Waking up next to Kurt is nothing like I imagined.

He must have turned over at some point during the night. Hes been using my bicep as a pillow, so my entire arm is numb. My mouth tastes like Ive been chewing on an old sock, and Im fairly sure I have a raging boner. He shifts against me, burrowing closer, and now Im positive that I have a raging boner. Its all I can do not to moan aloud. Im in desperate need of some mouthwash, and about five minutes locked in the bathroom with some lotion and my right hand. Except that I still cant feel my right hand. I try wiggling my fingers, but that just makes Kurt stir.

"aine?" he murmurs.

"Ssh, go back to sleep," I whisper, carefully extracting my arm from under him. He whimpers a little at the loss of body contact, which would make me feel bad except for the glorious relief of being able to feel my fingers. Ill just slip off to the bathroom, surely Kurt has a spare bottle of lotion in there—

"Mmm." He lets out a hum of contentment, wrapping his leg over my hip and bringing us flush together. Like... flush together. In an instant, I find that Im not the only one with an erection. At this angle, we fit together snugly, and five minutes in the bathroom arent necessary. A good sixty seconds would be sufficient. "Blaine," he sighs again, his leg tightening around me as his hips begin to move slowly against mine.

This is not good. As a gentleman, I need to put a stop to this right now. Kurts not even fully conscious, and— "Ohh, god, right there," I groan as he grinds harder.

"You like that?" His voice is so low and sultry, raspy from sleep. "Ylike that, baby?"

"Guhh, yeah," I gasp. "Yeah, I like it."

He grasps my shoulder and rolls me onto my back, slotting his legs between mine and rutting in earnest. His eyes are still closed, but I think hes awake. I hope hes awake. "Feels so good," he says, kissing my neck sloppily and thrusting faster. "Fuck, Blaine."

Theres that word again. That thing guys do in the bathroom at Scandals. That thing Kurt thought I did with Sebastian. That thing complete strangers can do to each other—

"Stop," I choke out. "Please, stop."

He freezes, his eyes opening slowly. Then theyre wide, so wide, and hes scrambling off the bed in horror. "Oh my god, Im sorry, Im... oh, Blaine, Im—"

"Its okay." I sit up awkwardly, pulling my knees up against my chest.

"Its not okay, I..." He covers his groin with both hands. Id laugh at his expression if I werent so thoroughly embarrassed. "I didnt realize it was you." My jaw drops, and he rushes to clarify, "I mean, I knew it was you, I just thought it was—"

"The old me," I finish.

He nods miserably. "Im so sorry."

"Its okay. Really."

"You must think Im some... some sexual predator."

"Youre—" This time I do laugh, covering my face with my hands. "Youre really not." I can feel the bed shift as he sits down gingerly on the other end. "Kurt... I do want to do things. With you." I peek at him from between my fingers, and he gives me a tentative nod, so I drop my hands into my lap. "I really do. Its just that Im so new to all this. I just had my first kiss last week, in the hallway by your kitchen. This is all happening really fast, and I want to make sure that when we do that, were both awake, and ready. And that its not just... just fucking. I need it to mean something."

I expect him to look dejected, but instead theres a fond smile spreading across his face. "Ill never understand why you say youre bad at romance," he says.

"I am bad at—"

"Youre the biggest romantic I know. Almost as big as me." He crawls back to lie on his stomach on his side of the bed, keeping a respectful distance between us. "Well go as slow as you want. I promise. Even if you dont ever want to go any further than kissing."

"I do," I blurt out, then feel my cheeks grow warm. "At some point, I mean."

"Then we will. And when you have your first time, well make sure its exactly how you imagined it would be. Because you did the same for me."

"I did?"

"Oh yeah. You were ready way before I was. But you waited, because youre a gentleman. You told me thats why they invented masturbation."

Im really blushing now. "I said that?"

"You did."

"Who did I think invented it?"

Kurt laughs. "I never thought to ask."

I sigh, straightening my legs and lying down on my side, watching him. "This part must be weird for you."

"Youll have to be more specific — a lot of this is weird for me."

"Well, the first time around, we were virgins together. And then we... werent virgins, together. You never had to worry about things like this."

He nods. "Theres some adjustment, yeah. But there are some perks, too."

"Like what?"

"Like..." He folds his arms and rests his cheek on them, gazing at me. "Youre not the same person anymore."

I furrow my brows in confusion. "How is that a perk?"

"When you first start dating someone, you start learning about them. Figuring out if youre compatible. Uncovering each others little quirks and seeing if you find them adorable or repugnant."

"I still dont..."

"I got to fall in love again." He swallows. "After I lost you, I thought that was it for me. I thought Id never get another chance at having something real. And then you showed up at the Lima Bean, and you were you, but not you, and I didnt know if wed still fit together, but..." His smile is slow and genuine. "Youre not the same person anymore. Youre a different Blaine, and Im in love with you. The you that you are now."

My throat feels so tight. I didnt realize how much I needed to hear this. "How can you tell?"

"When I was here yesterday, waiting for you, I kept thinking about what would happen if you suddenly got your memory back. Not those little spells here and there, but everything. I used to cling to that hope, that your memory would someday come rushing back and youd be the same old Blaine that you were before the attack. But when I was sitting in here yesterday, looking around at our old photos, I finally realized that I fit better with you than I would with old Blaine. Ill always love him, but when I think about who I want to spend the rest of my life with, its you, not him."

I swallow thickly. "That was my wish," I murmur.

"What?"

"When we were playing that Getting To Know You game, you asked me what one thing Id wish for. That was what I wanted most — to know that you wanted to be with me. That you werent just settling for close-enough. I wished for it so badly."

"Hmm," he says, his eyes bright. "Maybe Im a genie after all."

My heart swelling, I lean over to kiss him softly once, then twice. Then I pull back abruptly. "Oh, god, my breath. Im sorry."

He chuckles, smiling warmly at me. "One of those things you just get used to, after a while. You hungry?"

"Yeah."

"Breakfast?"

I nod, stealing another quick tight-lipped kiss. He hops out of bed and uses the bathroom for a few minutes while I grin dopily at the ceiling. He loves me. He loves me.

Once hes out and heading for the kitchen, I go into the bathroom, relieving myself before brushing my teeth vigorously. When I emerge, I notice my journal, still sitting on the little table by my bedroom door. I pick it up and bring it with me, whistling as I enter the kitchen.

"Todays special: Pop-Tarts aux fraises," Kurt says, handing me a plate and kissing my cheek. "Be careful, theyre hot."

I grab a couple of glasses and fill them with milk before joining him at the table. We sit close together, eating and sneaking shy glances at each other. I notice the clock on the microwave and blink in surprise. "Hey, its almost noon. Shouldnt you be at work?"

"Not today."

"But its Monday..."

"My dad told me last night that I should take a few days off." He licks a bit of strawberry filling off his fingertip. "He said you needed me here more than he needed me there."

I smile gratefully. "I knew I liked him. Are we going to see him again soon?"

"Sure, if you want to." He nods toward my journal, which I left on the kitchen counter. "You planning to read that today?"

"I was thinking about it. But if youre going to be here—"

"No need to entertain me. Ive actually got to work on my college essay."

"Youre applying to college for next year?" I ask with delight. "I didnt know that."

He finishes his last bite of Pop-Tart, looking pleased. "I just decided last week. I mean, the main reason I stuck around here this year was in hopes that wed find each other again."

"And now we have," I murmur, reaching out to hold his hand. "You know, I applied to five schools in New York."

"Really?"

"Yeah, my parents made me submit all of my applications by Thanksgiving. It was a pain at the time, but now Im glad I got it over with. Where are you applying?"

"A bunch of places. My top choices are NYADA, NYU or Parsons, but Id be happy at pretty much any of the schools. As long as Im in New York."

"With me?"

"With you." He squeezes my hand. "God, its going to be so amazing. We can get an apartment together — I mean, if you want to—"

"I want to."

"We can perform together at open mic nights... go window-shopping on Fifth Avenue... get rush tickets for Broadway shows... hold hands on the street without worrying about someone trying to—"

"Its going to be perfect," I interject, before he can finish. "But youve got to finish your applications before they can take you. Have you started the essay?"

He shrugs. "I had one. It was about music and fashion and... I thought it summed me up pretty well."

"So why not use it?"

"I thought Id take a stab at writing about what we went through. Now that theres a happy ending."

I grin at him, waggling my eyebrows. "There is, isnt there."

Rolling his eyes fondly, he jumps up and plants a loud kiss on the top of my head. "Can I use the computer in our room?"

"Of course."

I watch as he leaves, then turn and look at the journal sitting on the counter. It seems silly to admit, but I know why I havent wanted to read it before now. I was jealous of the old Blaine. I thought Kurt preferred him over me. Now that I know that Kurt loves me, Im curious to see whats in there.

After clearing our dishes and stacking them in the dishwasher, I grab the journal and head into the living room. Its a little chilly in here, so I grab the blanket off the back of the couch and wrap it around myself.

The journal starts off really boring. Sorry, Old Blaine, but youre boring. Hes talking about some research paper he has to write for World History, and how his right uppercut is coming along, and how Wes says the Warblers arrangement of "Teenage Dream" needs better choreography—

But oh. I sit up straight.

Theres a spy.

I smile broadly as I continue reading. Old Blaine feels sorry for the poorly-disguised spy. He talks about Kurts troubles at school with some bully named David Karofsky, and his advice that Kurt should confront the guy.

I frown at the page. Thats terrible advice. Old Blaines an idiot.

I flip ahead, noticing how more and more pages are mentioning the name Kurt. There are doodles of birds and a heart with K+B in it (lame), and then a long, long description of their first kiss. I feel a sharp twist of jealousy in my gut, and have to remind myself that Kurt loves me. Me, me, me.

Theyre together for a long time before Sebastian gets mentioned:

I went to Dalton today, to ask the guys if theyd come to McKinley to see me and Kurt in West Side Story. When I arrived, they were running through a nice rendition of Billy Joels "Uptown Girl." Great energy and harmony, though their new soloist Sebastians voice is a little too nasal for my taste. He and I are supposed to meet for coffee sometime, so he can ask me about leading the Warblers. Not sure how I can help — I was never a member of the Council. But hey, once a Warbler, always a Warbler.

Sebastian starts to pop up more often. He meets Kurt and Old Blaine at Scandals, which goes pretty terribly. He keeps hitting on Old Blaine, and I cant quite tell if Old Blaine likes it. But then he and Kurt make love—

I stop and glare at the page for a while. Then I skip the next five pages, because the word "lube" does not need to be mentioned that many times.

Kurt wanders into the living room in the late afternoon, while Im engrossed in a section about his campaign for senior class president. He leans over the couch, kissing my forehead, lips, nose, lips, cheek, chin, lips, lips...

"Just pay me back, with one thousand kisses," he sings, and my eyes widen.

"Did we sing that? Together?"

"You remember?"

"No, I just... always said I wanted to sing that duet with the man I loved."

"We did. We sang it a lot." He leans down again, and I kiss him back slowly, savoring the slide and pull of our lips. Somehow I dont think this feeling will ever get old. "Stop distracting me, I need to work on my essay," he whispers, nibbling at my bottom lip.

"Then go away," I shoot back, my tongue darting out to lick his lips. He groans and kisses me again before pulling back.

"Maybe I should write my essay about what its like to kiss you."

"Make sure you mention my morning breath from earlier."

He snickers, waving as he heads back to the bedroom.

I turn back to the journal, thumbing past a lot of love-sick drivel (really, Old Blaine, who says the word twitterpated anymore?) until the name Sebastian starts popping up again. Hes started texting Old Blaine, asking him out. Old Blaine flat-out says hes in love with Kurt and not interested in dating Sebastian. Then it starts getting really interesting.

...Sebastian texted me fifteen times today. He keeps telling me Im making a mistake, choosing Kurt over him...

...Sebastian sent me a naked text of himself this morning. I almost sent a reply telling him that Kurt is several inches longer, but that wouldnt have been polite...

...Kurts getting upset about how often Sebastian is texting and emailing me. I told Sebastian to stop, but so far hes not listening. Not sure how to get through to him...

...Last night, my cell phone rang at 2:14 AM. It was Sebastian. When I answered, he whispered, "Leave him alone, or youll get whats coming to you." It was really unsettling. Kurt slept through it, and I havent told him about it yet. Maybe Sebastian was just drunk. Some people act pretty stupid when theyre drunk. (I kissed a girl, I should know)...

...I finally told Kurt about the middle-of-the-night calls from Sebastian. There were five last week alone. Whenever I answer, I try telling him to stop calling me, but he just whispers creepy threats into the phone. Kurt thinks I should talk to the police. I tried asking Dad to have AT&T block Sebastians number, but he just said the Smythes are a well-connected family. Like that should even matter...

"Im bored."

I look up to find Kurt standing over me. "What?"

"Im booored," he pouts.

"What about the essay?"

He lifts up the blanket and curls up next to me. My arms go around him automatically as he nestles his face in the crook of my neck. "Its too hard to write. I keep trying, but Im not getting anywhere."

"So youre going to use the old one after all?"

"I dont know. Maybe Ill try again tomorrow. Im too distracted today."

"By what?"

"Your collarbone." He leans forward to nip at it, and I laugh, poking his side.

"My collarbone wasnt in the room with you. How exactly did it distract you?" He doesnt answer, his mouth too busy sucking on my neck. Hes good at that. Really, really good. My ragged breaths start coming faster as he licks and sucks and whimpers softly against my skin. All too soon, I can feel a familiar tightening in my stomach, and pull back reluctantly.

He looks up at me, his lips looking rosy and delicious. "Too much?"

"A little," I admit.

"K." He presses a quick kiss to my cheek before jumping up off the couch. "We should get ready anyway."

"For what?"

"I have to pick up my phone in Lima, and Carole sent me an email inviting us to join them for dinner. If you want to."

"Of course!" If nothing else, itll be nice to prove to them that I can eat a meal without breaking down in tears. "At their house, or a restaurant?"

He shrugs. "Depends on whether Finns there. He always wants to go to Breadstix."

"Whats Breadstix?"

"Limas version of the Olive Garden. You still in?"

"Sure, just give me time to shower and shave."

He smirks and opens his mouth, then shuts it abruptly, his eyes wide. "Okay."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Kurt."

"Its nothing."

"You were about to suggest that we shower together, werent you."

"I..." He sighs. "Im sorry. Old habits die hard."

"Its okay. Im sure Ill get there one day." We smile at each other awkwardly. "Ill take Robs shower, you can use our bathroom."

"Thanks."

I grab some clothes from the bedroom dresser before heading for Robs bathroom. Just before I turn on the shower, I can faintly hear Kurt turn on the other one. My mind flashes to an image of him, naked and wet and lathering up his gorgeous body with a soapy loofah...

Groaning from hours of pent-up arousal, I climb under the rhythmic shower spray. The water is hot, and in the steamy shower stall its easy to imagine Kurt standing behind me, thrusting up against my ass firmly. It only takes a few pulls before Im grunting and coming hard against the wall, my knees shaking with the force of it. I rinse it off and rest my forehead against the tiled wall, catching my breath and wondering if one day might be coming sooner than I think.