Kurt was woken up by the sound of his phone buzzing. He groaned and looked at the time, it was 4:14am. Who the hell would be calling this early in the morning? Kurt sighed and glanced at the phone, he didn’t recognize the number but he picked it up just in case it was important.

“Hello?” he mumbled sleepily into the phone.

“I remembered something,” the voice told him flatly. Blaine. It was Blaine’s voice on the other end.

“What?” Kurt asked, he was too tired to think straight.

“I know I probably woke you and I’m really sorry but I had a dream and I’m pretty sure it was a memory and it was about us, Kurt, and I really need to talk to you about it,” Blaine rambled.

Kurt was a little more alert now and he sat up in his bed, leaning his head against his headboard. “Blaine, this better be a really important memory because you did not wake me up at four in the morning to tell me you remembered us hugging or something.”

“No,” Blaine laughed a little, but then his voice shifted into something a little sadder. “That’s not what I remembered. I...it’s kind of fuzzy. We were in some sort of bar, I don’t remember the name. I was singing Teenage Dream to you and I was upset about something. I can’t remember what. And then it kind of jumped to me looking at you crying and you walking away from me. Was that real?”

Kurt sighed. He did not want to talk about this with Blaine, it would just make them both upset over something that they both had put in the past a long time ago. “It was the first time we ever broke up.”

“The first?” Blaine asked, surprised. “We broke up more than once?”

“I…” Kurt didn’t know what to say. He hated reliving all of this. He especially hated the fact that the first thing that Blaine remembered was them breaking up. “Twice. We broke up twice. The first time you...well, and the second, I already told you how that went down.”

“Kurt,” Blaine sounded like he was trying to remain calm, “you just completely deflected telling me how we first broke up.”

“I shouldn’t tell you,” Kurt decided. “You should try to remember it yourself.”

“I can’t,” his calm facade was slowly breaking away, “I can’t remember anything, Kurt. I know everyone wants me to try to remember most things on my own but that could take months, years even. They could not come back at all. Please, just tell me this one thing. I need to know.”

“How’d you even get my number?” Kurt asked. He knew Blaine didn’t have his phone and even if he did, he wouldn’t have had Kurt’s number in his phone.

“Tina left it on a post-it note next to the phone,” Blaine told him. That explains what Tina whispered into his ear.

“Of course it was Tina,” Kurt groaned. He loved that girl but she was too much sometimes and that’s saying a lot. He’s lived with Rachel Berry for seven years.

Blaine was quiet for a second. “You know, if you don’t want to talk to me that badly you could just hang up.”

“Is that what you want me to do?”

“No,” Blaine responded immediately. “I mean- I barely get to talk to you anymore.”

“Blaine, you haven’t talked to me in three years,” Kurt reminded him gently.

“My brain hasn’t really caught up to that yet,” Blaine gave him a half-hearted laugh, “from what I can understand, I saw you a few weeks ago. That was when I told you to go to New York. Then, you started working at Vogue and-”

“I remember,” Kurt assured him. That was the start of their inevitable break up. “I didn’t have time to talk to you. Where your head's at right now, it’s not too long before we first broke up.”

“Will you please tell me what happened?” Kurt could tell by the sound of Blaine’s voice how serious he was about this.

Kurt sighed again. “Fine, but you can’t freak out. This happened seven years ago. I forgave you a long time ago for what happened then.”

“Forgave me?” Blaine’s suddenly voice went up an octave. “What did I do?”

“You cheated on me,” Kurt blurted out. He didn’t mean for it to come out that way, but it did.

“No,” Blaine’s voice shook. “I would never do something like that.”

“Well, you did,” Kurt said, failing at hiding the bitterness in his tone. “It was with some random guy who friended you on Facebook.”

“No wonder you hate me,” Blaine said it so quietly that Kurt barely heard it.

“Blaine,” Kurt’s voice cracked on the name. “I could never-”

“Don’t say that just because you feel bad for me,” Blaine interrupted me. “I’m not stupid. You...you don’t love me anymore.” Blaine had barely choked out that last sentence, and Kurt could hear sniffling from the other end of the call. “I shouldn’t have called you, I’m sorry.”

“Blaine-”

“No, Kurt. You don’t have to explain yourself. You don’t have to say anything. I understand. I just- I really love you. You know that, right?” Blaine was quiet while he waited for Kurt to respond, but Kurt had nothing to say. “I’m sorry. I-I shouldn’t have said that. You probably don’t even care anymore. I’m just gonna- I’m gonna hang up now. I hope you’ll still come visit me because maybe future me can live without you but I can’t. Even if you’ll just be my friend. I’m rambling, sorry. I said I would hang up- I, just… bye, Kurt. Goodnight.”

Blaine hung up the phone before Kurt could give him a response. What the hell just happened? Kurt looked at the ring he was wearing, the sense of hope that it gave him the night before slowly drifted away. The wall he had built was fixing itself after it went crumbling the night before. He took the ring off and threw it across the room.

Rachel was right. Blaine thought Kurt hated him. Didn’t he, though? Kurt shook the thought out of his mind. He might have hated what had happened between them, he might have hated that he ruined the one good thing that ever happened to him, but he didn’t hate Blaine. He could never, ever in a million years hate him. Whether he liked it or not, Blaine would always have a residence in his heart.

That’s why he needed this wall. He couldn’t let Blaine in again, not when he’s vulnerable. They would both just be taking advantage of the situation, then Blaine would eventually get his memories back and realize that and then he would hate Kurt more than he probably already does. Kurt’s the one who broke up with Blaine, after all.

Then, once Blaine got his memories back and told Kurt to get out of his life, Kurt wouldn’t only be heartbroken, he’d be devastated. He never wanted to go through that kind of pain again and he wasn’t going to allow himself to, especially with everything going on in his life right now. He had his broadway callback in less than a week and he needs that to be his main focus right now.

He needed to sleep. He needed to get his brain out of this endless loop of thoughts and just stop thinking. But it’s never that easy.

After he had gotten off the phone with Kurt, Blaine broke down. He hadn’t cried since he got to the hospital, he was trying to be strong in front of his friends, in front of Kurt. But all of this was too much. Not only had he got in a car accident because he was drunk driving, he had lost seven years worth of memories and had lost Kurt along with it.

That hurt the most. Kurt, the person he loved more than anyone in the entire world, hadn’t spoken to him in three years. Not even a simple hello. They had been broken up for five, which Blaine still couldn’t wrap his head around.

Five years without hugging his best friend, without kissing him. That was the first thing he wanted to do when he saw Kurt walk into his room, he just wanted to hug him and kiss him and he didn’t care that there was so many people in the room. He just looked so beautiful, he barely aged and even though he did look a little older, it just made him look even more gorgeous.

But he knew it was worse than he thought when Kurt had froze up when he saw him. He looked like he could barely look at him, let alone want to kiss him. Now that Blaine somewhat knew what went down between them, he couldn’t blame him.

How could he do that? How could he cheat on Kurt? Sure, he was feeling kind of crappy about being away from him and he really missed him but he was going to see him in less than a month. Maybe Kurt could have put a little more effort in talking to him and listening to him, but it didn’t give him the right to cheat on him. Nothing excuses cheating.

He just...he wanted to talk to someone who wouldn’t judge him. Who would listen. He picked up the phone and dialled.

“Hello?” the voice sounded barely audible and groggy, Blaine then remembered it was 4:30 in the morning and everyone is sleeping at this time.

“Mom?” Blaine asked, not entirely sure if he had dialled the right number.

“Blaine,” she answered softly. “I’m sorry I haven’t called you, your friends told me about what happened. I couldn’t get a flight until tomorrow.”

“That’s okay,” Blaine sniffed and rubbed at his eyes.

“Honey, what’s wrong?” His mom’s voice piped up a little bit, worry growing in her tone.

“Kurt and I broke up,” his chest heaved, a sob escaping his body. It hurt so much more to say it out loud. “I mean, you knew that, but I-”

“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry,” Pam whispered into the phone. “I know how much you love him.”

“Do I..do I still?” It was the question he was dying to know, the one thing he cared about it. He had no doubt that he still did, considering how he felt when he saw Kurt, how it felt to hug him. He just had to know for sure and if anyone would know that, it was his mom.

“Of course you still do, B. Did they tell you about David?”

“Karofsky?” He wasn’t sure why his mom would mention him and truthfully, he didn’t want to hear about him. “I know that I dated him after Kurt and I broke up but not much else.”

“Well, Kurt was a big reason as to why you two broke up,” Pam informed him.

“Really?”

“He found you looking through pictures of you and Kurt, and it wasn’t the first time he caught you either,” Pam sounded happier than she did a minute ago, like she was pleased that he caused Dave to break up with him. Pam always loved Kurt. She was always way more accepting of him than his dad was, but he took what he could get. His dad will always be uncomfortable with him being gay, but at least he made an effort to be polite. “Dave said something like he couldn’t believe he was with someone for three years who was clearly still in love with someone else. Then, he asked you if you still loved Kurt and you said yes. That was the end of your relationship with Dave. You haven’t dated anyone since.”

“Wow,” was the only word Blaine could seem to muster up. It felt like he was being told a story, like this happened to someone else. He couldn’t remember any of this, so how was it supposed to feel like it happened to him?

“Do you want to come home, Blaine?” Pam asked suddenly. “I know this must be hard for you. I barely get to see you anymore, kiddo. It might be nice for the both of us, especially since you’ll be in familiar surroundings.”

“I would love to come home,” Blaine told her truthfully, “but I can’t. My doctor told me that if I’m going to get my memories back, I have to put myself in the situation I was before my car accident. My friends are going to help me get back on my feet. I’d love it if you helped too. And you know...I guess, Ohio isn’t my home anymore. I live in New York now.” Blaine smiled a little. Out of all the things that terrified him about losing his memories, finding out he lived in New York was one of the good things. This was his dream. He always wanted to live here. He just wished he was living his dream with Kurt.

“Okay, whatever you want,” his mom said sadly. “I’m going to go back to bed. I have to be at the airport by 11 tomorrow. I’ll see you soon. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Blaine said into the phone before hanging it up.

He felt a lot better after talking to his mom. He just hoped that she would help him get through this because he doesn’t think he can get through it on his own.