Missed Call from Noah Puckerman

Sunday, July 31st at 6:37 a.m.

"Dude. It's Puck. What the fuck, man? How did you get invited to a Lila Anderson party? Call me. This is major."

Missed Call from Noah Puckerman

Sunday, July 31st at 6:47 a.m.

"Okay, so remember that time I broke into Rachel Berry's Dads' liquor cabinet? That was pretty cool, right? I'm not saying you owe me or anything, but...you should call me, bro. We should definitely hang out."

Missed Call from Noah Puckerman

Sunday, July 31st at 6:58 a.m.

"Dude, where the fuck are you? I just drove by your house and your car isn't even there."

Missed Call from Noah Puckerman

Sunday, July 31st at 7:13 a.m.

Hey, man. We got cut off - I think your phone died or something. Listen, don't forget to tell Lila that we're boys, all right? And I totally dig Blake, too. He's a cool guy."

Missed Call from Mercedes Jones

Sunday, July 31st at 9:04 a.m.

"Kurt is your phone seriously off? Your phone is never off. What the hell? Do you have any idea what Aaron Kirkpatrick just posted on Facebook? Call me."

Missed Call from Santana Lopez

Sunday, July 31st at 10:13 a.m.

"Okay, Hummel, even I thought that was hot. And you know what I'm talking about. You didn't get enough face time, though. Give me a call and I'll throw you some tips on how to maximize your exhibitionism. Trust me. I'm in talks for a pre-contract with Maxim for the day I turn eighteen."

Missed Call from Noah Puckerman

Sunday, July 31st at 11:21 a.m.

"Hey, dude, Finn told me you're staying at Blake's all weekend. If you happen to see Lila around, could you mention I shot her a friend request on Facebook? Also, if you want, I can always stop by with a couple six-packs if you want to get the party going again..."

Missed Call from Tina Cohen-Chang

Sunday, July 31st at 11:48 a.m.

"Kurt, are you serious? I just...are you serious? I need details. Call me."

Missed Call from Brittany Pierce

Sunday, July 31st at 12:17 p.m.

"Hi, Kurt. I'm calling to formally invite you and Blaine to be guests on the internet talk show Fondue for Two. The topic is gay men having sex in pools. This is an exciting opportunity, and I hope you won't pass it up. Call me!"

Missed Call from Mercedes Jones

Sunday, July 31st at 12:39 p.m.

"Kurt! Turn on your damn phone! Don't make me hunt you down!"

Missed Call from Tina Cohen-Chang

Sunday, July 31st at 1:21 p.m.

"Okay, listen, Kurt. I sprained my ankle hiking and Mike is at work and I have nothing to do but sit in my room all day, and this video is pretty much the only thing I have going on in my life right now. So seriously. Call me."

Missed Call from Santana Lopez

Sunday, July 31st at 1:24 p.m.

"Okay, seriously, Kurt. This is getting out of control. Puck and Finn are getting all hyped up on testosterone, and it's even less pretty than usual. Where the hell are you?"

Missed Call from Mercedes Jones

Sunday, July 31st at 1:30 p.m.

"Oh, hell to the no! Your phone is on, and you're seriously letting me go to voicemail, you little bitch? I am going to kill you, Kurt!"

Missed Call from Lauren Zizes

Sunday, July 31st at 1:34 p.m.

"Hummel. Listen. It has come to my attention that you've got a budding career as an internet porn star. You'll be needing representation. We should talk."

Missed Call from Finn Hudson

Sunday, July 31st at 1:39 p.m.

"Kurt, I just want to let you know I'm on this. You're my brother, and I'm not letting that douchebag get away with this crap. It's on, dude. It's seriously on."

Missed Call from Noah Puckerman

Sunday, July 31st at 1:42 p.m.

"Hey, Kurt. I don't know if Finn called you yet, but I just want to let you know we're handling this. I was totally going to kick that cocksucker's ass this morning, I just...oh, uh, no offense or anything. I mean, whatever, if you're into sucking cock, that's cool and everything...uh...just a figure of speech. You know you're my boy, right? Like, not in a cocksucking way, though. But in a non-cocksucking way, you're definitely my boy."

Missed Call from Mercedes Jones

Sunday, July 31st at 1:45 p.m.

"Kurt, this isn't even funny anymore. I think Finn and Puck are going to end up getting arrested. Call me."

Missed Call from Rachel Berry

Sunday, July 31st at 1:48 p.m.

"Kurt, I don't know what kind of attention-seeking stunt you're trying to pull, but enough is enough. My Dads say that this is exactly the kind of thing that just encourages offensive stereotypes of gay men everywhere. It was incredibly irresponsible of you to allow that footage to be taken, because let's be honest, we both know what Blaine is like when he's drunk, and if you honestly think-"

Missed Call from Wesley Vandermere

Sunday, July 31st at 1:51 p.m.

"Hey, Kurt, Blaine isn't answering his phone so I figured I'd give you a try. You boys are filthy, filthy whores, Kurt. Especially Blaine. Tell him I said that. And tell him to give me a call."

Missed Call from Brittany Pierce

Sunday, July 31st at 1:57 p.m.

"Hi, Kurt, it's Brittany again. I also wanted to add that the host of Fondue for Two has requested that you guys do a dramatic re-enactment your hit YouTube video in her bathtub. She'll even pay you in fondue. Call me."

Missed Call from Tina Cohen-Chang

Sunday, July 31st at 2:02 p.m.

"Kurt. Take pity on me, please. What's going on? Are you and Blaine going to be posting more videos? Call me back!"

Missed Call from Mike Chang

Sunday, July 31st at 2:04 p.m.

"Okay fine, it's me again. I just figured if I called you from Mike's phone that you might pick up, since you obviously have a thing for awesome abs. And don't say you don't, because I saw that video. Can I get a fist bump? Call me!"

Missed Call from Burt Hummel

Sunday, July 31st at 2:29 p.m.

"Hey, Kurt, I was hoping I'd catch you, but you're probably talking to Blaine. I just wanted to thank you again for calling me, and also for being such a responsible kid. It's good to know we have one of those around here, anyway – Carol just went to pick Finn up at the police station. Turns out he and Puck tore into the ice cream store where Ean Kirkpatrick's boy works and just pummeled the hell out of the kid. In broad daylight, completely unprovoked. I don't know what the hell is going on, but we'll get to the bottom of it, don't you worry. See you tomorrow, son. "

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