PO WS HZ

Guys, seriously? Do you know how to write a chapter? What even is this… I don't even know HOW! I can't figure out what to do with this big empty page…

Have any of you ever met someone who just like… I don't know. They're one of your closest friends, so there's that, but like… they just make you wanna laugh and cry at the same time whenever you think about them? But it would never work, and it kills. Do you know where I'm coming from?

But, in the words of some GENIUS Niff writer things are at "the usual undercurrent of teen angst", so yup.

Okay, confession time: David knew more about people than he actually should.

It wasn't like he tried to get the latest scoop or was a terrible eavesdropper, but that because of it he was approachable. David was just one of those people who others were drawn to naturally, so he knew all kinds of secrets. He knew that Trent was terrified to graduate because he felt too dumb to get into college. He knew that Thad was desperate to please his overbearing parents. He knew that Wes didn't actually know what he was doing, that Jeff was sick of being compared to his older brother, and that Nick was painfully shy when not around Jeff.

And through knowing so much about people by their telling him, David started to know things about people just by observing them. For example, he knew that Trent was always "sick" on report card day because he didn't want to be asked what his grades were. He knew Thad was stressed because he put too much on his plate to please his mom and dad. He knew Wes didn't actually like being a leader, that Jeff sometimes acted out to get some attention (even if it ended with a "why can't you be more like…?"), and that Nick was scared to be so dependent on Jeff but more scared to be without him.

So naturally, David couldn't help but know quite a bit about Blaine.

It was obvious that Blaine was going through a rough time… Kurt had really done him in, but David could see more than the heartbreak that everyone else did. He could see that it was more than that. Because Kurt, Blaine's perfect Kurt, the one who was supposed to treat him right, had ignored him and basically told him through his actions that Blaine wasn't good enough.

It made David's head hurt just to think about it. Because, while Wes didn't know everything that happened at Blaine's old school, David did. And it was heartbreaking. Ohio was a crap state with crap people and the most ridiculous homophobes David hoped to exist (There couldn't be worse. There just couldn't…). What they did to Blaine –heck, what they did to Kurt- was terrible and wrong, and David would rather hope that neither –yes, neither- would have to go through any of the torment they already suffered through again.

So with the knowledge of Blaine's past, the way he looked when he came to Dalton that fateful first day, and the way he looked now all looped under his belt, David could come to a couple big conclusions.

Conclusion #1: Blaine felt worthless.

That may have been a blatant way to put it, even in his own brain, but David couldn't think of any other way to go about saying it. It was also impossibly easy to see if you could get break that initial sight of heartbrokenness that seemed to swallow the younger boy up. The way his shoulders kind of hunched in and how he took up less space in class were the clearest signs that David could think of, but there was more subtext than that. The look in his eyes… well, David could just tell. He also knew it had everything to do with Kurt, and everything to do with past demons, and nothing to do with Blaine's strength.

Conclusion #2: Blaine was scared.

David didn't even have to be good at reading other people to know this one. Blaine was just obviously twitchy and nervous looking, dodging comforting hands like they might break him. He was acting like his skin was made of paper and his bones were made of glass, and he had to be careful. Careful around everyone. And that saddened David a little bit. Dalton was safe; it had always been safe. Blaine just needed to realize that again. No one would hurt him here, not emotionally or physically. It was a haven, but Blaine seemed to have forgotten that.

Conclusion #3: Blaine was hopeless.

No. David didn't mean hopeless in a way that he thought the little guy could never get any better, but in a way where Blaine thought he could never get any better. Not only did he seem to be slipping into the sadness enveloping him with a somewhat scary acceptance, but he seemed… Okay, David didn't want to be the one to admit it, but Blaine seemed like he didn't think anyone else would want him. He was treating Kurt like a one and only shot that he had blown.

David had noticed quite a bit to come to these conclusions, but now that he had them, he wasn't quite sure what he was supposed to do. He wasn't good at initiating conversations in general, let alone such… uncomfortable ones. Wes was usually the one to start talking for them. They were always together, so that was never a big deal, but crap… Wes was sitting right next to them, but David couldn't just keep sitting there and waiting for him to speak up and tell Blaine to stop picking at his food and just eat something.

He shot an awkward look between the two boys flanking him. Wes had his jaw set in a straight line, and David knew how this was affecting him. He felt the exact same way. Not to be weird, but Blaine was their baby. When he first came to Dalton… it was instant. He was their wittle boy, and they were going to take care of him until they were lying in their graves. So David knew better than anyone how much Wes hated seeing Blaine this way.

He could see it by the protective flash in his eye and the 'bite me' stance he took in the hallway whenever they walked to class… It made David pity Kurt Hummel more than words could describe because Wes was ready to kill.

From the talks he and Wes had been having, David was aware of how hard it was for Blaine to get to sleep. They also showed how much it was stressing Wes. The older boy was about ready to tear his hair out, and David didn't know what to tell him. He was a listener. Always was, always will be. He didn't dole out advice, and he was honestly regretting it now.

David sighed, swirling around the remaining mush of his cereal and attempting to process all of this. What was he supposed to do? With a murmur of doubt, he grabbed a banana from the center of the table they were sitting at in their block and passed it to Blaine. "Here, bud. Finish that," he directed, the smallest bit of relief washing over him as Blaine peeled down the sides and took a bite.

Kurt was honestly trying to pay attention to the movie that was playing before him, but it was rather difficult with Sam cuddling so close to him, arms possessively around his waist. He had finally been able to do something couple-y for once, and it felt… weird. Snuggling with Sam. They didn't fit right anymore… or maybe they never did. Kurt didn't know. He just wanted to watch Mulan like a normal person and not think for a moment.

Kurt was completely sick of thinking. It felt like all he was capable of doing was replaying the past school year in his brain and trying to see what he let slip… what he let show. Where had he gone wrong? How did Blaine know? He wasn't sold at first when his Dad said he had, but now he was thinking, and… He had to have known. Crap. He thought he had been juggling two boyfriends perfectly, but apparently he wasn't as great as he thought.

At least Sam was being a good sport about singing along. He had most of the words down, anyways. Although, who wouldn't? No matter what your age or gender, you'd be a liar if you said you didn't know all the words to at least half of the songs. They were reaching "Girl Worth Fighting For", and Kurt couldn't help but smirk.

Blaine Quirk #43: While every person on the planet's favorite Disney song, let alone Mulan, was "I'll Make A Man Out of You", his favorite had always been "Girl Worth Fighting For". No question.

Regardless, aside from Sam's body suddenly feeling a bit awkward pressed up against his, the night had been going pretty smoothly. Kurt loved the featheriness of Sam's hair against his cheek as he curled into him, and he liked the way Sam's arms were latched around him like, "Don't touch! He's mine!" It was great. It was fine… Or, it was until Sam's fingers knitted through his own. Kurt loved holding hands, and Sam's were warm and soft in his own. Kurt attempted to memorize the feel of them.

And that's what made him break.

Because… crap. Crap. They were holding hands. They were holding hands for the first time. They had been together for months, and Kurt hadn't taken a single chance to do anything of the sort yet. Crap. Hands. Kurt loved hands. He loved brushes of fingertips and linking together as he walked down the hallway at school. Sam and Kurt hadn't held hands.

Kurt's breath caught in his throat.

He felt disgusting. Crap. He hadn't held hands! Why hadn't he held hands? That was the most important thing he could ever do with someone, hold their hand and find strength, but he hadn't done that with Sam. And suddenly, "Girl Worth Fighting For" was a bit too much to bear listening to, and he broke away from the blonde's hold on him.

"Kurt, wha-"

"Oh, my gosh, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Kurt apologized, tears springing to his eyes as he paced the length of the floor, not caring about getting in Sam's way of the screen. "I'm sorry, crap. We never held hands!" he babbled, talking more to himself than anyone else. He saw Sam arch an eyebrow out of the corner of his eye, but he was apparently content on letting him do his thing. "Crap, what are we doing?" he asked, looking to the other boy. Sam didn't answer, just continued to look at him like he was crazy, and Kurt wanted to cry.

"I don't know what you're-"

"No, you know what?" Kurt asked, cutting him off. "It's fine, I just…" he looked about the room helplessly for a minute before letting his shoulders sag for a minute and tearing his jacket off the back of the chair, digging his keys out from their bowl. "I have to go," he told him, walking out the front door and wincing as the cold, February air hit him in the face. Ugh. Winter!

"No, Kurt, wait! Where are you going?" Sam yelped behind him, and Kurt could hear him chasing after him as he half walked, half jogged to his car. He slammed the door as he got in. Turning the key in the ignition, regret hit him like a ton of bricks. What was he doing? Why would he… How…? His stomach felt like it was attempting to twist itself into a bow, and he wished it would stop because it felt like his organs were wringing themselves out, and the result was tears slipping down his face.

What was he doing?

Sam, meanwhile was tapping on his window. He could hear his muffled 'Are you okay's through the glass, and they were growing impossible to ignore. Oh gosh, Sam. Just go away. Go away. He didn't want Sam right now, he wanted… Blaine. Yes, he wanted Blaine, and all he had was a stupid, high school jock who didn't know how to be in a relationship right. Kurt peered over the backseat, checking to see that his battery-powered stereo was still in the back seat (cause he played old school). He practically relearned how to breathe the second he saw it still there, and immediately started flicking through his CD case. Hello, Dolly? Maybe? It would have to do…

Kurt backed out of the driveway, a long ride ahead of him.

Hmm… I hope that left you on a curious note! YAY! GO TEAM! Now I'm tired and a bit grumps, as it is officially 15 minutes past midnight. AKA: it's not Darren's birthday anymore. Sigh…