Kurt goes back and forth about what he'll say to Blaine once he comes home. Doubt creeps back in the longer the distance remains, but Blaine sends him pictures from his travels and silly little tales about his family and the doubt starts to give way. Blaine has made it nothing less than clear how he feels about Kurt, about his intentions. Kurt just has to trust that.

The day Blaine comes back, Kurt waits by the window for hours. He rolls over his drafting table and sets the wheels so he can pretend to be doing something else, but it's all just a waiting game.

Of course, Kurt is off making lunch when he misses hearing a car outside and Blaine's laughter. He does, however, hear familiar footsteps in the hallway and keys jingling in a lock nearby. He's here. Blaine is here. And he's not alone. There are two muffled voices in the hall, one Blaine's and one that Kurt's never heard. He peeks out and recognizes Sam from pictures. They walk into Blaine's apartment and the door closes.

Kurt had been hoping Blaine would come over to see him, just to say hi even if he was jetlagged. He even considered going over to Blaine's if Blaine didn't come over first. It would be a gesture, something so say I'm getting better before explaining all the things that are wrong. All the things Blaine needs to know if they're moving in the direction Kurt assumes.

Without much forethought, his hand is on the door, fingers tapping the metal then pulling the door open. Heart in his throat, he crosses the short distance to Blaine's apartment. It occurs to him while knocking that it may not be Blaine who answers, but it's too late to run or worry.

Blaine doesn't answer. Sam does. He blinks at Kurt, then his eyes go wide and he asks, “Oh my god, dude, are you Kurt?” Sam doesn't seem to care if the answer is yes as he pulls Kurt into a tight hug anyway. Kurt looks up, a little panicked but mostly amused, and there's Blaine.

Blaine tugs Sam back, chuckling as he says, “Down boy.” Then he throws himself around Kurt. He does so with much less exuberance than Sam, but Blaine holds Kurt closer and buries his face in Kurt's neck. “You're here,” Blaine whispers, squeezing tighter.

Blaine invites Kurt in and kicks Sam out. Sam pouts, but he makes a swift exit. Then he and Blaine are alone.

“Would you rather go over to your place?”

Kurt's standing awkwardly by the door, and he would rather be home, but he just really wants to be near Blaine. “Uh, no. That's okay.” He forces himself further inside. Blaine gestures for him to sit down in an armchair just like Kurt imagined he would have. Kurt sits, and Blaine drags over a stool and sits in front of him, taking Kurt's hand and tangling their fingers together.

“I'm so proud of you.”

Kurt sucks in a breath and nods his thanks. His smile is shaky and tears come quietly, but he's proud of himself too. Blaine lifts himself and plants a sweet kiss to Kurt's forehead, then settles back onto his stool and waits for the words Kurt is struggling to say.

It all comes out in a series of stutters. Everything from childhood bullies to his mother's death to the insecurities that have riddled him his entire adult life. Kurt talks about the person he wants to be, about his current lifestyle and his hopes of its impermanence, about the underwhelming journey that led him into hiding.

In college, Puck and Kurt started releasing their work online. As Puck practiced more and took classes, his writing became better. As Kurt immersed himself in the art school experience, his technique and creativity improved as well. By some sort of freak accident, over the years their work got attention and it led to book deals and success and enough money to move to New York.

New York had always been a dream, just something magical and far away from home. When he was riding the high of doing so well, he thought he could hold onto that feeling and take ahold of that dream. Then he got to New York, where he knew nothing and no one. Where it's busy and crowded and terrifying. For a while, it was okay. It was exciting to finally test his independence.

In high school, Burt had a heart attack. The worrying drove Kurt mad as he sat vigil by his comatose father's bedside. He didn't tell anyone what had happened. There was no one to tell. Then he found Quinn on his doorstep one night when he came home to his empty house. She had Beth resting on her hip as she tore into him for disappearing, going on about how nervous she was that something had happened to him. So he told her about his father, watched the anger turn to concern before she held him, one arm around his back, the other clinging to Beth. He knew suddenly in that moment that he wasn't alone like he'd thought. Though it unsettled him to know Quinn was worried, it amazed him to consider he mattered.

When he was planning his move to New York, he hadn't considered how lonely being alone would be. He hadn't realized how much he had come to depend on that support and those friendships. Self-determined worthlessness ate him up inside. One day he didn't feel like leaving, so he stayed home. The next day was more of the same. And the day after that. And the one following. Trauma come quietly and all-consuming. It continued until he was ordering his groceries online and completely cut off from all other contact. His father would call, but Kurt wouldn't answer. Then it was Quinn. Then one day his father and Puck were banging on his door, and he had nothing to say as they eventually helped him pack up his things and head back to Lima.

Frustration, anger, and sadness were fighting vicious battles to control his temperament. He didn't want any of those feelings to win but he didn't have it in him to pull himself out of the hole he'd dug into. He'd felt trapped in his father's house. He wasn't a child anymore. It should have been easy to be away, to prove he was a grownup. But he failed and that destroyed him.

When he could finally drum up the energy, he told his father he wanted to leave. This time he wouldn't go as far, just to Columbus where he could be near Quinn, Puck, and Beth, but also Burt.

At first, that was sort of okay too. Kurt started therapy willingly. He left the house regularly. He worked occasionally. Then the cycle started again, stronger this time for the added frustration of having lived it before. He was moodier and angrier, but he had his family close by and it made life livable and pulled him out of the darkness as much as possible.

Blaine listens carefully, doesn't interrupt as Kurt brings him up to date.

“There's, um… there's not really a reason, you know… I'm just kind of, um… pathetic? I just… um, it was a lot. And I didn't – I don't know. Nothing even happened. I think I made it all up in my head. But… it – I – I'm not sure when – if – I'm not sure if I'll, um, not be like this anymore anytime soon, but, um, this is me. I can't – I'm not really sure why like me, but now's the time to run – Or maybe I should go. I mean, this is your apar –”

Kurt moves to stand and Blaine rises with him. “Don't go. Please.”

“Okay,” Kurt whispers, letting himself be held as he breathing evens out. “Okay.”

“It kills me that you don't think you're strong.”

It takes every effort to unravel themselves from one another, but even as Kurt tiptoes off to his apartment later that night, he knows something has changed. That he and Blaine are tied to one another now. He realizes that he can trust himself and trust Blaine – that he won't be stuck forever.

As the days and weeks pass, Kurt sees fantasies come to life. Buried wishes and forgotten hopes come to light as Blaine brings his energy and charm to inspire Kurt. Blaine is respectful and sweet, coming over in almost all of his spare time, always texting first to make sure it's okay. He's incredibly overdressed when he shows up to dinner one Friday night to meet Burt for the first time, nervous like Kurt has never seen him be. It finally hits Kurt one weekend, when Blaine sit cross-legged on his couch and rehearsing his set for a show downtown while Kurt attaches a cape to a little girl's costume, that this is what he'd been daydreaming about for months. Making art in the company of Blaine making music.

It's more than contentment that sends the shiver along his skin and puts a smile on his face. His life still isn't everything he'd wanted, but suddenly there cracks in his walls are big enough to walk through, and he thinks maybe he'll be ready soon to see what's on the other side.