Blaine found out quickly that McKinley wasn’t that bad. Yes, he got called names, even by one of the teachers and people didn’t seem to care if they were in his way, but really, he kind of liked it there. With some exceptions he was really welcomed to New Directions and even Mr. Schuester was really fond of him. Blaine wondered if it was because of his past singing experiences.

But Kurt was different in school, Blaine could tell after only few days in McKinley. He was more quiet and scared of every piece of touching. He often looked tired or annoyed. Kurt never said his opinion in Glee club rehearsal and didn’t mind singing on the background which was a shame in Blaine’s mind. Kurt had a great voice he could easily use for so much more.

“You know, for some reason I always thought that Kurt would run for the class president,” Tina said before the English class one day. Kurt and Blaine had many classes together but English wasn’t one of them.

Blaine frowned. “How come?”

“He used to be a fighter. I always imagined that he would be a class president and fight against the bullying that way..”

In some way, it made a perfect sense even though Blaine had never seen this fighter side of Kurt. He knew that Kurt was stubborn, sure, but this was different.

“He is doing better now, you know,” Tina said when Blaine fell into the silence. “With you, I mean.”

Blaine smiled shyly. Hearing this always made him feel a little better, useful maybe, but this time he couldn’t bring himself to feel good about it.

 “Right now.. I wouldn’t be so sure,” Blaine mumbled quietly.

Tina looked at him with a suspicious look, but didn’t comment. Blaine was thankful, he didn’t want to talk about that anyway.

“So what do you think about me auditioning for Tony?” Blaine asked as carefully as he could during the booty camp. Although Blaine understood Mr. Schuester’s concern about club’s dancing skills he still couldn’t help but feel mad. How come that the teacher didn’t see how Kurt was struggling? Kurt was a wreck and Blaine wondered if he wanted to quit.

“Uh,” Kurt panted through the steps. “You’d be a perfect Tony.”

“Will you be auditioning?” Blaine asked few minutes later, feeling a little spent himself. “For the musical?”

Kurt let out a sarcastic snort. I guess it would be a ‘no’ then. But Blaine wasn’t done with asking.

“Why not? It would be useful in college application..”

“Yeah, if I will ever write one,” Kurt answered quickly and carelessly, like it didn’t matter.

Wait, what? Blaine was speechless but that’s when Mr. Schuester interrupted to say something that Blaine didn’t hear anyway, so he dropped it, making the mental note to talk about that with Kurt later.

They walked towards Blaine’s car in the end of the day, when he asked about that again: “Kurt, what did you meant with that college thing?.”

“What college thing?” Kurt muttered quietly. His walking and face expression changed suddenly. Blaine could see how he tried to act normally, but was still a little shaky to that question.

“You know what I’m talking about, Kurt.” Blaine’s voice was deep and commanding. He couldn’t really help it.

Kurt stopped by the car and opened the door.

“There’s nothing much to say,” he sighed then. “I don’t have any idea what I’m going to do after this year..” He sat into the car with carelessly, like they would just discuss another movie, like it wasn’t important.

But it was important and Blaine couldn’t hide the surprise. Blaine wasn’t shocked because of Kurt had just said: he wasn’t the only one, who still wasn’t sure what do with his life after high school. Blaine felt shocked because of the way, how Kurt said it: like it really didn’t matter.

Slowly, Blaine followed and sat in too. He gazed at Kurt, who seemed quite tensed. They didn’t talk about that during the ride, just agreed on going to Blaine’s empty house instead of Kurt’s because of Finn, who was probably arriving home any minute. Both of them felt more comfortable with each other without their families around, but this wasn’t the only reason why Blaine didn’t want to Kurt’s house that day. He had enough of Finn for that day.

They didn’t say a word to each other on their way to the house and the silence tensed even more

“Do you want something to eat or drink?” Blaine asked then when they walked into the kitchen.

Kurt shook his head and sat down by the kitchen counter on the stool.  Blaine found himself a class and drank a little water, before looking at Kurt again.

Kurt was tired and lost in his thoughts, sitting quietly and looking at something that wasn’t really even there, Blaine could tell. Blaine sneaked quietly behind Kurt to put his hands on boy’s shoulders and massage gently. Kurt startled at first, he probably wasn’t expecting that, but then he groaned and started enjoying that. Blaine continued for another five minutes with that, until he felt Kurt completely relaxed under him.

“Better?”

“Hmm.” Blaine took it as a yes and slipped his arms around Kurt. He moved closer, hugging him tightly from the back. Kurt leaned against Blaine’s body and let his head fell back on Blaine’s shoulder, when he nuzzled against Kurt’s shoulder and put his arms on Blaine’s.

This moment was perfect in so many ways. Kurt seemed more than fine with that: he wasn’t uncomfortable or tensed. They could finally be close to each other after another long day and that’s really all they needed then. Blaine could even smell the soap of Kurt’s clothes. And of course, Blaine didn’t feel unconscious because of his lack of height since Kurt was sitting..

They stayed like that for a while, Blaine couldn’t tell for how long exactly. It could have been just a few minutes, but it also could have been few hours before Blaine decided speak.

“I’ve noticed that you are really tensed and spent in school..”

Kurt shrugged. “I still don’t feel safe there.”

Blaine felt a little confused. “But Karofsky’s gone..”

“But the feeling like someone is haunting me, is still there.”

Blaine straightened himself a little and tightened his grip. He wondered if Kurt should talk about that with a professional but as he remembered his first dinner at Hummel-Hudson’s he decided not to mention that right now.

“I would never, ever let anyone hurt you, remember that,” Blaine said instead and planted a kiss on Kurt’s neck. He could feel Kurt smiling.

“I can’t ask you that..” Kurt tried to say, but Blaine cut him off.

“You’re not asking..”

With that, Kurt tensed again. Feeling more confused, Blaine removed his arms around Kurt and moved away, immediately missing the warmth of the boy’s body.

“What’s wrong?” Blaine asked as Kurt turned around on his seat to face Blaine. He felt bad as he saw that his serious tone had made Kurt unconscious and a little shaky. He cupped Kurt’s face, somehow trying to make it better. “You know you can tell me anything,” Blaine added with much warmer tone when Kurt didn’t answer. “Please, just don’t shut me down.”

Kurt nodded to that and Blaine could see how Kurt melted, feeling slightly safer now.

“Remember when I told you about Rachel and we talked about.. you being a spy..” he spoke quietly, even sadly maybe.

Blaine nodded. He wasn’t really thrilled to hear that they would have to talk about that again.

“Well.. you said that you would go back to Dalton if I don’t feel comfortable with you being here.”

Blaine’s hands fell down to Kurt’s shoulders. Oh god, no, please no.

Kurt didn’t continue. He stopped talking, just watching into Blaine’s eyes like he would have to guess. A tear ran down on Kurt’s cheek when Blaine finally understood what Kurt was trying to say.

“D-do you.. want me to go?” Blaine asked but he thought that he already knew the answer. He could feel how his heart raced and almost brought tears into his eyes too.

Kurt swallowed. “I.. don’t know,” he answered. Kurt was close to breaking down and for some wicked reason Blaine felt responsible. “Maybe..”

Blaine sighed heavily and turned away from Kurt. So was that it? He really had to transfer back although he didn’t want to. How did this perfect moment turned into this at the first place? Damn, it was Blaine’s fault, he realized.

“You know, I could just quit the New Directions,” Blaine uttered quietly as he walked to the other side of courtier.

Kurt turned to look at him and Blaine tried his best ignore Kurt’s gaze.

“I don’t think that this is the problem actually,” Kurt said then.

Blaine stared at Kurt for a long time, before he understood the meaning of Kurt’s words. These words didn’t make sense anyway. “Wha - what?!”

“I’m not uncomfortable with you being in New Directions.” Kurt explained with shaky voice. “I don’t think that you’re a spy. But when you said that you would go.. my first thought was if I could lie and make you go back to Dalton this way and keep you safe.”

“Oh god.” Now Blaine understood. Now he understood, although he had hoped that they wouldn’t have to discuss it anymore. “Kurt, we’ve been through this. I don’t care about the bullying,” he uttered as leaned on the courtier. He needed to lean on something because of the rush of fear and sadness that had just been in his body. He couldn’t blame Kurt of course, he could never mad at him.

“But I care about you,” Kurt stated then with the strongest voice he had. Blaine stilled. “Call me crazy but I care about you too much, so that’s why I wanted to lie to you and make you go back to Dalton.”

But he didn’t lie, because the idea of Blaine leaving hurt too much, Blaine concluded remembering what else Kurt told him that day. Blaine didn’t say anything, just simply looked into Kurt’s blue eyes. This moment felt kind of surreal, because Blaine hadn’t really believed Kurt when he said that he loved him for the first time. Blaine had wondered if maybe Kurt had just answered him without really meaning these words. But now.. he didn’t question that anymore.

“I won’t call you crazy,” Blaine said after the silence and took Kurt’s right hand tightly into his, holding it safely on the courtier that kept their bodies apart. “I won’t call you crazy, because I know the feeling..”

Kurt didn’t seem to understand what Blaine had exactly meant with that and smiled. This time it was Kurt, who stood up and moved closer to Blaine. He pulled Blaine into a tight and loving hug . Ah, why am I still so short?!

“I love you,” Blaine breathed feeling so the weight of the world disappearing from his shoulders. Maybe these little arguments they had were meant to be like that: solving the problems that they didn’t know they were having..

“I love you too,” Kurt answered.

“I know.”

“You know you could fight those bullies,” Blaine said later that night when they were pressed closed to each other at the living room’s sofa.

Kurt shot him a confused look.

“You would have the power for that as the class president.”

“Hah, I don’t think so,” Kurt answered with his usual sarcastic tone. Blaine was too used with that to take it personally.

“Why not? You have what it takes..” Blaine continued.

“Blaine.” It was enough to have Blaine’s full attention. “It’s a great idea, but I don’t think I can do this.”

“You wouldn’t be alone...”

Kurt smiled at that, moved closer to kiss gently and turned his head back to the TV. He’ll think about it.