Stepping into the light that shone out of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, Chris felt as though there was a light shining out of his own heart, as well.  As the words of the book swirled around him, he waited impatiently for them to take shape and deposit him back in his own world.  After all that he'd been through, finally, finally, he and Darren were about to be reunited.

The moment the world stopped spinning, Chris pulled out his magic mirror and gave it a tap.  Darren's face immediately appeared the glass.

“Hi!  Please tell me you made it here.”

“Yep.  If the Wikipedia article you read is to be believed, we're on the bank of the River Isis, somewhere between Oxford and Godstow.”

“Perfect.  It turns out that the Isis is just another name for the upper part of the Thames.  Joey and I are in Oxford at some place called Salter Steamers that rents out boats.  We'll start rowing upstream, and you start walking downstream, and we'll meet up soon.”

“Okay.  I can't wait to see you.”

Chris put away the mirror and turned to Kurt, Blaine, and Mother Goose.  “Come on.  Let's go find Darren.”

The four companions set out on a lovely stroll through the bucolic landscape.  The river flowed placidly between grassy banks dotted with trees, and a few white clouds drifted across the blue sky overhead.  Chris glanced fondly at Kurt and Blaine, who were swinging their linked hands between them.  Soon, he and Darren would be doing the same…

As they continued walking, however, Chris began to feel concerned.  There was no sign of Darren and Joey.  In fact, the only boat they'd passed had held a family all dressed up in old fashioned clothes.  

Chris brought the magic mirror back out and contacted Darren.  “Hey - where are you guys?”

“We're almost to Godstow.  Where are you?”

“We've gotta be almost to Oxford by now.  We must have missed you somehow.  Turn around and come back.”

“Okay…  Joey just looked on his phone, and he says we should meet up at the Folly Bridge.”

“Hurry.  I miss you.”

“Don't worry.  Now that we're heading downstream, the current will help push us along.  We'll see you soon.”

As Darren's face faded from the mirror, though, Chris couldn't help but worry.  He could see Oxford in the distance, and something wasn't right.  At first it was just a vague sense of wrongness, but as they drew closer to the city he realized what was bothering him.

“Where are all the cars?  And why are there so many horse-drawn carriages?”

Kurt and Blaine looked at him blankly, but Mother Goose, who'd visited this world before, quickly grasped the situation.

“Holly told me that the potion would take us into the setting of any book.  And here we are in Oxford — just take a look.  But I assumed that ‘setting' only meant place.  Unfortunately, that doesn't seem to be the case.  I didn't realize that ‘setting' meant time, as well.  But this isn't 2012, as you can tell.”

Chris groaned.  “Oh, no.  Does that mean we're in the 1800s?”

“It sure looks like it, I'm sorry to say.  This certainly isn't the present day.” 

“Damn!  Now what are we going to do?  Will we even be able to get back to where we started?  Or will A Treasury of Fairy Tales drop us into the wrong time, too?”

“Once we're back in the fairytale world my magic will work again.  Then I'll be able to take us anywhere and any-when.”

Chris sighed.  “Okay.  I guess I'd better let Darren and Joey know that we won't be meeting up with them today.  This potion seemed like a good idea, but we'll have to find some other way to get back together.  If we can't get me to where and when Darren is, can you think of anything that might be able to bring Darren back to the fairytale world?”

Taking a swig from the flask that she'd refilled with the pirates' rum, Mother Goose scrunched up her face, apparently deep in thought.  “Hmmm…  There's something just teasing the back of my brain.  Something I thought when I wasn't quite sane.  I was smoking hashish with some sort of fellow.  My mind was all foggy — I was feeling quite mellow.  He was talking about some magic right here.  Some kind of gateway could be very near…”

“Where???”

“I just can't remember…  Now who was that bloke?  Maybe it would help if I had another smoke.  A little more hashish might bring it all back.  Yes — I think that a hookah would get me on track.”

“Well, then I guess it's a good thing that there's a hookah-smoking caterpillar in this story.  Come on — let's retrace our steps.  It looks like we're gonna have to head down the rabbit hole to Wonderland.” 

…

Wonderland was just as bizarre and disorienting as Chris had always imagined it would be.  By the time he and his friends finally found the giant caterpillar lounging on an enormous mushroom, Chris felt as though he was the one who'd been smoking hashish. 

Mother Goose, who had been bemoaning the fact that her flask was empty, perked up at the sight of the hookah.  She plopped herself down next to the caterpillar with a smile.  “May I?” she asked.

The caterpillar passed her the hookah, and she took a long drag, then another, and another.  Her smile grew fuzzy and her eyes glazed over.

“Well?” Chris asked.  “Can you remember who you were talking to the last time you smoked hashish?”

“Mmmm…  Yeah…  Big and fat, that pussycat…  Pretty kitty…  So, so vain about his mane…”

“A lion!  Where was he?”

“Not flesh and bone, but made of stone…  Westminster Bridge in London town…   But London Bridge is falling down…  Falling down…  Falling down…”

As Mother Goose repeated the words “falling down,” she slowly slid onto the ground, unconscious.  Concerned, Blaine knelt down beside her, checking her pulse.  Kurt rolled his eyes and slapped her sharply across the face.

Mother Goose popped up to a sitting position, glancing around wildly.  “I've gotta get out of here!  I need a beer!”

With that, she grabbed her bag, whipped out the potion bottle and her copy of The Once and Future King, and before anyone could stop her she'd activated the spell and disappeared into the book.

“Not again!” Chris groaned. 

“I should have slapped her harder,” Kurt said.

Blaine took his hand and pulled him toward the light coming from the book.  “Come on!  I can't wait to see the next place we get to visit on the best honeymoon ever!”