Chapter 2

Glee practice for the rest of the week is even more disastrous than the first day. When Miss Holiday fills in on Wednesday, she convinces the girls to do a number in sexy lingerie, which earns a brag of "I tapped that fine ass" from Puck about Quinn, and starts a fight between him and Finn, who thinks he's defending his ex-girlfriend's honor.

Rachel storms off in a cloud of tears and dramatic exasperation (as per usual) and Kurt has to look away when Tina and Mike start making out passionately beside him. He rests his head in his hands and tries to figure out what he did to deserve all of this.

"Has anyone seen Santana or Brittany?" Sam asks.

"Not since we went to change for our number," Mercedes replies, trying to contain her cleavage a bit more by pulling up on the corset she's wearing. Sam is obviously trying not to ogle her and failing miserably.

"Maybe they're getting a little 'somthin, somthin' in the ladies," Artie offers.

Puck breaks from his shoving match with Finn to interject, "Whoa, like full-on lesbo?"

"Oh my god," Kurt says. "You are all impossible. Is that all anyone ever thinks about around here is sex?"

The rest of the group just stares at him, a few of them with guppy-like expressions, so he stands up and grabs his bag from next to his chair. "I'm going to go check on Rachel," he says and heads off down the hall toward the girls' bathroom, hoping Brittany and Santana have found a more private location for their afternoon tryst than the last time.

As he rounds the corner at the end of the hall, he sees Mr. Anderson tacking something up to the bulletin board outside of his classroom. Seeing Mr. Anderson in profile, Kurt notices for the first time how well-fitted this gorgeous teacher wears his pants, and he really and truly appreciates it. In fact, he continues to appreciate it until Mr. Anderson turns his head and smiles at him.

"What's a nice teacher like you doing in a place like this?" Kurt says as he approaches.

He winces a little at breathy quality of his voice and wonders briefly why he can't keep himself from flirting with his English teacher.

"Kurt," Mr. Anderson replies looking a little flustered, like maybe he's just realized Kurt is flirting. Great…very smooth, Hummel. "What are you doing here so late?"

"Glee rehearsal," Kurt replies. "I, uh… was looking for my friend Rachel. Did you see a crazy, crying girl come this way? Probably stomping off dramatically?"

Mr. Anderson's eyebrows come up, crinkling his forehead, as a smirk plays across his face.

"Please tell me the fishnets and stilettos were a costume." His smile goes wide and his eyes sparkle with relief when Kurt nods. He's suppressing a giggle, but he can't fight the sly smile.

"Miss Holiday's idea of appropriate is a bit different than mine," Kurt says. "Or anyone with sanity really."

"I can see that," Mr. Anderson replies, taking in Kurt's exquisitely layered outfit from head to toe.

Kurt feels like he's under a microscope, which feels far less uncomfortable than it probably should. He watches as Mr. Anderson's eyes rake over him, pausing briefly where his neck meets his collar before finally again landing on Kurt's face and holding his student's gaze. Kurt wonders if maybe Mr. Anderson is judging him, and the thought that this gorgeous man might not approve of his fashion choices hurts just a little bit.

"Yes, well," Kurt says with a well-practiced lift of his chin. "Every moment of your life is an opportunity for fashion."

Mr. Anderson holds up his hands in surrender. "Please don't misunderstand me," he says. "It was a compliment."

"Oh," Kurt says, suddenly fully aware of his own heartbeat as he realizes he had been wrong. "Thank you."

Both teacher and student hold eye contact for a moment, letting the tension hang between them in the quiet hallway. When the sound of a heavy door closing somewhere in the distance echoes around them, Mr. Anderson begins to shift nervously. It forces Kurt to look away and fiddle with the strap of his bag. Mr. Anderson turns back to the bulletin board and clears his throat.

"So I take it glee club hasn't been going very well, then," he says without looking at Kurt.

"That might be the perfect definition of an understatement," Kurt says, eyes also cast downward. "So far our prospects have either run away screaming or turned the girls into glorified strippers."

"I'm sorry, Kurt."

Kurt shrugs and looks up at Mr. Anderson's sincere tone to see a pained expression. If Kurt didn't know better he'd swear Mr. Anderson was regretting turning him down.

"Coach Bieste is filling in tomorrow and Señor Martinez on Friday. We'll manage."

"Kurt, I…"

But he doesn't get to finish that thought, because Rachel comes barreling around the corner and almost runs right into Mr. Anderson, knocking some papers out of his hand.

"Oh gosh! Sorry!" she says, wiping at her still puffy eyes and smiling at the teacher.

"No harm done," Mr. Anderson says, smiling genuinely. "See?" He steps back and holds out his arms, gesturing toward himself. "Same old dorky English teacher."

Kurt laughs behind his hand, earning a glare from Rachel as Mr. Anderson bends to pick up his lost papers.

"Kurt, my clothes are in your locker," Rachel says, pleading with her eyes. "I need to change before I can go home."

"Oh yeah, right," Kurt says, regretting having to pull his eyes away from Mr. Anderson's backside, which is so conveniently displayed right in front of him.

"See you later, Kurt," Mr. Anderson calls as Rachel drags a reluctant Kurt down the hallway.

"First period!" Kurt calls back. Again with the verbal diarrhea…As if Mr. Anderson doesn't know when his own class is.

When they're mostly out of ear shot, Rachel says, "Someone's a smitten kitten." Her smile is so wide, Kurt things it might break her face. It's a sharp contrast to her red, swollen eyes.

"Shut up, Rachel."

She gives him a good-natured jab in the ribs and threads her arm through his at the elbow, skipping alongside him cheerfully, her black stilettos tapping loudly in the hallway.

Blaine stares after the two seniors until they're around the corner and out of sight. He sighs and slumps heavily against the wall, the cement feels cool and soothing through his clothing. His skin has felt on fire since he saw Kurt appear at the end of the hallway.

That really needs to stop.

On Thursday Coach Bieste rules glee practice with an iron fist — well, she has a whistle at any rate. Finn has to do 20 pushups for messing up some choreography, and Puck gets told to take a lap when he swears and makes dirty jokes under his breath while Rachel sings to Finn about their most recent argument.

Kurt refuses to "take a knee" while Coach is giving them a pre-practice pep talk. No way he's ruining his brand new Alexander McQueen pants (fearlessly won from an online auction, thank you very much). And Coach Bieste tells him to hit the showers. So he leaves early, and from what Mercedes tells him, he misses another dramatic Rachel Berry storm off. So, he didn't really miss anything.

Every morning that week Kurt had made a show of lamenting his glee club woes to Mr. Anderson and he practices his best sad, pouty faces. Friday morning he even brings Mr. Anderson coffee. But Mr. Anderson stands firm.

"Kurt, I really would love to help you guys out, but it's just too much right now. I'm sorry," he says for what feels like the millionth time.

"Can't fault a guy for trying," Kurt replies.

This has become their dance. Kurt asks, Blaine says no. Kurt says something mildly flirtatious that he'll beat himself up over for the next 24 hours.

Kurt doesn't quite remember glee on Friday because Señor Martinez had been wearing some really tight jeans, and it was all a bit of a blur. Except for the part where Santana got in a screaming match with Sam and yelled profanities in Spanish for 20 minutes. By the time the day is over, Kurt is exhausted and he hopes the hint he dropped to Figgins about Mr. Anderson gets them a permanent teacher.

Blaine gets called in to Figgins' office during his free period on Friday.

"Have a seat," the principal says. "Peppermint?" he asks, holding out a candy dish.

"No thank you," Blaine replies, perching stiffly in one of the chairs in front of Figgins' desk. "Did you call me in here for a reason, sir?"

Blaine's nerves are on edge. Even though he's a full-grown man and Figgins is his boss, he can't help but feel like a child sitting across from the principal, about to hear how something is going on his "permanent record." His palms are sweating and he's tapping his foot nervously.

"How's your first week going, Blaine? Finding your way around McKinley?"

"Yes, sir. Just fine." He lifts an eyebrow, still unsure of what he's been called in for.

"No run-ins with our Cheerios or that cantankerous ball of fury known as Sue Sylvester?"

"Can't say that I've had the pleasure," Blaine replies. He's still completely puzzled as to where Figgins is going with all of this.

"Good…good. You might still be under the radar," Figgins says, looking thoughtful.

Blaine still has no idea what he's talking about. He's heard about Coach Sylvester and her insane methods, but he has yet to meet the woman, and he's fine with that lasting for as long as possible if the rumors are even partially true. He's got enough to worry about without being accosted by a grown woman who thinks track suits are acceptable work attire.

Figgins doesn't wait for Blaine to say anything, he just keeps talking.

"So Kurt Hummel tells me you have show choir experience, Blaine," Figgins says, smiling mischievously.

"Well, I was in my high school's a capella group," he says finally understanding where this is going. "I would hardly call that 'experience' in the professional sense of the word."

"Well, why didn't you tell me?" Figgins says. "This is wonderful!"

"Um, I…"

"I know you have a lot on your plate right now, but we really need a new faculty sponsor for the New Directions."

"Principal Figgins," Blaine begins. "I'm not sure that's a good idea. I'm new — not just to McKinley, but as a teacher. Don't you think you want someone with a little more…perspective?" And possibly someone who isn't lusting after the group's unfairly gorgeous gay teen hearthrob?

"Poppycock," Figgins says waving off Blaine's concerns. "You can manage. It's just a little singing and dancing." Figgins' smile and Kurt's previous accounts of New Directions' practices would indicate otherwise. But still, Blaine really, really wants to be involved in show choir again. He wants the job, even if it's not the best idea for him and his crush on Kurt.

Oh, god, is it a crush?

So instead of declining politely and excusing himself, he says, "I'll think about it," and heads back to his classroom.

What is wrong with you, Anderson?

Sitting in the Lima Bean Saturday morning Blaine has resolutely decided to decline Figgins' offer to coach glee club. He's up to his proverbial elbows in essays for his AP English classes and he hasn't even started on lesson plans for his drama classes yet. It's really for the best if he just sticks to the classroom and lets the glee club find another sponsor.

Unfortunately for Blaine, Kurt Hummel's caffeine addiction has other ideas.

Blaine is just about to get up to order another cup of coffee when he sees Kurt, bundled in more layers than are absolutely necessary for early September, walk through the door of the coffee shop with a petite Asian girl he's seen around McKinley. Blaine admires her style, a throwback to the '60s Mod look that flatters her immensely. Plus, he's always been a fan of bright colors. He glances down at his Kelly green plaid shirt and wonders how Kurt feels about his fashion choices.

He realizes it's not the first time he's wanted to talk fashion with his student. Kurt looks like he stepped out of a magazine most days, and not just because of the clothing. Apparently his weekend apparel is no exception. He's wearing a sweater that looks to be part cape or shawl, and it clings to his broad shoulders and narrow waist in all the right places. Before Blaine can stop himself from staring, Kurt looks directly at him and smiles.

Shit.

Blaine smiles back and tries to hold himself together by shuffling some of the papers strewn across the table as the two high schoolers walk over to his table. He looks up to find Kurt giving him a bright smile, blue-green eyes shining with delight.

"Mr. Anderson," Kurt says. "We really need to quit running into each other like this. People will talk."

"Hi Kurt," Blaine replies, trying to ignore the fluttery feeling in his stomach when Kurt flirts with him. Does he know he's flirting? "I was uh…just grading some papers. Who's your friend here?"

"Oh, right," Kurt says. "This is Tina. We're in glee club together. Just getting a caffeine fix before we head over to her house to work on some choreography. Her boyfriend, Mike, is going to teach us our new routine."

"Hi, Mr. Anderson," Tina says politely.

"Nice to meet you," he replies.

"Kurt and Mike speak very highly of you," Tina says smiling. "Kurt especially."

Blaine tries to laugh it off, but he's pretty sure Kurt is glaring at Tina and blushing furiously while he tries to drag her toward the counter.

"Why don't you two have a seat," Blaine says gesturing toward the empty chairs. "Let me buy your coffee. I was just about to get a refill."

"Oh no, you don't have to do that," Tina says, grabbing Blaine's empty cup. "I'll do it." She turns to Kurt. "I'll get our usual order, Kurt. Why don't you see if you can use your powers of persuasion to get Mr. Anderson to coach glee."

Before either Kurt or Blaine can argue, she's turned on the spot and making her way to the line at the counter.

"Well, she's about as subtle as a nuclear bomb," Kurt muses.

Blaine can't help but laugh at that. She obviously thinks she's doing them a favor. Although, to what end, Blaine can't decide.

"You know Principal Figgins called me into his office yesterday…" Blaine says finally unable to bear the tense silence between them.

"Yeah?" Kurt says in an approximation of nonchalance.

"Yeah," Blaine says, twirling his red pen around between his fingers, just to have something to do. "You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you Kurt?"

Looking the picture of innocence and mischief all at once, Kurt replies, "I haven't the slightest." And then he smiles. It's a crooked sort of grin, with no teeth, but his eyes light up like Christmas, and Blaine can't look away. He clears his throat.

"Right…well, he told me a little bird told him I had show choir experience." He pauses and looks pointedly at Kurt. "A little bird by the name of Kurt Hummel."

"It's a fairly common name," Kurt says trying to look serious … and failing.

"Mmhmm. Well, he asked me to sponsor glee club, which I found incredibly interesting because there's a Kurt Hummel in my first period class who's been asking me the same thing for nearly a week now." He grins at Kurt and is shocked to see panic in his eyes.

"Mr. Anderson, I know you said you don't want to do it, but we really need the help and you'd be so much better than our other options." Kurt sounds frantic now and worry has clouded his expression. "I just thought if Figgins asked you maybe you'd say yes. I'm so sorry. Really."

"It's okay, Kurt."

"Really?" The hopeful look on Kurt's face is truly adorable.

"Yeah. I told him I'd think about it."

"And…?" Kurt asks warily. "What did you decide?"

"Kurt, I…"

Blaine knows what he has decided. He knows it deep in his soul that he doesn't have the time to give it the attention it deserves, and his attraction to Kurt is really becoming problematic. He can't coach New Directions. He just can't. He's going to tell Figgins no. Absolutely not. Thank you, but no thanks.

And then Kurt smiles.

"Sure."

"What?" And now Kurt is positively beaming.

"I'll do it," Blaine says returning the smile full force. "It would be an honor."

"Oh my god! You're serious!" Kurt bounces up and down in his seat and claps like a delighted toddler. Blaine sees Tina approaching from their right and hears Kurt shout, "Tina! Tina! Mr. Anderson is going to coach glee club. Isn't that wonderful?"

"Oh my god, really?" She nearly spills the coffee she is holding when she starts jumping up and down. She turns to Blaine. "You have no idea how much we appreciate this. Oh wow, this is going to be so great."

Blaine hasn't said another word. Right now he's just focusing on smiling and not throwing up. He tries to listen while Tina and Kurt chatter excitedly about telling the rest of New Directions and how they won't have to run laps or sanitize the piano before rehearsal anymore. If Blaine could focus on anything besides his accelerating pulse and sweaty palms at that moment, he might have found their discussion a bit odd. As it is, though, he's trying to determine just when exactly it was that he lost his sanity. Because clearly, he's 110% nuts and has lost all sense of reason.