The first Christmas that Blaine remembered was when he was three years old, a naïve child who was oblivious to the way that his house was so cold and dark, while other homes were warm and cozy. He guessed that because hed been around it for so long, his skin had hardened to the cold. It no longer bothered him that there was something wrong with his home that there wasnt with others. But on that day he did notice, as he watched out his bedroom window, families in other houses gather around each other and hug and give pretty presents that they all seemed to delight in. There was laughter and love and happiness, and he wanted to give the same to his parents, a gift and hugs and kisses. Maybe they would appreciate his affection for them, just on that one day.

He had climbed all the way up his closet, stretching to reach the very back of the top shelf, where he had hidden a small, porcelain doll. Cooper had given her to Blaine when he was only a newborn, as a welcoming home gift, and displayed her on the nightstand next to his crib. Blaine remembered that he loved looking into her big, blue eyes, sparkling with humor at some joke that she seemed to share with Blaine, that he could secretly understand. Then her beauty had been insulted in some way that Blaine couldnt understand-how could anyone not think her blue eyes lovely-when his dad had found her looking out for Blaine as he dreamed peacefully, because of her gentle gaze, not because of the screaming downstairs.

His dad had caused an uproar that Blaine couldnt understand at the time, just a lot of swinging his arms around and stomping and spitting. Blaine figured that, after hearing all of his other tantrums, it had something to do with little boys not having dolls because that made them girlish, or Blaine being a mistake of a son, or that he didnt have time to discipline because he had work to do. Blaine had been upset that his dad had his favorite doll and was flinging it around, threatening to break it, but his brother had soothed him by stealing the doll from his dads hands, calming him down with what Blaine could only assume was a promise to get rid of the doll. After his dad had left, Cooper had stuck the doll on the highest shelf of Blaines closet, then come over to his crib and bent over him. Hed pressed his finger to his lips to tell Blaine to stay hushed about what hed just done, and the doll had become their secret.

Blaine had slowly started to miss his doll, getting only brief flashes of her whenever someone would open his closet door, and, as soon as he was big enough, he climbed up there to see her when he was feeling lonely. Those moments with her were always too short, as he would fall to the floor whenever he heard someone coming down the hallway, but he found comfort in her dusty, blue eyes. Hed almost been found out a few times, when his mom had opened his door and found him on his back by his closet. Shed assumed that hed fallen from up high, so shed reached up and felt around his tallest shelf, but then pulled her hand back when she remembered that she wasnt that interested in him or what he wanted so badly from his top shelf. His friendship with his doll had continued, and as he pulled her down on Christmas and scrubbed away the smudges of dust that overwhelmed her once perfect body, he just knew that his parents cold hearts had warmed for the happy holiday and that they could have a friendship with her, too. Maybe they would even take her out of hiding and put her on the coffee table so everyone could enjoy her and admire her.

Hed hurried down the stairs with wide, hopeful eyes and a tight grip on his favorite doll, but he became a little more cautious about how happy he appeared when he was only met with the tense silence left from last nights fight, voices screaming about something that Blaine couldnt make out. He eventually assumed that they were arguing over who could keep Blaine awake the longest, and assuring himself that their argument wasnt over him had been the greatest lullaby, not his moms shrieking voice that should have been a soft hum about how she couldnt wait to get up in the morning and see her baby again, or his dads shouting voice that should have been quiet grumbles about how he was ready to get in bed and stretch out his tense back.

When he took a few steps toward them, his mom finally lifted her drooping head, her face pale and her eyes baggy. Her black hair that she always made up so nicely for when Cooper visited had fallen limp at her shoulders, and her pale lips that she always made sure were perked up into a smile had lowered to her chin. Without changing her expression for Blaine, not even giving him the faintest of smiles, she turned away from him as if she knew of the explosive that he was about to ignite. She wasnt going to help him if it meant risking herself, but she didnt want to see the aftermath of the bomb going off, either. After taking a deep breath and assuring himself that they would live on as a happy family after they got his hugs and gift, he padded up to them on the very tips of his feet and stopped in front of the coffee table, which his dad was hunched over. He could see his dad swallow every few seconds, his brown throat moving, his stubbly cheeks sucking in and then pushing out.

He reached back and rubbed his nape, which must have been sore from being bent like that for what Blaine assumed must have been a couple of hours. He was staring at their checkbook, numbers and dollar signs and business terms that Blaine didnt know scribbled all over it. He just kept looking at it, never even blinking, and Blaine wondered what was so interesting about a bunch of money theyd paid to different companies. Blaine decided to give him something better to look at, and he scooted his doll onto the pile of papers his dad was perusing. When his dad didnt react but only hardened his jaw, Blaine held his hands up, hoping his dad would snatch him into a hug and kiss his face. "Daddy, can I have a hug?" He asked very quietly, and Richard finally jerked up.

He threw his hands apart, one of them knocking into his doll and throwing her to the floor. Blaine watched through horrified eyes as pieces of her flew in every direction, none of her staying together, but he didnt look at her for long because he felt a hard slap across his cheek. Tumbling backwards, Blaine stared up at his dad as he fumed and snarled, "Just let me work, Blaine!" He had screamed at Blaine, and Blaine had felt his cheeks puff up to the size of oranges as his eyes became as wet as rain, but he knew better than to cry in front of them. It would give them too much power. He had stiffened his bottom lip and staggered over to the shards of his doll, trying to piece her back together, but he couldnt keep her head from turning away from him, just as his parents heads had. He even threw his mom a desperate look, hoping she would get up and find glue for him, but she looked away, pretending he wasnt even there.

Hed gathered up as much of his doll as he could, and the next time Coop had come over hed shown her to him with a guilty expression. He felt like he was at fault for her death because he was the one who put her at risk, and he hated it that when he had started crying because he missed his doll so much Coop had gathered him up in his strong arms and gave him kisses. He didnt deserve them, and he became even angrier with himself because he hadnt tried to fight off the hugs or kisses. He got so very little love that he was needy for whatever he could get, and he had felt bitter and pathetic as he laid in Coops arms and sobbed over his lost doll, one of the very few people who had ever looked at him with smiling eyes.

That was the only memory of Christmas that he had, so when Elizabeth shuffled them outside and piled them into the car with plans to drive over to a Christmas tree lot, Blaine could only assume that the worst was going to happen. But when they got there and Elizabeth and Kurt scampered ahead to find the perfect tree, still nothing had gone wrong. It wasnt until he heard Kurt scream that he started to worry, but when he wandered past a few trees, ducking between limbs and trying not to get whacked, he found Kurt gazing up at a pink tree with huge eyes. "Maman, its pink!" Elizabeth appeared a moment later, laughing behind her fingertips.

"It is, isnt it, my sweetheart?" She touched one of the limbs, making a needle fall off and brush the tip of Kurts nose. He wrinkled it and batted at it. "Do you like it, honey? Lets see if Blaine likes it just as much. We should check for little animals, too!"

Kurts eyes widened to the size of saucers, "Are they sleeping, Maman? I dont want to wake them up." Stretching on his toes, he peeked between a few of the limbs, "Hello? Do you want to come home with us to have Christmas dinner? Its so yummy." Looking over his shoulder, Kurt pouted at his mom, "No one made a home of our tree."

Elizabeth rubbed her sons shoulder to show him how sorry she was, then twisted around and glanced between every tree, "Where did my dear Blaine go? Is he playing hide-and-seek with me? Hes very good." When Kurt started crying for Blaine to come back, Blaine stepped out from behind one of the trees and showed himself to Kurt, who bounced with excitement. That got the attention of his mom, who also became very giddy. "Theres my precious Blaine! Come over here and look at our tree! What do you think? Is it big enough?"

Blaine nodded his head, and Kurt clapped his hands and whirled back around to the tree. His mom unzipped her purse and pulled out two ornaments, handing the ballerina shoe to Kurt and keeping the other in her hand. "Its always a tradition to bring an ornament for Kurt to put on the tree he likes best. He likes to know if it looks pretty or not. Do you want to hang an ornament, sweetie?" She held it out to Blaine, who took a small step towards her. His eyes widened at the ornament, a porcelain doll that looked just like his. Elizabeth smiled at the sudden change in his expression, "Do you like her? I think shes pretty. Put her on the tree if youd like."

She set her in his shaky hands, and he gasped at how smooth she felt, just like his. She was cold to the touch, but he couldnt feel it over the warmth spreading through him. He tried not to show his love for her, fearing shed be taken away if he showed how much he enjoyed dolls. "Weve had her since the very day that Kurt was born. I was just about to give birth and Kurts daddy was so nervous that he left the room and went down to the gift shop. He came back up and gave her to me, and I thought that she was such a sweet gift that I started laughing. I couldnt stop... and then Kurt came... and I kept laughing because I was so happy." She grinned at some memory that Blaine couldnt see but wished he could, and then she said, "Kurt wasnt unhappy at all... I think its because of her! But he certainly was fussy... he loved getting coddled and cooed over, and he would go absolutely mad when we showed him his doll. We had to stay at the hospital for a few hours, and all he wanted to do was look at her. He couldnt smile but I could tell he wanted to. Whenever we laid him down next to his doll, he would wriggle and shimmy. It looked just like he was dancing because he was so happy to be near her! Youre holding a very special thing to this family. Shes just like you, isnt she? You make Kurt smile... and youre so special."

Both of them seemed shocked when Blaine pressed himself into her chest, and he expected her to push him away, but she squeezed him tighter. "I love you so much, Blaine." She murmured in his ear, making him twitch. "I wish I could treasure you forever... like I do our doll." Blaine had never been compared to something as beautiful as his doll, and he closed his eyes, not wanting to see his imperfections, wanting to believe that he could be as perfect as his doll.

After two hours of lounging on the bed beside of his sleeping children, Blaine felt himself dozing off, too, his head drooping to his husbands chest. He blankly stared at the TV screen, watching through narrowed eyes as Winnie, who had stolen honey, tumbled away from a swarm of angry bees. His cries for help from his friends were muffled to Blaines ears by a yawn that rushed out of his mouth, but when he closed his mouth again, he heard tiny whimpers and mewls that werent coming from a very sad Winnie, who had lost his honey jar. Beside of him, the blankets started rustling as small feet kicked, which alerted another pair of feet that had obviously fallen victim to the squirming and wiggling feet. Soon enough, two pairs of feet were kicking, and the cries became much noisier.

Looking down at his wriggling babies as they smacked their lips and rubbed their eyes with tiny fists, Blaine reached down for Archer, while Kurt took Hunter and stroked his back and hair. Blaine had gotten used to their napping routine, Archer waking up first and usually being so grumpy that he screeched until he startled Hunter awake, and Hunter, being clueless as to why there was yelling in his ear, would cry and fuss until someone picked him up and gave him kisses and hugs. Patting Archers bottom, Blaine turned his head and pressed kisses to every freckle on his face, "Youre okay, sweetheart. Do you want some more yogurt? Daddy put the rest of it in the fridge." When Archer squished his cheek to Blaines neck and bobbed his chin up and down, Blaine swung his legs off the side of the bed and got to his feet.

Archer looped his arms around Blaines neck when he started walking, following his hands with his blue eyes as he opened the fridge and pulled out what was left of the yogurt. He dipped the spoon into it and held it up to Archers mouth, and Archer stuck his tongue out and sucked the fruity treat. Taking his baby back over to the bed, he set him down and watched him toddle over to Kurt, almost falling onto his chest because the bed was so bouncy. Kurt happily took the baby into his arms and gave him a kiss, handing Hunter over to Blaine when he held his mouth open for a bite of the yogurt. After he fed Hunter what he wanted of the yogurt, he gave him back to Kurt and said, "Honeys, were probably going to eat dinner within an hour or two. If you get hungry before then, you need to tell Daddy."

Boosting himself back up, Archer teetered back over to Blaine, stepping over any bumps or lumps on the mattress so he didnt fall over. He held his arms up to be picked up again, but then he lost his balance and put his little hands on Blaines stomach. "Daddy, up?" Lifting his baby into his arms, Blaine rested him on his shoulder and took him over to the window, showing him the crowds of people below. It was just getting to be late afternoon, which meant that the park would be full of people.

He twisted back around but kept Archer facing the window because the world below him seemed to fascinate him as he batted at the glass that kept him from it, and he muttered to Kurt, "Babe, do you want to go back out? Hunt, baby, are you still sleepy?" While Kurt smoothed Hunters fallen hair off his face, Hunter shook his head, swallowing a yawn. Blaine figured that Archer must have woken him up too soon, but he was hiding his tiredness because he wanted to go back outside. "Come on, Archer. Lets find your shoes." Throwing the empty container in the trash on his way over to the door, where he had left their shoes, he knelt down by Archers sneakers and plopped him onto his knee. He picked up one shoe and slipped it over Archers sock, reaching for the laces, but Archer cried and batted at his knuckles.

"Wait! I can do it!" He stuck his tongue out in concentration as he looped the laces around each other, but he couldnt get them to twist together, so they kept falling to the sides. Making a sound of frustration, Archer wrinkled his nose with distaste. "Daddy, can you help me?" Blaine grinned at his son and took the laces back, showing him everything he did to make a bow.

He gave Archer the laces for his other shoe, and he held onto his tiny hands as he made a little bow on top of his shoe. "Thats so good, baby." Kissing his son to show him how proud he was, he picked him back up and walked over to Hunter, putting his shoes on his feet. He helped his husband off the bed, then walked past Keegan, who had gotten up from the chair and was collecting the tiny birds, who had been skittering across the floor and exploring the new place.

He led his family out the door and down to the lobby of the hotel, then over to the main doors that slid open for them. Warmth brushed his skin and heated him up, making him turn his head this way and that to expose himself to it. Hed never liked the cold. When a pair of pudgy hands patted his shoulder, he looked down at his smiling son, and he lifted him up higher and set him on his shoulders. Archer screamed with giddiness and grabbed fistfuls of Blaines curls, tugging so he didnt fall off. Blaine let go of his son for only a second, pretending to drop him, but as soon as he felt him tip backwards, he snatched him up again. Laughing until he was out of breath, Archer kicked his feet like a madman, and the thumps on Blaines shoulders got even harder when he spotted a parade of their favorite characters going by.

He flailed his hands at the soldiers from Toy Story as they marched by, then he wriggled so he could face Hunter, who was happily tucked away in Kurts arms. He was sucking on the tip of Kurts thumb, watching the parade with huge eyes. He looked just as enthralled by it, but unlike Archer, he enjoyed it with small smiles and waves of his hands, instead of yelling and screeching. "Hunner, look! Woody and Buzz!" Hunter followed Archers pointing finger to the astronaut and the cowboy, and the biggest grin broke out on his face.

"To infinity and beyond!" Hunter held up his arms, but he screamed and put them back down when Kurt tickled him. They stayed by the parade for several minutes, cheering for the characters that the babies loved most. After most of the parade passed by, Blaine took Archer off his shoulders and gave him a kiss. He still seemed excited about seeing characters from Toy Story, which was one of his favorite movies, so he decided to take his children over to one of the Toy Story rides.

When they got over there, Hunter and Archer celebrated by screaming so loudly that Blaine worried their throats would be sore. The line only took about ten minutes, but the babies amused themselves by staring at the pictures of the aliens on the walls. They eventually came across Buzz Lightyear, and Archer waved at him, screeching with delight when he started speaking to him. He turned to Blaine and gave him a proud grin that Blaine returned before he had to help Kurt into one of the cars and hand Archer over to him, making sure that Hunter was put in Keegans hands. Keegan climbed into the car behind theirs, and he held onto Hunter and kissed the tip of his nose. Smirking at his uncle, Hunter reached for the gun that was hooked onto the front of their car, and he tried to shoot at Blaine. Blaine grabbed onto his neck and threw his head back, but Archer jerked him out of death when he swatted at his arm. "Daddy, lets get them!"

Even though they were supposed to shoot at the aliens and robots they passed by, it became more of a battle between the babies over who could kill the other first. Hunter ducked a few times and laughed at Archer, which made him furious as he kicked his feet and stuck his bottom lip out. "Stop it, Hunner!" Blaine helplessly laughed at his children, distracted from the ride by their constant bantering. At the very end of the ride, Archer pouted as Blaine boosted him out of the car because Hunter had gotten in more kills than he had. "Daddy, he killed me most!" He whined to Blaine, who gave him a wounded look and a kiss to his nose.

"Did he? Daddys going to miss his Archer." Resting Archer on his shoulder, Blaine looked around for a quick ride they could do before they went to dinner, and he took a step toward the ride with the spinning tea cups. It looked like a very short ride, which would give them plenty of time to relax at dinner, and then time for a few rides after dinner before the babies wore out again. "Arch, honey, you want to get in a tea cup? Those are the Mad Hatters tea cups. Hell pour tea on you and drink you up!"

Archers eyes widened to the size of saucers, "But Im not yummy! See!" He shoved his arm into Blaines face, wanting him to taste him, so Blaine playfully nibbled on him and groaned as if hed just eaten a delicious snack. "Oh, no! Im yummy!"

Blaine took his son onto the ride, knowing he was dreading it by the way he looked up at the sky, just waiting for the tea to rain down on him. But he looked back down when they started spinning in a circle, and he screamed at Hunter, who was holding onto the wheel in the middle of the tea cup and twisting it as fast as he could. Archer threw his own hands onto it, and he tried turning it the other way, which made the ride very rocky. Blaine was just glad that they had gone on this before dinner.

Another ride, once again, turned into a competition between the babies as they spun the tea cup this way and that, never staying one way. When Blaine leaned back and closed his eyes, just waiting for the tea cups to stop spinning, Kurt giggled at him and gave him a hug as if he could tell that Blaines stomach was suffering. As soon as the tea cups started to slow down and the babies lost control of the wheel, they bounced up and down, and Archer whacked Blaines chest a few times, "Again! Again!"

Blaine wondered if dinner sounded so good now. "I never want to see another tea cup again." He mumbled, collecting one baby while Keegan took the other. Kurt skipped out of the cup and cooed over Hunter, who certainly didnt mind the affection. Taking his time with getting out of the cup because his stomach was still upside down, Blaine reached out for his husband and put his hand at his waist.

Hunter, who had been watching where Blaine had put his hand, suddenly looked over at Archer and reached for him. He touched his hip, which was as far as his hand would stretch to, and he smiled, "We look like Daddy and Père, Archer!"

"Yay!" Archer clapped his hands, making his parents grin at how sweet he was.

The walk over to the Rainforest Cafe didnt take very long, and when they got there, Blaines mouth watered because he could smell the warm food. Archer and Hunter delighted in walking through the rainforest, pointing out the monkeys hanging from the ceiling and the birds sitting on their branches. A burst of thunder startled them, though, and Archer hid his face in Blaines neck. "Daddy will keep you safe, sweetheart." Blaine assured his son, and after Archer reappeared with huge eyes, he walked over to the podium and asked for a table.

They were led back to a table in the middle of the restaurant, just underneath a giant gorilla that banged his fists on the ground every few seconds. The babies kept looking back at him, trying to figure out if they were doomed to be squished under those big fists. A waiter came by to take their orders, and after he left again, Blaine turned to his children because theyd been patting his arm. Both of them were looking up, so he followed their intent gazes, but he saw nothing. "What is it, honeys?"

Archer finally looked back down, then to each side of the restaurant, "Is this where Tarzan lives?" Glancing back up at the ceiling, he said, "Is he swinging around, Daddy? Do you think the gorilla will tell me?"

Blaine smiled at his son, "I dont know, baby. He could be at his tree house right now... Jane probably called him back for dinner."

Archer frowned as he considered that, then he scooted a little closer to Blaine and reached for his hand, "Do you think the kitty who gave him bad scratches is here?"

Wrapping his arms around his son, Blaine hushed him with a few kisses, "No, honey, the kitty wont hurt you. Daddy would never let that mean cat hurt you." He calmed Archer down enough to get him to eat a few bites of his sandwich, and, luckily, the chocolate pudding with gummy worms stuck in it was distracting enough from his fear of the bad kitty. After his children had sucked up all the worms and had smeared their faces in chocolate, they hopped from their chairs and ran around just a few inches in front of Blaine, who was right on their heels.

He let them chase each other around until they got out of the restaurant and back into the crowd, and he bent to scoop both of them up. Their eyes were drooping a little more than they had before they ate dinner, so Blaine decided that just a couple of very gentle rides would put them to sleep for the night. They wandered around for a few minutes before Kurt pointed out Dumbo, and both of the babies grinned and batted their fists at the many flying elephants. There were only a few children in front of them, so it didnt take long to get on the ride. Keegan waited off to the side while Blaine took Archer into an elephant with a pink hat and Kurt carried Hunter to the one in front of them, an elephant with a blue hat.

As they lifted from the ground, Hunter twisted around and waved at Archer, and Archer happily blew him a kiss. "Hi, Hunner!" He cooed, then turned to the side of his elephant, looking down at the ground below. "Daddy, higher! Dumbo says he wants to go higher."

Blaine grabbed the shift to make them lower and higher, and he put Archers hand on it. "Here, sweetheart. Make Dumbo go as high as you want." As Dumbo got higher and higher, Archer squealed with glee, which got the attention of Kurt and Hunter. Both of them turned around to see what all the fuss was about, and Hunter quickly made his elephant come up as high as Archers. Blaine rolled his eyes because, once again, they were competing with each other.

They both fussed when their elephants started lowering to the ground, and as soon as they were on the ground, Archer popped out and hurried over to Kurt, who giggled and gave him a hug. "Père, did you see how high up I was? Were you worried?"

Kurt laughed at Archer, flicking the tip of his nose, "I saw, my love! And, you know, I wasnt worried for a moment. I think Dumbo is very good at flying."

Hunter stuck his tongue out at Archer, "I was just as high up! Werent we, Père?" He took Kurts hand, so Archer reached up for Blaines hand and let him lead him back onto the walkway. When he finally noticed that the sky was getting hazy, Hunter stuck his bottom lip out and shuffled his feet, "Is it time to go to bed, Daddy? Im not sleepy!"

Blaine smiled at his son, reaching down to scrub his hair, "Im your dad. Do you think I cant tell when youre sleepy?" When Hunter made a face at him, Blaine gave him the same face, teasingly sticking his tongue out, "We can go on one more ride, and then we should go back to the hotel. We can put on one of your favorite movies... you can wear your pajamas with Tigger on them. Its not so bad, is it?"

Skipping after Blaine on his way over to Its a Small World, which he knew would put them out, Hunter almost knocked into the back of Blaines leg when he came to a sudden stop. Blaine reached back for Hunter, pulling him forward and holding onto him as they walked toward the boat for the ride. He could already hear the soft song playing, the quiet melody making Archer yawn. Blaine helped his children onto the boat, then his husband, and he sat down beside of Kurt, almost hanging into the water, while Keegan took the other end.

They glided through many bright colors and scenes, but his babies could hardly pay attention to any of it as they yawned, slowly getting lulled to sleep by the rocking of the boat. It didnt take long before Archer curled into his side and closed his eyes, and, moments after that, Hunters head knocked against Archers stomach. Blaine smiled at his snoozing children who had a very long day and were ready to sleep through the entire night. Picking them up with gentle hands, he kissed both of them and watched their heads loll against each other, Archers mop of curls falling over Hunters forehead. From beside of him, Kurt reached for his hand and squeezed, and Blaine glimpsed over at his husband. Kurt gave him the kindest smile, so Blaine leaned over and kissed him. Neither of them said anything, but Kurt was good at reading Blaines mind.