While Darren and Joey were meeting up with the stone lion and traveling to Hogwarts, Chris was having his own adventures in Camelot.  

The revelry in celebration of the lusty month of May continued in the form of a faire the following day.  Chris wandered through the festivities, searching in vain for his friends.  Eventually he joined a throng of people gathered around a large grassy staging area, with a raised platform directly across from where he was standing.

Two heralds stepped out in front of the platform and blew into long bronze horns.  The crowd quieted.  A third herald mounted the platform and announced in a ringing voice: “Hear ye, hear ye!  His Majesty, King Arthur, welcomes you to his royal faire.”

A tapestry (which Chris had assumed was simply a backdrop for the platform) suddenly fell, revealing King Arthur himself sitting upon a golden throne.  Everyone in the crowd bowed low, and Chris did the same. 

“Arise,” the king commanded.  Once he had been obeyed, he continued, “I have a challenge to set before my knights — a tournament to determine who is the most worthy to embark on a quest for the Holy Grail.  Let the jousting begin!”

The heralds blew their horns again, and a long line of knights came galloping out on sturdy warhorses.  They circled the field three times before splitting into two groups on opposite ends of the staging area.

At a signal from the heralds, the first two knights charged towards each other, lances in their right hands and shields in their left.  They came together with a resounding clash, as one knight knocked the other to the ground.  The crowd cheered the winner as he galloped a victory lap around the perimeter of the field before coming to a halt in front of King Arthur's platform. 

Chris watched with rapt attention as the spectacle was repeated over and over.  Once all of the knights had completed their first jousts, the winners were divided into two new groups for the next round.  As the day wore on, more and more competitors were eliminated, until only two knights remained.

A hush fell over the crowd as the knights began their final charge.  Chris figured they must both be exhausted from their previous battles, since neither one seemed to be able to hold his lance straight in front of him.  In fact, as they reached each other, both knights allowed their weapons to swing out to the sides, catching each other at chest height.  There was a collective gasp from the onlookers as the knights grabbed onto each other's lances and allowed themselves to be lifted up and spun 180 degrees to land on each other's horses and gallop away.       

After a moment of stunned silence, a roaring cheer went up from the crowd.  The knights galloped in opposite directions around the field and then reined their horses to a stop in front of the royal platform.  

King Arthur rose from his throne.  “For the first time in history, my tournament has two champions.  Pray, reveal yourselves.”

The knights pulled off their helmets.  They bowed their heads to King Arthur, and then wheeled their horses around to face the crowd.  Chris was shocked to see Kurt and Blaine.

…

It was evening before Chris was able to meet up with his friends — who'd now been dubbed Sir Kurt and Sir Blaine by King Arthur — to discuss their plans.  In addition to their quest for the Holy Grail, they had been set another task by the king.

“He told us that his royal advisor, Merlin, has gone missing,” Blaine explained.  “Apparently, he was last seen in the company of Mother Goose.”

“I've been looking for her all day,” Chris said.  “I checked every place where alcohol is served, but there was no sign of her.”

“Well, the king is very anxious to get Merlin back,” Kurt said.  “And unless we want to stay here forever, we've got to find Mother Goose.  She's got the potion and the book that will take us home.”

“Did King Arthur give you any clues about where we should start looking?”

“One of his servants overheard Merlin talking to Mother Goose about the Holy Grail.  He thought they might have gone in search of it.”

“Then it sounds like we can kill two birds with one stone.”

“So to speak…”

…

The quest for the Holy Grail — and the Unholy Goose, as the trio had taken to calling her — began the following morning.  Kurt and Blaine sat astride the spirited stallions they had ridden in the jousting tournament, while Chris mounted a docile gray gelding borrowed from King Arthur's stables.  The three set off in the direction a witness believed he'd seen Mother Goose and Merlin heading.

Kurt was a skilled tracker, having spent most of his life in the Dwarf Forests, so Chris and Blaine let him lead the way.  Through woods and fields, across streams and rivers, over hills and mountains, they rode onward.  Every so often, Kurt asked Chris to wait behind while he and Blaine went off on a “scouting mission.”  The rumpled state of their clothing, and the satisfied looks on their faces each time they returned, gave Chris a pretty good idea of exactly what sort of territory they'd been exploring.            

When they finally made camp that night, Chris laid out his bedroll at some distance from the other two.  By the light of the moon, he gazed into his magic mirror, waiting for Darren's face to appear.  He let out a sigh of relief when he saw his boyfriend.

“Hi, sweetie.  I was starting to get worried.  I've been trying to reach you on and off all day.”

“Yeah, me too.  I guess we kept missing each other.  Too bad these mirrors don't have a ringtone or a vibrate mode.  If we don't happen to be looking at them at the exact same time, we're out of luck.”

“So what have you been up to?  Did you and Joey find the stone lion?”

“Yes!  And you'll never in a million years guess who he turned out to be.”

“Who?”

“Rumbleroar!”

Chris listened in amazement (and envy) as Darren described his journey to Hogwarts, and all that had happened since he and Joey arrived.

“You'll never guess the label Scarfy gave me — you're gonna love it.”

“Hmmm…”  Chris thought for a moment.  He knew the Scarf of Sexual Preference had labeled Harry ‘metrosexual' in A Very Potter Sequel, but he figured things must have changed now that Darren actually was Harry instead of just playing him.  “I don't know.  Queer as a three-dollar-bill?”  

Darren laughed.  “That's a good one, but nope.  Apparently I'm ‘Colfer-sexual.'  Which is true, of course.  But unfortunately, for the time being, it's more in theory than in practice.  This ‘stuck in separate dimensions' thing is putting a bit of a damper on my sex life.”

“You and me both.  I love Kurt and Blaine, but it's been kind of awkward traveling together now that it's just the three of us.  They keep disappearing to have ‘private time.'  I know they're newlyweds and everything, but it's a little hard to be around when you're so far away.”

“So, Kurt and Blaine are making good use of the land of Came-alot, huh?”  

“Oh my god.  Are you seriously quoting Struck by Lightning?”  

“Hey, that was a brilliant movie.  I can't wait until it's out in theaters.  It's gonna be huge.”

“I hope so.  And even more, I hope I'm there to see it.”

“You will be.  We both will be.”

“How are you able to stay so positive all the time?”

“I guess it's just one of my many charms.  And come on, how could I not be feeling positive right now?  I'm at Hogwarts!  And the people here actually believe that I'm Harry Freakin' Potter.  It's totally awesome.”

“Yeah, it is.  I just wish I was there with you.  Or that you were here with me.  I've been having all of these amazing adventures — enough to fill up a whole series of kids' books — but it's not the same without you.”     

“I know, babe.  I feel the same way.”  

Chris began to sing:

I have climbed highest mountains

I have run through the fields

Only to be with you

Only to be with you

Darren took the next verse:

I have run, I have crawled

I have scaled these castle walls

These castle walls

Only to be with you

Their voices blended in perfect harmony on the chorus:

But I still havent found

What Im looking for

But I still havent found

What Im looking for

They poured out all of their mutual longing as they sang:

But I still havent found

What Im looking for

But I still havent found

What Im looking for