Chapter 9

He made a point of sitting on Blaine's lap when he returned, leaning against his chest and smiling up at him. He smiled back and kissed him softly.

"Do you think I'm boring?" Kurt blurted suddenly. Blaine tilted his head for a second.

"Are you kidding? You're the most interesting guy in all of the continental US." He insisted.

"I mean… sexually. I mean we're playing it really safe so far." He mumbled, inwardly questioning his sanity.

"I thought that's what you wanted?" Blaine asked, confused.

"It is, but, I mean, I'm just wondering, have you ever had the urge to… rip of each other's clothes and get dirty?" Kurt had officially lost control of his voice.

"Yeah, but that's why they invented masturbation." Blaine teased.

"Is it getting hot in here?" Kurt asked, pulling at the collar of his shirt.

"I'm serious. I want us to be comfortable when we do. That's why they give us the two months to get used to each other." Blaine smiled a little as Kurt sighed and curled into him. "And besides, tearing off all of you clothes is sorta a tall order."

"Because of the layers?" Kurt asked, smiling innocently.

"Because of the layers," he confirmed, kissing him firmly again.

A collective 'aww' interrupted them. Blaine smiled against Kurt's lips and pulled away, making Kurt pout.

Nick and Jeff laughed at them, and handed Kurt a box with wrapping paper and a huge bow on top. Blaine laughed and pulled the bow off, putting it on Kurt's head instead. That earned him an evil eye, but Kurt didn't take it off. He picked at the corner of the paper for a second before unfolding the paper carefully. He opened the box to find some chocolate, a deck of cards, and to his horror, several types of condoms.

"Guys!" he yelped. He hesitantly picked up a few of the boxes, scanning over them. "Chocolate flavored, ribbed, ultra thin, what is wrong with you?" he cried.

"What? We asked Blaine what you needed and he said to find something we thought you'd enjoy so…" Jeff trailed off. Kurt huffed and pushed the condom boxes behind him.

"And of course the chocolate is shaped like someone's privates." He mumbled to himself. "Do I even want to know what the cards are?" Blaine's chest rumbled with laughter behind him and he swiped the deck, unwrapping it and pulling out the cards.

"No, no you don't." he informed. That made Kurt curious. He snatched the cards from his hand and shuffled through them, eyes growing at what he saw.

Sex positions. Of course. Why was he not surprised? He put everything back in the box and shoved it behind him, trying not to blush.

"Didn't we agree not to torture the kid anymore?" Puck asked.

"Not my fault he's a prude." Nick shrugged. Blaine slapped him upside the head for Kurt while Puck slid his present across the circle.

Kurt pulled open the ties on the huge bag and peered into it. Inside were a bunch of wrapped squares. "Jesus Noah, what did you do?" he asked, incredulous. Puck just shrugged.

Kurt pulled out the wrapped up things, pushing the bag to the side. He unfolded the paper again, waiting until they were all open to look at them closely.

The first he saw had a picture of him on it. Some call it bitching was scrawled on the top, followed by a picture of Kurt with his best bitch face, and I call it motivational speaking on the bottom.

Blaine laughed at that one. Kurt set it aside and held up the next one. There was a picture of everyone in New Directions, including Mr. Shue, which he remembered they had bribed a cheerleader to take.

To the world you're just one person. But to one person, you're the world.

The next had a picture of Kurt with all the girls, minus Rachel, and said the gay guys really do get the girls. That made Kurt snicker.

Another had a picture of Kurt mid-dance, his name in lights behind him, and the date it had been taken. The bottom read I think I'm seeing the future.

Kurt gave Puck a funny look when he saw himself with slushie dripping off his face, until he saw the caption. I failed my way to success. He snickered and shook his head.

"Thank you Noah, this is really sweet." Kurt grinned, clambering across the circle to hug him.

"Yeah well, I figured it'd be nice to have some things to make this place feel like home. Mercedes helped me make them."

Kurt grinned at them again and went to sit by Blaine again.

"Me and Mike got you a gift together, we couldn't really think of anything good so…" Tina trailed off and passed Kurt a card.

"A year's subscription to Vogue." Kurt read. "Sweet, thanks!"

"Dude, you stole my idea!" Sam shouted. He slid his card over to Kurt as well.

"Subscription to… playgirl? Really?" Kurt blushed and shook his head slowly. "Thank you Sam… I think."

"Trust me, you'll be thanking me." Sam said, laughing.

Kurt rolled his eyes as Artie rolled over to him, passing him a rolled up poster and a few CDs.

"It's Adam Lambert." He explained. "I didn't really know what you'd want and I know you kinda have a crush on him so…" he trailed off at the evil, horrified look Kurt was giving him. Blaine glanced down at Kurt, silently raising an eyebrow.

"Sooo not talking about it." He insisted. Blaine rolled his eyes.

"Me next!" Quinn called, squirming a little. She handed Kurt a bunch of wrapped up rectangles. Kurt unwrapped them carefully and grinned.

"Cook books." He laughed, flipping through them quickly. "Thank you Q, these are awesome."

"Hey Porcelain, ours next." Santana said, snickering as Brittany pushed the bag over to him.

"We got the idea from your Gaga shirt." She explained. Kurt dug through the bag to find several white shirts, with different things written on them.

He unfolded each of them, every one making his eyes grow wider.

Swallows

Screamer

Needs a Spanking

Bondage

Flexible

And the most horrifying.

Fucks on cars

"Santana! What the hell?" he yelled.

"Kurt. Manners." Blaine chastised.

Kurt huffed but forced a smile and said, "thank you Santana." He shoved the shirts back in their bag and pushed it to the side.

"And we saved the best for last." Finn announced. Mercedes scrambled over to the TV and started fiddling with something as Finn continued. "We figured you'd want to remember all the good times, so me and Mercedes have been working like crazy and we cut together a bunch of clips from performances and home videos and stuff."

Everyone moved to sit in front of the TV, Kurt lying between Blaine's legs again with his head in his lap.

A Tribute to Kurt E. Hummel

Everyone's favorite ice queen 3

*break*

A shaky camera focused in on Kurt's face as he rolled his eyes and Mercedes' voice came from off camera. "I hate to say it honey but you've got the sex appeal of a baby penguin."

"What? I do not. I can be sexy; I just prefer not to be." Kurt snorted.

"Sure you don't."

Blaine laughed at that.

"What are you wearing?" Quinn asked, a little horrified. The camera spun to Kurt.

"A corset. What?" he added, looking around. "It brings out your figure."

*break*

"You smell homeless Bret. Homeless."

*break*

Music started up and the cheerleaders began dancing, Kurt and Mercedes strutting out onto the floor in their uniforms. Kurt dropped to the floor and back, dancing with Mercedes seductively, an edge of anger in his movements.

"Jesus…" Blaine murmured behind him.

Kurt sighed, staring at David Martinez. He and most of the girls leaned onto each other, practically panting.

"Kurt, you're drooling." Mercedes' voice pointed out. Kurt stopped fanning his face and rubbed at the corner of his mouth, pushing the camera down.

*break*

The boys hyped up on pseudoephedrine, singing their mash up.

*break*

"Coach Sylvester said I poop rainbow glitter." Kurt informed, making a face. "No idea how that came up or why."

"Well do you?" Mercedes asked. Kurt faced her, or more specifically the camera, and gave her a disbelieving look.

"Yes Mercedes. I crap out rainbows and sell them to little kids for their art projects." He snarked.

*break*

Kurt, Rachel, and Mercedes crawled across the stage at their disastrous performance of 'Push It', before the scene cut to him wiggling his hips like crazy.

Blaine shifted under Kurt. Kurt felt something poking the back of his head, but ignored it.

"Oh Bambi… I cried so hard when those hunters shot your mommy."

"Damn it 'Cedes, do you always have a camera on me or something?"

"Damn right I do!" Mercedes announced proudly.

"We love you Kurt!" everyone yelled into the camera before the screen went black.

"Aw, you guys, thank you." Kurt said, getting up again to hug his brother and best friend.

"Wait a second; Blainey didn't give you his gift!" Brittany exclaimed suddenly. All eyes turned to her before flicking over to Blaine.

He grinned and winked at Kurt before ducking into the other room, coming back with a smooth black box.

"You didn't have to get me anything." Kurt mumbled, blushing brightly. Blaine rolled his eyes and pulled Kurt over to sit on the couch, everyone following them.

"Open it." Blaine insisted when Kurt simply stared at the box. He rolled his eyes a little and unlatched the front, carefully lifting the lid up. He gasped. There, nestled in deep blue velvet, was a collar.

The thin, delicate chain rested inside, contrasting beautifully with its background. Several small, flat hearts dangled from the chain links.

When he looked closer, Kurt saw that each had something inscribed on it.

Beautiful

Strong

Amazing

Brave

Breath-taking

Angelic

And in the very center, a larger, rounded heart had his name on it. He turned it over carefully to see Blaine's on the back. Kurt didn't realize he was crying until Blaine's fingers gently wiped away the tears.

"Thank you." He murmured, running his fingers over the smooth surface.

He turned to Blaine and wrapped his arms around his middle, grinning like a fool.

"What?" He heard his friends demanding. "What is it?"

"'s my collar." He mumbled shyly. Mercedes was peering over his shoulder instantly.

"Oh, Kurt, it's gorgeous!" she praised. "Well, what are you waiting for? Put it on!"

Kurt chewed his lip for a second before glancing up at Blaine hopefully. Blaine just laughed and unlocked the strip of leather already on his neck, before he pulled the choker out of the case and looped it over his neck. The heart with his name rested heavily on the hollow of his throat, and it wasn't overly tight, but he could feel the cool metal no matter how he twisted his head.