Oct. 6, 2012, 10:39 p.m.
Take these broken wings and learn to fly: Chapter 19
K - Words: 1,996 - Last Updated: Oct 06, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 33/33 - Created: Jun 13, 2012 - Updated: Oct 06, 2012 818 0 3 0 0
“So have you thought about NYADA?” Rachel asked before another booty camp when October started to roll around. Kurt startled at her voice. It just came out of nowhere and it was still a little weird to talk with her.
“I have,” Kurt answered and he didn’t even lie. He really had with those last few weeks. “And I’m extremely thankful for you but I don’t believe that I’m good enough to get in..”
“You’re ridiculous,” Rachel stated with the strong voice. “You’re amazing and you know that.”
Kurt stilled at her words. “I never thought I would hear this coming from Rachel Berry.”
Rachel shrugged. “Well, you made sure I’d know that in our sophomore year.”
Kurt swallowed, feeling quilt building up in his chest along with kind of funny memory. This reminded him that he and Rachel still weren’t exactly friends. Sure, they could talk more freely now but Kurt hadn’t even apologized for yelling at her in New York. He really wanted to apologize, he did, but he couldn’t find any right moment for that. Was there even a right moment for apologizing?
“Thank you Rachel, but let’s face it,” Kurt said then and turned to look into her eyes. It wasn’t easy, looking directly at Rachel was rather tense. “I would have nothing to write into my application. I mean, for example, you’ll have the lead of school’s musical, but I have nothing.”
Rachel nodded and Kurt assumed that it was the end of their discussion when he turned away from her but Rachel’s voice echoed behind him again.
“You know, it doesn’t have to stay for nothing,” she uttered. “You could still run for the class president.”
Kurt groaned and stopped to turn at her again. He didn’t like talking about this, not even with Blaine who was chatting with Mike few meters away from them.
“And run against Brittany, who happens to be one of the most popular girls in the school?” he inquired. “It would be fighting for the battle that I already lost.”
“But why do you assume, that it’s the end of the war, Kurt?!” Rachel exhaled in frustration which made Blaine shot them a worried look.
Kurt watched girl in shock but Rachel just breathed and closed her eyes for a moment before speaking again. “This is the saddest part of you. You don’t fight anymore, you’re not the Kurt Hummel, you’re just.. Kurt.”
For some reason these words made Kurt ache in pain. For some reason these hurt him.
“Brittany is just a very popular but not so smart blonde girl, who probably won’t even graduate,” Rachel continued with lowered voice as she made sure that no one could hear her. “You can do so much better that her.”
Kurt blinked twice before he realized that Rachel had finished and Mike started with the camp. It was an awful morning to hear Mr. Shuester yelling at Mercedes, but all that Kurt could remember was Rachel and her words.
“Are you okay?” Blaine asked later that day when Kurt had stopped in front of Brittany’s poster on the wall. “You’ve been really quiet today and now you’re.. staring at Brittany’s poster. Plus, I’m pretty sure I saw you staring at it before.”
Kurt shook his head and started walking again Blaine by his side.
“I want to run for the class president, I really do,” Kurt admitted then with a heavy sigh.
“But..?”
“But I don’t think that I can beat Brittany, she’s too amazing. And there’s the thing that Rachel said that I’m just Kurt now and even though I know I’ve changed, it still hurt and..”
“Kurt, stop,” Blaine said. “Stop and listen to me.”
Kurt stopped the rambling and tried to breathe as Blaine turned to put his hands on Kurt’s shoulders.
“Kurt Hummel, for the start: you are amazing too. You. Are. Amazing. You hear me?”
Kurt smiled. “You’re the boyfriend so it’s kind of your job to tell me that.”
Blaine smiled back but didn’t pull his hands away. He just lowered those and stilled them at Kurt’s arms.
“Well, it’s not the only reason I’m saying that. You really are amazing. And you can beat Brittany if you want. I mean, don’t give me wrong, but she’s performing songs to girls to get their votes. If you ask me.. she’s fighting for void reasons. And what’s that with you not being Kurt? What the hell did Rachel say?!”
“Nothing,” Kurt shrugged and Blaine let him go as they started walking again. “Basically the same old cramp of how much I’ve changed and how I don’t fight for stuff anymore..”
Blaine didn’t respond, just nodded. They walked in silence and Kurt couldn’t help but wonder if he and Blaine would still be together if Kurt hadn’t changed. Would Blaine still think that he’s amazing if he still was a snarky diva?
While Rachel and Mercedes auditioned for the role of Maria, Kurt tried to make a decision about running for the class president. Days were tough and tense because Mercedes got upset and tight about the audition as she wanted to do everything she could to get the role and Kurt started to run out of time with the decision making. It still doesn’t stop him from stopping by the florist one day before the school when Blaine can’t pick him up in the morning and buy some roses. Blaine smiles brightly through the rest of the day.
“Mr. Shue, if I may?” Kurt says when the teacher enters the choir room that day. “I have an announcement to make.”
Mr. Shuester nodded and gave his permission with that. Kurt stood up while Blaine giave him a confused look.
“So I just wanted to let you guys know, that I’ve decided to run for the class president,” Kurt stated nervously. “I’ve been thinking about it for weeks and I’m going to stop by coach Beiste office later.”
A happy cheer follows his words so he doesn’t have to say anything else.
“I’m so happy for you!” Tina smiled and clapped merrily revealing the small girl inside of her.
“Good for you,” Rachel said with fulfilled countenance. Kurt knew what she was thinking about.
“I’m proud of you,” Blaine sighed with relief and stood to hug him tightly.
Kurt didn’t sit, when the cheers ended.
“And I would also like to wish good luck to Brittany,” he uttered and shot her a brief smile. “I really hope that it’s going to be a fair fight and the best will win.”
Although Kurt was still nervous when he sat, he also felt so much better when Blaine’s hand rested on his knee, encouraging him like that.
Things changed somehow better, Kurt felt better. Blaine had already helped him with some campaign ideas and it felt nice but he was still a little bothered by Rachel. He didn’t feel exactly hurt or offended but he was still just as guilty.
“Hey can you do something for me?” Kurt asked Blaine the next day.
“Of course, anything,” Blaine replied. It was actually a little scary how much Blaine would have agreed to do for him but Kurt started to get used with it.
“Can you tell Rachel to come to auditorium in like.. twenty minutes or so?”
Blaine looked surprised but he didn’t question. He knew that he’ll hear about it later.
“Sure,” Blaine simply said and smiled.
Twenty minutes later Rachel entered the auditorium with suspicious and confused face.
“Hey,” she greeted when she noticed Kurt sitting and waiting her by the stage. “You wanted me to meet me here..?”
Kurt shot a smile at her and showed him a broom. He didn’t realize until later how weird it had probably seemed to Rachel at first. It’s doesn’t happen every day when someone waits for you in auditorium with a broom in his hands after all.
“Do you mind singing with me?” he asked and winked.
“Wicked?”
“Wicked,” Kurt assured and gave him a broom and a hat.
So they sing. And dance like they’ve been best friends for a long time, like they aren’t enemies. Like there wasn’t anything between them that could prevent their friendship.
“So I’m assuming that you will be applying for NYADA with me?” Rachel asked carefully when the song ends.
Kurt shrugged and bit his lip. “I don’t know about that for sure, that depends on if I’ll win the race for the class president or not.”
“Then why did you want to meet me here?”
Kurt took a deep breath before answering.
“Because I wanted to apologize. I’ve been wanting to do this for weeks for now, but I couldn’t find any good moment for that and then I figured that there isn’t any great time for that so I just decided to..”
“Make that moment by yourself,” Rachel finished his sentence and nodded understandably.
“Yeah, well, that was the closest I could get to the Broadway stage we sang in New York and I felt like I should try to take back some time for that,” Kurt continued and tried his best to look into her eyes. Although he didn’t felt exactly comfortable with that, it wasn’t so hard anymore. “So I’m sorry for pushing you away last year, when you were there for the way that nobody was. And I’m sorry for yelling at you in New York. The fact we lost wasn’t your fault. Or Finn’s.”
The corners of Rachel’s mouth lifted up to a small but cute smile.
“Well, it’s not like you’re the only one who didn’t want to do anything with me,” she said then and Kurt couldn’t help but laugh lightly. It was true, most people really avoided her in her sophomore year.
Rachel walked over to him and pulled Kurt to a hug.
“So you don’t hate me anymore?” Kurt guessed. He could feel how Rachel’s body laughed against his.
“I never hated you, Kurt.”
“Hey Kurt have you heard?” Coach Beiste called over the hall the next day when he started with putting the posters up. “You have one more competitior.”
Kurt felt a shudder in his stomach. Well, that shouldn’t be something too shocking, he told himself. After all, this was a race.
“Who?”
“Rachel Berry,” coach answered and kept walking. She didn’t even see how Kurt stilled and how his eyes widened with shock.
WHAT?! Kurt heard Blaine groan next to him and felt his worrying look. He tried to say something but Kurt wasn’t listening.
He couldn’t believe it He just couldn’t! How she even dared?! And what game was she playing?! Kurt felt confused and more hurt than at the start of the week.
Without really knowing what he did, Kurt walked away from Blaine and found Rachel’s locker, Rachel standing right there.
“When were you going to tell me?” he asked when he walked over there.
“Ku-Kurt,” Rachel stuttered but Kurt didn’t really let her talk.
“You know, for a second I thought you actually wanted me to apply for NYADA with you,” Kurt rambled with anger and confusion, “I actually thought that even though Blaine was the one who asked you do this, you actually cared enough. I thought that that was the reason why you convinced me to run for this damn class president.”
“I did, I do, but Kurt, you don’t understand..”
“Then what the hell Rachel?”
“You don’t understand, I need this for NYADA too! This will be the way to Broadway..”
“Don’t you realize that I’m not doing it for NYADA?! I’m not just doing it for my own good, for my own dreams. I’m doing it because I want to change things around here. I could change things around here! Do you realize that ten years down the track, you will realize what you’ve done and what friends you’ve left behind?! Do you realize that then you won’t give a crap if you’re standing in the middle of the Broadway stage or not!”
With that Kurt finished. He was panting because he didn’t exactly breath during his furious speech. He didn’t even exactly understand his words until he was finished.
He is too angry to let Rachel talk again so he turn his back to Rachel and walk back to Blaine.
Comments
:)
oh thank god somebody still reads it! :)
I hated when Rachel did this to Kurt. She is such a bitch :x