Kurt began referring to it as The Wedding of the Century. Whenever he said it, Rachel would roll her eyes and Burt would cradle his head in his palms. But Andrew would also give him a sweet, lovesick smile when he said it, and try as he might, Kurt could never grow tired of those.

He didnt want to get married in a church. Andrew, still on his guard whenever they were outside of the apartment, didnt want to get married outdoors. Not even if it were on the beach, which was Kurts latest wedding fantasy. He kept waxing poetic about Andrew riding a surfboard, and Kurt riding a dolphin, and sweetly singing mermaids providing the wedding soundtrack... Andrew tended to tune him out when mythical creatures made an appearance in the plans.

In the end, oddly, it was Eddie who came up with the solution. The three of them were sitting at a round table in The Daily Grind, Kurt and Andrews favorite coffee shop, as the engaged couple argued about the perfect location for the wedding.

"I dont want something grandiose, Kurt," Andrew said firmly.

"How can I pull off The Wedding of the Century if its not grandiose?" Kurt asked, his arms flailing dramatically.

"Itll be the best wedding of the millennium, because its ours." Andrew sighed. "I want something small, honey. Not something that... attracts a lot of attention. Just our closest friends, and your family."

"What about your family?" Eddie asked. "Arent they coming?"

Instantly, Kurts frustration dissipated at the sorrow in Andrews expression. He reached for his hand, and grasped it tightly. "Something small," he promised. "Twenty, thirty people tops. There are tons of places where we could have it. Places that are special to us."

"You guys should have it here," Eddie said, slurping at his coffee. "I mean, look, your favorite Thai place is right next door. They could cater the dinner part, and The Daily Grind could provide the lattes and mochas afterwards. Theres plenty of comfortable seating, and you could hold the ceremony on that little platform up front where they let grungy folk singers perform..." He trailed off at the strange look on Kurts face. "What?"

And then Kurt was peppering his cheeks with excited, grateful kisses, and Eddie was yelling in horror, and this was really, really happening.

The arguments were almost constant.

Kurt had read enough wedding planning guides to know that engaged couples fought all the time. It was normal. But normal engaged couples didnt have to deal with the sorts of situations that he and Andrew were facing in the midst of their planning.

Like whether to invite their old Warbler friends to the wedding.

"They were your best friends in high school, remember?"

"Of course I remember, Kurt! But they havent heard from me in years. What am I supposed to do, call Wes and David up out of the blue and say Oh, hey, we used to be really great friends, and then I skipped town without notice and didnt talk to you for like three years, and now Im marrying Kurt and we live in New York and my name is Andrew, and by the way, dont ask any questions?"

Kurt didnt push it. He knew when to pick his battles, and he was saving up his leverage to insist that Andrew wear tails to the wedding.

It still made him sad, though, that Andrew wouldnt have anyone there for him at his own wedding.

"Excellent choice," said the jeweler, as they pointed out the wedding bands they wanted. "Its very popular nowadays to have something inscribed on the inside of each band. Many of my customers get their fiancés initials engraved there. Would you two like to do that?"

"That sounds great," Kurt said brightly.

Andrew frowned. "Can we have a minute?" he asked the jeweler, who nodded and moved down the counter to help another customer.

"Whats wrong?"

"We cant put each others initials on the rings," Andrew sighed.

"Why not?"

"What are you going to do, Kurt, get P.S. and B.A. and A.M. all in a row?"

Kurt blinked. "Oh. Right."

"Lets just both get Hummel on ours."

"Why would I get my maiden name on mine?"

Andrew squinted at him. "How are you a maiden?"

"You know what I mean. Ill be changing my last name to McCarthy after the–"

"No you wont."

"Of course I will!"

"The hell you will! Im taking your name!"

"This is stupid, Andrew, you–"

"No, Kurt! For once, I want to have a last name that actually means something to me!" Andrew burst out, before turning and stomping out of the store.

Kurt chased him halfway down the block before he caught up, startled by the tears in Andrews eyes. "Oh, honey..."

"My family wont be there," Andrew choked out. "I dont even know if Ill ever be able see them again. Please, Kurt, lets both be Hummels together. At least that way Ill have some of my family there when I marry the love of my life."

In the end, they compromised on the rings. Andrew bought a lovely band with the inscription "Hummel," and Kurt bought a matching one with the inscription "Courage."

The night before the wedding, Andrew insisted on staying at Eddies dorm room, so that he and Kurt wouldnt have bad luck from seeing each other before the ceremony. Finn, Mike, and Puck came over to Eddies as well. They played video games and drank beer and laughed hysterically, and for the first time, Andrew felt like they might really be his friends, too.

Refusing to let Kurt be alone, Mercedes, Rachel, Tina, Santana, and Brittany descended upon the apartment, holding an impromptu slumber party in his living room. It felt like high school again. There were board games and wine coolers, junk food and Truth or Dare.

"Truth," Kurt said.

Brittany asked, "Do you ever miss Blaine?"

The other girls had figured it out – some more quickly than others – but Brittany had never quite caught on.

"All the time," Kurt admitted.

"Do you wish that you were marrying him tomorrow, instead of Andrew?"

"Britt-Britt, lets make a beer run," Santana said, getting up and dragging Brittany with her. "All these pink wine coolers are gonna make Hummel grow a vagina. And we know his man doesnt want none of that." They ducked out the door together, leaving the others behind.

"Do you wish it?" Rachel asked softly. "That you were marrying Blaine?"

Kurt nodded, hesitantly. "Just... I mean... things were easier back then."

"If you call being bullied and taunted and shoved around easier," Mercedes said.

"Compared to now? Yeah, thats easier."

Burt walked Kurt down the aisle, beaming with pride. Kurt was wearing a fabulous white vintage McQueen suit, while Andrew wore a black tuxedo with, yes, tails. Mercedes and Rachel were the bridesmaids, and Finn and Eddie were the groomsmen.

Puck had gotten certified online to perform marriages in New York, which had seemed sweet until he started off the ceremony with, "The greatest gift you can give to someone you love is buttsex," and Lauren yelled out, "Never gonna happen, Puckerman!"

Kurt closed his eyes briefly, and then felt Andrews fingers lace through his. He opened his eyes, and met Andrews gaze. They could hear the New York City traffic even through the closed doors, and the air smelled like roasted coffee beans and steamed milk. Scott was in the back row with a video camera, recording the ceremony to show Andrews parents, and Sue Sylvester – who somehow, despite not being invited, had shown up – kept commenting loudly, "This wedding is so gay."

Andrew smiled warmly at him. "Its perfect, isnt it, Kurt?"

It really was.

They hadnt been able to decide on a honeymoon destination, so theyd put some money into a savings account and agreed that once they could find a place that was both relaxing and safe, they would go. It was with some surprise, then, that they ran into Scott after the reception, where he was waiting by their limo.

"Ready for your honeymoon?" he asked, opening the door for them.

Kurt looked at him guardedly. "Whats this about, Scott? Andrew and I arent taking our honeymoon yet."

"Youre both on break from classes. Can I steal you away for a few days? Take you to a safe, secure destination?" He raised both eyebrows pointedly.

"You..." Andrews eyes grew wide. "Wait. Are you saying–"

Scott nodded, smiling. "Lets call it my wedding gift to you."

The limo took them to a waiting private airplane, which was far too small for Kurts taste. He gripped Andrews hand nervously for the entire flight. The shades were lowered on all of the windows, so there was no way to tell where they were going. But the weather was decidedly warmer when they were led, blindfolded, out of the plane and into a waiting car. Then it was another long ride, until they finally got out and were led into a house.

"You can take off your blindfolds," Scott said.

Kurt didnt even have his blindfold untied before he heard Andrew let out a sob. By the time hed taken his off, his new husband was already in the arms of an older couple who were hugging him desperately. He watched them, feeling his heart swell.

Finally, Andrews father broke away, and strode over to Kurt. Kurt offered his hand, but it was brushed aside in favor of his own hug. "So good to meet you," he said, and Kurt mumbled the same into his shoulder.

"Im Cameron Sanders," he said, pulling back and grinning. At Scotts pointed cough, he added, "I mean, I used to be, anyway. Were not supposed to tell you our current names, so you might as well call me Cam."

"Its nice to finally meet you, Cam," Kurt said. He was surprised at how tall Andrews father was. But then his tiny mother came over, and the genes made more sense.

"Kurt," she said warmly, kissing him. "My new son-in-law. Im so happy for you both."

He looked over at Andrew, whose cheeks were streaked with tears of joy, and smiled widely. "Were happy too."

They spent three days with Cam and Dalisay. Scott gave them a strict order not to leave the house, but it was unnecessary. Andrew was perfectly content to spend the waking hours talking with his parents and watching their wedding video, and Dalisay was eager to teach Kurt how to make her sons favorite Philippine dishes. On the last evening, he cooked a meal of chicken adobo and pancit, with bibingka for dessert. Dalisay delightedly claimed it tasted just like her mother used to make.

Kurt was sure that Andrew would be miserable once it was time to leave. To his surprise, though, his husband just hugged his parents tightly and walked with a spring in his step to the waiting car, slipping on his blindfold.

"Youre okay?" Kurt asked tentatively.

"Im great," Andrew replied. "My parents are safe, and they love you, and I just married the greatest man on earth. Life couldnt get any better."

As the years passed, they slowly began to relax. The hit order was still in effect, but Cameron and Dalisay were safe, and there was no way Castellanos goons would find Andrew before they found his parents.

It was still unsettling, though, to know there was a price on his head. Every so often, Kurt would check the Wikipedia page on Cameron and Perfecto Sanders. While the page did mention the bounty offered for their capture, it also listed the last sightings of each of them. He found it strangely comforting to look at the site and think about the bounty hunters who were focusing their searches in Los Angeles and Dallas, Rome and Switzerland.

Privately, Kurt was surprised their cover had never been blown. His friends werent known for their discretion, and interest in the West Coast Mafia and Marco Castellano was still high, even five years after the trial had ended.

A new rendering of Perfecto at twenty-five was released with the latest hit order, and to Kurts horror, it bore a faint resemblance to Andrew. So they grew his hair again, treating it with expensive straighteners and pulling it back into a low ponytail. Kurt highlighted it again and made him use tanning lotion until Andrew looked like a surfer boy. They laughed and kissed and ignored the clawing sense of worry in their stomachs.

Kurt was sure hed forget himself somewhere, and call Andrew "Blaine." Or that during sex – which was the only time he allowed himself to say "Perfecto," hed be too loud and someone outside their apartment would hear him. He was afraid hed stiffen up when hearing about the Castellano case or San Francisco in public.

There were a hundred different ways he feared hed blow their cover. In the end, though, when Marcos henchmen found them, it was because of a mistake hed never even considered.

But thats another story.