I'll stand on my tippy toes and kiss you on the chin
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I'll stand on my tippy toes and kiss you on the chin: The letters of a lost love


T - Words: 1,012 - Last Updated: Mar 06, 2013
Story: Closed - Chapters: 13/? - Created: Nov 19, 2012 - Updated: Mar 06, 2013
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Author's Notes: I'm sorry?

It was a sunny day in Ohio, but Blaine could only see darkness. People in dark clothes were a blur in his mind and even the bright reds and yellows of the scattered roses held nothing but a faint hint of happiness now demolished into black. He could feel hands on his body; his arms, face and his own hands, he could feel the tears making their wet tracks down his cheeks and could hear the distant sound of crying but Blaine wasn't there. His body was there sure, but his mind, his soul, his heart, they were gone forever.

Sometime later Blaine found himself walking up the flight of stairs to their apartment supported by Puck. He was only aware of his surroundings when he was lowered onto their bed and heard the shuffle of feet and the sound of a door closing. Blaine was thankful for the silence the bedroom offered. But it didn't feel right. This was once a place of happiness and love, but not anymore and it could never be again. This was once a sanctuary and now it wasn't. Blaine was confused and did not know what to do with this sudden realisation. So he slept as tears silently spilled from his eyes.

I'm so sorry to tell you this Mr and Mr Hummel- Anderson, but it's not good news.

Cancer

No known cure

3 months 

Blaine woke with a start, the images of a smiling face and blue ocean eyes slipping out of his hands into the darkness faded fast and dissolved into a hazy memory. It was three days of the same routine; cry, sleep, cry, sleep before Blaine broke out of his daze. Sadness was taken over by anger as flashes of his Kurt filled his mind. Blood seeping from his mouth, skin as white as chalk, a choked goodbye. Blaine pulled himself out of bed and grabbed the first thing he could, the bedside lamp, and threw it against the bedroom door, smashing into a million pieces, not unlike his own heart had. His screams of why's filled the apartment as items flew around the room. Dresser drawers were opened and pulled out, mirrors were smashed and the bed sheets were ripped. It wasn't until Blaine accidentally broke a framed photo of him and Kurt did he stop and looked around the room. Blaine held the broken frame in his hands, not caring that the glass cut into his palm. He sunk to his knees clutching the photo like a lifeline and screamed one final plead before hugging his knees close and sobbing. 

It could have been minutes or hours later when Blaine extracted himself from the floor. He walked around the bed near the wardrobe when he spotted a familair navy blue blazer with red piping. Blaine never knew how Kurt managed to keep his Dalton blazer but it didn't matter at that moment, as Blaine picked the item off the floor and draped in around his shoulders and nuzzling his face into the fabric trying desperately to smell any faint hint of Kurt.

His hands somehow made their way into the pockets of the blazer where Blaine felt a touch within the right side pocket. He extracted a small white envelope with a single name written on the front in familar neat writing Blaine.

Blaine sunk to the floor once again and gripped the envelope hard, crinkling the paper as he made sure Kurt's blazer was sercure around his fragile frame. Tears made their way down their known paths as Blaine opened the envelope and withdrew two pieces of paper with shaky hands.

He opened the first note which was covered in neat writing.

My dearest Blaine,

Everyone is so scared of death aren't they? But I don't really think it's death that's scary. I think it's the fear of the unknown. When we found out about the cancer, I was scared. But I wasn't scared for me, sweetheart I was scared for you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I had to leave you. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me Blaine Hummel- Anderson and I am so grateful that I could spend my whole life with you. 

Before I met you beautiful, I didn't know how long I could last. I was verging on something really horrible to even think about and I silently thank you everyday Blaine, for saving me. The happiest day of my life was the one when you placed that beautiful ring on my finger and told me I was yours, and you were mine forever.

I know that the end for me is inevitable. I have accepted it and hopefully one day you will too.

Everything will be okay, my love, I promise.

Even though I am no longer living, that doesn't me you aren't too Blaine. Live life. I once told you I was never saying goodbye to you. And baby I intend to keep that promise. But until that faithful day we will meet again and I get the privlliege to meet you again and see your beautiful face and smile that melts my heart, you have to move on honey. That doesn't mean you have to forget it just means you have to forgive.

When it is time to meet again, my beautiful, just look for me in roses.

All my love~ Kurt Elizabeth Hummel- Anderson 

 

The paper fluttered to the floor as Blaine shook with the power of the sobs that filled his body. His body still ached for something, his heart was missing like a puzzle piece lost in the mess of toys. But somehow he felt lighter.

Drowsiness once again grabbed him like a vice as Blaine curled in on himself and hugged Kurt's blazer like the real thing was still in his arms, warm and real and alive. Just as sleep enetered his body, the second piece of paper caught his eye and the memory burned into his brain as his eyelids closed.

A red heart with two names promising a life of love.

For the first time in days, Blaine slept with a small smile on his face and a heart that was starting to mend. 

 

End Notes: Thanks for reading! xx

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