Blaine sat alone in the coffee shop nursing his coffee. Most days the calm aroma of coffee and the Lima Bean was enough to calm him down, but today it just couldn’t seem to work its magic. All around him he saw happy couples or people who obviously like each other flirt casually. It’s not fair. All Blaine wants is Kurt. He just wished that Kurt would like him back. Fat chance of that, why would Kurt want to be with a bushy curly haired guy with triangle eyebrows and is a complete fuck up. He sighed to himself sadly. Looking around he was getting ready to leave when he spotted recognised someone sitting at the back of the coffee shop reading a book, “Sebastian?” He whispered to himself. They guy must have heard though because he looked up and his eyes widened.
“Omg Blaine? Is that really you?” Sebastian said with a smile,
“Fraid so.” He said with a shrug of his shoulder and laughed. “How have you been? I haven’t seen you or spoke to you since your parents moved to France.
“I am doing well. I attend school out there and graduated last year. We came back as my grandfather has gotten Ill.” Sebastian sighed sadly. “So what about you? That doesn’t look like the Westerville high uniform? As much as I can remember they did not have one. Where are you going now?” Sebastian asked,
“Oh I go to Dalton now. Things got bad back at Westerville high. Tyler spread around about me being gay and well yeah you can guess the rest.” Sebastian hissed in anger.
“That little shit! No one deserves to be outed like that!” he said his eyes going hard. Blaine knew why this affected him so much as it was Sebastian’s brother who outed him to his entire family four years ago at Christmas while he was drunk. Spoke in great detail of how he found Sebastian and Simon making out on the sofa which his grandparents where sitting on. Sebastian had never been the same since. He hardly ever spoke to his brother these days only when necessary and his father casted him away like trash. It kind of reminded Blaine of his own father. It is weird what some people have in common Blaine thought to him.
“Well you don’t need to worry about Tyler anymore.” Blaine said shrugging his shoulders. He generally did this when he was nervous or agitated or just uncomfortable.
“Why?”
“He killed himself a couple of days later after an attack which a couple of jocks and he did to my friend and I. I made it barely but my friend died. I guess it was from guilt.” That silenced Sebastian. Raising his hand slightly, Sebastian rested his hand on top of Blaine’s smiling at the tingly feeling he got and looked Blaine straight in the eye.
“You’re strong Blaine. I’m glad you made it. I’m Glad you haven’t changed.” Sebastian said in a soft voice. Blaine smiled and blushed slightly. He sighed wishing Kurt would say that to him. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a bit of a commotion and could see someone run out of the coffee shop. Blaine recognised the hair but it couldn’t be Kurt. He was back at Dalton with David and Wes. How would he know where to find him anyway?
Kurt walked into the lima bean and spotted Blaine at the back, Just as he was about to walk up to him though, he noticed that Blaine was not alone. He was with another guy. Holding hands. Kurt felt like his heart had just shattered into a million pieces. He really thought Blaine may have like him back but clearly he didn’t. He realised what a fool he made out of himself and quickly left the lima bean knocking over a ladies coffee in his mad dash out. Driving back to Dalton he held his Tears in and ran into his room not feeling hungry. As soon as he was in the privacy of his own room he fell onto his bed and started sobbing. Not too loudly so that others could hear him but enough so that he could cry out his pain. He didn’t want to feel anything he wanted to be numb. So this is what a really heart ache feels like. Kurt hated it. Signing onto his laptop, Kurt remembered that his password was Blaine’s name and that made the tears fall down his face even faster and harder he signed onto his email and noticed that he had an email from an unknown address.
“Hey Fairy, How’s it going in that little Faggy land of yours at Dalton bet your getting loads of cock you little slut. Well just remember you loved mine the most. Didn’t you. I bet you just going round looking for someone who has a dick as nice as mine. Do you remember our little time in the Boys Locker room back at McKinley? Mmmmhhh I know that I do, I’m stroking myself to it now. How you begged for my dick and being the nice guy I am I gave it to you. You loved it didn’t you, you little Faggot. You can’t hide forever.
See you soon Hummel.”
The email made Kurt feel physically sick. He ran to his bathroom and hurled up the little content he had in his stomach. Dalton was supposed to be his safe haven, Kurt thought as he finished throwing up. How did he find me? I’m supposed to be safe here! Kurt threw up again crying faster. He hadn’t done it in a while but he needed some kind of release. He was fed up of being weak. He was fed up of being a victim and he was fed up of always being broken and used. Grabbing the razor Kurt made two quick long dashes over his wrist, regretting it instantly. Feeling the high was quick and he felt himself release all his anger but it still didn’t stop him from feeling so Crap. Wiping up his arm he put a bandage on it got dressed and went to bed. Tomorrow it was Thursday Just one more day then he has the road trip to look forward to. Suddenly his face drained. Blaine was going to be on that trip. He can’t really talk to Mercedes as she will be busy being all lovey dovey with David and Wes will be busy cracking jokes with Blaine. Blaine will probably talk about how great that guy who ever he was at the coffee shop is and Kurt will have to pretend to be happy not to make his friends suspect him. It shouldn’t be too hard. Kurt was used to pretending. His experiences at McKinley gave him that push. It had reached to the point where he didn’t know which was which anymore. That was until he met Blaine. Kurt lay there in Bed and Drifted slowly into a restless sleep.
Blaine got back from the coffee shop not too long after about 7. He was glad he got to talk to Sebastian again. They had been okay friends back when he was in Westerville high. He seemed okay and was moving on with his life. By the sounds of things he was here to help with his grandfather then move back to Paris. They had exchanged phone numbers and email addresses and parted ways. Opening up to Sebastian reminded him of what it was like when Kurt first opened up to him. He knew that there was more of a story and Kurt would tell him when he was good and ready. Blaine always smiled when he thought of the younger boy. Just as he got to his door, Blaine changed his mind and went into Kurt’s room hoping he was awake. When Blaine walked in there though, Kurt was asleep on his bed. There was something about the boy’s expression which saddened Blaine. Walking up to him Blaine gently stroked Kurt’s cheek so not to wake him, pausing when he felt it was damp with tears. Gently he kissed Kurt’s forehead and whispered, “I wish I could make the pain go away Kurt. I would do anything for you, I just wish I had enough courage to tell you that when your awake. “ He kissed Kurt’s head again and walked away whispering even quieter, “I love you.” And left closing the door gently watching the way Kurt’s face flinched slightly.
In Kurt’s dream, Karofsky was attempting to rape him again like he did back at McKinley. Most people thought he left because of the bullying. Well that is what his dad made him leave for. The bullying though soon escalated into sexual harassment which then led to Kurt’s self-harming and depression. This particular dream was back in the locker rooms. The email Karofsky had sent Kurt had brought back all the memories which Kurt had tried so hard to forget. Being shoved onto his knees, and being forced to do what Karofsky wanted Kurt cried to himself. It was not fair! He was sick of being weak. The next thing which happened didn’t surprise Kurt but still sent a cold shiver down his back. “Tell anyone about this and I will kill you! Understand?” Kurt nodded with tears in his eyes. The sharp slap which Karofsky gave him after that woke Kurt up abruptly. Hearing a gentle ‘I love you,’ coming from Blaine’s voice, Kurt cursed at his self-consciousness hating it for playing tricks of him. Showing him things he wanted so badly to forget and letting him hear things he so badly wanted to hear. “Fuck you” he muttered to himself going back to sleep hoping to hell, that he did not dream again.
David and Wes saw Blaine walking out of Kurt’s room.
“What you doing in there Blainey?” Wes said wiggling his eyebrows. Blaine to upset with the way Kurt looked in his sleep sighed,
“He was crying in his sleep. He is beautiful even when crying and the amount of pain I could see in his expression. It was too much. I wish he didn’t feel so much pain. Blaine said Sighing and walked into his own room, not bothering saying good night to David and Wes.
“What do you think is wrong with Kurtie?” Wes asked David.
“I don’t know Wes I wish I did though.” Looking at each other. Then at both Kurt and Blaine’s doors, they sighed in concern. This road trip could not come quick enough.