March 31, 2013, 1:42 p.m.
Under white skies and soft blankets: Chapter 8
E - Words: 3,384 - Last Updated: Mar 31, 2013 Story: Complete - Chapters: 12/12 - Created: Jan 19, 2012 - Updated: Mar 31, 2013 372 0 4 0 0
They met two years before when Blaine started working at the shop- Wes remembers all too well the mugs Blaine broke and the coffees he spilled on that first day.
It had been easy to become closer to Blaine, he was the friend Wes hadn’t managed to have while he was back in high school, because he used to spend most of his time surrounded by books.
That’s why he can’t help tossing and turning in his bed, wondering how things turned out for Blaine with the mysterious guy he is seeing. He would be lying if he denied that he felt a bit left out when Blaine hadn’t told him who the man was, but in the end he can’t bring himself to blame him if he wants to be more careful after what happened with Kurt.
He throws an arm over his eyes, a deep sigh escaping his lungs. He hopes he’ll never have to see Blaine so broken again, even though it means having to carry the weight of those memories for him. Sometimes he wonders how Rachel and Quinn manage to do it for Kurt.
He remembers the day Blaine and Kurt met as though it was yesterday.
It was a Saturday evening at the beginning of June and Wes had dragged Blaine with him to a party in Montauk organized by David, one of his university colleagues. Wes had always been quite reserved, since he was a boy, and that hadn’t changed over time. He wasn’t particularly close to any of his classmates, except maybe for David. Being around Blaine was so much easier.
That evening they were sitting on the stairs that led to the porch of a house on the beach, sipping beer and commenting on the other people at the party. They were laughing at the ridiculous dress a girl was wearing when David came up to them and tugged at Blaine excitedly.
“They’ve got a guitar! You should totally play something for us!”
Wes had laughed at David’s enthusiasm and at Blaine’s embarrassment.
“Oh, look at you, Blainers! Go and give us a show!”
Blaine had grinned at him and nodded.
Wes was sipping what was left of his beer and feeling as though he was back in time as he listened to Blaine playing “Teenage Dream”, when a soft gasp resounded behind him. He turned slowly, wondering what had happened, and his gaze fell on a guy standing right on the step above the one he was sitting on. The first thing that struck him were the man’s eyes; they were of some clear colour he could not pinpoint, gleaming faintly in the fading evening light, focused on Blaine as he played.
Probably the guy had realized that Wes was looking at him because he lowered his gaze.
He was wearing a confused expression on his face. Wes smiled politely at him and said he could sit down if he wanted. The guy nodded and sat down; they remained silent as Blaine’s voice kept twirling around them along with the sound of the waves licking at the shore. Then the guy cleared his throat and Wes turned to face him.
“Thanks for letting me sit here. I’m Kurt.”
Wes took the hand Kurt was offering.
“I’m Wes.”
“You’re friends with…”
Kurt tilted his head towards the shore- Wes noticed the faint shade of pink on his cheeks and wondered if he was blushing.
“Oh you mean Blaine? The one who’s singing right now?”
Kurt nodded, a strand of light brown hair falling in front of his face.
“Yes, I know him. I’m the one who dragged him here.”
The song had almost reached its end and Wes turned to look at Blaine and found that he was already looking in Kurt’s direction. Wes smiled to himself.
“He’s pretty good, right?”
Kurt finally turned towards him, his eyes downcast.
“He…he has a very beautiful voice, yeah.”
Blaine smiled as he ended the song and people started clapping and whooping. Wes tilted his head to the side; everytime he saw Blaine’s eyes gleaming and a huge grin on his face, he knew that he was born to perform.
The creaking of the wood snapped him out of his thoughts and he turned just in time to see that Kurt was getting up.
Wes knew that it probably wasn’t his business, but he had seen the way the guy was looking at his friend and he knew that Blaine had been on his own for a while now, after that nasty breakup with Sebastian.
He got up and politely touched Kurt’s forearm to get his attention.
“Hey, wait a second so you can congratulate him in person!”
Kurt blinked.
“Well…I…”
“Congratulate who in person?”
Wes spun on the spot and came face to face with a very flushed Blaine.
“Oh, Kurt here thinks you have a really nice voice.”
He saw Kurt blushing from the corner of his eye, and in that moment he knew that, even though he had never been a social animal, his mother was right when she told him that he was good at reading people. He could feel it, the waves of attraction twirling between Blaine and Kurt as they looked at each other.
“Thank you.”
Blaine’s voice was almost a whisper, softer than Wes had ever heard it.
“Well, I’ll go and find David. Nice to meet you Kurt.”
He started walking towards the shore before either of them could say something.
For the rest of the evening he hung out with some of his university colleagues as Blaine talked to Kurt on the wooden stairs leading to the porch. Half an hour later, though, while Thad was telling some absurd joke he turned to check on his friend but neither him nor Kurt where in sight anymore. He lowered his head trying to hide his smile.
It was only an hour later that Blaine walked up to him, an unreadable expression on his face.
“Would…can we go home, please?”
Wes simply nodded, knowing that Blaine would talk to him when he felt ready. They spent the train ride back to New York in silence, Blaine staring out of the window and Wes wondering if he had mistaken everything.
They were walking back to his apartment when Blaine finally spoke.
“I asked him to stay with me tonight. He simply left. I feel so stupid!”
“Well, you sure didn’t lose time!”
“It’s…I looked at him and I felt…Jesus, he was stunning and clever and funny and...”
Wes shook his head.
“I get it, Blaine. I saw how you were looking at him and I also saw how he was looking at you!”
Blaine stopped in his tracks and Wes did the same.
“But…he told me was seeing someone.”
“That I didn’t know, but, well, he wouldn’t have run off with you if he didn’t want to right?”
Blaine looked at him, his eyes wide and hopeful like that one of a child and Wes had to try not to chuckle at the sight.
“You think so?”
“Of course I do!”
“Well, it doesn’t matter, though. He left and I don’t even have his number.”
Wes fished out his mobile phone and scrolled down his incoming texts; when he found what he was looking for, he turned it towards Blaine, whose eyes grew wide as moons at the sight of Kurt’s number.
“How…”
“I texted David while we were on the train.”
“But…how did you…”
Wes took in Blaine’s amazed expression and couldn’t help laughing.
“Never underestimate old Wesley!”
A couple of days after a very excited Blaine bounced into the coffee shop; Wes waited for him to get changed and snuck up to him while he was pottering with the coffee machine.
“I guess you heard from him, then?”
Blaine’s lips stretched into the biggest smile Wes had ever seen.
“I texted him and asked him if maybe he wanted to grab a coffee or a drink together. I felt like such a stalker having his number and all!”
Wes huffed out a laugh; he could perfectly imagine Blaine sitting in his room, mobile phone in hand, debating with himself if he should contact Kurt or not.
“And?”
“Well, he said yes! Do you think it’s possible for someone to sound beautiful even over text, Wes? Because that’s exactly how Kurt is!!”
“Oh my, Blainers! You sure are already smitten!”
Smile still in place, Blaine didn’t deny it and even though maybe it didn’t make much sense Wes felt a bit proud because he had been the one to introduce Kurt to Blaine.
A week later a slightly flushed Kurt entered the coffee shop and a grinning Blaine reached over the counter to press a soft kiss to his cheek. Wes beamed at the two of them, thinking that he had never seen Blaine so happy.
The first time he went out with the two of them was for a karaoke night down in Brooklyn, nearby Kurt’s apartment. Quinn and Rachel were there too; even though Rachel rambled nonstop about her promising theatre career, she was incredibly talented and Wes liked listening to her sing. Quinn was somehow calmer and Wes found she had a weak point for literature so he spent most of the night talking with her, nursing a beer in his hands.
When Kurt’s turn to sing came, Blaine scooted closer to Wes.
“It’s the first time that I’ll hear him sing.”
His voice was breathy as though he had been waiting for this moment since Kurt had told him that he used to be part of glee club back in high school- he had been beaming when he told Wes that. Looking at Kurt as he adjusted the microphone and cleared his throat, Wes was certain that he was going to be amazing. He patted Blaine’s shoulder reassuringly and waited for the song to start.
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
Kurt’s voice was like untamed water. Wes was sure he had never heard such a peculiar voice before. He liked music, but he usually wasn’t moved by it as Blaine was; it simply didn’t manage to reach that secret place inside of him where he stored his dreams and his regrets. Written words could, but not notes. Listening to Kurt, though, was a completely different experience.
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
Blaine had told him about the bullying Kurt had had to endure in school and Wes wondered how many times during his life Kurt had felt like this, waiting for his wings to work, waiting for a chance to break free. He wondered how many times Blaine had felt the same, wanting to escape his father’s expectations.
When the song ended and Kurt bowed, Wes ventured a glance in Blaine’s direction; his eyes were wide and his lips slightly parted. He gently bumped their shoulders together. Blaine blinked and took in a stuttering breath.
His voice was barely a whisper when he spoke.
“That was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard.”
Wes smiled and squeezed Blaine’s shoulder.
“Indeed.”
Being with Kurt gave Blaine a new kind of brightness; it was in the way he walked, talked and smiled.
Blaine had always been a lively person, energy pulsing deep inside of him and an insatiable eagerness to see and feel the world, but the small things he did with Kurt, like waking up early on Sunday morning to have breakfast in front of Tiffany’s or singing Michael Jackson at the top of his lungs slightly tipsy with an arm slung around Kurt’s waist as they walked back home at 4am, made him glow.
They were so good together that at first Wes couldn’t believe it was happening when their relationship started to crack at the edges. It was a combination of factors that left all of them feeling helpless.
Kurt got into an independent fashion firm and let his dream of being a performer slip through his fingers. Wes watched Blaine try not to be too affected by Kurt’s choice, but he knew it was hard. Blaine loved music, but above all he loved the fact that he shared the same dream with Kurt; Wes could see how painful it was for him to see Kurt walk away from their shared hope.
When Blaine’s ex came back, that was the last drop, because it shattered Kurt’s faith in Blaine and the shards cut deeper into Blaine than anything else.
Wes didn’t know much about Sebastian, because he had broken up with Blaine before he started working at the coffee shop. He had always been there, though, a subtle regret behind Blaine’s memories and words. From what he had been able to guess he was almost sure that Sebastian had cheated on Blaine. Even though it unnerved him that someone had wounded his friend like that, he didn’t ask, he simply accepted Blaine with his smile and his scars.
One night they all went to a pub downtown because Blaine had gotten a gig there. Things were already strained between the two of them, but looking at Kurt while he listened to his boyfriend sing Wes could see the affection in his eyes, the same longing he had seen that first day on the beach in Montauk. As Blaine’s voice twirled around them, he let himself hope that they could overcome their divergences and understand that what they had was too important to let it go.
Then Sebastian entered the pub and a shiver ran down Wes’ spine; his instinct telling him that there was no way this could end well. Indeed, Sebastian was all over Blaine the moment he got off stage and Wes could perfectly feel the tension radiating from Kurt as he stood stiffly by his side, his eyes not leaving Blaine and the hand Sebastian had pressed to Blaine’s lower back.
Sebastian was back in town to stay and he seemed set on getting Blaine back. Wes hated to see him at the coffee shop almost every day, he hated how confused his presence left Blaine and how hurt the expression in Kurt’s eyes was every time that he saw them together. Once, in one of the rare moments when Kurt managed to open up to him, he told Wes he didn’t understand why Blaine had to allow Sebastian to come close to him, to go back in his life.
Wes wished he had answer.
It wasn’t long before Kurt started confronting Blaine about the fact that he kept seeing or hearing from Sebastian. As Wes had imagined, to think that Kurt didn’t trust him enough started to take a toll on Blaine’s emotions.
It was a string of nights spent on the phone with Blaine, letting him vent because otherwise he would explode.
“I don’t get it, Wes, why doesn’t he trust me anymore?”
“You more than anyone else should know how badly Kurt has been hurt in the past, Blaine.”
“I would never hurt him, never.”
“I know. But maybe he doesn’t.”
It was a string of mornings at the coffee shop spent waiting for texts from Kurt that never came. Wes had seen through Kurt’s shield right from the start, he had seen how easily Kurt could shut people out when he was scared of losing them; it wasn’t any different with Blaine.
For almost a month Kurt and Blaine tried to patch their relationship, they tried to hold onto each other, but they didn’t know how. They kept failing, scarring each other’s heart in the process. Wes wished he could do something, because he could see how neither Blaine nor Kurt didn’t want to let go.
When it happened it was messy and it left Blaine hollow and hurting. He knocked at Wes’ door in the middle of the night, eyes red and puffy.
“This time it’s over for real. I lost him, Wes.”
Wes let Blaine stay at his house for a while, because, even though it hurt to seem his like that, empty and heart-broken, at least that way he could keep an eye on him.
Quinn called him once, asking him how Blaine was and telling him that she hadn’t seen Kurt so broken since high school. Wes’ heart plummeted towards the bottom of his ribcage. In that moment he knew that something needed to be done. Both Blaine and Kurt had received enough wounds, but this was turning out to be the most painful of all and he couldn’t allow Blaine to surrender to it as he knew he had done during high school. For Heaven’s sake, the wounds he had received back then still kept reopening!
On a rainy morning in December he found Blaine sitting at the kitchen table, staring blankly at a leaflet. Quietly, Wes leaned over Blaine’s shoulder to take a look.
Serenity Clinic.
We erase the pain and bring you a new life.
Blaine turned towards him, his eyes hard and determined.
“I…I can’t go on like this, Wes.”
Wes swallowed around the lump in his throat and nodded.
The doctor over at the clinic told Blaine to collect everything that reminded him of Kurt and Wes was the one who helped him. He was the one who rubbed soothing circles over Blaine’s back as he sobbed when everything became too much. They spent hours surrounded by the proofs of what Blaine and Kurt had felt for each other, what Wes was sure they still felt- good morning notes Kurt had left for Blaine when he had to get up early to go to work, bus tickets, photographs, dry flowers, random sheets of paper where Blaine had scribbled songs thinking about Kurt.
When evening came there was only one thing that hadn’t disappeared inside the black bags- a thin red bracelet Blaine kept around his left wrist. Wes knew that Kurt had one too, because they had brought them together at a small stand at the Annex Flea Market on 6th Avenue. Wes remembered the grin on Blaine’s face when he had tied one around Kurt’s wrist. He knew he wasn’t meant to have heard what he had whispered afterwards, but he had caught on anyway, “This is to help you find your way back to me when you spread your wings, blackbird.” Kurt had kissed him there in the middle of the street.
Blaine stretched his left arm towards him, his gaze focused on the floor.
“Cut it, please.”
“Blaine, are you sure?”
Blaine’s eyes were glistening with tears when he lifted his gaze.
“I don’t have a choice. I have to.”
When his alarm clock rings Wes wakes up with a start. He quickly grabs his mobile phone from the nightstand but there aren’t any missed calls or texts from Blaine. As he gets ready to get to class he prays to whoever is up there that things are alright.
When he gets to work after lunch time Blaine is already there, whistling as he hands out cappuccinos and espressos.
“Someone had a nice night!”
Blaine beams at him, eyes big and excited like a child.
“It was perfect! I talked to him and then…”
Wes grins.
“Well, I didn’t ask you for the details, you know?”
Blaine laughs and Wes feels grateful that this mysterious guy has entered his best friend’s life. He has always thought that what Blaine felt for Kurt was too much for him to get attached to someone else so soon, even with his memories erased, but this guy seems to have found a way to reach Blaine’s heart and hopefully he’ll be able to fix it.
“So, where did you two meet?”
“I met him in Montauk, something like three weeks ago.”
A small shiver slips down Wes’ spine- he has learned long ago that coincidences are simply another way for fate to work.
“In Montauk, huh?”
“Yeah! I sat next to him on the train going back to New York.”
He knows that probably asking more questions isn’t a good idea, but he can’t help it.
“And why were you in Montauk?”
“I just felt like it, I guess.”
Wes has wondered many times if the erasure process could manage to be as precise as those at the clinic claimed. In the end memories are part of what defines a person; they get stuck so deep inside that he is positively sure it isn’t possible for them to disappear completely.
He swallows, knowing that there’s only one more question that he needs to ask.
“And what is his name?”
Time seems to stretch as Blaine hands a customer his cup and turns towards him.
“Kurt.”
Wes opens and closes his mouth, unable to speak.
Comments
Everything is explained! Yay :D I was thinking that they somehow lost their memories of each other, I just didn't know how or why. Really great chapter!
I'm really glad that you liked this chapter! Thank you very much, dear! :)
I've been waiting for an explanation of their behaviour, and here it is, only it's from Wes and it's about Blaine. What can I say? You always zig when I think you're about to zag (!!!). Thank you for this chapter, it's been very well written and since everything is described by someone who cares about Blaine so much, you can sense it more thanks to this changing of POV. Ciaoooo :)
lol I'm flattered that you quoted Blaine! :D I'm really happy that you liked this chapter, especially because I was quite uncertain about it considering that it was my first time writing Wes' POV! Grazie mille! Ciaooo! :)