"Kurt knocked on the front door of Brittany's house, the fingers of his other hand lazily tangled with Blaine's.

"Why're we here again?" Blaine grinned. He just liked making Kurt say it.

"Because Brittany wants us to be on an episode of 'Fondue for Two'," Kurt replied.

"On and episode of what?" Blaine's amusement was evident in his voice. Kurt sighed. His boyfriend was far too easily entertained.

"Fondue for Two, Blaine. Fondue for Two." A second later, the door was opened, revealing Brittany practically bouncing with excitement. She had her hair down and was wearing a shirt with little dolphins printed on. Stepping inside, Kurt remembered the comment she made about dolphins being gay sharks over a year previously. How fitting.

She led them up the stairs and into her bedroom. The wall opposite them was overflowing with pictures of Brittany with various people. Kurt could see that, on some of them, she'd simply taped her face over someone else's. This was most prominent on the picture of her supposedly meeting Barack Obama. Kurt decided not to ask. He glanced at Blaine to see he was equally bemused.

"Okay, so go sit down, I've just got to warm up before I go on camera." She gestured towards two chairs behind a table that was all set up with fondue and various things to dip in it. This time, it was chocolate fondue.

Brittany suddenly began flailing her arms in every direction, planting her feet a fair distance apart on the floor and bending her knees. Kurt had thought she'd meant warm up her voice or something. He worried about this girl sometimes. For fear of getting hit by a stray hand, Kurt and Blaine crossed the room quickly.

They got to the chairs only to find a massive ball of fur splayed over one of them. Kurt smiled; it'd been a while since he'd seen Lord Tubbington. He was rather fond of Brittany's chubby cat - as long as he didn't get too many hairs on his clothes. He picked the cat up, sat down on the chair, setting Lord Tubbington in his lap, and immediately began fussing over him, scratching between his ears and cooing.

Blaine was less happy to see the cat.

"What is that?" He asked, perching on the other chair, as far away as possible from the animal without falling onto the floor. Kurt looked up, his brows furrowed.

"This adorable little ball of fuzz is Lord Tubbington," he looked back to the cat, "And you're lovely aren't you? You're just a harmless lazy kitty, right Tubby?" Blaine looked a mixture of disgusted and scared. Kurt sighed.

"Just come and stroke him, Blaine, he isn't going to eat you. You wouldn't taste brilliant anyway, with all that gel you put in your hair." Kurt smirked. Blaine sniffed and leaned away.

"Well I've never heard you complaining…and anyway, I'd rather not. Cats aren't really my thing. They just roam about everywhere and hide and kill poor little defenceless animals and bring them to you as if you say 'look, this is what happens when you anger me, now get me some cat food before it's too late'. And they have fleas." Kurt was smiling. He was used to his boyfriend having weird aversions to things, so he decided to just go back to fussing over Lord Tubbington.

A few moments passed where the only sounds in the room were Kurt's gentle murmurs to the cat and Brittany blowing raspberries from across the room.

"Kurt," Blaine hissed, but Kurt didn't seem to hear him.

"Kurt!" He whispered a little more urgently. Kurt looked at him, slightly exasperated.

"What is it, Blaine?" He asked.

"The beast's looking at me." Kurt couldn't help but laugh.

"Blaine, he isn't even looking anywhere near you. In fact, he's looking the other way."

"No, Kurt, that's where you're wrong, because every time I move, it's ears prick up." He pointed at said ears accusingly for emphasis. Kurt quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Look, look, I'll show you. Make sure it's looking over there." Kurt, humouring him slightly, took Lord Tubbington's chin between his fingers, making sure he was looking at the wall opposite.

"Right, now watch the ears, watch them." Blaine moved exaggeratedly in his seat, and sure enough, the cat's ears twitched and perked up. Blaine shifted uncomfortably. The effect this had made on Kurt, however, wasn't the one Blaine had wanted.

"How can you see all the way back there, hmm? Oh you're a clever cat, that's how. Clever, clever Lord Tubby." Blaine's shoulders drooped. Why was his boyfriend giving all his attention to a stupid cat anyway? He felt as though he was being replaced by a probably-disease-carrying pile of fuzz. And then he felt even worse because he was getting jealous of a cat for goodness sakes, a cat.

Luckily for Blaine, before he could sink and lower into the (fairly literal) claws of jealousy, Brittany bounded over, her strange warming up obviously finished. She smiled widely, looking down at Lord Tubbington.

"Ahh, Lord Tubbington always liked you, Kurt, didn't you, eh? He asks about you sometimes…" Blaine would've been annoyed by her joining in lavishing the monster with attention if it wasn't for the fact that she plucked it from Kurt's lap, sat down and put it on hers instead.

Blaine immediately scooted as close to Kurt as he could and grabbed his hand, wrinkling his nose slightly when he felt a few stray cat hairs on his fingers. He sincerely hoped Kurt wouldn't smell like cats later.

"So guys, are you ready to start filming?" Brittany beamed, setting the cat down and pulling out a black remote from her pocket.

"As ready as we'll ever be," replied Kurt, taking a deep breath before touching a hand to his hair to make sure it was all in place. Brittany stared at the remote control hard for a second, her tongue poking out from between her lips before pointing it at the camera set up a short distance away and pressing a button triumphantly. A red light lit up and she cleared her throat.

"Hello and welcome to this week's Fondue for Two. On the show we have the hottest new couple Kurt Hummel and Blaine Warbler and-"

"Anderson."

"What?"

"It's Anderson, not Warbler. Blaine Anderson." Brittany stared at Blaine for a second.

"That makes on sense…" she muttered. Kurt rolled his eyes.

"And shouldn't it be Fondue for Three since there are three of us?"

"Why does everyone keep saying that? Not for you, no. See because you're a hobbit you don't count as a proper person." Blaine's eyebrows shot up and he hastily reached for some fondue, dipping a grape rather violently into the melted chocolate. Kurt stifled a giggle.

"Anyway, onto the first and most important question. Blaine, do you wanna make out with me?"

Blaine choked on the bite he'd just taken.