sweetheart, I want to finish with you,” Blaine said, pulling Kurt up even with him.

Kurt smiled. Leave it to Blaine to think of Kurt's pleasure when Kurt was giving him a blow job.

“Okay...top or bottom?” Kurt asked. Blaine was usually top, although they did switch from time to time.

“You pick,” Blaine countered.

Kurt hugged Blaine close, kissing him several times before laying down on his tummy on the blankets, then raising up to his knees. Blaine took the bottle of lube and poured a generous amount into his hand before landing a smacking kiss on his husband's left buttock. He hesitated before adding a second finger, and then a third.

“You okay, baby?” he asked and Kurt smiled over his shoulder before nodding his head in the affirmative. Blaine rubbed Kurt's back, working him open gently. He worried about the saddle sores and was careful not to run his hands down Kurt's thighs as he usually did.

“I'm ready, Blaine....” Kurt puffed out, his breath short from the excitement he was feeling.

Blaine waited, tip touching Kurt's entrance, and Kurt nodded. Blaine pushed just the barest inch inside. Kurt was ready for that. Sometimes Blaine's attempts to be gentle were exaggerated and it drove Kurt nuts, especially when he was as horny as he was this morning.

He took in a breath and pushed backwards, taking Blaine's cock in to the hilt. The moan that came out of Blaine's mouth was worth the brief stinging pain of suddenly being filled with such a large object. Blaine had reached a growth spurt after their wedding and Kurt was enjoying every inch. He grinned to himself and then steadied his knees to hold still while Blaine pushed in once again.

It was an embarrassingly short time before both of them were close to climaxing.

“Blaine....oh....” Kurt started to tell him he was almost there when he realized it was too late. Blaine was shaking with the force of his orgasm which brought Kurt to climax seconds later. Blaine was holding Kurt around his waist, hugging close to his back, his face on Kurt's shoulder blade. His hand was around Kurt's cock, feeling the vibrations and pumping slowly until Kurt was done.

Reluctantly letting go, Blaine sat down on the blankets and pulled Kurt into his lap.

“I love you, baby,” Kurt whispered, snuggling into Blaine. He hid his face in Blaine's neck and tried to calm his breath down. Blaine held him tightly, kissing his neck. They sat for a while, calming down after such a strenuous morning.

“I guess we better clean up – I don't want to sleep on stiff sheets tonight,” Kurt kidded his husband. Blaine laughed and picked up the blanket when Kurt stood up.

“I'll run down to the pond and clean the jizz off...it should be dry by tonight if we hang it in the sun,” Blaine offered.

“Really, Blaine? Jizz? That is rather an indelicate way of phrasing it, don't you think?” Kurt reprimanded him.

“Ahhh....?” Blaine was stymied for words. He turned to study Kurt's face for a full minute before Kurt couldn't hold his face neutral any more. He let a tiny smirk show on the left side of his mouth, then turned quickly so Blaine couldn't see it. Too late. Blaine caught it and a huge grin flooded his own face as he dropped the blanket in the grass and reached to tackle his husband, intent on tickling him until he cried uncle. He stopped short, worried about the open wounds on Kurt's legs and took Kurt into a big hug instead, kissing him speechless.

“Am I forgiven?” Blaine asked and Kurt grinned.

“Of course. Can I help you?” he asked.

“Nope! It will only take a few minutes, I think it will just take a surface wash to make it okay to sleep on. I'll be right back,” Blaine said as he pulled on a pair of his running pants. He winked at Kurt, knowing he didn't approve of running pants but Blaine had discovered them when he spent a year in Lima with Kurt's family.

He walked over to the pond, using his hands to cup water to rinse the residue from the blanket. It came off right away and Blaine was back in a few minutes, hanging the blanket in a beech tree with low sweeping branches. He was dismayed to find Kurt sitting next to the fire where he had added a few logs and stirred up the coals. Kurt was wrapped tightly in the other blanket, up to his ears and down to his toes.

“Are you cold, honey?” Blaine asked.

“Just a little bit. I'll warm up soon, then I can cook breakfast. I packed some sausages that Cookie made and a nice loaf of sourdough bread Shannon made. You won't have to catch our breakfast today!” Kurt said, trying to be upbeat but failing. Worried, Blaine came over to sit with Kurt on the log, taking the blanket and re-wrapping it so he was inside to cuddle against his husband. He put a cool hand on Kurt's head and it was warm – warmer than it should be.

“I think you should drink something....here, Shannon packed some cans of pineapple juice. Is that okay?”

“That sounds great,” Kurt agreed, watching as his husband snapped the cap open and handed him the juice. He drank most of it down in several gulps. One last swallow and the can was empty. Kurt put his head on Blaine's shoulder and closed his eyes.

“So, Mr Warner will be here tomorrow?” he asked. Blaine was supposed to meet with him at a place down the mountain and Kurt shivered at the prospect of sitting on a mule all day to get there. His legs hurt, the wounds from the saddle were infected and stung or burned whenever the slightest thing brushed over them. He was lightheaded with the fever and just wanted Blaine to hold him in his own bed with Katie beside them. He sighed.

Blaine got up to fix breakfast. Kurt needed to eat to retain his strength. He decided to leave Mr Warner a note at the rendezvous place and just get Kurt home. They didn't need to do any more surveying because Blaine had already finished that. With Kurt's help it was all done.

~

“Hey, baby. Here is some breakfast – sausages and scrambled eggs, and I toasted the bread and spread it with homemade cheese for you. Please, eat as much as you want. You need to stay strong,” Blaine said when he placed a plate in Kurt's lap. He gave Balto a glare and a hard nudge when the dog came to sniff at the plate.

“Okay, I'll try,” Kurt said, looking up at Blaine with heavy eyelids. He had dark circles under his eyes and just looked worn out. Blaine sat down next to him and ate his own breakfast. Before they were done, Kurt closed his eyes and leaned heavily on Blaine. He was asleep before breakfast was over.

Kurt blinked awake as Blaine settled him down on the sleeping bag, covering him with a warm blanket.

“I'll help with the dishes,” Kurt offered, but it was hard to even stay awake long enough to speak. His eyelids felt like they were weighted down.

“Babe, it's after noon. You slept through lunch. Are you hungry? I have a bit of rabbit soup left,” Blaine offered, his eyes full of worry.

“No, I'm too tired to eat. I'll just go to sleep,” he said as he drifted off. Blaine held his hand up to Kurt's forehead. It was even hotter than it had been this morning.

He went back to the fire and scooped up a bowl of the thick, hearty soup. He had made it with the leftovers from the stew, adding a few other ingredients like mushrooms and some noodles. He went back to sit next to Kurt, pulling him into a sitting position so he could eat something.

“Kurt, wake up for a few minutes, honey. I brought you some soup,” Blaine said. Kurt sat up, rubbing his face.

“Here, swallow these,” he directed and Kurt obediently swallowed the aspirin with a swig of pineapple juice from the cans Shannon sent. He ate a few spoons of soup, smiling because it was so tasty. His husband was a marvelous cook.

They sat in silence, Kurt sipping the broth and occasional piece of rabbit or carrot, until the bowl was half empty.

“I'm done. I don't think I can eat any more right now,” Kurt murmured. He wanted to hug Blaine, but it was too far a reach and so he just slid down to lay on the blanket once more.

Blaine slid down next to him, taking Kurt into his arms.

“I'm so worried about you, baby, I need to get you to a doctor,” Blaine whispered into Kurt's ear. Kurt just nodded.

Blaine sat back, holding Kurt close and thinking. He could leave Kurt here and ride hell bent for leather back to the house – or at least as far as it took to get a signal on his phone. That was risky, but maybe the only way. Or he could tie a note to Balto's collar telling Shannon to have someone meet them as he tried to get Kurt back, maybe including a map of his route here...

He finally decided to do that – setting Kurt down on the blanket and covering him with another. He took a page of his journal and made a map on it, showing the way he was going to go home along with GSP coordinates. He added a note that Kurt was sick, in need of a doctor. He put it in a small leather bag and tied it to Balto's collar.

“Okay, boy – go home! Find Shannon. Go HOME!”

Balto wagged his tail and looked at Blaine, then ran into the forest but stopped to look back.

“Go home, boy! Find Shannon. Balto - GO!” he shouted and the wolf-dog took off.

Blaine sighed in relief as he heard Balto making his way down the mountain in the direction of home. He turned to start packing up everything and securing it to Caesar and Maximus, placing the folded sleeping bag in front of the saddle on Claudius. Lucky for him it wasn't a Western saddle, so there was no saddle horn. Then he wrapped Kurt in a blanket and lifted him up onto the padding, mounting Claudius, and giving him a kick to get him started. He could hold Kurt on the mule even if he fell asleep now. He had seen the aerial map of the area and had a good idea of the quickest and safest way down the mountain.

~

Two hours later, Blaine pulled his mule to a halt and dismounted.

“Where are we?” Kurt asked, looking down from the back of the mule. He swayed and tried to correct his balance. Blaine was there to catch him and lowered him to the ground. Kurt swayed on his feet but managed to stand up.

“We are still on the mountain, but I wanted to make sure you had something to drink – can't have you getting dehydrated, can we?” Blaine smiled. He was still worried but didn't want Kurt to know.

Kurt nodded and walked over to Maximus to get a can of pineapple juice from the saddlebag. Blaine opened one on the other side and took out some beef jerky and an orange. They sat on a big rock and ate lunch, drinking the juice before they got back on the mule.

This time Blaine found it too hard to pull Kurt up in front of him on the mule. Kurt was dizzy and loosing consciousness. Blaine finally set him down on the ground and wrapped the blanket back around him.

“Here, take a nap, Babe, and I'll fix something,” Blaine said, looking around himself as he pulled some tools from the saddle bags on Maximus'. Kurt nodded his head and let his eyes close.

A/N: *I used my great grandmother, Cora Day, as a model for Grandma Sophie - that is her photograph. Cora lived with us when I was a child and she was a marvelous baker and a source of the best family stories ever. Here are a few more pictures. First two with her eldest grandson- my dad, George (1930s and 1940s). Then with some of her great-grandchildren (I am the one on the left in the swing) circa 1950s, and more of her great grandkids(1960s)...again I am all the way to the left, my sister, Debra, is on the right. The picture in the story was taken on her birthday in the 1970s.