Darren had been at Hogwarts for over a week before he stumbled across the Mirror of Erised.  He wasn't at all surprised that the image it showed him perfectly matched the one he saw every time he looked into his own magic mirror:  Chris's smiling face.  Darren's answering grin was automatic, but tinged with bittersweet longing.  Seeing his boyfriend was wonderful, but would it always be through glass?

Darren's optimism, which had once seemed so unquenchable, was beginning to erode.  As day followed day, with Chris still trapped in the Gleeful Land of Stories, and Darren and Joey still stuck in the musical version of Hogwarts, what had once felt like a magical adventure was rapidly losing its sparkle.  Darren was pining.    

Joey, in an attempt to cheer him up, suggested that Darren should pull out his guitar and sing some of his favorite songs.  As luck — or misfortune — would have it, Ginny happened upon them just as Darren got ready to play.

“Hey, Ginny, c'mere.  I wanna show you something.  C'mere.”

Ginny — wearing her heart on her sleeve — blushed as she approached.  “Hey, Harry Potter.”

“Listen, I wanna play you this song that I'm working on.  I met someone who I really, really like, who's really special.  So, I just wanna know what you think.  Just for the purposes of now, ‘cause I'm still working out the lyrics, I'll put your name in it, but I don't think it's really gonna work out.  Well, let me just give it a shot.”

Ginny was glowing with pleasure as Darren began to sing:

Youre tall and fun and pretty

Youre really, really skinny

Ginny

Im the Mickey to your Minnie

Youre the Tigger to my Winnie

Ginny

Gonna take you to the city

Wanna take you out to dinney

Ginny

Youre cuter than a guinea pig

Wanna take you up to Winnipeg

Thats in Canada!

Ginny Ginny Ginny —

With a shake of the head, Darren cut himself off mid-song.  “You know what, this doesnt work with your name at all.  It doesnt work.  But, I don't know, how does that make you feel, emotionally?”

“Wow!  Wowie, Harry Potter!”

“Don't you think it could — I don't know — make somebody fall in love with me?”

“Oh, I think it already has.”

“Awesome!  ‘Cause it's for my boyfriend, Chris.  He's super-mega-foxy-awesome-hot!  He's the hottest guy I've ever met.  He's far more attractive, far more appealing, far more interesting than anyone I know.”

As Ginny tried to hide her disappointment, Darren launched into another version of his song:

Youre tall and fun and pretty

Youre really, really skinny

Chris

Im the Mickey to your Minnie

Youre the Tigger to my Winnie

Chris

Gonna take you to the city

Wanna take you out to dinney

Chris

Youre cuter than a guinea pig

Wanna take you up to Winnipeg

Thats in Canada!

Chris Chris Chris…

Darren and Chris had a good laugh over the story that evening, but it didn't alleviate the pining.  Or the yearning.  Or the increasing sense of desperation to find a way back together.

Darren broke into another song, this one without a trace of humor:

I cant win, I cant reign

I will never win this game

Without you, without you

I am lost, I am vain,

I will never be the same

Without you, without you

I wont run, I wont fly

I will never make it by

Without you, without you

I cant rest, I cant fight

All I need is you and I,

Without you, without you

Oh oh oh!

You! You! You!

Without

You! You! You!

Without you

I cant erase, so Ill take blame

But I cant accept that were estranged

Without you, without you

I cant quit now, this cant be right

I cant take one more sleepless night

Without you, without you

I wont soar, I wont climb

If youre not here, Im paralyzed

Without you, without you

I cant look, Im so blind

I lost my heart, I lost my mind

Without you, without you

Oh oh oh!

You! You! You!

Without

You! You! You!

Without you

I am lost, I am vain,

I will never be the same

Without you, without you

Without you

There was no sense trying to deny it.  Darren had it bad.

…

Joey's next attempt to cheer Darren up took the form of a proposed trip to Hogsmeade.  “C'mon — it'll be fun.  We can gorge ourselves into pre-diabetic comas at Honeydukes, get drunk off our asses on butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks, and then, once we're too wasted to know better, go visit the Shrieking Shack.  Wha'd'ya say?”  

Darren found it difficult to muster up his customary enthusiasm, but he did agree to go.  As he and Joey approached the castle doors, they were met by Professor Snape.

“Attention, all Hogwarts students.  In celebration of All Hallows Eve, we will be taking a field trip to Hogsmeade.”

“How can it be Halloween already?” Darren muttered to Joey.

“The timeline's been royally fucked since we got here.  We've been in and out of all seven books and both of our shows.  Just go with it.”

Snape continued, in an oily voice, “Please gather in the courtyard with your signed Hogsmeade permission forms.  Students without their permission forms will be killed.”  He paused dramatically, then amended, “No, but they won't be allowed to go, and it's going to be a whole lot of fun.”

“Damn,” Darren said.  “I forgot that Harry doesn't have a permission form.  You'll have to go without me.”

“Hey!  Ron may be a dick of a friend, but I'm not.  If you're not going, neither am I.”

As they turned away from the courtyard, dejected, they ran into Professor Lupin.

“Hey, Harry.  Ron.  You wanna go to Hogsmeade?  Feast your eyes on this — the Marauders' Map.  It shows the current location of everyone inside Hogwarts, and also has all of the secret passages out of the castle.  Here, take it.”

“Thanks!”

“Just stay out of the Shrieking Shack, okay?  I'm a werewolf in there.”

While Lupin ran off to do werewolfy things, Darren and Joey looked in fascination at the Marauders' Map.  

“This is so much more detailed than the one we used as a prop,” Joey marveled.  

“Yeah.  It's the first thing we've seen since we've been here that might actually be magic,” Darren agreed, pointing out the tiny moving dots on the parchment.  Each dot was labeled with the name of a character created by J. K. Rowling, except for two.  They read “Darren Criss” and “Joey Richter.” 

“Cool!  So maybe it really will show us a way into Hogsmeade.”

They perused the map, pointing out interesting features to each other.

“Look — Voldy and Quirrel are in bed together!” 

“Here's a tunnel that leads to Honeydukes.”

“And one to the Shrieking Shack.”

“Oh my god!” Darren cried, nearly ripping the map as he grabbed it away from Joey.  “There's a secret passage here that leads to The Land of Stories!”