“Just when I think there can’t be any more bottles...there are more bottles.”

Kurt turned his head and smiled over his shoulder. “I’ve walked you through the routine before.”

“Yeah, but it was while we were on the phone,” Blaine said as he sat down on the corner of Kurt’s bed. “And I just thought… you know…”

“Hmm?” Kurt mused as he retrieved a bottle of toner from the vanity drawer.

“That you were exaggerating.”

Kurt swallowed a snort. “You know me better than that.”

“That’s true.” Blaine leaned forward and tried to count the bottles and potions on the table. The bottles were blue… not the white he’d gotten glimpses of sitting out before. “Did you get new stuff?”

“Oh, no, these aren’t mine,” Kurt replied, gathering up the collected bottles into his arms. “These are yours.”

“No…” Blaine trailed off, but Kurt had walked right past him with the products and out into the hall. “Hey, Kurt, wait up,” he called out. He hopped up from the bed and followed him into the hallway bathroom, where Kurt was arranging the bottles in a neat line along the edge of the sink. “I thought you were going to show me your routine.”

“Well it makes no sense to show you my routine, because it works for me but not for you,” Kurt replied. “Your skin is oilier than mine, more facial hair that you need to get rid of, and anything that I use for my delicate porcelain skin just wouldn’t do anything for you.”

“Did you just basically tell me that you’re prettier than me?” Blaine asked lightly. Kurt simply shrugged in response. “I mean, I’m not disagreeing,” Blaine laughed. “I just want to make sure we’re on the same page with you insulting my face.”

Kurt leaned over and placed a light kiss on Blaine’s lips. “I love your face,” he murmured. “Which is why we’re going to work hard to make sure that it stays that way and doesn’t all of a sudden start acne scarring and wrinkling by the age of 25.”

“You know, I have a pretty good routine already,” Blaine tried.

Kurt rolled his eyes. “A bottle of Clean and Clear and a can of Barbasol do not a routine make.”

“That’s the definition of a routine, Kurt.”

“Not an appropriate one,” Kurt countered. “My plan is to go down the Paul Newman route and look devastatingly gorgeous until I drop dead at the ripe old age of 120, because by the time we get there, surely science will have some way for me to inject stem cells into my face or something. And I will not have some wrinkledy old man on my arm.” He offered Blaine an unlabeled screw top tub. “So, either we get you onto a solid skin care regimen, or I’m going to be forced to abandon you for the as yet unborn but surely coming and inevitably devastatingly attractive youngest son of Jay-Z and Beyoncé.”

“We can’t have that happen,” Blaine agreed. He unscrewed the top and dipped his finger in the gritty gel. “So… exfoliator?”

“Homemade,” Kurt beamed proudly. “I’m going to take you through a very long, full routine. You don’t need to do this all the time, but we’re going to exfoliate first so that you can get a really close shave.” He brushed his finger down Blaine’s cheek. “You’re getting a little sloppy in the summer.”

“Hey, some guys a little scruff,” Blaine chuckled.

“Oh, sweetie, this isn’t scruff -- this is just you being scratchy when I kiss you. My skin already gets regular exfoliation, it doesn’t need help.”

Blaine just continued to smile. “Alright. Well, it’s on the list, so I’m going to let you do whatever you want to me.”

Kurt’s eyes lit up. “I do love it when you say things like that,” he murmured.

“Well… my parents are going to be gone all weekend,” Blaine mused. He tilted his chin up to let Kurt get a better look at his pores, although it seemed like Kurt wasn’t terribly interested in that any more. Kurt’s eyes narrowed and his smile quirked up a bit more. “We could knock number six off the list… and other things.”

“And would you look at that, Mercedes just happened to invite me over for just the same amount of time that your parents are gone,” Kurt chuckled. “Fancy that.”

“Fancy that,” Blaine chuckled. “So… come by tomorrow for dinner aaaaaand number six?” he drawled.

“Watch out, or I won’t be able to concentrate on the matter at hand.”

“Shame.”

Blaine’s hands had found Kurt’s hips, and it took every shred of ‘Carole’s just downstairs’ and ‘if we start we won’t stop’ and ‘there will be plenty of time tomorrow night at Blaine’s house’ and ‘Carole is just downstairs and will probably pop upstairs any minute’ for him to push Blaine’s hands down. Instead, he placed his hands on Blaine’s hips and moved him to sit down on the toilet lid. “Tomorrow,” he promised, leaning down to kiss Blaine, his hands and lips lingering far longer than they should’ve when he was promising ‘tomorrow’. He pulled back and smiled -- Blaine’s eyes were fixed on him. He loved that look. “Tomorrow,” he assured him, shifting his weight from one leg to another to make sure his hips shimmied as he stood back up.

“Tease,” Blaine croaked, before clearing his throat.

“You love it,” Kurt replied. “So… lets talk exfoliator. This is my homemade sugar scrub. Honey, sugar, and that’s pretty much it. It’ll clear out all your pores and make your beard soft for shaving.”

“I don’t have a beard,” Blaine said, as Kurt scooped out some of the scrub with his fingers. “I just didn’t shave this morning because you told me not to. It’s a little prickly, but it’s not a beard. I would look weird with a beard.” He tilted his head back as Kurt started to rub the scrub down his jaw line. “Please don’t ask me to grow a beard.”

“Ever?”

“I would look so weird,” Blaine insisted. Kurt had moved towards his cheeks and up the bridge of his nose. He forced himself to close his eyes as Kurt’s fingers moved across his forehead.

Kurt hummed happily, applying enough pressure to really get down into Blaine’s skin. “I can’t make a sweeping promise,” he said. “Who knows what will be in style next season. The lumberjack look could come back.”

“My favorite plaid shirt is pink,” Blaine chuckled. Kurt’s fingers were moving down his neck now. “I would look like… some… candy-colored lumberjack elf.”

“Yes, and you would be my candy-colored lumberjack elf,” Kurt replied brightly. “Besides, I distinctly remember you saying that the idea of my flannel phase turned you on.”

“Yeah, but that was in private,” Blaine murmured. “Not for sharing with the general public. Or walking outside. I’d never make you go to Target in your puffy vest.”

“I’d finally look like the rest of Lima,” Kurt pointed out. “There, now rinse off your face. And you’re going to use this face wash… it’ll help with the oily skin,” he added, pulling one of the tubes forward.

Blaine got up and dutifully followed directions. First, washing off the sticky, but surprisingly soothing scrub, and then followed up with the facewash. He reached blindly for a towel, thanking Kurt when he handed him one. “But what if I don’t want you look like the rest of Lima?” he asked as he pat his face dry. “The rest of Lima is boring. And you don’t want to look like the rest of Lima either.” He folded up the hand towel and let it rest on the side of the sink as he looked at Kurt once more. “I meant it when I said you were the most interesting kid in Lima. It’s one of the reasons I love you. Don’t ever start dressing drab and Ohio-y.”

“Wasn’t planning on it,” Kurt promised him. “How about we both promise to skip lumberjack chic when it invariably comes back around?”

“Deal,” Blaine agreed. “So… shaving?”

“New razor,” Kurt instructed, as he pulled out the razor and another blue tube. “And shaving cream.”

Blaine took a closer look at the tube this time. “Beard lube?” he chuckled.

Kurt gave him a quick swat on the ass as Blaine laughed again. “You get your mind out of the gutter.”

“You don’t hand me beard lube and expect me not to laugh,” Blaine pointed out. “Besides, I guess I should expect it when a comedian makes it.”

“Jack Black is the brand,” Kurt said as Blaine started massaging the gel on his jawline. “It’s not made by Jack Black the actor. It’s a highly awarded line. Do you really think I’d give you something crafted by one half of Tenacious D?”

“I’ve learned not to ask too many questions,” Blaine replied breezily. “Especially when it comes to Kurt and skincare.”

“You know, for someone who takes such meticulous care of his hair, it surprises me that you don’t do the same for your skin.”

Blaine pulled the razor across his cheek and rinsed the blade. “I was never made fun of for my skin,” he explained between passes. “Well, during the summer when I’d be out at the pool with Mom and have my summer tan, I was told to go back home to Mexico, but that’s different. Kids had all sorts of fun with my curls. I mean, you’ve seen it ungelled. It was a poofy Prom nightmare.”

“My bushy-headed boyfriend,” Kurt sighed. “Well, we’re going to make sure you take as good a care of your skin as your hair, because I’m a big fan of both. Here, pat dry,” he said, offering Blaine the towel again. “And now we moisturize. An oil-free lotion, and it’ll make sure you stay matte all day.”

“Matt? But my name is Blaine,” Blaine replied.

Kurt rolled his eyes. “Just pat on the moisturizer. And then, you’re going to pat on this eye cream right under your eyes with your ring finger. It’s the weakest finger and we don’t want to pull the skin. That makes wrinkles. Here,” he said, placing a small dab of the cream on his own ring finger and patting it onto Blaine’s skin. “I’ll do it for you this first time,” he murmured. “Just gently like that. Nothing pulling. So… can you guess what the last step is?”

“My guess is sunblock,” Blaine said. “Since this is being instructed by my incredibly fair boyfriend.”

“I will not have you risking melanoma and wrinkles just because you’re not white as a sheet of paper,” Kurt said. “Sunblock. One with zinc because I’m just not sure about avobenzone yet. The zinc and titanium dioxide will sit on top of the skin and block everything. And this one,” he said, pulling out a white bottle, “will dry perfectly clear. No white marks, and no melanoma. It’s a win for everyone involved. So we shaaaaake,” he instructed, shaking the bottle for a solid minute before opening the lid. “And then we pour a bit on the back of our hand, and then spread it over the entirety of your face.”

Kurt watched as Blaine spread the sunblock, resting his chin on Blaine’s shoulder once he was finished. “And now… you look gorgeous. But then, you always do.”

Blaine pat his cheek, turning left and right to inspect Kurt’s handiwork. “It feels good. Very smooth. I’m practically glowing.” He dropped his head to rest on top of Kurt’s. “So… does this mean you’re not going to ditch me in ten years for a younger, sexier model?”

“Nah,” Kurt said. “I’ve put too much work into this model to get it just right,” he chuckled. He tilted his head and kissed Blaine’s jaw. “But then, this model was pretty perfect to begin with.”