"All right, this is not healthy, Blaine."

Blaine didn't open his eyes. He was lying on top of his bed, his untouched dinner on the table to his left.

I love him.

I love him.

I love him.

It was like a droning background noise inside Blaine's head that made it impossible for him to concentrate on anything else. Kurt loved Firae. Blaine now lived in a world where he knew this to be true. Kurt wasn't just going to marry Firae because he thought he had to. It seemed increasingly likely that Kurt was going to marry Firae because he wanted to.

Blaine hated his life and he didn't care if he never left his cell and he hoped that Puck would just go away.

"I'm not going away."

Blaine sighed, but didn't open his eyes, even when he felt the weight of Puck sitting down on the bed next to him.

"This is getting pathetic. You're not even good for attracting ladies anymore. You've gotten too depressing."

Blaine continued to ignore him.

"Blaine, snap out of it. Your whole life can't be about one person. There's probably plenty of men to bone in Khryslee. You don't see me lying in my own filth and moaning about some woman."

Blaine opened his eyes and propped himself on his elbows.

"First of all, Puck, I am not lying in my own filth, thank you very much. And second-" Blaine held up his wrist dramatically- "note the absence of a red bracelet. I don't just want a willing partner. I want...I want someone to be in love with. Someone who loves me just as much."

Blaine let his arm fall back down to his side.

"Okay, I get it. I know you're miserable right now, and if I were into fucking men, I would definitely do what I could to make you feel better, but seriously, friend. There is a world beyond Kurt."

Blaine simply stared at Puck for a moment, unsure of which part of the statement he should react to, or even what his reaction should be.

"I mean...what did you want to do with your life before you met him?"

Blaine considered. That was a very good question. He could certainly tell Puck what he had been planning to do – work for Dronyen and continue to get promoted and then maybe buy a better house for his mother when he could afford it and...well, things got a bit fuzzy after that. But he'd never really thought about what he wanted to do.

"I don't think I ever really knew," Blaine answered honestly. "There was never anything that I really wanted for my future until...well, until Kurt."

"Okay, but what if you never met Kurt? Or what if he died or something?"

"Puck! Don't even say that!"

Puck raised an eyebrow at him. "Really, Blaine? Because you know that even if you and Kurt got married and went off to spend years fucking and...I don't know, watching sunsets and shit in Khryslee, he would have to deal with that. You're human, and you are going to die much, much sooner than any of us. Kurt's going to have to think about a future without you no matter what happens. So...you know, you should too. It's only fair."

Blaine sat up completely and began absentmindedly playing with the lamp dial on the wall.

"I think you may have a point, Puck," he finally admitted. "But I honestly have no idea what I want to do."

"Well," Puck replied, maybe I can help you. I'm pretty good at this kind of thing."

"Oh? Did you always want to be a guard for the King?"

Puck laughed. "Nah, I'm actually just a reservist, but I'm doing this as a favor to Kurt. My real job is helping to manage the baths. I'm a water-bearer."

"Oh. Wow. That's...amazing, Puck. I had no idea."

Puck shrugged, but made no attempt at humility. "Yeah, I am pretty awesome at it. And it's a great way to meet ladies."

"But...why did Kurt ask you to guard me? If there are so many other guards and you already have a job, I mean."

Puck smirked. "Well, Kurt is my friend. And most members of the guard are really loyal to Firae, and some of them aren't such big fans of Kurt. Kurt wanted you with someone he could trust."

Blaine nodded, wondering how anyone could dislike Kurt.

"Also, I speak flawless Villaluan, and Kurt wanted you to be around someone you could talk to. There are only three members of the guard who are fluent and who Kurt trusts. Kiiz and Vrac you know," Puck said, referring to Blaine's other two guards who watched him when Puck was off-duty, and Runa...Kurt didn't want Runa spending time with you."

"Why not?" Blaine asked, puzzled.

Puck laughed. "He didn't exactly say, but I'd wager it's because Runa's this really sexy guy who would totally want to bone you, and I don't think Kurt wanted him to...uh...you know...bone you."

Blaine felt his face creep into his first small smile of the day.

"Kurt was jealous?" He asked softly, not sure if he should be admonishing himself for the comfort it gave him.

Puck laughed. "Hell yeah, Kurt was jealous. But, Blaine...we're kind of still just talking about Kurt. I thought we were going to talk about you."

Blaine sighed. "I know. But what else do I even have?"

"Well, you don't have him anymore." Puck visibly winced at his own statement, but didn't back away from it. "Sorry. I don't mean to be a dick. But...well, what are some other things you like, besides Kurt?"

Blaine continued to fiddle with the dial on the wall. It was true, he didn't have Kurt anymore. And short of simply taking his own life, there was no solution except to move forward.

Not that he hadn't thought of taking his own life. But...well, initially he had dismissed the idea because he knew how much it would upset Kurt. But the truth was that Blaine wasn't done living. He was still only twenty (or perhaps twenty-one by now, he mused, wondering what month it was), and he had learned there was a place in the world where he could be himself. Whether or not he was being himself with Kurt. And in all honesty, he did still want to go to Khryslee.

But what did he like besides Kurt?

"You like having sex with men," Puck supplied helpfully. "There's always a living to be made in that."

"No," Blaine answered firmly.

"Well, at least I'm trying here, friend."

"I'm good with weapons," Blaine ventured. Puck looked thoughtful for a moment before shaking his head.

"Probably wouldn't do you much good in Khryslee, to be honest. Even hunting is prohibited there."

"I...well...I like cheese," Blaine muttered feebly.

To his surprise, Puck's eyes lit up. "Well, hey! That's an idea! You could be a cheesemaker or a dairy farmer or the like. I hear the dairy trade is fucking lucrative in Khryslee."

"But Puck, I don't know anything about actually making cheese or raising goats or cows or-"

"But you know you like cheese, right? It's like, before you had sex, you didn't know what you were doing, but you knew you liked dick, so you learned. Same thing."

Puck smiled, looking very satisfied with the analogy.

Blaine also smiled a bit, in spite of himself.

"Thanks, Puck. I just don't know how I'm even going to get started, though. I don't have any money, or...do they even have money in Khryslee?"

Puck shrugged. "Mostly they barter, I think, though there may be some kind of coinage in circulation too. I'm not sure. But as far as getting started, Kurt will make sure you're set up. You saved his life and got him home and fucked his brains out the whole way here. He won't just leave you out to dry."

Blaine sighed. No, Kurt wouldn't leave him out to dry. He would leave him, certainly, but he did seem to still care about Blaine, and so Kurt would help him get situated in this new life.

This new life that felt like it would only ever be hollow and colorless and gray.

Blaine wondered if his heart would ever heal. He wondered if he would ever get over Kurt. He wondered if he would ever be happy again.

He didn't know. All he did know was that he had lost Kurt forever, and that made him feel restless. Restless to get out of this cell, to get out of Cloudlen, even to get away from Puck simply because Puck knew Kurt.

"I wonder if Firae is ever going to let me go," he grumbled.

Puck looked at him with surprise. "Oh. Didn't Kurt tell you?"

Blaine looked at him. "Tell me what?"

"Firae said he'll let you go. He even said Kurt can bring you to Khryslee-" Blaine's heart leapt- "after the wedding." The leap ended in a crippling crash.

"Oh," Blaine answered, his voice small. He took a deep breath. "Puck, does that mean- when is the wedding? Do you know?"

Puck paused for a bit too long before meeting Blaine's eyes.

"Yes," he finally said, sounding sadder and more serious than Blaine had ever heard him. "They are taking their soul-walks tomorrow. And the next day-"

"They'll be married," Blaine finished in a whisper.

"Yes."

"I just thought - do you think – I mean, I thought Kurt would visit me before...why didn't he tell me himself?"

"Probably because he's been pretending to meditate for the last two days but he's actually been crying his eyes out in his room," Puck answered softly, still in that serious tone. "Blaine, I don't know if he can. Tomorrow night, the betrothed are only allowed to interact with one another after the soul-walk, and tonight...I've just never seen him like this."

Blaine simply nodded, a tear sliding down his cheek. It gave him no relief to know that this was painful for Kurt as well.

"Puck?" He asked softly.

"Yes?"

"Could you...I don't mean to be rude, but could I have some time to myself please?"

Puck nodded and stood. "Sure," he answered gently. "But only if you agree to go to the baths this afternoon. Heartbreak is awful, friend, but it's no excuse for letting yourself turn into an unfuckable mess."

Blaine nodded in response. "Okay."

Blaine waited for Puck to leave his cell before burying his face in his pillow to muffle his loud, shuddering sobs.

Kurt took a deep breath and promised himself, once again, that he would stop crying.

He had been in his chamber all day, and couldn't remember the last time he had had anything to eat. He needed a bath badly, and was nowhere near mentally prepared for his soul-walk the following day.

This was it. This was his life. He was going to have to behave like an adult and accept it.

Kurt forced himself to pick at the honeysuckle bush just outside his window, looking across the moonlit gardens of the Great Hall with a sigh. He definitely needed to bathe, but he didn't want to go to the Royal baths, for fear that he might see Firae or Tash or, gods forbid, Sree.

Kurt decided that the walk to the public baths would probably do him good anyhow, and the larger pools were likely to be quite empty. Not many elves bathed at night, save for couples who sought the more secluded smaller pools for their activities.

As he immersed himself in the clear pool Kurt looked up at the moon, doing his meditation exercises for his Rite the following day. He was actually able to attain the proper level of trance for a few moments before thoughts of Blaine once again invaded his placid inner world.

He tried not to let the trickle of the waterfall remind him of the time that he and Blaine had made love beneath a waterfall in S'aufa.

When he reached for the puffy white flowers along the banks in order to wash himself, he tried not to remember the time that he and Blaine had ritually bathed one another before making love at the foot of the Great Mother's shrine.

And when he noticed a shrub dotted with large red flowers close to the line of trees behind the baths, Kurt bit his lip and tried not to cry.

As he walked back to the Hall, Kurt found himself taking an entirely unnecessary detour without even intending to.

All right, so he was going to walk past the North Tower. That was fine. But he was absolutely not going to stop.

Kurt swore to himself when he realized he was standing in front of the tower.

He willed his legs to move him back in the direction of the Hall, but a strange flickering caught his eye. The window of the cell where Blaine was being held was dimming and brightening in a strange rhythm.

Kurt puzzled over it for a moment before remembering that he had noticed Blaine fiddling with the lights the last time he was there. And then Blaine's expression when he had seen his first pixie was in Kurt's mind, and the innocent wonder that seemed to wash over Blaine whenever he encountered something new and exciting from Faerie country, and Kurt imagined that Blaine must have reacted in the same way when he first discovered the lights, and Kurt was sorry he'd missed it because he loved how excited Blaine got about things like that, and suddenly Kurt found himself climbing the spiraling staircase toward Blaine's cell.

He had to stop. He had to go back to the Hall. What was he even doing? Seeing Blaine would only make everything worse for both of them.

Kurt stopped near the entrance to Blaine's cell. He leaned his forehead against the wall and took some deep breaths. There was still time. He could leave. He didn't have to do this.

Kurt walked to the entrance of the cell. The heavy outer door was open but the inner barred door was in place, and Blaine and Puck were sitting on the bed and conversing softly. Kurt paused for a moment before lightly rapping his knuckle against the bars.

They both looked up at him. No one said anything.

Finally, Puck stood up. "Come on in, Kurt," he said. "It's unlocked."

The only reason Kurt didn't smile was because he wasn't sure he remembered how at the moment. Despite the dull sadness that was slowly becoming his new emotional baseline, he was very happy that Firae had agreed to let Puck stay with Blaine.

Kurt pushed the barred inner door open and stepped into the room. He tried not to look Blaine in the eye, but he felt something akin to a magnetic pull, forcing him to meet Blaine's gaze, to bear the pain he saw there, to endure the intensity and the longing.

Puck cleared his throat. "I'll just...I'll give you some time alone," he muttered, squeezing Kurt's shoulder on his way out of the room, and closing both doors behind him.

Kurt tried to tell Puck that he didn't need to go. He tried to say that there was no reason for Puck to go, that he didn't even mean to come, that he couldn't stay-

"Blaine," he heard himself say.

Blaine continued to hold his gaze. "You're getting married in two days," Blaine said softly, his tone begging Kurt to refute the statement.

"Puck told you."

"Yes. But why didn't...you should have told me, Kurt."

Kurt nodded. "I should have. I just...I...it's too much, Blaine."

"You're telling me it's too much, Kurt? At least you'll be happy. At least you'll be able to spend your life with someone you love."

Kurt's face crumpled, and he tore his gaze away from Blaine's so that he could sob into his hands.

And even in his anger, even in his hurt, Blaine was with him in an instant, his arms wrapping around Kurt and rubbing his back to soothe him. Because that was who Blaine was. That was who Kurt was giving up. He clutched Blaine and breathed him in and cried until he could form words again.

Kurt's first attempt at coherent speech was unsuccessful, so Blaine pulled away slightly and looked at him.

"It's okay, Kurt," Blaine said, "just...slow down. What did you say?"

"I said," Kurt managed between shaking breaths, "that of course I won't be happy, you idiot!"

Blaine's eyes widened in surprise. Kurt had never spoken to him that way before.

"But...you said you love him, Kurt. I thought..."

"Blaine," Kurt said, their eyes locking once more, "I do love him. But I'm in love with you. And there is most definitely a difference."

Neither of them were exactly sure when it happened.

But it quickly became apparent that they were no longer looking at each other because they were kissing each other, and it was passionate and raw and intense and when Kurt tried to pull back and mutter an apology because Blaine had already told him that he didn't want this if Kurt was going to be with Firae, Blaine just dove at him and kissed him even harder.

It wasn't a blur because every second of contact was sharp and clear and completely real, but it was happening very, very fast. Blaine pulled Kurt toward the bed, their clothing falling away in a trail behind them, until they fell onto the mattress together, naked and pressed close.

And every touch was urgency. Every touch was fire. There had been too many words and too many tears and everything else was broken, but this, this was whole and unruptured. This was Kurt and Blaine, their essences mingled, this was what they created together that could never be replicated or destroyed.

Blaine reached under the mattress and pulled out a bottle of rose-tinted fluid. Kurt didn't fight the soft laugh that escaped him, but he didn't quip about Blaine always being prepared either.

They didn't speak and they didn't cry.

Urgency melted into reverence and they took their time, kissing each other all over, stroking one another and sighing with pleasure. Each man gave extra attention to his favorite parts of the other, memorizing lines and curves and tastes and textures. They did the things that they knew would produce the most delicious noises from one another, drawing it out, making each other blind with arousal but holding off on anything that could lead to release.

And every few moments, whatever they were doing turned back into kissing. The intimacy of their faces pressed close, their breath becoming one, was so much of what they needed right now.

Kurt spread his legs and Blaine began working him open, and they both just knew that this was how they wanted it this time.

They kissed while Blaine moved his fingers in and out of Kurt's body, and they kissed as Kurt lifted his legs to wrap around Blaine's waist and slowly pull him inside.

They made love slowly, more slowly than they ever had before. When they weren't kissing, they were looking at each other with tenderness, holding on to the moment for as long as possible, willing time to stand still if only they could figure out how to keep making love forever.

But time did not stand still, and the tenderness inevitably flared back into passion, and Blaine's thrusts became hard and desperate and before long Kurt was crying out as he came, Blaine following soon after.

And even after the lovemaking ended, the kisses continued, hands caressing one another's necks and shoulders and faces, fingers running through sweat-dampened hair.

They kissed until they fell asleep, naked and tangled together.

Given the position they had fallen asleep in, Blaine wasn't sure how Kurt had managed to slip out without waking him.

He wasn't surprised to wake up alone, though.

Blaine moved onto his side, gazing out at the pink and plum-colored sunrise through the window across the room. He wondered if Kurt had already left for his soul-walk. He wondered what the soul-walk really even was. He had never gotten a proper explanation, but then, he had never asked for one.

He did know that Kurt had told him it was essentially just a formality. A part of the marriage ritual.

The next time he saw Kurt, Kurt would be King.

He would also be married to another man.

Blaine didn't cry. He was still heartbroken and miserable, but he felt strangely calm as well.

Because last night with Kurt had been exactly what he needed.

It had been absolutely incredible.

It had been indescribably beautiful.

And it had also been good-bye.