Dear Journal,

I'm scared. There is a big storm tonight and the thunder is super loud. 

Mommy always made warm milk and she told stories about giants and dwarves and magic mountains. And she would let me sleep with her and daddy. And they would hold me and keep me safe until I wasn't scared anymore. 

But mommy is dead now. Daddy said she is an angel in heaven now, but I don't know if I believe that. If she was an angel in the sky, why doesn't she just stop the thunder? I miss my mommy. 

I can hear daddy snoring real loud, but I don't want to wake him up. Sometimes I hear him cry when he thinks I'm asleep, and he always looks super tired. He probably needs to sleep real good too. I am tired too but I don't want to go back to sleep. What if the thunder hits the house? How will we get out?

Grandma says I have to be a big boy now, but I don't know what that means. I'm already the tallest in my class. How much bigger do I have to be? She also says that big boys don't cry. But mommy said that I shouldn't always listen to grandma. She said grandma is an old generator and that this is a new millennium. 

Daddy cries a lot. And daddy is a very big boy. If daddy can cry, maybe I can too? 

A boy in my class cries a lot too. But he cries because he is a bully. He wanted my pencils but I did not want to give them so he cried and told the teacher I stole them. He always does that. Britt says bullying is mean. I think so too. 

I think the thunder stopped. I'm really tired. I'm gonna try to go to sleep now. I hope the nightmares won't come back again. 

~ Kurt