Oct. 4, 2014, 7 p.m.
Courage: Story of My Life
E - Words: 5,475 - Last Updated: Oct 04, 2014 Story: Complete - Chapters: 51/? - Created: Jul 19, 2014 - Updated: Jul 19, 2014 199 0 0 0 0
Blaine pushed his spoon in another circle around his bowl of soup, the noodles wrapping around the handle and then falling away, and then he picked it up again and slurped the steaming liquid. Swallowing thickly, Blaine winced at the burning in his throat, but then he scooped up another bite and stuck it into his mouth. He chewed up an especially long noodle, finally bringing his eyes up as he forced it down his throat. Across the table, Burt had has nose buried in a sports magazine and his mouth stuck on a burger, and beside of him, Kurt was blowing on a hot bite of soup before he poured it onto his tongue, and then he picked up his bowl, "Daddy, I finished my dinner. May I please go play now?" Burt, who had found a very intriguing article that hed been squinting his eyes at for the past ten minutes, grumbled something incoherent and nodded his head.
Grinning at his dads response, Kurt turned to Blaine as he started scooting off of his chair, "Blaine, are you ready to play?" His little mouth suddenly fell open, and he held up one finger to tell Blaine to wait, "I have something to show you! Stay here!" Watching Kurt scuttle out of the room on quick feet, Blaine raised his brows at the door that was swinging shut behind him. He turned back to Burt, who had finally moved from his very still position and was collecting the empty dishes, and he got nothing but a shrug out of him, showing him that he didnt have a clue what Kurt was up to.
He shifted his weight from thigh to thigh, moving around in his chair as he waited for Kurt to come back. Hearing thumping feet above him, Blaine turned his nose to the ceiling, trying to see through it so he could figure out what Kurt was getting into. After a few drawers slid open and shut, soft footsteps padded across the floor, and the kitchen door swung open again. In Kurts hands were a few sheets of paper, gold chains, and containers of paint. Blaine still felt just as clueless. Kurt ran back over to his side and sat down at the table, dropping his things to the wood with a thud. "My maman left these things for us! See? Its a present for you. Do you want to paint a picture?" He pushed a few sheets of paper in front of Blaine, then one of the containers of paint, and he took the gold chains for himself. "Paint me a pretty picture, okay?"
Twisting away from Blaine, he picked up a paintbrush and dipped it into the silver paint. Blaine eyed those little hands as they lowered to a golden heart that dangled from the chain, his brows furrowing at the way Kurt stroked small lines and curves onto the front of the locket. He looked back down at his blank sheets of paper, but had nothing to put on them, so he glanced back over at Kurt, whose pink tongue was stuck out in concentration. The tip of his nose was wrinkled, and his thin eyebrows were ruffled. Blaine loved looking at that little face as Kurt put all of his effort into painting the perfect shapes. The corners of Kurts lips flipped up when he finished something that must have been beautiful to him, and he went on to another shape that Blaine couldnt quite see from the position he was sitting in. His movements were so graceful, from his dancing fingertips to the way his palm rolled as he touched every inch of the heart.
Blaine finally turned his back on Kurt and considered that blank piece of paper, and he reached over for one of the brushes, even though he still wasnt sure what he was supposed to do with it. He decided to let his hand do as it pleased, so he dipped the brush into the white paint, and he laid it against the sheet. The bristles twirled around the paper as he idly dabbled with poking dots, but once he had tired of covering the paper in circles, he swiped the brush through the pink paint. Tracing the spots and connecting them with pink lines, Blaine flicked the brush back and forth, finishing the pink with a thin pair of lines that he doodled onto one of the white dots. He slid his hand back across the table and felt around for the brown, but instead of a cup of paint, his palm landed on top of something very silky and soft.
Jerking his head over to Kurt, who was staring at him with those big, blue eyes, Blaine gulped at the way he giggled behind that rosy lip that was caught between his teeth. Kurt collected some of the brown on his brush, then he leaned over to Blaine and playfully drew another freckle onto the tip of his nose. Without a word, Kurt laid his hand on the side of Blaines face and pressed a kiss to his cheek, then he whirled away and returned to his own painting. Looking back down at his paper, Blaine decided that his painting needed some blue, so he stole some from the cup and pressed the prickles to the blank area above those pink lines. "Pretty," he whispered, unaware that hed said anything out loud until he saw, from the corner of his eye, Kurt briefly flash his eyes over to him. A tiny hand reached over for his and squeezed, then it fell away as Kurt returned the brush to it.
Finished with the beautiful sketch hed put together, he considered the very empty space on either side of his pretty thing, and he frowned. He didnt want the little person to be lonesome, so he gathered more of the white and put together a much smaller person, and on the other side, he made another little person with darker skin, like his own. As he painted the little people, he made them stretch their hands up to the taller person, and then he drew smiles on both of them, because he knew that they couldnt hold his hands without smiling. Their faces came naturally to him, as if hed seen people like them before, one with freckles and one with a smirk. Putting the final dots on the page, Blaine pulled away from it and looked down at what hed done, but he was quickly distracted from his scribbles by a hand rubbing against his neck. His eyes flew open wide as arms looped around his neck, and then he turned them down to a heavy weight that fell against his chest. "I made you a necklace," Kurt peeped, sliding his hands down to Blaines shoulder. He held onto him tightly, looking at him with pride in his eyes as Blaine picked up the locket that swung between his collarbones. Reading the words as best he could when they were upside down, Blaine squinted his eyes and finally made out those swirly letters that said Ill love you forever and ever. Flipping open the locket, Blaine grinned at a small picture of him and Kurt resting in Elizabeths arms. Elizabeth was smiling like she was the happiest woman in the world, and Kurt was sticking his tongue out in a silly way that made Blaine chuckle, while Blaine had a small, crooked grin on hisface.
Blaines eyes flickered over to Kurts neck, and he was alarmed to see that nothing was there. Glimpsing down at the table for the other one, Blaine grabbed the necklace that had been abandoned there, and he thumbed at the clasp until the front flipped open. Inside was a picture of a pink cheeked baby who was bundled in a blue blanket, and beside of that was another picture of Kurt, who had hopped onto Blaines back. Snapping the locket shut when Kurt pawed at him because he was so excited to wear it, he took one of the cups of paint. He quickly wrote down a few words that were shakier than Kurts and slanted toward the bottom of the heart, and he handed it over to Kurt, who seemed pleased with it no matter how scratchy the words were. "Ill love you forever and always," he murmured, then he draped the necklace across Blaines knuckles. "Would you put it on me, please?" Blaine scooted toward Kurt and carefully hooked the necklace onto him, letting it fall to his shoulders. Kurt shivered at the cool weight that landed on his bare collarbones.
Smiling at the lovely necklace that glimmered against his pale skin, Kurt twisted this way and that, showing it off to Blaine. "I do like it very much. Thank you." He slid his arms around Blaine and laid his hands on his shoulder blades, giving him a gentle squeeze. "What did you paint?" Laying his hands on the edges of the paper, he lifted it to his pointy nose and scanned over the drawings. "Its me! And there are babies! That one looks like you." Touching the baby on the left, Kurt traced his fingertip over the light freckles that speckled his nose and cheeks. "But he has my blue eyes! And that one has your skin and eyes, but my smile!"
"Maybe one day theyll be our babies." Blaine mumbled, pushing his hand into his hair and tugging a few of the locks that curled around his fingers. "We could have boys one day... and they could look like you and me."
Kurts grin broadened, "I think they look sweet... like little darlings. If you and I had children that looked so wonderful, we would be very lucky parents." Suddenly, his mouth popped open in a perfect o, and he pointed at the one spot on the paper that hadnt been filled, "But where are you? I need to have my husband! And they need a daddy!" Picking up the brush again, Kurt coated it in brown and started on a large hand.
As he watched his hand get painted onto the paper, Blaine looked down at his rough fingers, and he moved them on top of Kurts. "What was your moms name before she married your dad?" He muttered, and Kurts shining eyes turned to him.
They crinkled at the corners, "Archer. Didnt she have a pretty name? Elizabeth Archer." Those blue eyes suddenly widened to the size of saucers, "But you know a name that Ive always loved? Hunter. My dad wanted to name me Hunter for the longest time! But my maman said that I wasnt a Hunter, so she named me Kurt. But I just adore the name Hunter... it makes me wonder what theyre hunting for."
Blaine ran his fingers over the two babies that were holding onto Kurt, and now him as Kurt peppered his face with the last freckle, "Archer and Hunter." He mumbled, tilting his head as he stared at those two babies, both of them smirking from ear to ear, so happy to be with Kurt and Blaine.
The last of the boxes that couldnt fit in their car that theyd driven home in had finally shipped from California, and as Kurt helped Keegan carry a few of them in, he looked down at their labels. He brought the ones for the bedrooms upstairs, where Blaine had spent his afternoon with Archer, who had woken from his nap in a fit, screaming and fussing and kicking his blankets to the floor. After hed calmed Archer down with a few soft pleas and several kisses, Blaine had held Archer against his chest and hummed very quietly to him, stroking his hair and rubbing the tear streaks from his silver cheeks. Blaine had tried to come downstairs when the packages arrived so he could haul the heavier ones inside, but Archer had been clingy ever since hed opened his eyes, wrapping his fingers in Blaines shirt, looping his legs around his stomach, burrowing under his chin. Except for noisy hiccups and heaving breaths, Archer wouldnt open his mouth, but only replied with incoherent mumbles and garbles.
Kurt had left his baby in his husbands capable hands, even though Blaine looked absolutely lost as he bounced his baby and hushed his whimpering. Blaines eyes had been as wide as saucers, even though the rest of his face had been rumpled, his forehead wrinkled and his lips tight. As he looked into his husbands horrified face, he silently hoped that these nightmares that had plagued Blaine hadnt also infected Archer. Kurt probably would have had them, too, were it not for the sleepless nights he had as he protectively looked after his vulnerable husband. Blaine had been broken too many times to count. Kurt feared that one more hit would shatter him. With the last box brought upstairs, Kurt glanced down at the label, and he frowned because it belonged in the babys room. Padding over to the closed door, Kurt felt like he was intruding on something he wasnt supposed to see, but he turned the knob, anyway, and quietly swished inside.
On the bed was his husband, his body stiff against the headboard, and in his strong arms was a little baby who had curled so close to Blaine that Kurt had almost missed him. Blaine helplessly rocked his son back and forth, and with his other hand, he rubbed circles on Archers back. Realizing that his husband was so involved with their needy baby that his eyes had become blind and his ears had become deaf to every other sight and sound in the room, Kurt tried to sneak as silently as he could throughout the room, not wanting to disturb their baby who had finally settled down to a few sniffles every couple of seconds. His dimpled fingers still dug into Blaines arms, though, squeezing him tighter every now and then as if he feared that he would be abandoned.
Going over to the closet, Kurt pushed open the door, then he knelt by the box and tore it open. Inside were the babies clothes, Hunters beside of Archers, and his heart jumped at those longer and thinner clothes that a spiky haired head would never pop out of again. Pulling out Archers clothes but leaving Hunters within, Kurt set those aside when he noticed something that had a dull glow to it slide off of a few storybooks and land between the pages of a book that had fallen open. He furrowed his brows and reached inside, picking up a chain on the hook his finger made. He felt another and also grabbed that, and he pulled up what looked like two necklaces that had obviously aged and dusted. Some of the paint had worn off from the gold chain, and the lockets had rusted. On the fronts of both of the lockets were words, and even though some of the paint had chipped, he still made out what looked like promises of love.
He cracked open both of the lockets after a struggle to undo the clasps, and he gasped too loudly at the pictures within. The pictures had faded in color, but Kurt still smiled at how silly Blaine and Kurt looked in their pictures, and he felt his eyes become wet as he looked at his mom, who was holding them so close. She had probably been about thirty in the picture, while he was twenty, and he thought about how much he looked like her. Her hair had been longer and her chin had been rounder, but they looked just alike, more so as he aged. Reaching back in the box for other interesting things from his childhood, Kurt found a sheet of paper, and he withdrew it. The corners had curled and the paper had yellowed, but on it was a perfect family. Except for a few differences like bigger cheeks, longer legs, and wider hips, Blaine had come up with the family they would soon have, and Kurt didnt know how, but he accepted that Blaine had always wanted children that had pieces of both of them.
Taking his things with him, Kurt boosted himself to his feet and slowly approached the bed. He sat down on the edge, finally getting the attention of Blaine, who looked over at him with the most worried of eyes. The corners were wet, just as Kurts often were, but when he blinked, the moisture disappeared. "What is it, honey?" Blaine mumbled quietly, his eyes lowering to the items in Kurts palms. "Is everything okay?" When Archer squeaked and turned his head into Blaines shirt, Blaine tightened his grip and bounced him again. "Shh... Daddys here."
Kurt reached over for Archer and touched his shoulder, making Archer squirm back around to face him. Keeping his cheek on Blaines chest, Archer finally let go of Blaines shirt and held his hands out for what Kurt had. "Do you want to see, Archer?" Laying the necklaces in Archers tiny fists, Kurt smiled as he squeezed them. "Do you like those? See? Your daddy and I made these when we were young. Do you see what they say? Ill love you forever and ever, and Ill love you forever and always." He opened both of the lockets and showed Archer the pictures within, and he smiled as Archer leaned closer so he could get a better look. Putting the paper in front of him, Kurt whispered, "Your daddy drew this when he was only young. That baby looks like you, doesnt he? Your daddy knew he wanted you before he even had you."
Archer pulled the picture closer to himself and hugged it to his chest, then he held the necklaces up to his neck, as if just pinning them to his skin would make them stay there. "Do you want to wear those?" Kurt asked, taking the necklaces back and sliding the lockets to the ends of the chains. After he unhooked the lockets, he swung the clasp to Archers necklace around and undid it. He put the new lockets onto the chain of his necklace, and they dropped beside of the locket he already wore. Archer slapped his hand over his new jewelry, and then he twisted around to Blaine and showed them off to him.
Pinching the lockets between his fingers, Blaine gave Archer a gentle smile, and then he kissed his cheek, "I like them, baby." He turned his sad gaze up to Kurts face, and he pushed his mouth to one side of his face, "Where did you get these? I... I remember them. I just cant... cant believe you kept them. My dad..." his voice faded away as he thought of the day theyd been separated, and he shook his head. "My dad ripped mine off of me... he threw it down. I thought you wouldnt find it."
Kurt shook his head, still as surprised as Blaine, when he couldnt even remember packing them during the several moves theyd been through. Keegan must have been the one to find them and pack them away each time. Turning back to Archers necklace, Kurt lifted those precious lockets and said, "I was so upset... so upset that I had lost you. I couldnt even bear to look at mine, so I must have put them in a box. I havent thought of them in years." Running his fingers through Archers curls, Kurt bent for a soft kiss, "Take good care of these, okay, sweetheart? These were from when your daddy and I were as little as you are."
Archer pulled the lockets up to his face and he pressed a kiss to them, making a smile pull at the corners of Blaines mouth for the first time since Hunters death. Hugging his son closer to himself, Blaine held his other arm out for Kurt, snaking it around his waist and tugging him to the other side of his chest. Kurt tucked himself under his husbands chin, feeling his warm breath blowing his hair. Blaine pressed kisses to both of their cheeks, "Beauties... we m-may not have our Hunter right now, but we can still be a family... just the three of us. I promise, Archer, youll always have your daddy and père." He kissed Kurts chin, getting closer to his mouth, so Kurt turned his head down so he could reach his lips. "And youll always have your son and husband. I wont let anything take us away from each other."
Lifting his head and letting his curls swing around his neck, Archer kissed both of his parents, who held him much tighter, trying to imagine that they had two babies in their arms.
Hunter remembered a time when he was only an infant that he loved watching his daddy. On days when they got to stay home, he was usually laid down on a warm blanket that had been spread across the floor with Archer squished to his side. Hunter looked forward to the days when he was pulled out of the bath and dressed, then taken downstairs only to find that his favorite cartoons were playing and he would be able to lounge on that blanket. When he was an infant, he wasnt able to do much except lift his chin, bat his hands, and kick his feet, and, on a good day, he could roll himself over. Most of the time he got so excited about his new ability to roll around that he would keep rolling until he landed on top of Archer, who would then fuss at him and squabble in his ear until he moved. Even though Hunter had often gotten on Archers bad side with pushing himself up on his hands and knees and then tumbling over onto him, and managing to sit up and then falling over on top of him, he was still very proud of himself, and knew his parents were just as proud by the way they would clap for him and encourage him.
His père seemed to be the most enthusiastic about his accomplishments, giggling with happiness as Hunter crawled into his lap, and lavishing him with kisses the first time hed gotten through a meal without repainting the walls with whatever he was having to eat. His daddy had celebrated with crooked smiles, and a few hugs, and a couple of quiet words of praise, but it had always meant everything to Hunter. His daddys quiet presence in Hunters life had kept him strong, because he could tell there was something strong about his daddy. When he had first started walking, hed stumbled and tipped over, but his daddys hard hands had quickly wrapped around his, keeping him from falling. Hed held onto him until Hunter had his footing, and then hed knelt in front of him. Those powerful, big arms had spread, beckoning Hunter over to him, and Hunter had toddled over to him, ending up against his chest as he was squeezed in a gentle hug.
On those days when Hunter was left on his blanket, he waited for the footsteps of his daddy, so different from the way his père went from room to room, like a floating butterfly. Hunter always loved seeing his père because it meant he would soon be kissed and cuddled, but he could never predict his daddy. As soon as his broad body appeared in the doorway, Hunter could feel the biggest grin tugging at his lips, even if he didnt mean to smile. He sometimes tried to mock his daddy, pushing out his jaw to make it look more chiseled, and holding up his arms to see if his scrawny arms had gained any muscle overnight. He loved how strong his daddy was, because when he rested in his arms, he felt like nothing could hurt him. One day, he wanted to be just like his daddy, to be brave and tough and fearless.
Now, as he was tied to a bedpost, he realized that the person he lived with now wasnt like his daddy, didnt want him to be capable of moving around. But, Hunter, who had spent many hours learning how to walk tall like his daddy, couldnt be pinned down by a selfish man who wanted to keep him from the very thing that had helped him up when he fell down. Determined to free himself of these chains, both the tape and Karofsky, Hunter spread his lips just enough to bite the inside of the tape. An awful taste spread over his tongue and made him recoil, spitting and hacking like a cat that had its tail pulled, but he still forced himself to bite down again and chew through the sticky glue. Opening his mouth wider, he bent over one of his wrists and ripped through the paper, then he used his free hand to unwrap his other. He tore the rest of the tape off his mouth and winced as it pulled the fuzzy hair around his lips. He rubbed the indentations the tight tape had left, then he shook himself off and stretched out his stiff muscles. As he worked out his soreness, he leaned forward, making his necklace slide out from under his shirt, then slap against his chest again.
Crawling to the middle of the floor, Hunter sat down by his teddy, which he picked up and held tightly to his chest. He wondered if Archer missed their teddy, Keegan, and part of him felt bad that he hadnt dropped him on the way out the door, but he was still glad to have him there. Very soon, he assured himself he would restore the teddy to Archer. Taking his teddy over to the bed, Hunter picked up his notebook and pencil, and he opened to the next page. As he stared at that blank page that he could put anything on, his mind went back to Karofsky, who he knew now that he couldnt frustrate. With that off of his list of things he could do to escape, he looked down at his arms and legs, which still showed the wear and tear of what Karofsky had put him through. Pulling his shirt over his head, Hunter put it aside and looked down at his stomach, which caved in. The lines of his ribs pressed against his skin, sticking out farther than usual. He had always been skinny, as his daddy had told him, no matter how much he was fed, but over the past few days of limited eating, he certainly hadnt gained any weight.
He shoved his pants down his thighs and stared at his bony legs, all the way up to the area between his legs. A fingerlike object hung limply against one of his thighs, and a small mound of skin enveloped the base of the shaft. Wondering if he was normal, if every man had one of these-at least, Karofsky seemed aware of it because he kept touching Hunter there, he got to his feet and walked out of the room, keeping his notebook at his side. He went into the bathroom and flipped on the light, then he looked at himself in the mirror. The object was very tan, a shade darker than the rest of his skin. Letting his eyes drift up to his chest, he paused at his red nipples. His necklace hung between the two points, and it covered a dark bruise that had swelled and had started to turn green at the edges. He held up his notebook again and started drawing his body, which Karofsky seemed obsessed with touching, even though he didnt understand why.
With his free hand, he reached down to that fingerlike thing between his legs, and he grabbed it in a tight fist, rubbing it the exact way Karofsky did. As he kept stroking, he found himself in a deep distraction over it because he wanted to know what drew Karofsky to this thing, but couldnt figure out what. Only when a dark shadow appeared in the doorway did Hunter snap his eyes over to Karofsky, whose eyes were as glassy as Hunters. He mumbled something that Hunter didnt understand, and even though Karofsky had always sounded crazy, he wasnt even making real sentences now. Furrowing his brows at Karofsky as those blank eyes traced over his naked body, Hunter gasped when Karofsky staggered over to him. "Fuck you..." he mumbled, reaching out for Hunter and pulling him close. His lips were covered in a cold kiss, and Hunter tasted something sour that made him shrink away, but he accidentally jerked toward that sweaty body when Karofskys hand slid across his bottom and cut through the line between his cheeks.
A meaty finger plunged into his hole, making him cry out, and he shoved against Karofsky as those lips traced patterns down his skin, over his thin stomach, and down to that object. He took it into his mouth, suckling so firmly that there was no way for Hunter to yank away. Shocked that Karofsky had forgotten about the punishment hed given Hunter earlier, Hunter wondered what had happened to change him into having a gentler touch on Hunters sensitive skin that was still healing from his past beatings. Karofsky boosted Hunter into the air and wrapped his legs around his chest, then he carried him out of the bathroom and laid him down on the bed. Hot breath blew onto Hunters face, giving him a whiff of something so bitter that he coughed. His chest seized up in rejection of the odor that filled his lungs, and his stomach tightened as Karofsky clumsily unzipped his pants, taking several times to get the zipper down. As soon as he did, he reached inside and fished out a damp object that was like Hunters, and he pushed it against Hunters bottom.
Screaming as that big object slammed into his tiny hole, stretching out his tight walls, Hunter felt tears prick the corners of his eyes. A sharp ache burned the inside of his bottom, and his chest heaved, his lungs sucking in so much of that rotten air that he couldnt decide if he wanted to keep breathing because it seemed to ease his pain, or hold his breath and just suffocate. After all, his daddy wouldnt want a tainted baby-Archer certainly wasnt tainted-and hed always said that he wanted a good baby, which Hunter decided that he certainly wasnt.
The shock of a slap across his face was enough to pull Hunter from his thoughts, and he heard Karofsky hiss between his heavy breaths as he wore himself out over pushing in and out of Hunter, "Tell me you love me, you bitch. You feisty bitch."
He especially wasnt a good baby as he betrayed his family, but he knew that he had to appease Karofsky or else he could do something even worse to make it impossible for Hunter to escape. "I love you." He whispered, and the pounding became much harder, much faster, and Hunter heard the bed slam into the wall. The harsh noise in Hunters alert ears sounded like the earth coming down around him.
Kissing Hunter again with a pair of slimy lips, Karofsky begged of him, "Tell me you love me more than anything. Youll never leave me. S-Shit... Hunter, youre so beautiful. Im going to come." That time, Hunter got by with not saying a word, which he was relieved about because he refused to let those words come from his mouth, when he loved many things more than Karofsky, because Karofskys mouth suddenly fell open and his eyes widened to the size of saucers. His mind seemed to go somewhere else that Hunter wasnt allowed. As hed done before, Karofsky shot liquid out of that object and into Hunters bottom, some of it dripping onto his thighs and making a warm, runny mess. Flinching at the white liquid that reminded Hunter of spoiled milk, Hunter shifted his weight and tried to rub most of it onto the sheets, but it just kept spreading.
Karofsky, so exhausted from a long day, couldnt move another inch and collapsed on top of Hunter, crushing him under his heavy weight. Realizing that the mess would dry on him and he wouldnt be able to clean up and he would be stuck like this, with limited air coming to his lungs because of the massive body that had squished his chest, Hunter closed his eyes and simply decided to go to sleep with Karofsky. He wondered if his limited air intake would kill him before he opened his eyes again. Hopefully, because he didnt know if he could take looking into Karofskys brown eyes that were just like his even one more time and see his reflection in them. He was so disappointed that Archer would never see his teddy bear again, and it was all his fault.