Saturday, June 23

It was finally happening.  After six years of wondering about it, dreaming about it, and trying not to think about it, Kurt was actually kissing Blaine.  And Blaine was kissing him back.

Until, suddenly, he wasn't.  

Kurt's eyes flew open as Blaine took an abrupt step backwards.

“You kissed me,” Blaine said, a look of shock and wonder on his face.

“Well, to be fair, you did kiss me first,” Kurt countered.

“Yeah, but that was just to see if I had a crush on you.  Which I, um, apparently, um, do.  But I didn't think you liked me back.”

“Blaine,” Kurt said, half-laughing.  “Are you totally clueless?  I've had a crush on you since we were ten!”

“What?!  Why didn't you ever say anything?”

“Because you're my best friend, and I thought you were straight, and I didn't want to ruin our friendship.”

“Kurt, nothing could ruin our friendship.  You should know that by now.”

“I hope you're right.  Because things are about to get really complicated.”

“Why does anything have to be complicated?”

“Well, for starters, Blaine, we're not campers anymore.  We work here now.  Did it ever occur to you that our bosses might not be overjoyed at the idea of a workplace romance?  That they might feel like it's not appropriate for us to share a bunkhouse given the nature of our relationship?  What if they decide to make one of us room with Brad, and the other with Ian?”

“Oh my god, don't even joke about such a thing!”

“I'm not joking.  David and Ryan are cool, but the bottom line is, they're running a business here, not a dating service.  If they thought for one minute that our relationship was going to interfere with our work, or cause problems for them with the campers' families, don't you think they'd do something about it?”

Blaine gave Kurt a thoughtful look.  “Well, then, we'll just have to keep this to ourselves.  We've always been so close, anyway, that no one's going to notice the difference.”

“I hope you're right.”

“Of course I'm right.  Now shut up and kiss me.”

Kurt couldn't argue with that.

As he brought his lips back to Blaine's, however, Kurt felt a sudden burst of shyness.  He pulled away.

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Kurt said shakily.  “It's just that I'm really new to all of this.”

“You're new to this?  I just figured out I was gay like ten minutes ago.  You've been out for years.”

“Yeah, but I've never had a boyfriend.”

“Well, neither have I, obviously.”

“But you've had girlfriends.  You have experience.  I've never even kissed anyone before today, let alone done anything else.  I just don't know if I'm ready for all of this.”

“Kurt, baby, look at me,” Blaine said, cupping Kurt's face in his hand.

Kurt blushed at the unfamiliar term of endearment, but despite his embarrassment, he felt himself leaning in to Blaine's touch.

“There is no ‘all of this' except what you and I create together.  We never have to do anything that we don't both want to do.  And if you're worried about me having more experience, just ‘cause I had a couple of girlfriends in high school, well, it never went further than kissing with any of them.  I thought at the time it was because I was a good, upstanding Dalton Academy boy, dating good, upstanding Crawford Country Day School girls.  But looking back, I guess I was never interested in taking things further because deep down a part of me probably already knew I was gay.  So I really don't have any more idea about what I'm doing than you do.  We'll figure it out together, okay?” 

“Deal,” said Kurt, smiling.

They spent the rest of that afternoon trading kisses and talking.  Kurt finally opened up to Blaine about all of the things he'd been keeping hidden for the past six years.  Blaine's eyes welled up with tears when he heard about the bullying Kurt had experienced.

“Hey, it's okay,” Kurt said.  “I survived, and it's made me a stronger person.”

“You've always been a strong person.  And that kind of abuse is never okay.  I wish I could have been there for you.”

“Well, you're here now, and that's what counts.”

That evening, Kurt took the first shower, and, as usual, he changed into his pajamas before he came out of the bathroom.  Then he sat down at his desk to write a letter to his dad while Blaine showered.

When the bathroom door opened, Kurt looked up from his letter to see Blaine toweling off his wet hair.  “What are you doing?” Kurt squawked, whirling around to face the opposite wall.

“Drying my hair.  What does it look like I'm doing?”

“You're naked!”

“So?  We've seen each other naked hundreds of times.  What's the problem?”

“We were kids, Blaine, and it didn't mean anything.”

“So, you're saying it means something now?” Blaine asked, and Kurt could swear he heard a smirk in his voice.

“It means put on some pants, Blaine!  And a shirt wouldn't hurt, either, while you're at it.”

Kurt could hear Blaine muttering under his breath about the human body being ‘beautiful' and ‘natural' and ‘organic' as he rummaged around in his dresser.  Kurt was afraid to look up.

“Are you decent?” he finally asked.

“No.  But I've got my pajamas on, if that's what you're worried about.”

Kurt grabbed a pillow off of the bed and threw it at Blaine.  Blaine caught the pillow and whacked Kurt with it.

“Hey!” Kurt yelled, mock-indignant, “Knock it off, or I'll have to report you for domestic violence.”

“Okay, okay,” Blaine laughed, flopping onto the bed.  “C'mere and I'll read you a story.”

Kurt lay down contentedly with his head in Blaine's lap.  Listening to the rise and fall of Blaine's voice, Kurt allowed his eyes to drift shut.  He didn't think he'd ever felt this happy.

At the end of the chapter, Blaine set the book aside and began to scoot down on the bed next to him.  Kurt sat up abruptly.  “What are you doing?” he asked, sounding alarmed.

Blaine seemed bemused.  “Cuddling,” he answered.  “We always cuddle after I read to you.”

“Yeah, well, that was when it didn't mean anything.”

“What is it with you and everything having to mean something tonight?” Blaine huffed.  “Don't you want to cuddle with me?”

“Of course I want to cuddle with you.”

“Then what's the problem?”

“The problem, Blaine, is that cuddling might lead to other things.”

“Kurt, we already talked about this.  You don't have to do anything you don't want to do.”

“Yeah, but maybe I do want to.”

“Then what's the –”

“Blaine, if you say ‘what's the problem' one more time tonight, I swear I'm going to smother you with this pillow!” Kurt yelled, exasperated.  “The problem is that just because I want something, that doesn't necessarily mean that I'm ready for it, okay?  Now, will you please get out of my bed?!”

“Okay,” Blaine said in a small voice, standing up.

Kurt immediately felt guilty.  

“Hey, Blaine, I'm sorry I yelled at you,” he said, standing up to join Blaine.  “I'm not mad at you.  I just really don't want to rush into anything.”  Kurt took a deep breath.  “And when you're so close to me, it's hard for me to trust myself,” he admitted.  “Forgive me?”

“Of course.  And I get it.  I promise, I'm not trying to push you into anything.  I really want you to be comfortable, so that I can be comfortable.”

“I know,” Kurt said.  

He gazed fondly at Blaine, who was standing a few feet away from him, still looking a little forlorn.  “C'mere,” he said, opening his arms to wrap Blaine in a hug.

Blaine clung to him tightly.  “I warned you that this was going to be complicated,” Kurt told him.

“Yeah,” Blaine murmured into his shoulder, “but it's worth it.”