June 24, 2016, 7 p.m.
As a White Knight on His Steed - Klaine Edition: Go Ask Alice
E - Words: 1,170 - Last Updated: Jun 24, 2016 Story: Complete - Chapters: 39/? - Created: Feb 12, 2016 - Updated: Feb 12, 2016 223 0 0 0 0
Yes, Go Ask Alice is an actual website, and all of the links I described are really there, even the one for “Doin' the butt.” Seriously, folks, I couldn't make this stuff up.
By this point, you know the drill – please review! :)
Thursday, August 2 – Friday, August 3
Kurt led Blaine up to his bedroom. Closing the door with a soft click, he turned to find his boyfriend crowding against him. Leaning in close, Blaine whispered in his ear, “Do you want to see what a kiss-ass I can be?”
“Blaine!” Kurt hissed. “I told you – we are not having sex in my dad's house!”
“I thought maybe a little ass kissing wouldn't count.”
“Blaine, you're the one who said everything counts.”
“Damn — foiled by my own brilliance.”
“Come on,” Kurt said, laughing, “it's been a long day. Let's get some sleep.”
The boys woke up to sunlight streaming through the curtains in Kurt's room. Kurt yawned and stretched, enjoying the luxury of having been able to sleep in on a weekday. Next to him, Blaine stirred sleepily, cuddling closer. Kurt kissed his boyfriend's forehead, then rolled out of bed.
“Hey, no, where are you going?” Blaine complained, reaching for him.
“You can go back to sleep if you want. I'm going to go make breakfast for my dad.”
“I'll help.”
Kurt and Blaine made Burt a delicious — and heart-healthy — breakfast. Then, at Blaine's request, the three of them sat down on the sofa to look at old family photo albums. Kurt made a point of loudly bemoaning his mistake the previous evening, when he'd invited his dad to show naked baby pictures to his boyfriend, but he was secretly pleased that the two of them were getting along so well.
When Carole and Finn arrived home, Kurt proudly introduced them to Blaine. Carole pulled him into a hug, Finn clapped him on the shoulder, and suddenly Blaine was a member of the family. Kurt thought with a slight pang that he wished his mother could be there, as well. Still, having all of the people he loved under one roof, getting along, was more than he'd ever dreamed he could have.
The day passed quickly, and soon Carole, who'd been up at dawn to drive home from her sister's, excused herself to go to bed. Yawning broadly, Kurt said, “I think we'll head to bed early, too. Goodnight, dad.”
“Goodnight, Kurt. Goodnight, Blaine.”
“Goodnight Burt. See you in the morning.”
Kurt and Blaine made their way upstairs. Once they were in Kurt's room with the door closed, Blaine asked, “Are you seriously tired already? It's only eight o'clock.”
Kurt smiled at him conspiratorially. “I thought we could do a little research, but I didn't want my dad to know he was getting his way.”
It took a moment for Blaine to realize what his boyfriend was talking about, but once he did he let out a bark of laughter. “You want to check out that website he mentioned, don't you?”
“Well, yeah. Don't you?” Kurt asked, turning on his laptop.
“Definitely. What was it called, again?”
“Go Ask Alice. Like that book about the girl on drugs that I've heard about but never read… Okay, here it is,” Kurt said, clicking on the first link to appear in google. “Where do you think we go from here?”
“Try the Q & A Library,” Blaine suggested.
“Okay. Now, I guess we want Sexual and Reproductive Health.”
“Well, not the reproductive part, so much.”
Kurt laughed. “Okay. Wow – there are so many headings to choose from. And some of them seem a little scary…”
“Let's pick something basic, to start with. How about Sexual Questions? That sounds pretty generic.”
“Okay. But now we've got a lot more headings. Wanna try Anal Sex?”
Blaine snorted, and Kurt shoved his shoulder. “Hey! You know I didn't mean it like that!”
Blaine grinned at him. “Baby, you're blushing.”
“Shut up.”
Blaine bumped their shoulders together. “Sorry. Go ahead and click on the Anal Sex link.”
“Okay. But now we've got all these questions to choose from. And I am not going to be the one to suggest anything else tonight.”
“Come on. I said I was sorry.”
“Yeah, but you didn't mean it.”
“You're right. You're just too much fun to tease.”
“Well, turn-about is fair play. So you just wait…”
“Here, this one sounds good. ‘Doin' the butt.' Click on that.”
“You would pick the one topic that sounds like it was written by a middle-schooler with a dirty mind rather than an Ivy League doctor.”
“Hey, you said I could choose. That's the one I wanna read.”
“Fine,” Kurt said resignedly. “You read it out loud, then.”
So Blaine read, one topic after another, putting on various accents and funny voices, until both boys were rolling around on the bed, laughing uncontrollably.
When they finally stopped to catch their breath, Kurt turned to Blaine, suddenly serious. “You know, I'm glad we're learning about this stuff, because I think it's good information to have. But honestly, I don't know if it sounds like something I'd be comfortable actually doing.”
“Kurt, you know we never have to do anything you don't want to. And look, it says right here ‘Not all gay men have anal sex.' So it's not like the Gay Sex Police are going to come and take away your membership card if it's not something you're into.”
“But is it something you're into? Because I don't want you to feel frustrated, or like you're not getting what you need out of our relationship.”
Blaine set the laptop aside to take both of Kurt's hands in his own. “Baby, look at me,” he said, voice low and earnest. “I love you. Nothing's going to change that. All I need out of our relationship is to know that you love me back. And that has nothing to do with whether or not you ever want to fuck me in the ass.”
“Wait – you'd want me to top?”
“Kurt, I told you. I don't want you to do anything you're not comfortable with. But yeah, I guess, when I've imagined it, I've always pictured you inside me. Why? Have you been thinking about it the other way ‘round?”
“Um, yeah,” Kurt admitted. “And it seems kind of scary. Not that I don't trust you, because you know I totally do. I'm just afraid that it would be awkward, and uncomfortable, and that I wouldn't enjoy it… And then how could I possibly want to do something to you that I wouldn't want you doing to me?”
“Kurt, baby, I know it doesn't seem like it sometimes, because we're so close, but we are two different people. We're not always going to like the same things, or want the same things. And that's okay. When you think about ‘doing something to me,' all you need to care about is whether it's something you'll enjoy doing and I'll enjoy having you do. It doesn't matter whether you're ever going to want me to reciprocate or not. I just get off on making you feel good, and I hope you feel the same way.”
“Oh, god, I so do.”
“Well, then, do you think that topping is something that might make you feel good?”
“Can I think about it and get back to you on that one?”
“Take all the time you need. Now, are you ready for the G-rated version of that back rub I promised you?”
“That sounds perfect.”