Chris slowly regained consciousness.  The first thing he became aware of was a sense of movement through space — both forward momentum and rough jostling.  He opened his eyes to flickering torchlight.

“Oh, thank heavens you're awake!” Unique cried.

Chris sat up, feeling disoriented.  “What happened?”

“We crash-landed in the Troll and Goblin Territory, and these gentlemen came along and said they were rescuing us,” Unique said sarcastically, gesturing toward the front of the cart they were in, where Chris could see the backs of two heads that he though he recognized as the troll version of Azimio and the goblin version of Jacob Ben Israel.  “Rescuing, my ass!  Kidnapping is more like it!”

“Oh my god - the sharknado!” Chris gasped, as memories came flooding back.  “Is everyone okay?”

He spun around frantically, breathing a sigh of relief as he saw Darren and the others beginning to stir behind him.  Miraculously, no one seemed to be badly hurt.

Darren sat up and pulled Chris into his arms.  “Are you alright?”

“Yeah.  A little shaken up, but fine.”

They ran their hands over each other's bodies, partly checking for injuries, partly just for the reassuring touch.  Behind them, Kurt and Blaine were doing the same, as were Froggy and Red.  Roary bounced from couple to couple, licking everyone indiscriminately.

The cart they were in descended through a stone tunnel until it reached the dungeon in which Chris and Darren had been imprisoned on their previous visit.  However, the place seemed to have been remodeled in their absence.  Instead of a row of bare, individual cells, there was now one large space, with stone furniture lining the walls.

“Here's where you get out,” Azimio growled.

“But don't get too comfy,” Jacob warned.  “We'll be back for you soon.”

Chris and Darren scrambled out of the cart.  Kurt and Blaine hoisted Unique over the side and passed her down into their waiting arms.  Once they set her safely on the floor, Darren reached back up to take Roary from Rachel.  As the other four dropped down to join them, Chris was glad to see that Froggy still had the bag with all of the items they'd collected for the Wand of Wonderment slung over his shoulder.

As soon as everyone was out of the cart, Azimio and Jacob drove away, slamming the stone gate shut behind them.  The loud clang must have woken up the only other prisoner in the dungeon, because a figure slowly rose from the stone bed in the darkest corner of the room.

“Zach?!” Chris cried, catching sight of the last person on earth (or wherever this was) that he expected to see. 

“Chris?  Darren?  Oh, thank god!  Please say you're here to rescue me.”

“Um…sure…” Darren said unconvincingly.  “But how did you even get here?”

“I don't really know.  That Mother Goose character waved her flask, and some kind of wormhole opened up and sucked you guys through.  She waved it again, and Burt stepped into the next wormhole.  And then she waved the flask one more time, and before I knew what was happening, she'd pinched my ass and made me jump right into the third wormhole.  I landed in some sort of creepy woods, and before I'd taken a dozen steps, I walked right into a trap.  The Troblins found me, and brought me here.”

“Troblins?”

“Yeah, apparently that's what the trolls and goblins are calling themselves these days.  They brought me to Queen Trollbecky, and once she found out I was a choreographer, she insisted that I stay here forever as her ‘guest' and teach those monsters how to dance.  God - they're even worse than you were during the pilot of Glee.  And that's saying something!”

Chris chose to ignore the insult (which he knew he deserved) in favor of figuring out what was going on.  “Did you say Queen Trollbecky?  What happened to King Karofsky and King Sebastian?”

“The gossip around here is that they were having a torrid affair, and they ended up running off together to live in the I'll Show You Mine with a couple of dwarves called Slutty and Fancy.”

Darren snorted.  “Oh, that's perfect!  Those two deserve each other.”

“So Trollbecky is the queen now?” Chris asked.

“Yeah.  And you'll never guess who she's got as her consort — Stoner Brett!  Between the fact that these troblins all have two left feet, and the fact that everyone here is now high literally all the time, it is a nightmare trying to choreograph anything, let me tell you.”

Rachel, clearly tired of being ignored, piped up loudly.  “Excuse me, but has everyone here forgotten their manners?  Introductions should be made, and as I am the only royal present, I should be introduced first.”

Chris rushed to smooth things over.  “Forgive me, Queen Red.  I'd like you to meet my friend, Zach.  Zach, this is Queen Red Riding Hood.”

Chris could see the wheels in Zach's head spinning as he did a double-take, and then a triple-take, as he recognized the young woman in front of him first as Lea Michele, then Rachel Berry, and finally Queen Red Riding Hood.

“Pleased to meet you, Your Highness,” he said, bowing chivalrously.

Rachel, instantly charmed, curtsied back.

“And here are Kurt, Blaine, Froggy, Unique, and Roary,” Chris added, finishing the introductions.

Zach greeted the human members of their party enthusiastically, visibly steeled himself as he shook hands with the towering frog-man, told Unique she looked fabulous, and cooed over the excited wolf cub.

“Now that you're all here, I might have a plan to get us out of this place,” Zach said.  “Who's up for a little singing and dancing?”

…

When Azimio and Jacob Ben Israel showed up again three hours later, Zach and the others were ready to put their plan into motion.  “My friends and I have prepared a special performance for Queen Trollbecky,” Zach told their captors.  “And all of the troblins are invited to watch.”

Azimio just grunted, but Jacob's bloodshot eyes seemed to light up for a moment as he leered at Rachel.

The troblins escorted their prisoners out of the dungeon, through a winding tunnel, and into a vast, torchlit cavern filled with trolls and goblins.  At the center of the cavern, Queen Trollbecky and Stoner Brett sat atop a dais on their stone thrones.  While Azimio stayed behind to guard the captives, Jacob scurried over to the queen and whispered in her ear. 

Trollbecky rose and banged a great stone gong.  “Attention, troblins!” she called.  “We've got some real dancers here tonight, and I want you all to watch closely and learn their moves.  Let the show begin!”  And with that, she struck the gong once more.

Azimio herded the conscripted performers across the room to a raised stone stage.  Froggy placed Unique on one corner of the platform, and he and Rachel stood behind her.  Chris, Darren, Kurt, Blaine, and Zach positioned themselves in the center of the stage.

A hush fell over the assembled troblins as Unique began to play a tune one would never associate with a harp — magical or otherwise.  She, Rachel, and Froggy began to sing:     

Everybody, get on the floor, lets dance

Dont fight your feelings, give yourself a chance

Shake shake shake, shake shake shake

Shake your booty, shake your booty

Oh, shake shake shake, shake shake shake

Shake your booty, shake your booty

Every eye in the cavern was riveted on the five dancers — four of whom were still clothed in nothing but fishnet tights — as they gyrated to the beat.

You can, you can do it very well

Youre the best in the world, I can tell

Oh, shake shake shake, shake shake shake

Shake your booty, shake your booty

Oh, shake shake shake, shake shake shake

Shake your booty, shake your booty

Shake shake, shake shake

Shake shake, shake shake

The troblins were mesmerized by Chris and Kurt, with their swiveling hips, and Darren and Blaine, with their jiggling asses.

Shake shake shake, shake shake shake

Shake your booty, shake your booty

Oh, shake shake shake, shake shake shake

Shake your booty, shake your booty

Soon every troblin had fallen into a hypnotic trance, staring raptly at the dancers.

Shake shake, shake shake, shake your booty 

Dont fight the feeling

Shake shake, shake shake, shake your booty

Give yourself a chance

Shake shake, shake shake, shake your booty

You can do it, do it

Shake shake, shake shake, shake your booty

Come home with momma now

Shake shake, shake shake, shake your booty

Shake shake, shake shake, shake your booty

Run down to sister

Shake shake, come on

Shake shake, come on

Your booty, do your duty

Shake shake, come on

Shake shake, come on

SHAKE!

On the final beat, Chris, Darren, Kurt, Blaine, and Zach each executed a perfectly synchronized pelvic thrust that knocked every last troblin to the floor in a stupor. 

Zach grinned at the others triumphantly.  “I knew we could do it!  You've come a helluva long way since the pilot.  Come on — let's make our escape!”