“Is that the Fairy Godfather's looking glass?” Mother Goose asked.  “Tell him I'm sorry for pinching his ass.”

“Oh, you've got the magic mirror,” Quinderella said, looking over Chris's shoulder.  “I have a question for my Fairy Godfather.  Can I talk to him?”

“Hey, give that here,” Santana demanded.  “Brittany and I need the Fairy Godfather to turn us back into Cheermaids.”

“Not until after he's turned Froggy back into Prince Finn!” Rachel insisted.

Chris was surrounded by a jostling throng of people, all wanting the magic mirror.

“Order!” Wes commanded, banging his gavel.  “I will have order in the Warbler Palace!”

“Everyone take a seat,” David said firmly.  “Let us all behave with the decorum befitting our rank in society.”

With a few grumbles, the rulers of the various kingdoms settled down.  Nick, Jeff, and Thad joined their fellow members of the Warbler Council.  Queen Quinderella and King Puck Charming, with Princess Beth on his lap, sat on a sofa next to Queen Snow White (aka Mercedes) and King Sam.  Queen Sleeping Tina and King Mike joined Queen Red Riding Hood (whom no one dared to call Rachel) and Froggy (aka Prince Finn) on another sofa.  Queen Emmapunzel and Will sat beside Mother Goose and the Elf Empress, Holly Holiday — the latter two giggling over a shared flask, thick as thieves.  Santana and Brittany plopped down next to Queen Trollbella and Stoner Brett.  Kurt and Blaine patted the spot beside them on the last sofa, and Chris finally sat down.

“Now that we're all properly assembled,” David said, “let's hear what the Fairy Godfather has to say.  Chris, can you contact him for us?”

Chris looked at Darren apologetically.  “Could you put Ryan on for a minute?”

“Okay.”

Ryan's scowling face appeared in the mirror.  “Mother Goose is lucky there's no way for me to reach her right now.”

“She said to tell you she's sorry.”

“Yeah, well, fat lot of good that does.”

“Please tell me you know how to reopen the portal.”

Ryan's face softened.  “I'm sorry, Chris.  I know this isn't what either of us wanted.  But the gateway between the worlds is sealed forever.  We're just going to have to learn to live with it.”

Chris sighed.  “I'm not willing to accept that.  But, until we can figure something out, at least we have these mirrors to stay in touch.  And there are a lot of people here who want to talk to you.”

“Alright,” Ryan said.  “Put me on speakerphone.”

Chris laughed.  “What?”

“Tap your thumbs on the center of the mirror, and then swipe them out to the sides.  That will amplify my voice.”

Chris did as instructed.  “Okay, you're on.”

The Fairy Godfather's voice rang out loud and clear.  “Everybody listen closely, and don't interrupt, because I'm not going to repeat myself.  What's done is done, and cannot be undone.  I'm going to spend the rest of my life here, in the other world, and there's nothing anyone can do to change that.  I cannot be your Fairy Godfather any longer.  From now on, you'll have to find your own way to make your wishes come true.  This is the last time I'll be speaking with you.  Take care of each other.  And may you live gleefully ever after.”

…

In the pandemonium that broke out after the Fairy Godfather's pronouncement, Chris slipped quietly away.  Now he sat alone, in a peaceful, out-of-the-way place, clutching the magic mirror.  All he wanted to do was talk to Darren.

His boyfriend's face reappeared in the mirror.  “Ryan says to swipe your thumbs inward,” Darren said in a magnified whisper, “to take me off speaker.”

Chris quickly complied.  “Done.  It's just you and me, now.”

“I miss you already.  Is that silly?”

“No.  I miss you, too.  This really sucks.”

“Really, really sucks,” Darren echoed.  “Are you okay?”

“Um…  I guess?  I mean, I'm sure I will be.  But right now, I just can't wrap my head around this.”

“Me neither.  This puts a whole new spin on the idea of a long distance relationship.”

“The universe is against us,” Chris said bitterly.  “In the time since we've been together, what have we had?  A couple of interrupted kisses before I had to leave on the last leg of my book tour.  Then one more kiss when I got back — interrupted, again.  Then all that time spent under the Enchantress's curse, when we couldn't even let our lips touch.  And finally, when we broke the curse by sharing that mind-blowing kiss  — which, once again, was interrupted — I thought we'd really get to be together at last.  But no.  Now we're trapped in separate dimensions.  I'm telling you, the universe is against us.”

“Well, can you blame it?” Darren asked, trying to lighten the mood.  “If we ever did have sex, it would be so earth-shattering that both of these worlds would cease to exist.  I think this is just the multiverse trying to do a little preemptive damage control.”

Chris laughed.  “You think you're that good, huh?”

“Nope — I think you're that good.”

Chris felt himself blush.  “I hate that you're not here.”

“Me too.  But if there's one thing that the past few weeks have taught me, it's that anything is possible.  So no matter what Ryan or anyone else says, I know we're going to find a way to get back together.” 

…

By the time Chris returned to the main hall of the Warbler Palace, the crowd had dispersed.  Only the members of the Warbler Council remained, along with Mother Goose and the magic harp, Unique.

“Where is everyone?” Chris asked.

“They all decided it was time to go,” Mother Goose replied, taking a swig from her flask.  “They have kingdoms to run, as I'm sure you know.”

“But what about Kurt and Blaine?”

“They remembered they're fugitives from the law, and so before any of these other folks saw, they decided to resume their life on the run, since being thrown in a dungeon would spoil their fun.”

“But surely they'd be granted a pardon, after everything they did to help defeat the Enchantress.”

“Whether they would or they wouldn't I couldn't say, ‘cause before we could find out they'd scampered away.”

“Great,” Chris muttered.  “Now what am I supposed to do?”

“You could come and stay with me in Blaine's old home,” Unique offered. 

“Thanks.  I really appreciate it.”

“No problem.  I'll be glad to have the company, and I could certainly use someone to sing duets with.”

“You'd better catch a ride with Froggy and Red,” Mother Goose suggested.  “Their carriage is waiting out by that shed.”

Chris carried the magic harp outside.  He spotted Froggy, just helping Rachel into their carriage.

“Hey, Froggy, do you mind if Unique and I ride with you?  We're going to Blaine's old place, and I know it's not far from Queen Red's castle.”

“Sure.  There's plenty of room, so long as you don't mind Roary lap-hopping.”

Chris placed the magic harp in the carriage, and then climbed in after her.  As soon as he sat down, Roary leapt into his lap.  The wolf cub licked him excitedly, his whole body wriggling with delight.

Chris giggled.  “Okay, okay.  I'm glad to see you, too, boy.  But settle down a little before you sprain yourself.”

The carriage had just started rolling when Chris had a sudden thought.

“Wait!” he called out.  “The Wand of Wonderment!  Maybe that can help us reopen the portal.  We have to go back for it.”

“The wand is gone,” Unique told him.  “It vanished at the exact same instant that the Enchantress did.  I guess you were too busy making out with Darren to notice…”

Chris's brief moment of hope turned to crushing disappointment.  He let out a heavy sigh.

“Hey, don't be so blue,” Unique said.  “Living with me isn't going to be that bad.”

“I'm sorry.  I don't mean to seem ungrateful.  I'm sure living with you will be terrific.  I guess I'm just feeling homesick.”

“I understand.  But you've gotta learn how to sit back and enjoy the ride,” Unique said.  “And I think I know just the song to make you feel better.”

The magic harp played the opening chords of a familiar tune and began to sing, with Froggy coming in on the echoes:

Where they at 

     Where they at 

Where they at 

     Where they at 

Where they at 

     Where they at 

Where they at 

    Come on now

Rachel joined the other two in singing:

If you wanna go and take a ride wit me

We three-wheelin' in the fo with the gold Ds

Oh why do I live this way?

Hey — must be the money!

Froggy took the next part, with Unique providing the echoes:

In the club on the late night, feelin' right

Lookin' tryin' to spot somethin' real nice

Lookin' for a little shorty I noticed  (with a wink at Rachel)

So that I can take home (I can take home)

She can be 18 (18) wit an attitude

Or 19 kinda snotty actin' real rude

But as long as you a thicky thicky thick

Girl, you know that its on (Know that its on)

Rachel gave a flirty smile, motioning to Chris, as she sang:

I like the way you brush your hair

And I like those stylish clothes you wear

I like the way the light hit the ice and glare

And I can see you moving way over there

Caught up in the utter ridiculousness of it all, Chris couldn't resist jumping in with the others to repeat the chorus:

If you wanna go and take a ride wit me

We three-wheelin in the fo with the gold Ds

Oh why do I live this way?

Hey — must be the money!

As they all collapsed back against the walls of the carriage, laughing, Chris had to admit that he did, indeed, feel better.