~Fifteen Years Later~

Surrounded by his dearest family members, a petite boy was curled up next to a crackling fireplace, the reddish orange lights dancing over the delicate bones in his porcelain face. He was isolated from the rest of them, despite their bursts of laughter breaking into the small bubble that always surrounded him, that he always kept up. Christmas was the only holiday that made his distant family members take leave of their usual settings, and parade themselves to his house, where his parents hosted a holiday party. His eyes, painted the most unusual blue-like the color of glass-flickered up to the others that were sitting around the room, chattering eagerly, as if they all had the most interesting stories to tell each other.

In one corner of the room was his great-aunt, whose form swayed as she doused her mouth with eggnog that had been laced with rum. Beside of her stood her tall, slender husband, a blind man named Émile, who had been reunited with her when Elzs papa had visited a home for the disabled and read one of his numerous stories to them. Despite having not spoken to each other for years, the two of them snapped back together like puzzle pieces, and had been inseparable ever since. On her other side stood Keegan, his uncle, whose hair had recently started to turn an ashen gray, rather than the vibrant blond that it once was.

On the other side of the room, his great-grandma bowed over her husbands wheelchair, the sides of her dark gray bob swinging into her round, kind face every time she checked on Elzs great-grandpa. The wrinkled, bald man had begrudgingly accepted his spot in a wheelchair years ago, when he had finally come to terms with the fact that his legs were giving out. With some badgering from Elzs grand-père, who constantly worried about his health from a half of a world away, his great-grandpa had taken up residence in his wheelchair, and only climbed out of it to get into the bathtub or to crawl under the covers. Next to his great-grandparents were his great-uncles, Finn and Noah, their withered hands clasped between them as they chuckled with the older couple. The only people who hadnt made it to the gathering were Finn and Noahs children. Although Elz had never met her, hed been told of his aunt, Beth, who had ostracized herself from their side of the family and hadnt spoken to them in years. And then there was Aunt Jen, who was completing her doctorate degree in law, and wasnt able to leave her intensive schooling to make it for Christmas. His uncle, Dillon, had also distanced himself from the family, and had chosen to spend his Christmas in Maine, with his husband and his four stepchildren. After completing high school, Dillon had briefly pursued a career in acting, before he gave it all up when he met Tyler, a man nearly fifteen years his senior, with a permanent position as an accountant. The man, twice divorced and with four children from either marriage, had offered Dillon the comforts of his home, in exchange for a place in their family-which was sitting on a large heap of money-as if he deserved a penny of what they had.

Finally, Elz swept his eyes over to his parents and his grandparents, who Elz, despite feeling weak and tired from all of his frustration and sorrow, managed to smile at. His grandpa, as he usually did, held his husband on his knee, his arms around his waist. Elzs grand-père, who hadnt aged a day over forty, and was still beautiful with wrinkles at the corners of his eyes and parentheses around his lips, played in his husbands raven black hair, his fingers pinching the strands of gray that made his hair appear even glossier. His grandpa, as well, didnt look, or act, his age, and was still very handsome, with a gentle smile and his wise eyes, which were usually peering at his small, perky husband. His parents, both of them thirty four, had also aged well, and hadnt changed very much over the years. The two couples kept each other lively, his grandparents taking trips into the city and treating everything as if it was new and exciting-like two teenagers freshly in love-and returning home, exhausted, and coddling and kissing each other, wherever they could find skin. Elz knew that his grandparents were just thankful to have each other.

His parents, on the other hand, managed their relationship like Elz imagined a hodgepodge of unruly pirates would take over a ship, forcefully and passionately. Unlike most other couples, his parents spent most of their time bickering with one another, even if the subject were trivial. They had even stooped so low as to fire cannons in the middle of a store, over which salt and pepper shakers they were going to buy. Elz, despite finding these episodes so embarrassing that all he could do was slink away, knew that his parents were never being serious, and only argued in such a way just for the sake of being right. Even though neither would admit it, both held themselves with an arrogant demeanor. But in the time that they werent yelping at each other, his papa was usually coaxing his husband into a mild temperament, luring him into the bedroom, which they shut themselves inside and didnt come out of until the following morning.

Elz, having grown up around several different types of relationships, was unsure of how to handle his own-if he would ever have one. He had tried to hold off until he figured out the kind of relationship that he wanted, but had unfortunately given in to the whimsy of his romantic side, which had begged for him to throw caution to the wind and leap toward the only man who had ever expressed interest in him, Danny. Although he didnt know what to do with the attention, Elz had been the subject of Dannys intrigue for the past year. The seventeen year old, who was two grades ahead of him and about to graduate from high school, had pursued Elz since hed first laid eyes on him. Elz, however, hadnt been easy for him to snag for three reasons. No matter how he tried to speak up and make conversation that would have Danny at the edge of his seat, Elzs crippling shyness was a trait he simply couldnt overcome, and was one that had turned Danny away several times, after he had asked Elz a series of questions, only to hear a few incoherent mumbles as Elz dropped his blushing head, his fingers twiddling with his frosty, blond curls.

The second time that Elz had realized that the two of them were probably not going to be together was when he had brought Danny home, insisting that he would never attach himself to a boy unless he had the approval of his family. It hadnt taken his papa more than a few seconds to appraise Danny, his wide lips pursing and his arms folding over his chest as Danny threw a hand at him, introducing himself in an informal manner that had his papa so unimpressed that he made him leave before dinner was set on the table. Afterward, his papa had explained that hed been put under the same microscope with his in-laws, and although he hadnt done as well as he could have with winning them over, had given some effort to prove that he wanted to be the protector and provider for their son.

And that was the night that Zabe had started to act differently around Elz. He and his adopted brother had grown up rubbing elbows with each other, all of their actions mirroring each others, their mouths completing each others sentences. Zabe was the only person who Elz had ever felt safe enough to open up completely with, and he remembered long nights of resting in Zabes long, tawny arms, whispering until his voice was raspy, and then letting Zabe into his head, since his brother seemed to have the talent of reading his mind. When Danny had forced his way into Elzs life and interrupted his and his brothers friendship, Zabe had instantly taken a step closer to Elz, acting with an unexplainable possessiveness that led him to accompanying Elz and Danny, whenever they found a time when their paths crossed.

Once, when Danny had asked him to have coffee with him after school, Zabe had tagged along with Elz on the trip to the café, knowing that his brother wouldnt refuse him and tell him to leave. Danny had been so irritated by Zabes presence thatd hed shouted obscenities at Zabe, awful words that had made Elz squirm anxiously, but his brother, once Danny was through with his tantrum, merely scoffed at. Quirking a menacing brow, he had grumbled lowly to Danny, words that Elz hadnt been able to hear, but had been able to interpret from the horrified look on Dannys face.

It was earlier this morning when Elz had called Danny, asking him if he would still be joining them for dinner this evening. Danny hadnt picked up, but had sent him a blunt and impersonal message about how he had moved on and wanted to start seeing other people. Surprisingly, Elz hadnt been distraught over this statement, and had merely felt his eye twitch as he fought himself on correcting Danny over the fact that Elz had never agreed to be anything to him in the first place. Since Danny hadnt shown up, though, and his brother had been nowhere to be found after hed eaten dinner, Elz sat with his dog, Bet, unable to converse easily with anyone else in the room. He stroked his slender hand over the dogs fuzzy belly, which was sticking up at the ceiling as Bet basked in the heat that radiated from the fireplace.

After so many minutes without his brother, who he never spent any amount of time away from, Elz wondered where he had gone to when he excused himself from the crowd of people. Tapping Bets belly, he clicked his tongue at the dog, "Come on, Bet. Its time to get up." Bet snorted at him, struggling to roll himself over, and then shaking once he was on his feet. He lumbered after Elz, who slowly approached the couch that his parents were lounging on, his papas legs sprawled, and his daddy plopped in the lee of them, his curly head tucked into the tan column of his husbands throat. His papa had been nursing a mug of cider, but instantly set it aside to acknowledge him with a grin. He reached out for his sons hand and squeezed it. "Papa, do you know where Zabe has gone?"

His papa shook his head, as he mindlessly smoothed a hand over his husbands frizzy curls, "No, I dont. Sorry, beautiful, but you tend to know more about that boys whereabouts than I do. Hes always disappearing somewhere."

Elz removed his hand from his papas strong grip, "Im going to find Zabe." He was about to turn away so he could track down his best friend, when his papa drew him back, his brown eyes warm and affectionate.

"Hold on, sweetheart. Are you having a good time?"

Flattered by his papas incessant concern over him, Elz nodded emphatically. "Yes, Papa. I love being with my family, but you know that I do better when Im with Zabe. Hes the better half of me."

His papa pulled him down and kissed his forehead, "Not the better half... just the louder half. He has a way of knowing what you want to say, when you cant say it yourself."

Elz left his parents on the couch, waving at both of them, as he did his best to not stumble over legs or decorations on his way over to the door. He took his coat from a hanger and slid it over his white shirt, and then worked to button it with one hand as he opened the front door. Breathing in the cool breeze that was jarring to his skin that had adjusted to the blazing fire, Elz looked down at Bet as he nosed his way through the field of fallen diamonds, the two of them crushing the fine jewels under their feet. He giggled at Bet when the dog made a show of flopping into a thick mound of whiteness and rolling in it until his black fur was camouflaged. "You look like a snowman, Bet." Elz told the tiny dog, watching him chomp at the snow as he waddled through it, lifting his stubby legs high in the air. "What a silly dog."

Reaching the wooden swing, Elz brushed the snow from the top of it and lowered himself, peering at the frozen lake from a safe distance. All around him was enveloping blackness, and swirls of snow that danced out of the sky. He took a deep breath, seeing a puff of air hang in front of his face for a few seconds before the wind swept it away. All at once, Elz was shaken from his trance on his peaceful world at the sound of a body jumping from one of the trees and landing hard behind him. Elz didnt have to turn around to know who it was. He gasped as a pair of warm hands closed over his, which had been gripping the ropes, and drew him back, then let him go. Elz drifted forward, the tips of his shoes brushing the surface of the snow.

In the company of his brother, Elz couldnt bring himself to be upset any longer about being rejected by Danny, and let himself freely laugh as he swung back into his brothers hands, but wasnt pushed forward this time. Instead, Zabe wound his arms around his middle, his chin lowering to Elzs shoulder. "I knew that you would be out here." Elz remarked, his shoulder vibrating as Zabe chuckled against it. "What have you been up to?"

"The usual... breathing, swallowing-" Zabe chortled once more when Elz twisted his neck, letting himself see the side of Zabes head. "I dont know. Ive been thinking."

"And you do your best thinking out in the cold? And up in a tree?" Zabe flicked his bright eyes to Elzs face. Elz flushed at the look of adoration that Zabe gave him, his blue eyes closing as Zabe nuzzled at the side of Elzs face. Elz also let his eyes slide shut, giving into the fire that Zabes touch painted across his skin, leaving behind a heat even warmer than that which the fireplace had let off. Somehow, his adopted brother made him feel more beautiful than he actually was, while Elz knew that he was far too tall and lanky, nearly two inches over six feet, but so skinny that he looked awkwardly built. His features, pale and colorless, didnt stand out the way that Zabes did, with his sharp eyes against the background of his tawny skin. His cinnamon colored hair, which hung over his forehead but was cut short in the back, made his eyes even greener, like two shards of emerald in the middle of his face. Zabe was just barely taller than him, if only by an inch or two, but was wider than Elz, with his broad shoulders and toned muscles.

Elz bit back a low purr as Zabe kissed the lobe of his ear, "I do better thinking when I have all of the gossips in our family blathering in my ear than I do when Im around you. You make me feel stupid, because all I can do is gape and drool when youre near." Elzs skin colored a darker pink at the outrageous compliments, but before he could tell Zabe to stop his nonsense, Zabe muttered, "Wasnt Denny supposed to be here for dinner?"

"Danny." Elz corrected, as hed done many times before. "And... yes. But... hes decided that it would be best for him to move on. And I understand his choice, because it-"

"Really?" Zabe asked wryly. "You understand a mans choice to give up on you? Because I dont. While Im not saying that Im not relieved by his decision to back off of you... a smart one, if you ask me... I dont get why any man would ever refuse you. Look at you, Elz. Youre stunning."

Elz wriggled, "Perhaps it was my shyness that-"

"I find your shyness endearing." Zabe countered, always one with reasons to back up his arguments. "And I like when you forget that you have moments when you become tongue-tied, and you talk, and, talk, and talk."

Zabe was referring to moments that only he had been present to witness, when Elz would lose himself in the comfort of knowing that his brother would never look down on him, never turn on him, and would blab his ear off about things that Elz simply couldnt reveal to anyone else. Looking down at the snow, he watched Bet chase after a snowflake that was blowing in the wind. "I dont mean to babble, Zabe. It must be very dull to have to sit and listen to me. Its just... youre my best friend, and I dont have anyone else-"

"I like being all that you need." Zabe suddenly came around to the other side of the swing, his large hands grabbing the rope, and his body bending closer to Elz, until the tips of their reddened noses nearly bumped. "You dont sound upset about losing David. Why is that?"

Elz narrowed his glassy eyes at Zabe, a look that Zabe responded to with a sheepish smirk. "Youre doing that on purpose now." Zabe didnt dispute that, so Elz sighed, shaking his head back and forth as he continued. "I dont know why Im not sad. I suppose I never... felt close to Danny. I couldnt talk to him the way that I do with you." Zabe looked satisfied by those words, a smile forming on his lips that made Elzs heart thump. He wondered if Zabe had ever noticed that Elz only poked out of his shell when he had Zabes encouragement. "And none of the family liked him... you, especially. I suppose... I held onto him for so much longer because I was hoping..." His voice trailed off, and he flitted his blue eyes back up to Zabes face as he whispered, "You see, all of those romance novels that Papa writes... those have filled my head with ideas of lovesick men... and... and nonsensical prittle prattle that wouldnt make sense in the real world. I would be a fool to believe that I could ever affect a man so much so that he-"

"And what about for Grandpa and Grand-père? And for Papa and Daddy?" Zabe urged, making Elz shake his head in a state of confusion and frustration.

"Do you believe what Papa writes, Zabe?"

"I believe in true love." He pointed out, "I dont believe its all at once. I think that love is like a flower, and when the seeds of it are first planted, they need to be cared for, so that they can grow." Carefully, Zabe pressed himself closer to Elz, who started to scoot back, but felt the backs of his knees hit the seat. Trapped against Zabe, Elz released a light whimper when his muscular hand rose to his jaw, fingertips tracing his thumping pulse down the hollow of his throat. "I believe that I know what love feels like, if only I could know why the boy I love thinks he couldnt move a man, and therefore wont acknowledge my feelings for him?"

Elzs short breaths filtered through his teeth. Tipping his head back, Elz felt his curls swing away from his face, replaced by Zabes lips, which pressed kisses into his temples, across his forehead, along the curves of his ears. Elz had spent the last fifteen years of his life sleeping next to Zabe, and had wondered, as he grew older, what these new desires meant as Elz longed to peel away the blanket and explore Zabes changing body, and craved for Zabe to wake up and climb lazily on top of him. It became clear that these were not one-sided yearnings. "Zabe, I-I just cant accept that I could do anything to a man." Elz offered weakly, his voice barely a squeak.

"Maybe this could be the start of our love story, and I could spend the first ten chapters proving to you exactly what you do to me." Zabe thrust his hips at Elz, the movement making a shaky keen rupture from his vibrating throat. "Do you love me?"

Elz nodded, unable to contain his need anymore, "Of course I do. I love you."

"And I love you, too, as... more." Elz knew what Zabe was referring to, but simply stopped caring-something that Elz didnt do easily-when Zabe sealed his lips over Elzs, his tongue licking at the line where they were stuck together. Elz opened his mouth and let Zabe in, moaning as Zabe licked past his rows of teeth, but then drew back out. He held onto Elz, looking at him with a pair of darkened eyes. As he brushed a stray curl from Elzs face, he whispered, "We were brought together by circumstances we couldnt control. I was born of rape, and you of unknown causes, but those people in there... generations of family members... did things that caused us to be together. Dont ever disregard that fact, Elz. You and I were meant to be before we were even born." Lifting one of his hands, Zabe gestured at their surroundings, which Elz had forgotten about as Zabe kissed him, and then brought the hand back to himself. "Do you see your new world, little kitten?"