Kurt spends much of the drive to Lima using my cell phone to text back and forth with his stepbrother, giving him strict instructions on what to wear. "You wouldnt believe how often Finn shows up in something that clashes with my outfit," he tells me, pausing only to take a sip from his Evian bottle. "Its like every time I wear rose or mauve, he just has to wear a rusty orange. And then we invariably end up sitting next to each other, and the eyesore, my god, the eyesore..."

I drift in and out of the conversation, nodding absently as I drive. The night is cold, and theres patches of black ice to look out for. But more than anything, Im thinking.

Kurt and I used to have sex.

We used to have sex a lot.

He knows what I look like naked.

Hes seen and touched and probably tasted my—

"You all right?" he asks.

"Fine," I choke out. I can feel a blush traveling up my neck, and hope he cant see it.

I know the basic mechanics of sex. But with two guys, how do they decide who is the bottom, and who is the top? Which would I have been with Kurt? What if I dont want to be that one anymore? Will Kurt still want me if I suddenly ask to switch? What if he pretends to be okay with it, but hes secretly disappointed?

"You sure? Your face looks weird. Are you too warm? Do you want my water?" He holds out his bottle, but I shake my head.

"Yeah, no, Im fine. Thanks. Fine."

We spend the rest of the drive in silence, except when Kurt quietly tells me when to turn. He keeps looking at me. I wonder what hes thinking.

We arrive at Breadstix early and decide to wait for Kurts family outside. He leans against the brick exterior of the building, still sipping from his Evian. Im trying not to stare at his full red lips, sucking at the mouth of the bottle, so I shift my gaze downward instead. Hes so long and lithe, with legs that seem to go on forever. What did he use those legs for? Did they brace against the footboard, or wrap around my waist? Still fighting my blush, I lean against the wall too, trying to recall that flash of memory I had last week in Kurts bedroom. I remember that he and I were naked in his bed, for sure, but I cant seem to figure out who was inside of—

"Okay, spill it." Kurts staring at me intently. "Whats wrong?"

"Nothings—"

"Dont do that. We have to be honest with each other. Youve been acting strange ever since we left the apartment. Did you not want to come to dinner with my family?"

"No, of course I wanted to come. I like your family."

"Was it because of earlier? On the couch? Did I push you too far?"

"No, you—"

"Just tell me. I can handle it." He sits and waits, while I work up the nerve to ask him the question. Hes just taken another drink of water when I speak up.

"When we had sex, was I the top or the bottom?"

He chokes, coughing hard and dribbling water all over his coat. It takes a good minute or so for him to stop coughing, and by then we can see his family walking up from the parking lot. Kurt leans closer to me, wiping his chin and hissing, "Well talk about this later." I nod weakly as Carole reaches us first.

"You shouldnt have waited out here," she says, pulling us both into a tight three-way hug. "The parking lot is so poorly lit... and besides, its much warmer inside the restaurant."

"Its okay." Kurts cheeks are a flaming red. "The cold is kind of refreshing."

"I thought you said cold air was bad for your skin," Finn pipes up, towering over all of us, and Kurt glares at him.

"Seriously? You never remember any of my skincare advice, and now you—"

"Lets go inside," Carole says, smiling brightly. "Im dying for a glass of red wine." She links arms with Kurt and leads him into the restaurant. Finn is right behind them.

Im about to follow when I feel a hand squeeze my shoulder. I turn to see Burt standing beside me, his eyes bright. "Cant tell you how nice it is to see the two of you together again," he says.

We walk into the restaurant together, and although his hand leaves my shoulder after a moment, I can still feel its warmth.

The hostess grabs several menus and leads us to a booth in the center of the restaurant. Kurt and I slide into one side, Burt and Carole into the other, while Finn pulls up a chair to sit at the end. "This your first time back to Breadstix?" Burt asks me, and I nod.

"Youve gotta try the breadsticks," Finn says eagerly, pushing the container toward me. "Theyre really bad."

I throw a questioning look at Kurt, then take a breadstick from the canister with a shrug.

Kurt sighs. "Theyre always stale, no matter when you get them. How is that even possible?" He takes one too, attempting to nibble on it daintily. I have to look away after a moment, because Ive had way too many images of Kurts lips wrapped around long, cylindrical objects tonight.

"Maybe we shouldve had dinner at home tonight," Carole murmurs, frowning. She seems distracted, looking around the restaurant. Maybe shes expecting to see someone she knows here. "Seems a shame to finally have the whole family back together again and be eating stale breadsticks... I could have made pot roast at the house. You all love my pot roast."

"Come on, Mom, we havent been here in weeks," Finn says. "Well have your pot roast tomorrow night." He stops and considers. "Unless Sarah forgives me by then and I can go back to her apartment. In that case, youll have to do dinner without me."

"Whatd you do this time?" Kurt asks him.

"Nothing."

"Finn."

"Well, it was her birthday last week..."

"Dont tell me you forgot."

"I did not forget. I totally remembered..."

"Okay..."

"... the next day," Finn admits. Kurt throws up his hands and starts berating him, so I lean forward to talk to Carole.

"I love your blouse," I tell her. "It really brings out the color of your eyes. Where did you get it?"

"Actually, Kurt picked it out for me," she replies. "How did you two do on the drive down? Were the roads okay? Any black ice?"

"Not too bad," I reply. "How about you?"

"Oh, fine."

"Um... so..." I drop my voice a little lower. "I just wanted to thank you for your hospitality last night. I know I sort of crashed your family dinner, and—"

"Blaine," she interrupts. "Youve been a part of this family for a long time. Well always have room for you at our table."

I think, suddenly, of my own family dinners, with Dad carving the meat while Mom and I clap for him. They seem so stiff and formal in comparison. "Im sorry about the waterworks, too," I say, even more quietly. "I almost never cry, I dont know what got into me."

Carole reaches across the table to squeeze my hand briefly. "You were worried about Kurt. And every single person at that table knew exactly what you were feeling. If Kurt hadnt called last night, we probably would have reported him missing."

"Really?"

"Its... I cant even explain to you what its like to have a child, an extension of yourself out there in the world. You want to protect them every minute of the day, but you just cant. It was tough enough when I just had Finn, but Kurt is so much more vulnerable." Her eyes grow glassy, and she swallows hard. "That night... the night you two were attacked..."

"You dont have to—"

"Its every parents worst nightmare." She clears her throat, then takes a deep breath. "Burt and I cant help but worry, even now. Weve tried to move forward, for Kurt, but certain things are still really tough — like letting several hours go by without hearing from him, or going to a public place and wondering if the attackers are nearby. "

I glance around then, too. It never occurred to me that with the attack happening in Lima, Carole is right — its more than likely that our attackers were locals.

"Okay, sorry about that. Someone had to advocate for the poor girl." Kurt has evidently finished admonishing Finn, and he leans toward us curiously. "Whatd I miss?"

Carole seems flustered, so I jump in. "I was just complimenting her on that lovely blouse," I supply. "She said she had some help picking it out."

"Doesnt it make the green in her eyes pop?" he sighs. "What can I say, I live with a real-life muse."

"Yeah right." She laughs, snorting indelicately. "Ooh, I almost forgot—" She roots around in her purse, then pulls out Kurts cell phone and hands it to him. "Do you have a charger at Robs apartment?"

"Yup, Im all set. Thanks so much." He slips the phone into his pocket, then opens a menu to share with me, pointing out the various entrees. "Okay, so youre safe with any of these pasta dishes, but Id stay away from the beef if I were you. Finn got really sick the last time he got a cheeseburger here."

"Exploded from both ends," Finn calls over helpfully.

"You also get either a soup or a salad with your meal. Their minestrone soup is pretty good."

"Oh..." I shake my head. "Im actually not a fan of minestrone."

Finn peers at me over his menu. "Since when? You always get the minestrone here."

"Sometimes peoples tastes can change after a brain trauma," I tell him.

"Seriously?"

"According to my doctor."

"Weird."

We place our orders with the waitress and sit in a strange sort of silence. Finn is texting someone on his cell phone, Burt is munching on breadsticks, and Carole is still looking around at the other patrons in the restaurant. She seems to be focusing her attention on the back corner behind me. When I turn to look, I see a table of college-aged guys in football jackets.

"Im going to the bathroom," Kurt announces. "Ill be right back."

He gets up and heads for the back of the room. I turn to Finn, who seems like my best bet for conversation, but before I can ask him anything, Carole says, "Finn, go use the bathroom."

"But I dont need to pee—"

"Now."

He scurries off after Kurt, and we sit in silence again. I concentrate on drinking my water, trying to ignore the worry gnawing at my stomach. Whats going on?

In another minute, Kurt comes marching back, looking furious as Finn hurries after him. "This again?" he demands, standing by the table with his hands on his hips. "Are you serious? I thought wed finally gotten past this nonsense."

"Kurt, sit down," Burt says, looking at the corner table with a frown. "The food is gonna come soon."

"Im nineteen years old. I dont need a bathroom buddy—"

"Kurt, please," Carole pleads. "Youre making a scene."

I look around, but no one seems to be paying us much attention. Then I catch sight of a familiar figure, sitting at a booth on the far wall. Hes watching us with dark eyes, sipping at a soda and ignoring the girl sitting across from him. I look away and try to ignore the flutter of unease in my stomach.

What is that guy from Scandals doing here?

Kurt finally sits down next to me with a harrumph, and Carole manages to perk him up with a conversation about what sort of haircut she should get at the salon this week. Kurts in his element, talking about highlights and layers and the value of a good mousse, so I sneak another peek over at the guy. Dave, I think. Hes still watching us, his jaw set tightly.

All of a sudden, a wave of nausea hits me. I feel like Im going to be sick. "I need to use the restroom," I murmur to Kurt. He slides out of the booth, then points me in the direction of the mens room. Carole doesnt insist on a bathroom buddy for me, I guess, because Finn doesnt follow after me.

I enter the bathroom and stand in front of a sink, gripping the sides of the porcelain. My reflection in the mirror looks pale and drawn. Turning the old knob on the sink, I run the cold water, cupping my hands under the faucet and splashing some handfuls onto my face. It helps with the nausea, thankfully. I breathe deeply and straighten up, catching the reflection of Dave standing right behind me.

"Jesus!" I spin around, flustered. He steps closer, lurking over me. "What do you want?"

"Why did you come here?" he asks through gritted teeth. "You dont belong here. This is my town."

"Its my boyfriends town, too, he lives—"

"You dont deserve him."

"What?"

"You had your chance with Kurt, and you forgot about him. You shouldnt get to have him back." His hands fold into fists, and I back up against the cold sink behind me. "It should be me out there with them. Me making nice with his family, me going home with him afterwards."

I gape at him. "You... you know Kurt?"

His nostrils flare as he takes another step closer. I want to scream or run, but my legs feel weighted down and its a struggle just to breathe. "Listen very carefully," he says, but whatever he starts to say is interrupted as the bathroom door bangs open.

"Oops, doors lighter than I thought." Finn is standing there, wearing a sheepish smile. "Mom wanted me to check on you," he says to me. "You feeling okay?"

"Yeah," I murmur, shaken.

"Hey, Karofsky, whats up?" he nods, and I feel the world start to shift under my feet.

Karofsky.

Dave is David Karofsky.

I grip the sink behind me harder. No one says anything, and the silence seems to clue Finn in that something is wrong. He opens his mouth hesitantly. "You sure youre okay?"

"Uh... not feeling so hot," I admit. Finn frowns with concern, coming over and leading me out of the bathroom. I dont dare look behind me to see if Dave is following us. "I need some air," I tell Finn, walking fast toward the front door. Then Im outside, breathing in deep lungfuls of freezing cold air as fear and fury wage a battle inside my chest. Ive been out here a couple of minutes when I hear someone approaching.

"Blaine?" Kurt walks up, cocking his head. "Finn said youre not feeling well. Whats wrong?" He puts a hand on my forehead, then my cheek. "You dont feel warm... but youre shaking all over, honey, you must be cold—"

"You dated Dave Karofsky?" I demand. His face falls, giving me a clear answer. "Seriously? The guy who bullied and sexually harassed you in high school? I read all about it in my journal. That guy made every day at school a living hell for you. You had to transfer to Dalton just to get away from him."

"I know..."

The door swings open again, but its just Finn, coming to lurk awkwardly a few yards away from us. I guess hes a parking lot buddy tonight, too. "Everything okay?" he calls.

"No, Finn, everything is not okay," I say, digging my hands into my hair, scraping my thumbnail against my scar. "I just found out that Kurt tried to replace me with the guy who roughed me up last week, so excuse me if I need a minute to process everything."

"Wait, what?" Kurt looks stunned. "What happened?"

"I tried talking to him at Scandals, and he shoved me up against the bar."

"Dave did? Did... did he hurt you?"

"No, he—"

Finn turns on his heel, sprinting back into Breadstix. "Oh no," Kurt breathes, grabbing my hand and pulling me after him. By the time we make it into the restaurant, I can see Finn hauling Dave out of his seat by the collar of his jacket. The girl across from him is protesting, and Carole and Burt are getting to their feet in alarm, but Finn doesnt seem to notice any of that.

"Did you lay a hand on him last week?" he demands. "Did you shove Blaine?"

Dave lifts his hands. "Whoa, calm down, Finn—"

But Finn is far too furious to calm down. He drags Dave outside to the parking lot, swatting away Kurts attempts to stop him. "You picked on my brother in high school," he fumes. "Youre picking on Blaine now... what exactly do you—" His eyes widen slowly. "Oh my god. It was you."

"What?"

"You attacked them last year."

"I—"

Finns fist flies out, connecting hard with Daves cheek. "You son of a bitch. You could have killed them—" He punches him twice more before I reach him, throwing my arm around Finns waist and holding him back.

"Finn!" Carole cries, running out with Burt on her heels.

"Stop," I mutter firmly into his ear. "Stop. It wasnt him."

"He was threatening you in the bathroom, wasnt he? I thought something was weird when I came in—"

"He didnt attack us, Finn. I promise."

Hes still breathing hard and glaring at Dave, whos doubled over, clutching his head defensively. "You dont know that," Finn says.

"I do know."

"How?"

"Because hes in love with Kurt."

"What?"

"Hes in love with Kurt." I can feel the shift in Finns body as he considers what Im saying. "Think about how badly Kurt was injured in the attack. You couldnt do that to someone you loved. Dave hates me, yeah, but he would never have laid a hand on Kurt."

Its silent in the parking lot, but for Daves harsh breaths. Finn finally lifts his hands in surrender, and I let go of him. Were still standing there when Daves dinner companion comes out, wearing her jacket and a stormy expression.

"Lets go," she says to him abruptly.

Dave straightens up, one hand on his cheek. "Cassie—"

"I dont want to hear it, Dave," she snaps. "I have never been so humiliated in all my life." She marches off into the parking lot, and after a quick glance at Kurt, Dave hurries after her.

Finn and I turn back to Kurt and his parents, who are watching us with inscrutable expressions.

"Finn, ride with Kurt and Blaine to our house," Carole says tightly. "Ill get our server to wrap our dinner up to go."

"Mom—"

"Dont argue with me." She looks at Burt. "Youll walk them to their car?"

"Of course." He wraps his arm around Kurts shoulders. "Finn, youve got Blaine."

"Yeah."

Kurt looks close to tears. "Dad—"

"Its not your fault, bud. Lets just get you home."