He was so stressed he’d taken to smoking a few cigarettes everyday now. On an average month, he would only ever smoke a pack and now he was almost done with the pack he’d just bought last week. Even he hated the way the smoke smell clung to his clothes and even the mints he kept in his pockets couldn’t get rid of the horrible breath.

Midway through the week, he snuck out of the house to a gay bar in West Lima. He didn’t really frequent it so much, because it was mostly a hang out for bears and older gay guys, but he was desperate and couldn’t really make a trip to the city in the middle of the week.

Kurt handed his fake ID to the bouncer, a bored looking man who barely looked at the photo. The first thing Kurt did upon entering the mostly empty bar was zone in on the first man who looked him up and down. Tonight, it was a man, maybe in his thirties, who looked like a businessman. Most likely a closet case trying to get away from his wife for the night.

Kurt walked over to him with purpose, sitting on the stool next to him and slipping his hand up the man’s thigh. Within a few minutes, Kurt had a beer in his hand. He drank half of it, enough to get a buzz, and continued to flirt with the businessman. Soon, he was leading him out of the bar and pushing him up against the brick wall to kiss up his neck.

After ten minutes of making out, Kurt realized something was very wrong.

He wasn’t even getting hard.

Usually, it didn’t really matter what the guy looked like (though Kurt only did pick guys that caught his eye in a good way), Kurt could get off no matter what. Guys blended together and well, dick was dick and the hand now ghosting over the skin on his stomach was the same as any other hand.

It was suppose to feel good. This, though, this wasn’t doing anything and Kurt didn’t understand.

The man’s hand went lower, cupping his limp member. “What’s wrong, baby?” the man whispered into his ear.

Kurt swallowed a whimper. He pushed the man away gently, looking into his blown pupils for only a moment. “I can’t do this,” he choked out. He pushed himself away from the wall and began to walk toward his car, mind spinning.

“Cock tease,” the man called out harshly behind him, but Kurt kept walking to his car.

What was wrong with him?

- - - -

The next day, when Blaine told him about coming to the Warbler’s rehearsal, he brushed it off, making no promises. But when he got home and cooked dinner for him and his dad, he had to admit it was a tempting idea.

Kurt sometimes thought about singing. He’d always wanted to join a school choir, but in freshman year they didn’t have anything due to low interest. Then there was home school and well…obviously that wouldn’t be something he could do.

Then Kurt realized that Blaine was in the Warblers. He didn’t even know that Blaine sang - he wondered if he was any good…then Kurt realized that with how much he’d heard about the Warblers since starting Dalton this week, he must be.

That was a big deciding factor for why Kurt approached the Warbler’s choir room the next afternoon.

The boys, all in the Dalton blazers, were singing “Teenage Dream” by Katy Perry, of all things. It was accapela, so there were no instruments.

Blaine was singing lead.

When Kurt entered the room, leaning against the door, they were almost halfway through the song. Blaine looked over at him a few moments after he got there, a wide smile spreading across his face. His eyes didn’t leave Kurt’s face as he sang, which made something in Kurt’s stomach bubble.

The song came to an end and Kurt clapped politely.

“Guys,” began Blaine, motioning for Kurt to come closer. Kurt pushed away from the doorframe and walked into the room a few feet, far from the group of singers. “This is Kurt Hummel. He’s new here and I asked him to come by and see us sing. I’m trying to convince him to audition.” Blaine’s smile was like a child’s - na�ve. Kurt sighed.

The tall blond that had interrupted their conversation yesterday stood next to the shorter brunette he had been holding hands with. He couldn’t take his eyes off Kurt and he felt very uncomfortable.

“I had another song I wanted you to here,” said Blaine, pulling Kurt’s attention from the blonde. “I hope you like it.” Kurt shrugged and took a few steps back. Blaine took that as an invitation to begin. He went over to the Warblers and whispered something to them, then nodded.

A tall boy in back began to beatbox, a low and constant beat, as the other boys around him joined in to start a melody. It was vaguely familiar to Kurt, though he couldn’t quite place the song.

In front of the group, Blaine stood and made steady eye contact with Kurt. He opened his mouth and joined the others, but this time with words.

We watch the season pull up its own stakes
And catch the last weekend of the last week
Before the gold and the glimmer have been replaced,
Another sun soaked season fades away

Kurt had an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach now. He realized that he did know this song, though the last time he’d ever listened to it was two years ago.

You have stolen my heart
You have stolen my heart

Blaine sang, his voice most certainly pleasant, but Kurt felt like he was going to be sick. Images of them slow dancing in a cafeteria hit him all at once, corny decorations all around them. Blaine looking so handsome and the excited feeling in Kurt’s stomach thinking that maybe this would be the night he got his first kiss.

Kurt didn’t realize that he had turned and run from the room until he found himself in the hallway, feet pounding on the ground and Blaine’s voice behind him calling out his name.

Kurt wanted to keep running, but suddenly he had met a dead end, only classroom doors surrounding him. He felt the tears on his cheeks and wiped at them fiercely. “Kurt!” shouted Blaine, coming to a stop behind him. Kurt turned toward him, fury through his veins.

“How dare you!” shouted Kurt. Blaine shrunk back. “How dare you - sing that! Do you - do you think this is some sort of joke, Blaine!” Blaine’s eyes were wide with shock at Kurt’s words. Kurt was satisfied. Maybe this would finally get him to leave him alone. “I don’t want to remember that night! Don’t you think it was traumatic? It was the night I was gay bashed - the last time I saw you.” Kurt reached up and covered his mouth as he heaved a sob. “I just…I can’t.”

“Kurt - I’m sorry, I -”

“What, Blaine, what could possibly have possessed you to sing that?”

“I love that song,” said Blaine quietly. “It…when I think about that night, I try to forget everything else but that one dance; that song. It was one of the best moments of my life. I felt…I felt normal, dancing with you then. That song…to me it just means our friendship is real, Kurt.”

Kurt looked up at Blaine - he looked distressed and his eyes were shining with tears, too.

“Kurt…I’m sorry. I didn’t realize it was different for you. I’m sorry. Please…don’t be mad at me. I just wanted…I want us to be friends again, Kurt.”

Taking his hand away from his mouth slowly, Kurt just stared. He just wouldn’t give up, would he? Kurt closed his eyes tiredly and backed up until he hit the wall behind him. He sank to the ground. He heard Blaine join him after a few silent minutes.

“I’m not going to be good at it,” he said finally. Blaine was silent beside him, but he just expelled confusion. “Friendship. I’m not…you’re one of the only friends I ever had, Blaine, and that was for a month - maybe.” Kurt opened his eyes and looked beside him to see Blaine staring back. “I won’t be good at the friend thing, Blaine. I don’t know why you’re bothering.”

“Because you’re worth it, Kurt. And you sell yourself short…you just have to be who you are, and that is enough for me,” said Blaine in a quiet voice. Kurt let out a bitter laugh. “I’m serious.” Blaine reached out and put a hand on Kurt’s knee and suddenly this touch was more intimate than the random guy (who Kurt couldn’t even recall the name) who had his hand down his pants last week.

“I’m just warning you now, then,” said Kurt in a businesslike way. He was already regretting the emotion he had shown in front of Blaine. He reached up and wiped away all of the tears on his face. He was growing more composed by the minute. Putting up the walls again.

“Wait so…are you…are you not going to ignore me now?” asked Blaine in wonder. “Are we friends again?”

“Trial basis only,” said Kurt after a long pause because, wow, he really was agreeing to be Blaine’s friend again.

“I’ll take it,” said Blaine quickly. He squeezed Kurt’s knee and then removed his hand. Kurt missed it for a moment before pushing that away, too.

“Are…I know it didn’t go that well, but are you still interested in joining the Warblers?” asked Blaine after a few minutes of silence.

“You don’t even know if I can sing, Blaine,” said Kurt dryly.

“I’m sure you’re fantastic,” said Blaine. “And if not, I’ll tell you honestly that you suck. It’s what friends do.”

Kurt laughed once. “Is that so?”

“Yeah, totally.”

Kurt sighed. “Fine…I’ll join the Warblers if you’ll just stop bothering me about it, Anderson.”

“Deal.” Blaine paused and smirked. “You need an audition song, though. The council and the rest of the group will be the judge, if you’re good enough for the group.”

Kurt didn’t show how much that made him nervous. Instead he and Blaine stood, Kurt’s legs shaking. He made Blaine go back to the Warblers and Kurt took off for home, using the long drive home to think of a good audition song.

Kurt didn’t realize how much he wanted this until now.