Chapter 10

Kurt slaps a hand over his mouth as soon as the word is out. Mike just smirks at him.

"I knew there was a guy involved," Mike says smugly, ignoring the stunned look on Kurt's face.

Kurt removes his hand to try to object and tell Mike he's wrong, but instead he just swallows heavily and nods. His throat feels dry and his voice is hoarse when he finally speaks.

"I'm gonna go," he says. "I'll see you in a few weeks. I'm taking some time off for uh…family and stuff."

"More tips for me," Mike says turning back to the mirror. "See ya, Kurt. Say hi to Sebastian for me."

Kurt can hear Mike's laughter all the way down the long hallway and he nearly breaks into a run as he reaches the door that leads to the outside. He steps out into the cool night air and takes several deep breaths trying to calm his nerves, his body bent over at the waist, his bag falling off his shoulder to the ground.

For a moment, Kurt feels like he might throw up, so he leans up against the hard exterior of the building for a moment and tries desperately to sort out his thoughts.

Why did I say Sebastian of all people? Why didn't I just deny the whole thing? You couldn't have just said it was drugs? Idiot!

After a moment, he begins to realize that the parking lot isn't entirely empty and he's making an ass of himself. So Kurt picks up his bag and makes his way to his car on shaky legs. The thing is, why would it even matter that he said Sebastian's name? It's not like Mike would ever meet him anyway, and it was infinitely better than telling the truth.

The truth. That's a funny thought. What is the truth?

I think I might be in love with the guy I gave a lap dance to a few weeks ago. We went on a date and he's really cute and I want to make out with his face.

Yeah, at least he didn't say all that.

Blaine can't sleep because his mind is swirling with a thick soup of random thoughts about Kurt. He keeps replaying their day together and thinking of ways to get Kurt to warm up to him more the next time. Ways to get Kurt alone. Ways to get Kurt to kiss him, to touch him, to want him. And tomorrow he's going to the movies…with Kurt.

Blaine imagines threading his hand through Kurt's when they both accidentally reach for the popcorn at the same time. He sees Kurt smiling back at him in the darkened theater and leaning in for a soft kiss. Blaine can almost feel the surge of electricity when their lips meet, parted slightly, just on the threshold between lust and affection.

He wonders what their kisses would be like if they were dating. What would their movie dates be like then? Would they cuddle in the back of the theater and grope each other wildly or would they sit in the middle somewhere hoping to discourage themselves from making out the whole time?

Would Kurt care if people saw them kiss? Would he throw his arms around Blaine with abandon and claim him as his own? Or would he be shy and withdrawn because it's Lima and everyone is so closed-minded? Would he retreat if Blaine tried to hold his hand, or curl into his side at every opportunity?

Blaine's stomach flutters at every possible version of Kurt he can imagine and maybe that's why his thoughts become less and less PG. First he pictures grabbing Kurt by his hair and kissing him senseless. And then blowing softly in Kurt's ear while the previews run.

Next, he moves on to nuzzling Kurt's neck when the dialogue gets boring. Running his hand up Kurt's thigh when the movie gets steamy. Whispering dirty things in his ear when the surround sound shakes the walls. Trying to muffle Kurt's moans with his hand as Blaine gropes him through his impossibly tight jeans.

Blaine doesn't know when he starts rubbing himself through the thin cotton of his boxers, but suddenly the room is very warm and he's thinking of Kurt's hands, mouth … anything on him, around him, inside of him. And it's too much. His skin is tingling and burning hot, and he wishes the hand gripping his cock tightly belonged to Kurt. He imagines slim fingers wrapped around his length and feels the firm strokes that become more and more frantic as he reaches his peak.

Blaine grips the sheets tightly with his free hand, biting back moans as he nears his climax. He wants to shout Kurt's name, but he's acutely aware of how well noise travels across the hardwood floors of the Anderson home. So he bites his lip as he makes one final thrust into his own hand before collapsing on the bed, shuddering through his orgasm.

He lays there for a moment, listening to his rapid breath as it begins to calm and smiles to himself a little. He's never fantasized so vividly about a guy he had feelings for before and he feels a little ridiculous about it, but it's also so good to have the release.

He reaches over the side of his bed to grab some tissues just as his phone buzzes on the bedside table. He nearly jumps out of his skin and hurries to clean himself up when he sees he has a new text. Without his glasses, he can't quite make out the small type, so he squints when he picks up the phone.

Kurt
Hope I'm not waking you. I just wanted to let you know I'm looking forward to tomorrow. I usually sleep in on Sundays, but I'll call you around 11. Good night.

Blaine is still slightly loopy from his orgasm, but he swears he can sense Kurt needs someone to talk to.

Blaine
I'm still up. In fact, I was just thinking about you. Everything alright?

There's a moment after he hits send where Blaine feels weird about telling Kurt he was thinking of him, considering what he'd just done, but then he remembers that Kurt can't see the ridiculous sated grin that is plastered on his face.

Kurt
Yeah, just a weird night at work.

The mention of Shades immediately places a picture of a nearly naked Kurt in Blaine's mind, and if he hadn't just gotten off, he knows he'd be rock hard in a matter of seconds. Blaine forces his mind out of the gutter momentarily to text Kurt back.

Blaine
You want to talk about it?

Kurt
Not particularly. I just needed to hear a friendly voice…well, you know what I mean.

Blaine
I can call you if you want. I have a very friendly voice.

Kurt
No, I'm fine. I just need to get some sleep.

Blaine
Are you sure?

Kurt
Yeah, I'm sure. Goodnight, Blaine.

Blaine
Goodnight. x

Kurt flops down on his bed and just stares at the screen on his phone for a moment. Another text kiss. He twirls the phone in his fingers and rests it on his bottom lip contemplating his next move.

Friend or lover? He can't decide. But he knows he's terrified of anyone in his inner circle finding out about his secret life as an exotic dancer. It's bad enough that Rachel knows, but if Finn or his dad were to find out, he'd absolutely die. It's a miracle he's kept it hidden this long, and he doesn't want to push his luck.

Still, Blaine did promise to keep his secret. And Kurt trusts him. He actually trusts Blaine, and without any real reason. It's rare for him to trust so willingly and so quickly. How long had it taken him to warm up to Rachel? He's not about to discount his instincts here when his gut is telling him Blaine is the real deal. But there's another issue at play: New York.

Kurt is planning on leaving for NYADA in the fall and he doesn't need a relationship tying him to Lima. He sees what Rachel is going through with Finn, and he doesn't want that kind of pain, not even if it means finally having a boyfriend. Not even if it means knowing what it's like to be loved and have someone love him in return. Someone who he doesn't share DNA with. A male someone who is gay, and gorgeous and charming and … Blaine.

On the other hand, if they stay friends, Kurt will have someone in his life who might actually understand what he's going through. Someone who will definitely be his friend, even when he goes to New York. A friend won't demand he not date other guys or not stay in the city for Christmas. And he won't cry over leaving a friend behind. Or at least that's what Kurt tells himself.

And when it comes right down to it, Kurt doesn't have any other gay friends his own age. Sure there are a few guys at the club who have offered to lend an ear or a shoulder to cry on, like Vince (and Mike when he's not being a total ass), but most of the others have lives and only a few are gay, and all of them are older than Kurt.

So he's never bothered to get too close, mostly because his dad would have too many questions. How did you meet? What is it you do, exactly? Why would a 24-year-old man want to hang out with my 18-year-old son? Kurt, are you being inappropriate? He doesn't think he can take the never-ending questions and concern.

So instead of hanging with the guys, he has girls' nights with Rachel and Mercedes and settles for surreptitious glances at his straight friends who are dating — and kissing — just wondering what it would be like to have someone in his life who gets it, really gets it.

Could Blaine be that friend? Would Kurt be OK with nothing more than friendship? Or would he spend every night imagining Blaine's face tilted up toward his, expecting a kiss? Would he constantly wish he had kissed him? Would he always feel the way he's feeling right now? Like he can't go another day without talking to Blaine, or touching him, or curling up inside him and never letting go. But it doesn't matter because he's made up his mind.

Of course we can be just friends.

Kurt Hummel is nothing if not stubborn.

Nothing can prepare Kurt for what their movie date is actually like, though. And that's kind of the problem.

Blaine chooses the movie: a romantic comedy with a bad plot and even worse acting. Kurt thinks it's a great choice because he loves nothing more than making snide comments about actors, wardrobe, and dialogue in bad movies. He thinks it's the best possible choice for so many reasons. But it's certainly not because Blaine picked it. Nope. And it's most likely not because Blaine keeps looking at Kurt and smiling. Not at all. And it's probably not because Blaine laughs quietly, eyes crinkling up at the corners, every time Kurt whispers a snarky remark in his ear. And it's definitely not because their arms kept brushing against each other on the arm rest between them before Blaine gives up and leaves his arm touching Kurt's. Nope. It's just that Kurt likes cheesy movies.

When the credits roll, Blaine moves his arm from where it's still touching Kurt's sleeve. Kurt instantly misses the touch, but he definitely doesn't miss the flash of stomach he gets when Blaine stands up and stretches.

God, you could wash clothes on that!

"Well, that was a bust," Blaine says smiling down at Kurt. "I'm sorry it was so bad."

"No it was fun," Kurt says standing up and smoothing down his shirt just to give his hands something to do. "I secretly love making fun of bad movies. My friend Mercedes and I went to see the last Twilight movie and nearly peed our pants laughing at that wolf scene. And that weird CGI baby at the end. I mean, come on!"

Blaine's eyes light up with laughter at Kurt's animated description.

"I guess I should see it then," he says. "For the comedic value."

"Oh definitely. It's completely ridiculous. But what do you expect from a movie where the biggest plot point is based on a demon baby who needs to be ripped from the womb by her father's teeth? It was doomed from the moment the book was published."

"Good point."

Their conversation flows freely, first about the movie they can't believe they just paid $10 for, then to the soundtrack, which might be worth the download, to the rapidly darkening skies over the movie theater.

"You want to grab coffee?" Blaine asks tentatively. "I'm not in a hurry to get home or anything."

"Well, I have some homework I really need to get started on. I probably should get going," Kurt says, looking over Blaine's shoulder at the nearly empty parking lot. That's the great thing about Sunday matinees, there's never much of a crowd. Kurt's suddenly hyper aware that Blaine is staring at him, the look of disappointment unmistakable on his face.

"Please," he says almost pouting. "Just a few minutes. It's still early."

The clouds over them shift and a patch of sun hits their faces, and suddenly Blaine's eyes are glimmering and honey-colored, and Kurt is so close to swooning on the spot, he thinks he might forget his own name. He's certainly forgotten any thought of the mountain of homework he has sitting at home.

"Well, maybe for a few minutes," he says, just as thunder booms overhead and the sky opens up. Fat rain drops fall all around them, splattering the pavement and leaving heavy, wet drops on Kurt's cashmere sweater.

Blaine tilts his head up and lets the raindrops hit him in the face until he hears Kurt gasp.

"My sweater! It's going to be ruined."

Without thinking, Blaine grabs Kurt's hand and pulls him along, running for his car. "I'll give you a lift, and then I'll drop you off back here later," he calls over his shoulder.

Kurt simply tries to keep up, desperate to get out of the rain and into the car. He practically dives into the passenger seat, panting slightly and brushing off his pants, shivering slightly from being wet and cold. Blaine turns the car on and cranks up the heat, rubbing his hands together to get them warm.

He turns to Kurt just in time to see him wriggling out of his sweater, revealing a slightly damp, now partially see-through, white shirt clinging to Kurt's bicep and taunting Blaine with its sharp outline. He stares open-mouthed for a moment before Kurt's voice brings him back to reality.

"I can't believe I got this sweater wet. It's probably never going to be the same." Kurt is so focused on the sweater in his hands he doesn't notice Blaine's attention. When he looks up, the look on Blaine's face says it all, and Kurt wants nothing more than to lean forward and kiss him until neither of them can breathe. Realizing Blaine is checking him out, Kurt shifts self-consciously in his seat, adjusting his shirt so it's not quite as transparent.

Why did I take my sweater off?

"Lima Bean?" Blaine croaks out, finally managing to take his eyes off Kurt's body.

"Sure."

Kurt can't quite figure out why he's so embarrassed by Blaine staring. He knows Blaine has seen him nearly naked, and he's been on stage in his underwear at least three nights a week for the past four months. But somehow this is different, more intimate, and Kurt doesn't like feeling that exposed.

Thank god Blaine is good at making small talk.

"So, what homework do you have left?"

"French vocabulary, a take-home quiz from statistics, and a history essay. All due Monday."

"Ouch."

"You said it," Kurt sighs. "The French will go quickly. I'm pretty much fluent. The quiz shouldn't be too bad, even though I hate math. But that essay…ugh, I haven't even started and I really don't want to read another word about Charlemagne. I'll be so glad when this year is over."

Well, I can't help much with French or statistics, but I wrote a paper on Charlemagne last year. Maybe I could help you out a bit?" he says.

Kurt's eyes widen and he squeals with delight at the offer. "Really? Because that would be amazing!"

"Sure," Blaine says, beaming. "Why don't we grab our coffee to go and we can go to your place to work on it."

Kurt's face falls. His dad is home and there will be questions. He can't say he knows Blaine from school because Finn will be there. And he can't tell his dad how they really met.

"No," he says abruptly.

"No?" Blaine asks looking hurt.

"My car's parked here, silly. Why don't I go home and get what I need and meet you at the Lima Bean. It will be easier to focus without my dad and stepbrother watching TV and shouting at barbarians throwing balls around."

"Sounds like a plan," Blaine replies.

He drives Kurt to his car and pulls up as close as he can so Kurt can jump from one car to the other without getting soaked. As Kurt pulls away, Blaine notices he's left his sweater on the seat and he picks it up, stroking the soft wool with his fingertips before bringing it to his face and inhaling deeply. The scent of sandalwood and vanilla lingers on the fabric and mixes with the smell of the afternoon spring rain. It gives Blaine a warm, protected feeling as he takes in Kurt's scent for a second time and then a third. He can't think of a better smell anywhere in the world, and he'll forever associate this smell with this moment and Kurt. He takes another deep breath against the fabric and commits it to memory; he never wants this feeling to go away.

Kurt doesn't realize he's left his sweater in Blaine's car until long after he walks through the front door of his house. His mind is somewhere else and he barely registers his dad's voice when he shouts out, "How was the movie?"

"Uh, fine," Kurt says. "I just came home to get some books and head out to study with Mercedes."

"OK, buddy. Just make sure you get some actual studying done in between the gossiping."

"Sure, dad." Kurt rolls his eyes playfully and turns for the stairs.

"Hey, weren't you wearing a sweater earlier?"

Kurt freezes on the spot.

Shit.

"Um, yeah…I uh, left it in the car so it wouldn't get wet. It's raining, you know."

"Oh," Burt says, looking at Kurt like he always does when he talks about his clothes. "What's the point of a sweater you can't wear when it's cold and raining?"

"Fashion, Dad. It's fashion. Just go with it."

"I know, Kurt. I know." Burt laughs and shoos his son out of the room and Kurt doesn't give him a second glance, racing upstairs to grab his history notes and his laptop.

"I'll be back before dinner," he shouts before bounding out the door to meet up with Blaine.