June 17, 2015, 7 p.m.
Hidden: This I Promise You
E - Words: 3,009 - Last Updated: Jun 17, 2015 Story: Complete - Chapters: 46/? - Created: Oct 24, 2014 - Updated: Oct 24, 2014 179 0 0 0 0
There were few places that Hunter loved being more than Dillons room, which was on the second floor of the cozy home, tucked away at the end of the hallway, right next to his sisters room. With three children, Dillons parents had to attempt to fairly divide up the space in whatever house they could afford, so Dillons room had been divided from his younger sisters with a thin wall. Because Beth stayed for the majority of the time with her mom, she was lent a small guest room for whatever short days that she came to live with her dad and stepdad. This separation made Dillons room very small, half of it being filled with his bed, and the other with his closet and dresser. But Hunter still loved it in here, despite the fact that when he lounged against the bed, he could stretch his legs out and touch the other wall. Hed grown up in a musty, dark cellar because he couldnt stand to live in the same house as Karofsky, never knowing when he would come up, always feeling like he had to sleep with one eye open, even though he couldnt see at all. All he could hope for was that he could make out his shifting silhouette through the house that was smothered in black by nightfall.
Hunter had never had much of a bed to sink into, smothering himself in warm blankets and plump pillows, and his feet were always cold when he stepped down onto his concrete floor, which was only one thin layer away from the cool soil below. Hunters favorite thing to do was sit on Dillons plush carpet, digging his fingers and toes into the coils of fabric, and rest his head on his thick mattress. Watching a vague image of his friend as he sat down beside of him, Hunter took the gooey pizza that was plopped into his hand. Dillon, already having stuffed his face, mumbled around a huge bite, "Im really glad youre staying over tonight. Ive missed you."
Hunter frowned, feeling Dillon press his head onto his shoulder. Sliding his open arm around Dillons back, he reached up for his head of dark, shaggy hair, and he ran his fingers through the wavy locks. Dillons soft, thick hair threaded through his fingers, slipping over his knuckles. "You see me every day. We havent been apart at all this summer."
Dillon wrapped his arms around Hunters neck, "No... I miss you, Hunter. Every time I see you, were always with other friends of yours... or my sister. You dont act like yourself when theyre around. I like the way you act around me."
Hunter snorted, "I wouldnt call them friends, Dillon. Theyre just guys that like to have a few cigarettes with me. And your sister..." he took a deep, shuddering breath. "I dont know, Dillon. I dont know about me and Beth. All we do around each other is drink and get high." Holding Dillon closer to his chest, he muttered against his hair, "I dont love anyone the way I love you, Dillon. I dont want to change... but sometimes I feel like I have to."
Dillons voice came out much lower, "I think youre better than them, Hunter. If you have to change around them, that means that youre not like them. Do you remember what you did when we met? When everyone else had completely isolated me because they thought I was weird... or they called me a fag... or my dads fags? You were the only one who hadnt shunned me... probably because you shunned yourself. I found you sitting outside, around the back of the school. You were smoking a cigarette. And I wiped the tears off my face... and I said hello to you. And you looked at me... and you had this funny smirk on your face. And then you raised your hand and waved at me."
Laughing quietly, Hunter felt Dillon move against him, curling his entire body into his chest, "Ive loved you ever since that day. I wish I could be perfect for you, Dillon. You have no idea how long Ive wanted to be with you. Maybe if things were different, we would be together. But I know that you couldnt take it. Im too much for you. I cant do that to you. Youre like a clumsy deer... and Im a hunter. I could kill you, Dillon. It would be so easy. I cant put you through... me."
"I dont want you to be with me, Hunter." Dillon whispered, turning his face into Hunters neck. "I know that I couldnt handle you. I dont want to try to. Im not nearly strong enough to contain someone like you. Besides... I know that youre still in love with someone else. And I do love you, Hunter... but Im not in love with you. Were just similar enough to be best friends... but too different to be lovers."
"Im sorry." Hunter grunted, idly sliding his hand down to the waist of his pants, where he felt the outline of a knife sitting inside of his pocket. "Dillon... I know that youll make someone really happy someday."
Dillon clung tighter to him, balling up handfuls of his shirt in his fists, "Hunter... what was his name?"
Hunter raised his brows, "I... dont remember. I wish I did. Over the years, things have faded away. All I have of him are paintings. The only thing I know for certain was that his eyes were blue... He had these big, bright eyes. And I think he had freckles." Looking down at the top of Dillons head, he stroked his hair once more, "Sometimes I feel like it wasnt just Karofsky, Dillon. Thats crazy, I know... but Im not entirely certain that hes my real dad. When I look at you with your parents... I can remember... feeling something like that. I dont know if Im making it all up in my head... but I remember these warm hands reaching down for me... I remember being cradled against this silky material. The hands were so soft. I remember singing... this beautiful, high pitched voice lulling me to sleep. Sometimes the hands were rough, though. But they were still gentle with me. I remember laughter... and spinning in circles... and jumping up and down. I remember sitting on this swing... and screaming as I kept going higher and higher. But then I would come back down to earth... and Id be safe in a pair of arms that always caught me."
By the tone of his voice, he could tell that Dillon was smiling, "Hunter, I really hope you find what youre looking for." Despite how few words there were, Hunter was still appeased by the simple phrase, because, after a while, he had forgotten what he was even looking for. He didnt know that, somewhere deep inside of him, he wanted to keep going, to finally finish this game of hide-and-seek.
Before they could keep talking, a knock on the door interrupted their conversation, and Dillon called for whoever it was to come in. The door cracked open, and although Hunter couldnt see who was standing there, he made out the tone of Dillons other dad, Finn. He seemed to be speaking to someone else, so Hunter assumed that he was on the phone. "No... were keeping him in McKinley. Is that where you really want to send Archer? Hes never even been to a private school before. You remember how hard it was on Kurt to be thrown into that situation when hed never been exposed to it before."
There was a brief pause, and then he clicked his tongue, something he did when he was considering his options, "I guess youre right. So... a senior, huh? What about his languages? I didnt think Archer knew much English." There was another moment of silence, the only noise rattling around in Finns ear. "No... Im just shocked. Blaine, you havent been back to Ohio in ten years... for Carole and Burts anniversary, I think. Are you sure this is whats best? This was a really sudden decision. Do you think you can handle it?"
Finn inhaled deeply, then released a large huff of air, "No... of course not. Listen... I know you probably have some work to do before the move. Im going to talk to Dillon about this. Have Kurt call me later. Ill see you in two weeks."
As soon as the call was clicked off, Dillon noisily spoke up, "Dad, was that Uncle Blaine?"
Finn sounded unsure, as if he had already forgotten who hed just been talking to, "Yeah... um... hey, Dil. I need you to listen to me very carefully... This is really important to your uncle. Your cousin, Archer... has brought up that he wants to go to Ohio to attend the rest of his schooling. You know how your uncle is about Ohio. He loves all of us... but he hates what happened here."
Dillon nodded, "I remember."
Finn shuffled from foot to foot, "Dillon... your uncle is willing to let this happen on two conditions. He said that Archer has to keep up on his dance lessons while hes going through his more practical classes... and that he always has to be safe, which means that you have to look out for him, Dil. He was raised in France... youve heard how rough his English is. Hes not going to know anyone, and he probably wont understand all of his classes. The only reason hes been put in the senior class is because he already has scholarships being offered for next year for him to go into some of the best dance schools. I know that youre probably excited to see your cousin... but, Dillon, your uncle is being very strict about this. He said that if even one thing goes wrong, hes taking Archer back to France. Can you promise me that youll look out for your cousin?"
Dillon threw his hands into the air, nearly whacking Hunter in the face. Hunter pushed himself a few inches away, but kept his arm around the small of his back. "When will Archer be here?"
His dad sounded amused, "A week before school starts. Dont worry, Im not going to let you miss the day they arrive. Theyre moving into your grandma and grandpas old house. Youve never been in it... but weve driven past it a few times." As he made to leave the room, he briefly twisted back around and said, "Im not kidding, Dillon. I want you to keep an eye on him."
Hearing the door snap shut behind Dillons dad, Hunter glanced over at his friend, who startled him by making a celebratory sound before he swung his arms around him. "Hunter, my cousin is coming to live in Ohio!" He yelped, as if Hunter hadnt been present for that entire conversation. "You have to meet Archer. I think you two would get along. Hes a lot like you. Hes very serious... and he always speaks his mind." His friends voice wavered with something that sounded like humor, and he teased him, "The unsurpassable Hunter might just meet his match."
Hunter playfully punched Dillons arm, "Youre questioning my ability to hold my own? What did I tell you about questioning me?"
Dillon returned his arms to Hunters shoulders, fingering the light hairs at his nape, "I think, Hunter, that one day youre going to question everything about yourself."
Helplessly snorting with laughter, Hunter wrapped his best friend up tighter. He knew that he never questioned anything but the things that werent himself, if only, after so many years of hiding what was really him, he could know what those things were.
It was the seventh night in a row that Archer had spent tossing and turning, and it was becoming a tiresome burden, getting such a little amount of sleep and then expecting to be as good as those academies he was promised expected him to be during his dance lessons. Archer had had a long, wearing day that left him drowsy and sticky, after he spent many hours resting on his bed, his sopping face buried in his cool pillows. Hed never been disappointed with his parents before. Hed also never screamed at them. Feeling guilty and ashamed of the childish way he had acted toward them, when he was sure there had to be a reason they were so protective of him when it came to Ohio, he raised his bedraggled, unkempt head at the sound of muffled voices from a few doors down. The louder one was obviously his daddys, while he couldnt hear much from his père. The biting tone of his daddys voice cut through his skin, making him flinch at the pain he was caused by knowing that he was the one who had made him so frustrated. Archer had always been good for his parents, had never spoken out of turn, and had always behaved just as they asked him to. He realized that his argument had probably been ridiculous, and a little unasked for, but it was the thing that he wanted more than anything, something theyd never given him, except for those two or three days when they went back ten years ago. He felt that he wasnt being treated fairly, no matter how lavishly they provided for him in France. No matter how much he loved living in France, he loved what was in Ohio.
Hearing his daddys voice raise, Archer widened his eyes, cautiously pressing his face to the cold wall. He wondered if his parents were arguing, and then considered that impossible, since, in the past thirteen years, he had never heard them fight. He didnt know if they even could. Unable to make out any of the words, he pushed away from the wall, sliding his legs out from under his blankets. Hed eavesdropped on his parents before, so he was no stranger to keeping his footsteps soft and his breathing measured as he wandered out of his bedroom, tiptoeing down the long hallway to his parents room. When he was just a child, hed innocently followed his parents up the stairs after they got back from one of their nights out, watching them with adoring eyes as they whispered endearments and touched each others faces. Hed peeked through the crack theyd left at the side of the door, trying to hold in his giggles as his daddy playfully scooped hispère off of his feet, whirling him around. Unfortunately, one of his snickers had slipped out, and his daddys wide, golden eyes had turned to him, and hed set his père aside, running across the room to lift Archer into his strong arms and smack sloppy kisses all over his scrunched face.
Pacing across the floor, Archer got to the partially closed door, putting his hands to the side of it as he leaned as near as he could without putting any weight on the door. He got an image of the edge of their bed, which his père was sitting on, his arms folded across his stomach and his head lowered. Suddenly, his daddys lissome form stalked in front of his père, who looked up at him with a helplessly devastated expression. "Blaine, please... dont fret so. Youre worrying me."
His daddy instantly stopped moving, turning to his husband, who held his hands out for him. "Archers never expressed an interest to go to Ohio before. Why now? Why so urgently?"
Archer pressed his lips together, ducking away from the door. His père whispered in a high voice, "Why shouldnt he want to go back now? Blaine... we knew this day would come. Archer is growing up... Hes not a child anymore. Hes going to want things like this. He doesnt know anyone, dear... All he asked was to see his cousins. He feels left out of the normal life that any other teenager would live. Hes trying to fit in. Our Archer isnt normal, Blaine... but he wants to be, if only for a little while." When his daddy didnt let out anything but an aggravated sound, his pèrestood up, clasping his fingers in his small hands. "Blaine... I know youre scared, but its been fourteen years. We cant keep Archer in hiding forever. Hes like you... He cant stay in one place for long."
His daddy turned away from the door, flinging his hands up to his face, "I cant risk Archer, Kurt-!"
"Karofsky has nothing against Archer. It was Hunter he wanted-" His père pleaded, folding both of his hands over his husbands arm as if he was trying to keep him from jerking away.
His daddys voice became much louder, "He wanted everything against me, Kurt! That means taking you away... taking Archer away... Do you remember when he kidnapped you? When he slammed his truck into your car? Karofsky doesnt stop... He cant stop."
"Blaine," his père said calmly, touching his husbands shoulder when he turned away from him, "whether or not Karofsky is there or isnt there, you arent happy. We dont even know where he is. Dont you want to see our family? We cant keep living like this, Blaine... Even Archer realizes as much, and he doesnt even know them. Do you know how we got together? By taking risks." At the look that his husband gave him, his père opened his arms once more, a gesture that his husband sighed at as he gave in, bending down to collect him against his wide chest. "Youve always been a caring daddy to him... but maybe you should try not thinking of what might or might not be best for him... and consider what he thinks is best."
His daddy dropped his face into his hand, but Archer could tell that his disposition was down. A few words from his père could take his daddys resistance apart. Staring at both of his parents, Archer slowly backed away, then whipped around and rushed back to his room. No matter how much he wanted this, he felt like he needed to go back into hiding, safe inside of his own heart, because being close to others had once killed him. He didnt know if a broken heart could hurt anymore.