*****
Kurt

Friday afternoon six weeks later found Kurt at NYU with Sebastian, sitting on his bed with his note book out trying to work on his script. But he found it a little hard with Sebastian distracting him and not in a good way, like right now he was starting to get annoying and Kurt had had enough.

“Damn it Sebastian, would you stop, how am I meant to get this done with you constantly touching me?” He said as he tried to shrug him off, but Sebastian wasn’t having any of that and held on tighter. He started to kiss his neck and along his shoulder before pinning him to the bed and claiming his lips. Kurt put all his strength against his chest to push him off “I said stop, god don’t you listen?”

Sebastian just huffed “You are so not fun anymore, what the hell happened to you? You use to love it when I kissed you, I was hoping to have your hand down my pants at some point today, but you are being such a fucking tease right now. Why did you even come here if you were just going to study the whole time?”

“Oh my god you are such an asshole, I came here because you wanted to hang out. I told you I had to study and you told me to bring it with me so I did. And you know full well I have to get this script finished. If it is good enough my Production class will perform it at the Christmas concert NYADA is putting on in two months”

Sebastian just looked at him with what seemed to be pity in his eyes and shook his head.

“Come on Kurt who are you kidding? Do you really think you stand a chance? I mean you’re cute as hell but you really aren’t that good of a performer. I really don’t get half of what you write, and you seem to think you are going to be this big shot, but you’re not as good as you think you are. You’re just wasting your time and setting yourself up for a fall. You might as well give up now and save yourself the disappointment later.”

Kurt just stared at him for a moment opened mouthed, before he closed it “Oh my god I can’t believe you just said that” he stood up from the bed and began to pack up his things as fast as he could before pulling his bag over his shoulder and heading to the door “I don’t even know why I bother anymore, I’m out of here. I have to get back to wasting my time, as you so delicately put it, and finish this work before it’s due”

Kurt was really hurt by what Sebastian said but he promised himself when they first started dating he would never cry in front of him, no matter how hurtful he was being. And he was that a lot but Kurt put up with it, what other options did he have? It’s not like guys were lined up outside his front door to be with him. Kurt just figured that this was how it was meant to be.

“I’m just trying to be honest with you Kurt, you didn’t seriously think you were going to be some Broadway star did you, I mean Rachel most likely, but you? I don’t think so”

“I did get the role of Tony in West side story you know”

“That’s because that school was full of talent-less hacks, and there was no one else to play the part, and you know its true”

“Fine whatever I will see you later”

“Come on Kurt don’t be like that. I don’t care if…”

Kurt once again left Sebastian feeling like crap and it wasn’t until he was in his car and on his way back to NYADA before he let himself cry.

***

When he had gotten into NYADA Sebastian told him he was better of going to NYU with Finn, but changed his mind and said NYADA would be perfect. Now he is saying this,
Kurt had no idea why he put up with this treatment; he has been putting up with it since he met Sebastian. They hadn’t been together a month before Sebastian had gotten him drunk, Kurt woke up the next morning hung-over, sore and having lost his virginity, he didn’t even remember it.

After that Kurt wanted to wait but Sebastian said it was pointless now, that it wasn’t really a big thing and was just a way to have fun. His dad had be so afraid to give him ‘the talk’ that he didn’t get it until it was to late, maybe Kurt should have gone to him sooner. Or maybe if he had a friend, that wasn’t Sebastian. Someone talk to, someone who understood what it was like.

If only he had known Blaine in high school things may have turned out differently. Damn him and his morals, if he went to spy on Dalton like Puck had suggested in his junior year things may have been very different. ‘Stop it Kurt you can’t think things like that’.

Kurt had had enough of it he just couldn’t deal with it anymore he was sick of feeling like he was worthless, and Kurt Hummel is better then that. Thinking back on it Kurt should have come to this conclusion sooner. Before he knew it Kurt had pulled into his car park, he shut off the engine and headed to his dorm, deep in thought working through his options.

And right now he needed someone to talk to. He needed Blaine.

About a week after the night at the bar Jeff came to him to ask how he would feel if they switched roomies, Kurt had told him that as long as he got to stay where he was, he didn’t care if he had to share a room with Blaine or Freddie Kruger. Jeff had only laughed and said it would be easier for Nick and Blaine to move as he and Kurt had a lot more things then the other two combined. So Kurt agreed and an hour later Blaine was his new roommate. Over the last five weeks the two of them had been getting closer and right now he really needed to talk to him, but when he got to their room, Blaine was no where in sight and Kurt felt himself break down again.

*****

Blaine

Blaine wasn’t sure what he expected to find when he entered his dorm room around six o’clock Friday night, he had been in the music room longer then he had intended to be, he figured Kurt would be at his desk writing in his notebook or entertaining Rachel with one of his many ideas for his musical, eyes bright and full of excitement or even passed out on his bed after a long day.

He had not expected to walk in to find him in tears sitting cross legged on his bed tearing pages out of said notebook, with pages all over the room.

“Kurt what are you…” Blaine bent down to pick up some of the pages, he didn’t need to read them to know what it was. He raced over to Kurt to gently take the book from him “Kurt, stop… Kurt you need to stop, you are going to regret this when you calm down”

Kurt let Blaine take the book from him, and then watched as he went and picked up the rest of the pages from around the room. He could hear Kurt weeping quietly as he moved around the room, but Blaine felt Kurt needed a moment to compose himself a little before Blaine would force him to talk, otherwise Kurt might shut down completely, and Blaine wouldn’t find out what had caused him to breakdown like this.

“I don’t know why you bothered to stop me, its crap anyway. I’m not even going to hand it in” Kurt said through a sob. Blaine stopped what he was doing and looked at Kurt opened mouthed, before he closed it and walked over to Kurt’s bed and sat next to him.

“What are you talking about, this…” he said holding up the book “Is really very good Kurt and you have put so much work into it, it would be a shame to have it go to waste.”

“No…” Kurt said as he took it from him “It sucks I don’t know what I was thinking, I mean a musical about a gay guy who would watch that”

“Um gay guys… I would, Rachel would and I am sure Jeff and Nick would be first in line for tickets, they love you, then there is you brother, that Puck guy seems to care about you too so I’m sure he wouldn’t miss it. Your parents will, I plan on playing Alan so my parents will be there…” Kurt raised an eyebrow “Or a can play Mike either one is fine with me”

Kurt smiled “No Mike is too flamboyant for you, Alan would be best” his smile fell from his face to be replaced by a frown “but it doesn’t matter anyway because it is terribly written, and it doesn’t make sense. I have no idea how to finish it, and also I’m thinking of quitting, I can’t do this Blaine” Blaine felt like he had been punched in the stomach

“What the hell would make you think that?” Kurt looked at him and he seemed confused

“What are you talking about?”

“What makes you think this sucks…” he said pointing to the notebook; Kurt looked at it then Blaine he was starting to tear up again “Tell me Kurt please what makes you think you can’t do this? Why is it terribly written? Why do you think it doesn’t make sense? And why do you feel like you can’t finish it? You told me yesterday you had the perfect ending and that you just need to work on the wording.”

Kurt took a deep breath to calm himself, it was obvious to Blaine that he was struggling to find the right words, but Blaine waited never taking his eyes off Kurt’s, he knew he would talk soon enough. That’s when he heard Kurt sigh.

“I’m just not any good, I thought I was, but apparently I’m just ‘wasting my time’” he said using air quotations “And I am just setting myself up for a fall” Blaine’s heart broke at that, he just reached across to wipe away the tears that had started to run down his face, Kurt hung his head and quietly sobbed.

“Kurt…” Blaine said gently, he got nothing “Kurt look at me,” when Kurt still refused to meet his eye, he put his fingers under Kurt’s chin and gently lifted his head so he could see Kurt’s eyes, Blaine smiled and moved his hand across his face. Kurt leaned into the touch “Now I don’t know who has been telling you such lies, but you are a beautiful person Kurt. You are smart, kind and the most compassionate person I have ever met. You have an amazing voice, when you sing people listen, they can’t help but listen. You leave them wanting more.”
He watch as a small smile crept its way onto Kurt’s face. “That’s more like it, now as for your script… what made you go all Peter Davies, on your notebook?”

Kurt raised an eyebrow “Who?”

“You know that kid from Finding Neverland, the one with Johnny Depp.”

“Oh right yeah, he kid from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”

“That’s the one”

Kurt sighed “It’s nothing really, it was just something the asshole I call my boyfriend said”

“What did he say Kurt?” Kurt looked away “Please Kurt you can tell me”

“He just said that I wasn’t a very good performer. He pretty much said I was a crap writer also, and I was wasting my time being here”

“He what... Kurt don’t listen to him you hear me? Don’t because this school seems to think you are good enough to be here. How many people do you think applied to go to this school?” Kurt shrugged

“I don’t know a few I guess?”

“Close to five to six hundred people apply every year and they only take twenty new students. You were picked from all those applicants. You deserve to be here Kurt, you are incredibly talented, don’t let him fool you into thinking your not”

Kurt threw his arms around Blaine and pulled him into a hug, which Blaine was, only to happy to return “Thank you Blaine, thank you so much”

“I was only being truthful but you are very welcome, now come on I will buy you dinner” he said rubbing soothingly up and down Kurt’s back. Kurt pulled away with a smile

“Ok”

Blaine smile in spite of himself “Awe there’s that Hummel smile I’ve grown to know and love, now lets get out of here” He said tossing Kurt his coat.

*****

Sebastian

“Sebastian stop, you’re going to wear a hole in the carpet” Sebastian had been like this ever since Kurt had left, something was up he just knew it. Kurt was hiding something from him, but what? And then there was Blaine, he had been acting just as strange. They didn’t know he could tell but he could. Maybe they found out, they do go to the same school after all. They can’t find out, they belong to him and he want let them get away.

“Do you think they know something?” He asked glancing at Darnel who was lying back on his bed with his arms behind his head; he had been watching Sebastian from the moment he walked in the room.

“Who? Your boyfriends? How would they know, they don’t even know each other” Sebastian’s roommate keep his secret mostly because he had one of his own, Sebastian would keep his mouth shut if Darnel kept his shut. It was how they were.

“I don’t know, I guess your right, but seriously this whole not putting out thing they seem to both been doing is getting me frustrated”

“Uh yes but that’s what you have me for” Sebastian stopped and turned to see Darnel smirking at him “What? You don’t think you are the only one getting something out of this relationship do you?” Sebastian smiled and took the three long strides over to the bed and leaned in to crash his lips into Darnel’s, who returned the kiss with just as much force, he pulled away just long enough to take off Sebastian’s shirt before pulling him back in to continue what he had started.

It wasn’t the first time they did this and Sebastian was sure it wouldn’t be the last, if Kurt and Blaine weren’t going to give it up they couldn’t blame him for getting it else where.

*****

Kurt

“Hey Blaine?” Kurt and Blaine had return from dinner and were now watching ‘The sound of music’ on Kurt’s laptop.

“Yeah?” Blaine asked without taking his eyes of the screen

“We’re friends right?” He asked, Blaine continued to watch the movie

“I like to think so” Kurt sighed and Blaine finally looked at him “Kurt what is this about? Of course we are friends, why do you ask?”

Kurt watched him for a moment and looked back to the screen before stopping the movie.

“Wow this must be serious if you are stopping ‘The sound of music’” Blaine joked

“It kind of is, I need you opinion”

“Ok! What can I do to help?”

“I’m thinking about breaking up with my boyfriend” Blaine looked at him with wide eyes and Kurt was afraid they might pop out of his head, but nothing could have prepared Kurt for what Blaine said next.

“Me too” Kurt’s mouth feel open and Blaine just shrugged “It’s not that big of a deal I have been thinking about it for a while now I just haven’t got around to actually doing it yet you know”

“Wow yeah I do, I just don’t know what I should do. I can’t be with him any more Blaine, not when I’m…” he paused

“Not when you’re what?” Blaine asked

“Nothing it doesn’t matter, I just feel like I’m trapped. You know I have never told him I love him, I have been with him a year and I’ve never said it” Kurt said

“Do you love him?”

“No, I don’t think I ever did, does that make me a bad person?”

“Well if it makes you one then it makes me one, do you know what I said the first time my boyfriend told me?”

“What?”

“Awesome” he laughed at that “I said awesome, I still haven’t told him I love him, because I don’t, I like him I guess, well I did but it’s not enough anymore you know”

“Yeah I do, I said thank you” Kurt said

“Sorry?”

“When my boyfriend told me, I said thank you” Blaine laughed “Stop laughing” Kurt said with a smile, But Blaine laughed harder “It is not that funny”

“Sorry but you said ‘thank you’ of all the things you could have said, you said thank you?”

“I panicked ok; I wasn’t expecting it, not to mention I almost choked on my non-fat mocha” Blaine had stopped laughing by now and was just looking at Kurt like he wanted to ask something “What?”

“Kurt, can I ask you why you decided to break up with your boyfriend” Kurt gave him a sad smile and nodded “Why did you…”

“There isn’t really an easy answer to that Blaine, there are many, but I just felt like I can’t stay with someone when I have these feelings…”

“Feelings?”

“He doesn’t treat me right Blaine, he never did, but I thought it was ok you know. But then I came here and meet you, Nick and Jeff and I see how they are together, and I never had that. And it made me wonder why, then it hit me, I’m not happy with him, the only time I am truly happy is when I’m with…” Kurt stopped and looked down at his hands; he hadn’t realized he had been staring at Blaine the whole time.

“Kurt? Are you ok?”

“I’m fine” he said looking up and smiling and getting a smile in return “So what about you? What made you decide it was time?”

“Well if truth be told I think it started the day I started here” Blaine said

“Wait the day you started… what? I don’t get it” Blaine watched him for a minute before he started…

*****

Blaine

“That’s right, the very day to be exact, I was walking through the courtyard minding my own business when some guy ran into me, he started to apologize, for a moment I was stunned, I had never seen anyone quite like him before…”

“How many people did you run into that day?”

“Just the one and he is sitting right in front of me”

“Wait I don’t understand” Blaine reached out to run his fingers along his cheek

“You had me doubting everything I thought I knew, in those few minutes you had me doubting me.”

“But I didn’t doing anything”

“I know” Blaine said “I just wanted you to know that a big part of why I decided to end things was because, I found myself having feelings for you. It’s funny you know, once I realized that, it wasn’t so hard to make the choice. Once I realized that I’m happiest when I’m spending time with you, even if it is just sitting in the same room studying, it wasn’t really that hard a decision to make and I’m going to do it tomorrow”

Blaine looked at Kurt who seemed to be crying but he was smiling “Do you mean that” he asked

“Every word”

Kurt put his hands over his chest “Me too”

“You too what?” Blaine asked confused

“I’m only truly happy when I’m with you; you are one of the reasons that I’m ending it with S…” Before Blaine knew what he was doing he had his lips on Kurt’s, slow and gentle, it wasn’t long before the kiss became more desperate, and the longing they both felt evident as their lips continued to move until…

“We need to stop” Kurt breathed Blaine pulled away

“You’re right, sorry I don’t know what came over me”

“It’s ok, the same thing happened to me, but we can’t do this at least not yet. I don’t cheat Blaine, I will end it with my Boyfriend and if you do the same we can talk about it then”

“Oh I will definitely be single tomorrow”