September moved into October, which segued into November. Kurt continued to see Dr. Lopez. She was a no nonsense woman with a knack for making him deal with major issues in his life, as well as the minor ones. Today, Kurt had a major issue. "August. August was the last time he put it on me." He watched as his therapist's eyes went wide.

"You're kidding right! You guys haven't had sex in three months?" Kurt nodded. Every time he tried to initiate, Blaine shot him down. "How does that make you feel?"

There were a million feelings associated with Blaine's continuous rejections. Hurt. Anger. Confusion. There was one more prominent than the rest, however. "Unwanted. It makes me feel like he doesn't want me."

Dr. Lopez –'Dr. Lopez was my drunk uncle. Please call me Santana.'- scribbled on her notepad as he spoke. "It makes me feel like I'm disgusting and that he can't stand the thought of touching me."

Santana put her pen down and looked up at her patient. "You know that's not true, Kurt. Don't you?" The young man pulled a face and sank back into the couch. He didn't want to believe that it was true, but he wasn't sure. He and Blaine had come together when he was performing, so there was always the lingering doubt that the sexual nature of their relationship overshadowed the other aspects of their whirlwind romance. "Because I've only met him once, during that session we had where we brought your entire family in, and I can tell he loves you. He's just afraid."

Kurt threw his hands up. "Afraid of what? Afraid that I'm infected by something now.Henry," they were making headway with Kurt's acceptance of what happened to him in New Hampshire. He no longer referred to his attacker as 'that man' or 'he who shall not be mentioned'. "didn't rape me. He tried, very intently might I add, but he didn't get that far. I feel like Blaine doesn't get that so he looks at me like I'm this used thing."

Used and abused; thrown out with the trash. "You're seeing this from a very flawed point of view." Santana replied simply. Kurt's head was so far out in left field that he couldn't see what was right in front of him.No wonder he's so fucked up. Shut up, Snixx. That's completey unprofessional. The doctor shook her head, trying to drive her internal voice out. It was the voice that spurred actions and sarcastic comments with her friends and loved ones; she never used it around patients.

"I'm going to ask you a question."Oh, God. Not another question. She's going to ask me how my relationship is with Allah...or Lucifer. I can feel it. Shit. "I want you to answer honestly." Kurt nodded. He'd do his best. "In your first few weeks of performing, did you stay for the money or the attention you received?"

Kurt titled his head to the side. He had no idea what that had to do with anything. He wanted his boyfriend to want him again. In his eyes, what he once did for a living had nothing to do with that. "The money, of course. Dad and Mom were..." Santana held up a finger, effectively cutting the young man's sentence.The sooner he realizes what he's doing, the sooner he'll start to get better.

"So, despite being uncomfortable at first, you stayed for the money. The fact that these guys fawned over you meant nothing? The guys took time out of their schedules to accommodate you. They spent their hard earned money on you. That meant nothing?"

Kurt was confused. Did she want it to mean something? "Ummm..."

"What I'm trying to say is, you've mentioned a few times that it was nice to have people paying attention to you. With that being said, it's not hard to believe that you stayed for the attention as much as you stayed for the money. Sure, you needed money, but you also liked being fawned over. You liked the ego boost that these guys gave you. It's something that you never got from your mother."

It's something you never got from your mother. The words rang out in Kurt's head, bouncing off the various bumpers that his brain provided. "It sounds cliché, but I think you continued to perform because, on some level, the attention and devotion you got from those guys was like compensation for the fact that you never received any of that from the one person you were supposed to get it from; the one person that should have been biologically programed to give you each of those things."

Santana's words cut deep. Was hethatguy; the classic case person that sought out the love and affection of others because he didn't receive it in the one place he should have received it? He didn't have time to dwell on it, however, because the doctor was still speaking. "The way you kept that attention coming was by using your sexuality to keep them entertained. I think Blaine is afraid you're doing that with him and I don't think he wants that."

Skeptical, Kurt shook his head. "I don't think so. I mean, it kind of makes sense on a work level, but I would never do that to Blaine. I love him."

"Just like you loved David?" A low blow if Kurt ever felt one. "I'm not trying to hurt your feelings, Kurt. I'm trying to help you see that things aren't always as you perceive them. I'm also trying to figure out is if you see your relationship with Blaine the same way you saw your relationship with your customers or with David."

Kurt thought long and hard about the situation. Blaine was different from the start. Despite their beginnings, they were always on the same wavelength. They could speak two different languages and still understand one another. It was the way they were. David was different. David always seemed to be on a different page. He wanted when Kurt didn't and he took when Kurt wasn't ready to give. His customers were the same. The performer had to give them something in order to receive their love and affection. Blaine wanted for nothing. He gave and gave and then gave some more. He never wanted, he always gave. "No. Blaine and I are different." He finally answered, speaking in an absent tone.

The doctor nodded. She assumed as much. "You and Blaine seem to be different...in a good way. You each give what the other needs. That's what a healthy relationship is about. Now, from what we discussed in that group session, I sense that Blaine is afraid that you're going to start treating your relationship like you treated the other ones. He seems scared that you're going to start using sex to keep him around and to deal with whatever internal issues you're dealing with at that moment. I don't think he wants that and I don't think you want that either."

The clouds opened up and Kurt finally saw the light. He had used sex and its appeal to fuel his past relationships. Of course he didn't want that with Blaine. He didn't want to taint their relationship. "I'm not looking to do that. I just want the connection we used to have. We used to be so close, despite our intimate moments, and I want that back. Sex is a natural part of a healthy relationship and I want that healthy relationship back."

Santana nodded. She understood where he was coming from. "Good. Then let him know that. Let him know that you're not trying to brush over things with sex. You're not trying to erase the past with your body; you're simply trying to rebuild the physical and emotional connection you guys once had."

Kurt nodded. He could do that. "Yeah, I'm going to lay it all out for him. I'm going to tell him how I feel and then I'm going to let him fuck me senseless." He watched as a sly smile spread across her face.

"Yep and you're going to make a tape so that those of us that are interested can watch."

"What?"

"Nothing."

Blaine receives a text on his way back from lunch with his parents. It's ominous and confusing.

Hampton Inn Roschman Ave. – Kurt

The professor quirked and eyebrow but didn't respond. He would meet his boyfriend wherever he wanted for whatever he wanted. Hopefully, it wasn't bad. Kurt often liked to be alone when he was upset, so he hoped that his boyfriend wasn't so upset that he had to stay at a hotel.

By the time he'd pulled into the parking lot of the hotel, Blaine had worked himself into a panic.He probably lost his shit at the house and now he has to stay at a hotel. Shit. As quickly as possible, the professor darted from the car and into the building. He was greeted by a cheerful blonde at the front desk. "Hello, my name is Blaine Anderson and my boyfriend is a guest here. I know it's against policy to tell me what room he's in but-"

The girl held up a finger as she typed away at her computer. "Reservations for Hummel?" She asked. Blaine nodded. "He told me you'd be coming. Here's your room key. Room 412 on the 4th floor. Enjoy your stay." As Blaine grabbed the key from her hand, she winked.What the fuck is she winking for?Maybe she has something in her eye.With a shrug, he let it go and headed towards the elevator.

The fourth floor wallpaper was awful. Blaine found himself wondering if Kurt rethought booking the room when he saw the wallpaper. It was beige with gold, metallic flowers sprinkled in every crease and crevice. It made him shudder.I hope Kurt didn't go into shock. Oh no. He's probably lying on the floor convulsing over this travesty right now.

Following the signs, Blaine quickly made his way to the room. Once the image of Kurt seizing on the floor over awful wallpaper was in his mind, he couldn't seem to get it to go away. Once he found the room, he slid his key into the door and pushed it open. He didn't expect what met him at the door.

Littered across the floor were the petals of yellow and red roses. They were special flowers to the men. Whenever they were sad or angry about something, they bought each other flowers; yellow and red roses to be exact. As the professor stepped into the room, he noticed the flickering of candles in the distance.This can't be good.

Closing the door behind him, Blaine walked hesitantly into the tiny room, down the equally small hallway, and into the main room. He tried not to groan at the sight. Propped on the bed, wearing nothing but a towel, was his boyfriend. He looked amazing and unrealistically fuckable.I'm doomed."I thought you'd never get here." Kurt squeaked as he climbed to his knees. He crawled towards the edge of the bed and held out his arms to his boyfriend. Never one to turn down a hug, Blaine fell into them.

"We're not doing this, Kurt." He whispered as he held the man close. Every day made keeping his promise more difficult. He refused to give in, however. Kurt needed time and space to deal with his issues; he didn't need a hard cock or a hole to bury it in. Their relationship meant more than that to Blaine.

"Yes we are." The young man, his former student, retorted. When they pulled apart, Blaine attempted to speak; he was quickly cut off by his boyfriend's words. "We're going to do this because it's what we both want." Blaine shook his head adamantly. He wanted it just as much as he didn't want it. "Before you give me the reasons you're hesitant, can I give you the reasons that I'm not." He could do that. With a nod, Blaine sat next to his boyfriend on the bed. He owed him the opportunity to explain his side.

"Okay," Kurt began as he tucked his legs beneath himself and sat back, "I know why you're cautious. And I understand why. In the past, I may have used my....sexuality to deal with issues, but I want you to know that this is different. You...you mean so much to me. I would never taint our relationship like that. This," he grabbed his boyfriend's hand and gave it a firm squeeze, "means too much to me. You mean too much to me."

"I know that we love each other, Kurt, but sometimes I feel like you're trying to sleep with me to wash away the things that have happened to you." If Kurt was going to be honest, so was Blaine.

"I know and I'm sorry that I gave you that impression. I'll admit, in the beginning I was. You're comfortable to me and I was trying to take advantage of that comfort. It's not like that now, though. I understand what I'm doing now and I just want to be close to you. I want us to have that connection again."

A slow smile crept across the professor's face. He wanted that connection as well. He'd missed it so much. "Are you sure, Kurt? I really don't want to mess this up. You're the most important thing in my life and....I just don't want this to be marred by sex."

Kurt leaned in and kissed his boyfriend chastely on the lips. "I've never been more certain of anything in my life."

The couple laid face to face, nose to nose, chest to chest on the bed, taking in the each other's presence. They were down to their underwear and taking things slowly. Neither wanted it to end. As Blaine's hand slid across the expanse of his boyfriend's slim torso, he leaned in for a kiss. It was slow and passionate, just the way he wanted it. As their lips continued to meet, their kisses became more needing. Slow pecks became forceful kisses and tongue fights for dominance.

Slowly, Kurt rolled himself on top of his boyfriend, allowing their bodies to mesh together. They were two halves of the same heart. They slid together like a nut and a bold. Puzzle pieces. Toe sockson cold feet. Just like their first time, they fit together perfectly.

As he positioned himself on his boyfriend's lap, he leaned in and captured his lips once again. He preened as he elder's hands slid down his naked back towards his clothed ass. "God, I've missed your touch!" He moaned as Blaine gave him a firm squeeze.

"I've missed touching you." The elder moaned as he bucked his hips upwards, causing their cocks to rub against one another. He'd missed touching Kurt more than anything. Kurt took the hint and began to grind their hips together, reveling in the feeling of his boyfriend's dick against his own. It'd been too long.

He watched his boyfriend writhe beneath him as he ground his hips down. "God, baby. You look so beautiful." Blaine, whose eyes were slowly slipping shut, nodded. He felt beautiful.

As they rocked together, Blaine's hand began to fondle the elastic of Kurt's waistband. He was so close yet so far. When the need to touch more became all consuming, he professor allowed his hands to slide beneath the band and over the smooth expanse of Kurt's firm ass. They didn't stop there. He slid his hands over each soft half before allowing them to meet in the middle. They slid down the crack, pulling the globes apart, exposing his boyfriend's expectant hole. "God, touch me, baby. Please." The brunette, whose motions stilled the second his boyfriend's hands began to slide across his ass, begged.

Quickly, Blaine pulled his hand out, much to his boyfriend's dismay, and placed it in front of his boyfriend's face. "Suck." He instructed. Eagerly, Kurt nodded and took the fingers between lips, sucking intently. He laced the digits with his saliva before pulling off with a lewd pop.

"Come on, baby. Touch me." Kurt begged once again. Blaine trailed his hands back down his boyfriend's back and into the back of his boxer briefs. He used the crack as a map and trailed down to the neglected hole. He wasted no time circling it. "Yeah, baby! Please."

The tip of the first finger slid in readily. Blaine listened as his boyfriend's breathe hitched as it slid further in. "Is it okay, baby? It's been a while." He whispered. Kurt nodded. He was fine, but it had been a while. "Good." Slowly, Kurt lowered himself down onto the digit. They built a steady rhythm with each finger the professor added.

As he lowered himself once again, Kurt's body went ridged. "Fuck, baby. Right there!" He moaned as he readjusted himself on his boyfriend's hand. "That's my spot." Blaine nodded and thrust his hand into his boyfriend's heat. It was warm and welcoming, just the way he liked it.

Kurt lay next to his boyfriend, kissing along his jawline. He was thoroughly stretched and ready for more. They had to get undressed first, however. The moment Blaine's hand slid out of his briefs, the elder began to yank them down. He was ready for more as well.

As quickly as he could, the professor pulled down his boyfriend's briefs and positioned him on his back. Then, climbing between the brunette's legs, he pulled down his own. "Did you bring lube, baby?" Blaine whispered as he kicked his boxers off the bed. Kurt nodded and reached towards the night stand. When he positioned himself back on the bed, he had a bottle of unopened lube in his grasp. He flipped the top intently and began to pour the liquid into his palm. "Come on, baby, I-"

Blaine was cut off by the feeling of his boyfriend's hand sliding down the expanse of his cock. It crept slowly and teasingly down to the base before sliding back to the head. "Fuck." The professor panted as he bucked into the touch. "So good." The compliment spurred Kurt's ministrations. He sped his stroke and flicked his wrist on the uptake, causing the professor's toes to curl.

Once Blaine was slick with lube, he positioned himself at the hole. Without a moment to spare, he began to push in, throwing his head back as he entered his boyfriend's tight heat. "So tight, baby. God. You're so fucking tight!" He moaned as he inched in.

Kurt, who'd arched off the bed upon Blaine's entrance, nodded once again. Words were lost on him. When Blaine bottomed out, he swirled his hips, hitting each of his boyfriend's inner walls. "Uhhhh...baby. You...so...please!" The ex-performer whined. As diligently as he could, Blaine pulled back before snapping his hips forward.

They built a steady rhythm. Blaine pushed in and pulled out of his boyfriend's ass as Kurt writhed beneath him. They rose and sank with one another as the headboard slammed against the wall. It was everything they wanted and more. They were getting and giving everything they needed. With every pull of his cock against his boyfriend's inner most walls, Blaine received the understanding that Kurt was trying and that he would continue trying until they were back where they started; the comfortable place they'd built long ago. In return, he gave Kurt the love and compassion he needed. With every stroke of his cock or flip of his wrist, Blaine made Kurt understand that he was there to stay and that nothing could pull them apart.

As they came, one right after the other, the men found themselves filled with a new sense of caring and understanding. They truly knew each other inside and out. "I love you, Blaine and I want this to work with us. So, I want you to start coming to therapy with me when we get back to Chicago. Santana is going to recommend a doctor there and I need someone to do this with me."

Blaine smiled at his boyfriend as he slid his dick out. "Of course I'll go with you. I've got my own set of things to deal with, so we might as well deal with them together." His smile was promptly returned.

"That sounds nice." Kurt replied as he slid out of bed. He hoped they would spend a lot of time dealing with things together. In his eyes, that was what a relationship was about. Regardless of what happened, the relationship only stayed strong if the couple was a team. Based on everything that they'd been through, he knew they were definitely a team.